Hepcat13

well there are ways to get your point accross with out indication of attacking which always puts the receiver in a defensive state.. ehhhh im probably not gonna repost on this site.. although its more entertaing than Myspace.. that thing makes people spend entirly too much time on the internet .

the rest of your post i felt i was being stabbed at..

well again i might get beaten up for this.. but, i think it has to do with mind over matter.. When you date you can walk away @ anytime.. is it right.. no but it does not break any sanctity. Married.. well, a divorce over the size of ones chest or the lack of pleasure in intamicy is a bit worng and extremly heart breaking .. I might be alot of things but i would never want to break my wifes heart. and although we have brutal arguments and both say things we shouldnt and we threatin with seperation, i do love her and could not bring myself to it.. If she were to divorce me .. yea it would hurt but ive been independent for so damn long that id get over it quickly.. but not so the other way around .. it would destroy her, and thats something i just could never bring myself to do .. Oh dear, this doesn't sound right at all. So you're saying you would never leave her because it would break HER heart? and YOU would get over it quickly? That doesn't sound like the stance of a loving husband to me, it sounds like you couldn't care less. If that is the case then you really should break up because she deserves to be with somebody who WANTS to be with her because he loves her to death rather than out of a feeling of obligation. You also should be with somebody who makes you happy, life is too short to be married to somebody for years because you are scared of breaking their heart - we don't get long on this earth you know! If you're really not happy and don't think that these issues can be resolved it might be better to break up now while you are still both relatively young, better that than cheat on her with a big breasted woman later down the line. Again, you have got the wrong implication from my post. I am a loving husband everything i do for her is out of love.. i joined the service because she has Diabieties and couldnt afford health care.. I picked up a second job to help pay for her student loans. Do not take stabs at me! I simply meant that i would get on shortly after .. BECAUSE I DONT dwell in sadness.. Thats me thats the way i grew up. Bella Donna and others thank you for your replys and i am going discuss with her tonight about counseling. and the reason i said it would destroy her is because she had told me that.. your reading into this wrong and others are doing just fine. To tell me she deserves to be with someone who wants to be with her.. damn you-- thats mighty bold.. i started this topic about fantisizing.. I know better now to post on a Male Bashing site.. next time ill just post on link removed because the women there dont Stab at you...rather, like other women here, tried to help.. talk about double standards.. your the one that use to bash internet relationships and you married into one.

To me these things are the core issues, and the breast issue is small (no pun intended) in comparision to these communication problems. I think you should strongly consider couples counseling. BellaDonna Im going to look into it.. i believe the Military offers free counseling

Tell me, why didn't her breast size bother you so much when you were dating? well again i might get beaten up for this.. but, i think it has to do with mind over matter.. When you date you can walk away @ anytime.. is it right.. no but it does not break any sanctity. Married.. well, a divorce over the size of ones chest or the lack of pleasure in intamicy is a bit worng and extremly heart breaking .. I might be alot of things but i would never want to break my wifes heart. and although we have brutal arguments and both say things we shouldnt and we threatin with seperation, i do love her and could not bring myself to it.. If she were to divorce me .. yea it would hurt but ive been independent for so damn long that id get over it quickly.. but not so the other way around .. it would destroy her, and thats something i just could never bring myself to do ..

Ok - so, how to reconnect sexually now? Maybe talk to your wife. See if she will engage in role-play, or watching some porn videos, or insstructional videos... What about taking a romantic weekend getaway together? But see thats the thing.. that sort of thing i become very uncomfortable with.. roll playing and such. also i have to look @ my surroundings.. Im uncomfortable here and we both dont like it but have no choice due to being in the Military. And on that i hate being in this business. I firmly believe that once i am free of this job and environment living situation that my mind will be on the right track.. or firmly hope.

Thats the reason I married him, he's not a total sleazeball unlike some men out there.... Not all men are the same you know. Well i agree with the Lot of you that there are men who never grew out of the Neanderthal stage. and that is worng.. its Disgusting what that man said to you Bella Donna .. but please do not class me as sleazeball, as you do not know me. If in fact you were referring that to me because i admited to fantisizing..

i know the relationship your talking about and its good for some not for others. I was intimate with a women whos husband approached me for his wife.. and they seemd on the outside to be a very stable couple. but i had a feeling after i had gotten together with her, that i cant really see that being a healthy relationship.. I mean who knows it very well might be. As for me, no. I would not partake in such activity. esp. this early in a marrige. nor do i shun that activity cause if so i would stand as a hipocrate.. Yes i do want to stay married.. I am venting on here, and its helped me actually, cause i have never talked about it.

I don't know really I just think they're too big and I hate the fact that sleazy guys stare at them... B cup still isnt that big.. but Men are men and will look .. Sleazy.. well i have mixed feelings about this.. i agree there are alot of sleaze balls that will Gawk but most look and fantisize. more on a High B - C cup and tight D cups.. I know when i go out and i see a woman that is dressed very revealing it is because she wants to be revealing.. if i seen a woman in a sweater, well we get the point here..

Outstanding !!! i didnt wanna open that can but being you did i will stand beside you on that.. not double talk though Double standards. I have written many a blog about it actually. I know for a fact.. every man does .. that were all looking when were not with our spouces.. and when you go to the bathroom.. there goes the peak.. I see it all the time.. esp. while i was bartending.. women are no saints to this either.. its very human to do this.. but to say yours doesnt.. well..

Vert and Cat .. you both have very very good points that i value.. its seems some just look for the drama in an argument on forums.. cat.. the Porn issue.. you know.. i think that might be part of my probelm.. because i have turned to porn and now all the porn i look @ to satisfy myself is that of women with a b cup or higher.. dont really go to high such as Triple H's like Stacy Stacks the Porn Star.. ok im going off in left field here.. But what i have notcied about myself that i ABSOLUTLEY HATE is that i have become " that guy" like an old school italian .. i wont do that with my wife cause its disrespectful type.. you know what i mean.. i mean i get very uncomfortable if i had to watch porn with her or use toys and what not.. probably because when i was a bachelor i got more @ss than a toilet seat and i think that ruined it for me and now that i partake in porn alone, i feel that is playing a major role on my sex life.. I think i should go to a counselor.. Oh wait.. i dont want you to think im some porn perv freak.. i just fantisize alot but i should be fantisizing about my wife and it makes me sad when guys say i cant wait till i get home and make love to my wife.. cause i can.. grrr...

no one said it?? i was shuned upon .. and if i had those thoughts before i got married why did i get married? those thoughts are redicuals and can be resolved..thats what im trying to do .. they now are taking the better of me but from what you all are saying is pretty much what a jerk i am and you feel bad for her.. well what a jerk i would have been if i didnt mary BEACUSE of those thoughts. other things need work yes.. counseling? well i have entertained the thought. But im trying to get over these thoughs of nice sweet sexy cuvacuious ( is that a word ) chest.. i was being sarcastic there

oh by the way .. cause i see a wicked huge pattern here.. SHE brought up the implant idea.. NOT me.. it was over a bathing suit.. and i said well if thats something you want to do i will stand by you.. i made the mistake by not telling her " i love you no matter what " and im sure 99% men would not argue if there wives with a chest that of a 13yr boy said that to them .. but again .. She had brought the conversations up. and now everytime a girl walks by with a C cup and larger.. ( not only do i fanisize ) but i have to look away to let her know.. im not looking.. Sometimes i believe when you say the words i do .. you put your testicles up on the mantle to remind you that you are to not have these thoughts anymore.. well alot of you have made me feel that way.. Any Men care to comment on this?

. It seems very unfair to her that she tries hard to please you and it just doesn't do it for you because her chest isn't big enough. You seem frustrated with it too, but it must be very hard for her. When have i said this.. its ok to judge me and im a firm believer in having your own opinion and i respect that !! but when people just assume.. well we all know that old saying.. There are many other things that are wrong with this marrage but from what i read it seems alot of men and women are going through the same thing.. one of the major problems is that i have been independent my whole life and i find it very easy to make friends..She got outta college lived with her folks and married me.. now we are in a new State .. well new to us .. and have been here almost a year. I enjoy going out with friends i have made and OF COURSE i invite her all the time but there are times where if she works on Sat. and i wanna watch a game @ the pub with a couple buddys.. its a big deal.. She expects me to sit our place until she comes home ( if im not working ). or i say to her .. hey friday this couple that we know want us to come over.. shell sit there and talk crap about them calling them white trash- this that and the other.. i know im getting off the point but i can tie it into the point.. i am doing everything i can to make this relationship work, but it comes down to the fact that she becomes very very childish and very selfish when it comes to us.. She gets upset that i have friends and insists on talking ill about them. Brings me back to im trying to work this sexual issue out but i know that once i do i still have all this other childish stuff to work out and i tend to put everything together.. Like .. man .. she wont leave me alone for 5 min and i wish her brests were just a lil bigger... grrrr.. ranting on the internet is wicked fun!!

If it this is a recent thing, that you aren't turned on by her, then maybe it can be fixed. But if you have always felt this way, then why did you get married? Thats what im trying to do is fix these feelings that i have .. I have felt this way while we were dating but like i said wasnt that much an issue. And i said to myself Screw that .. i love this woman and she is BEAUTIFUL so i will marry and put these feelings behind me. But they have surfaced again.