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CATLOVER

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  1. CATLOVER
    Well I know it hurts but maybe a break could be a good thing...you are both so young and sometimes at that age you can have what you want in front of you but not know it yet...maybe she needs some time to explore to find out what she wants. Thing is you cant split and go out and be meeting new people of the opposite sex in front of each other...thats just gonna rip both your hearts out......if you decide to saty together thats great but if a break is needed you cant be living with each other.......thats going to cause too much pain and hurt for both of you that it may ruin any chance to work things out down the track.
  2. CATLOVER
    OMG wait until you get into your thirties......... I swear i turned 30 like last year but im already 34....i dont even know where the time goes......and im told it just speeds up the older you get......GREAT
  3. CATLOVER
    I agree with the above. If you dont fancy someone muscling in on your relationship.......then dont do it to others. Otherwise you have no right to be upset if it is done to you. not sying you would ...but just my policy
  4. CATLOVER
    Kelly, hiya!!! Good on you for asking for advice for a start, you are obviously an intellegent girl and you obviously are not feeling quite right about the pattern thats been happening and your looking for some answers. Firstly doesnt matter whats been happening or happened, its done now and you have learnt first hand the way to a guys heart is not through sex. Men need to first find out if they like you as a person before they start developing any feelings for you. Thing is though if the sex is up for the offering they will usually take it.......and thats completely natural BUT it doesnt mean they will be wanting you for a girlfriend. Girls on the otherhand usually get attached once they start being so intimate with a guy......so basically all having sex so quick leads to is a hurt girl. What you need to do now is back off having sex so quick....go out with guys to places and have fun with them...decide within yourself how far you are happy to go with a guy....for instance you might decide that you are happy to only kiss for a while until you feel that he is there because he likes you and wants to be with you. If a guy asks or starts towards sex...all you need to do is tell him that you are not ready to go that far yet. If he likes you he will respect that and wait....if that makes him flee then good, he wasnt worth you any way...and better to know before hand than after. Dont ever have sex to keep a guy around...that will not work ever....oh it will keep him around...but for about 5mins Anyway Kelly its more an issue of Protect yourself.....Physically of course but Also Emotionally.......as a young beautiful intellegent woman....you have alot to offer and it is worth alot.......so only give it to those deserving. Best Of luck
  5. CATLOVER
    I have to admit Ive never been great at clean breaks...Ive tried but Ive always managed it would seem to have at least another try at a relationship. This I agree has caused more pain than needed at any given time but I must say...in hindsight on any relationship Ive ever had I can say surely without even a hesitation of doubt that I gave my best try......which I guess has resulted in me having absolutely no regrets or what ifs....when something of mine does end, when ive flogged it like a dead horse (LMAO) I know there was not a thing more could be done and for some reason thats leaves a lovely clean emotional slate once the emotions finally clear. But thats just me, and Ive seen heaps of people leave cleanly and move on to new relationships in a healthy time...... Probably just depends on the person or people involved......I hate any feelings of unfinished business or any lingering doubts.
  6. CATLOVER

    Second wife?

    CATLOVER replied to Rayana's topic in Infidelity

    Yup sorry but the ex wife isnt going anywhere because fact is they have a child together.......there is actually no point wishing he didnt have a child cause he has and the child is innocent. I understand you know that already and I understand the feelings that can go along with the situation ..believe me I know. But doesnt matter how much you love this guy you need to decide whether you can accept how it is and still be happy.....because its not going anywhere. Your partner cant change the situation either.......so really ball is in your court..... Can you live with the situation or not.....better decide this before anything goes any further. By the way I know you are feeling alot of hate for his Ex...but she is very very angry, she had his child and then got dumped which would HURT alot.......unfortunately as someone said above...it should be directed at him....but since she has to at least try and get along with him for her child it being sent your way. Maybe she even still believes if you didnt exist she would be with him...who knows....but All im saying is she is in great pain as well.
  7. CATLOVER
    Whoa ! well you know just because your love feels so strong and mature between you doesnt mean you have to be thinking about or doing adult things....there is no rush...you have years and years to really find out if the relationship is really what you both think and feel it is.....the test of time will be the true indicator. Your gift is that you can both just relax now and be teenagers and have fun.....you can be commited to each other to a point but believe me all the rest marriage and children and all that....thats not a fairytale and it can be very hard with many issues and is best left until you are adults and can handle it. Now the two of you need to chill out , enjoy each other and enjoy your carefree youth Best of Luck
  8. CATLOVER
    Hmmmm There are no rules of course but generally of the people I know including myself the woman has usually uttered those words first. If he feels the same it will be music to his ears......by the sounds of the way he is making you feel so safe and secure my guess is he feels it to. Good for you...sounds wonderful
  9. CATLOVER
    Didnt ya know they drop outta the sky Please dont be so ignorant ... LMAO
  10. CATLOVER
    From the Stork Iceman....sheesh....LMAO
  11. CATLOVER
    I can see you already know it wont be a bed of roses.....is he aware of the impact this will have on his life and any relationships he has. I guess you cant know what they are until the baby is here. If you love each other enough to stay together and work through each issue then so be it.....itll definitely be a test. From experience I have found its not usually the guy or the child but the mother of the child that can throw a spanner in the works.....but thats only my experience Goodluck with whatever you decide
  12. CATLOVER
    Hmmmm You really need to say something to him or it will fester......Tell him how grateful you are for all his help with the child but that financially you are feeling resentful that you are paying for most of everything. If its how you feel, its how you feel...and better to talk it out with him and give him a chance to try and sort something out....its unfair to go on and pretend your happy, when your not...itll seep out soon in other ways.
  13. CATLOVER
    I personally think its better to give yourself permission and know its perfectly normal to fantasise about what you dont have....... Id definitely be exploring that lust for bigger boobs in ways that wont hurt your relationship. Is porn ok with your wife? You need a safe outlet...I dont think it will be a case of getting over it.
  14. CATLOVER
    Some people are having a bit of a go at you.....but most are just trying to help you get to the root of the problem by asking you certain questions. Thats all
  15. CATLOVER
    Hmmmmmm How long did you date for?? Just because a woman is beautiful doesnt mean there will be sexual chemistry. Actually alot of the time a man will start out very turned on by a beautiful woman only to find as they get to know each other that the sexual part drops off because she is really not what he wants in a partner. This is only a suggestion of course...only you know the answers.....but if the ZING aint there well........anyway I agree with above statements of be careful what you say to your wife...there is nothing wrong with her because her breasts are small...some men will love that.....so dont go making her feel inadequate....... Keep us posted
  16. CATLOVER
    Oh honey.... I know I know.....being an idealist at heart I WAS PERPLEXED to find that some people are just looking for someone they can lie to and play......predators looking for someone to suck the blood from......I found myself with one last year and Im 33...so dont feel bad.....you just had a open heart and the wrong guy....plus being your first he really has dug the hooks in....I know you cant imagine being with others but Im telling you I thought that after my first love and I broke up....I thought Id never be able to love another man.....but guess what I have had two long term relationships and one drop kick unfortunately in the last ten or so yrs so guess what girl...START NO CONTACT with MR Sicko and just take a day at a time.....there will be hard times but u can do it with the help of the support on this board and counselling. YOU have alot ahead of you including real love.
  17. CATLOVER
    Thanks Beks, It helps that someone understands........it helps alot I was thinking bout it after I wrote...and maybe a part of me (the emotional part) really needed to reinforce Id done the right thing...for whatever reason.........but I had been really thinking about him full on for few weeks and now ive seen him Ive lost that....so maybe it has helped me in a way.
  18. CATLOVER
    OK so I need a bit of guidance here.........any views would help. So I broke up from a relationship which was well quite horrible to be honest about fourish months ago. For a bit of a run down the man I was involved with was rebounding from a long term relationship in which he had a very young baby....only he forgot to mention this (you know as you do...lots of sarcasm yes) to me until months into the relationship after I had feelings for him and I received a call from his ex partner and was given the run down......he had walked out on his eight year relationship and six month old baby. A huge shock to say the least ... Ok so I found myself with feelings for a guy who had basically been using me and lying blatantly to me for many months.....I admit this is where I should have dropped off and outta the story.....but I didnt....It kills me to say I continued on with him for maybe another six months....him bouncing all over the place emotionally and me feeling not very great at all... Logically I knew the whole time it had to end as this was definitely not what I would hope for myself but I got very very stuck and it took me along time to finally close the door. So four months no contact....I was going great , wasnt really missing any of the past crap maybe just a moment here and there of sadness but basically was relieved. Then in the last couple of weeks I started thinking about him again...I tried to just ignore it but.....I went out last night and had a few drinks and YUP...you guessed it I phoned him. He came picked me up from where I was and took me home and I can at least say although there was a little physical affection I didnt let it get to the bedroom. Of course we talked and I could tell he is still exactly the same (DERR).....ANYWAY what is bugging me is ME...what on earth am I doing to myself...and why? I dont get it.....I dont understand why I would even entertain the thought of having him anywhere near me. HE has shown me a million times over in his actions that he couldnt give a rats ar..... for me .....and I am really starting to get annoyed with myself....its confusing...I definitely dont want to be with him...I cant think of anything I admire or respect in this guy...so whats the big hook....... I dont know.......does anyone understand what I mean.......
  19. CATLOVER
    I think definitely dont send a card...I know a part of you will want to but its not worth steps backwards in your own healing for it. Not only that but in my experience when Ive done things like this after a relationship has ended its always been taken by them that Im still all hooked up on them........ If he decided not to be with you....well help him find out what that really feels like not having you there.............food for thought
  20. CATLOVER
    You can never really lose someone who is truly yours....even if you let them go because of circumstance or wrong time or things going wrong or whatever.....if someone or something is meant to be yours it will be in the right time in the right way...if its not then you have made space for what or who is coming into your life.....so u cant lose either way ....I know its easy to say,and I forget this myself sometimes....but I do believe it to be true
  21. CATLOVER
    Im hearing you!! I miss John!!! Bad Bad Bad for me.....I walked away....no choice....had to.....!!!! Cant be with him, just cant.........under my skin and driving me crazy...definitely!!!!! All I want to do is not have any feelings or memories left.....I want the thoughts of him to stop..........I want it all so far behind me that it cant touch me anymore....and sometimes I think Im there...and then ...AND THEN im driving on my car and thinking and thinking of Him and wondering what he is doing and I feel my dumb heart break a little........ ho hum!!!!
  22. CATLOVER
    Sheesh, Its her....no wonder your confused. Mind Games !!! By what you have written I get the feeling she is angry at you for not quite being who she wants you to be and thats a no win situation. You need to be loved and cared for who you are
  23. CATLOVER
    Hey There, Bummer for you, I know it can be a real nusisance. Go to the Pharmacy and ask for Acidophilus capsules. They are kept in the pharmacy behaind the counter in the fridge so you will have to ask for them. I swear if you use a treatment plus the capsules you will knock it on the head. Goodluck Hope this helps
  24. CATLOVER
    The chances that she could be pregnant are minimal. If you didnt ejaculate just before or while in her and you pulled out when it broke then I doubt anything has happened. I think if you are that worried you can go visit the doctor together and talk about it. Just try not to panic as I feel fairly certain you have nothing to worry about but I am not willing to say there is absolutely no chance.
  25. CATLOVER
    UH OH!!!!!! Not good at all!!!!! Its hard when you feel for someone...but are you happy with this ongoing drama? Would you be happy if you were still involved in this 6months from now? What do you want for yourself? Is this it?Honestly really do you feel loved and cared for at all? Ive been on one of these rollercoasters to hell and back relationships and once i started asking myself a few questions I finally got the strength to break free and never look back. It wasnt easy and it hurt like hell......but Im a million times happier now.
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