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About Me

Found 13 results

  1. For the past 4 years, my ex-wife and I have arranged, between the two of us, the child support I will receive. We split 50/50 custody of our two children and she makes over twice what I do. It has been not easy. She'll often try to renegotiate the amount and we typically agree on an amount that is 25% or more less than what the state would calculate. Twice now she had cried poor and tried to ask me to do without receiving child support. She did this again last night and I am getting kind of tired of it. I feel I am been more than flexible. She pays much less than the state would ask, I allow her to pay late or break up the payments as she can. When she was unemployed, I even didn't ask for any child support, even though it completely drained my savings accounts. We have an amicable relationship and are able to co-parent well, but this child support thing is a frequent stress. I have gotten to the point where, after an e-mail last night where she didn't ask, but *told* me she was stopping child support in January. I'm considering getting the courts involved. I wanted to hear from people who had gone through this: went from an informal agree to a court ordered one and what your experiences were. I want to maintain a good relationship with my ex-wife for the kids, but I can't just let her stop paying support, especially since we already agreed to a new amount earlier this year and neither of our circumstances have changed.
  2. Ok so I'm sure some of you have read my post in the relationship thread about my fiance working out of town and us barely talking and so on. Basically what this boils down to is I'm unhappy. I have been extremely stressed due to the fact that he still has not been able to contribute to the Bill's at all. Except maybe $50. Now granted I can see where some of you would say he shouldn't have to pay for any of the bills here, if he's not currently here which I understand. but he's not even trying to help pay our cellphone bill. His solution to the fact that our phones are going to be shutoff is to just forget about it and go get a prepaid phone. Now I've had the same cellphone company for 7 years. Not to mention I've been working on rebuilding my credit after filing bankruptcy last year. So when he said that I was infuriated. I did calmly tell him that that is not an option nor the way i handle things. It's been harder because I had surgery 3 weeks ago and I missed a little over a week of work, on top of I'm part time and now they've cut hours so I don't even get what used to be the minimum of 25 hours a week. And I have considered getting another part time job, but on also trying to overextend myself and screw my shoulder recovery because I've also just started school. I've not had to worry so much because my veterans disability does cover the rent for the apartment. but there's still about $900 in bills that have to be paid every month. Which he used to atleast help me pay the electricity and the phone bill. I always of course covered my car and insurance. but now I'm basically scrambling to cover for everything. It has boiled down to the fact that I'm now having to move in with friends because I can no longer afford all the bills. His response was I'm sorry baby but thats a good idea and basically that was it. Mind you, it did take a bit for me to realize the only bill he has where he's at is rent to the people he's living with. Thats only 250. And he sends $50 child support every week for his daughter. I know he has child support taken out for his son. but he gets paid every week, where I only get paid every 2 weeks. And I'm lucky now if its $150 And he's currently making a good bit more than me. He goes to the gym every day on his dime and he buys protein powder and pre-workout supplements as well. But says he can't send anymore money. Is it wrong of me to be fed up? I've been thinking about ending things and just getting a fresh start. Especially since at 33 I'm having to move in with friends to get my together. on top of now I'm going to school and still recovering from shoulder surgery. Am I being stupid or what?
  3. So, I've been dating a girl that's still married. She separated more than a year ago and has been living in "their" house alone with their daughter for the entire year. He has also moved on but they have both avoided the actual divorce because it financially benefited them both to leave everything together. The house, car, bank, etc are all still in both of their names. Its weird, but they are in fact over and nothing is going on between the two of them. Recently, as the divorce is finally getting formal, she asked for roughly $600 in child support and for him to pay half the house payment until it sells. He absolutely refuses, saying that he believes his daughter only needs roughly $500 to live on. In our state, the father's child support is automatic based on his income, so in the end he'll end up paying the $600-ish either way unless she willing informs the judge that she doesn't wish to seek the full amount owed. Here's where I'm confused. He has offered to pay $500 / month for child support and help her out with an additional $250 for her car payment (and continue to pay half the mortgage payment until the house sells). In the end, he's financially worse off by $150 / month for the next 5 years. Given his resistance to pay the initial $600 figure, I'm wondering why he's being so generous. There absolutely must be a plus-side of this for him in the end or in the long run or he wouldn't offer to pay more than he's required. Obviously, she's considering this. It benefits her if she's gaining $750 / month instead of $600. What am I missing? Her and I are getting pretty serious (been dating about 6 months) and I can see us moving in together after her house sells (its not yet on the market). I don't want her to be financially dependent on her ex though. Is that me being selfish? I don't want to find that she can't help me with our living expenses because the ex stopped paying her that $250 that he promised her... even if its written up in some contract. I don't really think he'd do that, given that his daughter ends up suffering in the end if I don't pick up the slack financially, but is it a risk worth taking? Should I just let her do her own thing and stay out of it all together? She's a big girl but she's never been "on her own". They were high school sweethearts and she's always relied on him. She still believes that if at the end of the month, in either scenario, she needed money, that he would give it to her (because it would benefit his daughter). Its also important to note - in our state she can only go back and ask for the child support figure to be re-calculated once every three years. At the end of the day, I only want the best for her and her daughter. What are your thoughts?
  4. So I meet this guy and he's totally not my type but somehow we click and I liked his uniform(I'm a sucker for military men.) I tell myself give him one date, don't be shallow. We fell into an easy conversation like we've known each other forever. I was in love and it blinded me. There were red flags but I chose to ignore them telling myself he's into me. He was "divorced" (I'll explain the quotes) with two kids. But he was possessive way too soon. After a month of dating we went out with my aunt and her friends. he totally freaked out bc he thought one of the guys was flirting with me and I with him. I let it slide bc he had trust issues from his ex. After maybe 6 months of dating he proposed. We move in together, and somehow I was the only income because during that time was the government shutdown and he didn't get paid for almost two months. My measly savings was gone, but he had no problems using my income to feed his kids during visits and to take them out. But hey I was still in love and dumb as . We get evicted bc I can't afford rent so his bright idea was to move a state over and I leave my job to be near his job and kids. We still can't afford rent in our new place, so he pawns the engagement ring he gave me promising to replace it. I get knocked up. Jobless pregnant and still stupid and in love we get evicted from place # 2. All of the above happens within two years. Meanwhile he sells me this story that his ex has screwed him over with child support and that's why we have no money from his job. He also tries to sell me the story that she refused to sign the divorce papers and he didn't realize they were still married. I'm ing six months pregnant and they "re-file" the divorce papers and are legally divorced a mere three months before my son is born. Now bc we were evicted from our second home, he finds this hole trailer for us that has no running water. He promises things will get better and this hole is temporary. Oh and btw we open credit cards and utilities in my name cause "his ex ed up his credit." Two and a half years into living in a hovel and arguing all the time about money and the fact that he spends more on smokes and pot than on me and the baby. Meanwhile he's built up quite a large amount on child support arrears and I'm starting to see he's not the great father he tried to paint to me. I feel like I gave up everything to be with him, and sacrificed so much for him and get crumbs of affection from him. He paints this beautiful picture about how much I mean to him and how much he loves me. But other than the $1500 engagement ring he got me the few gifts I've gotten were a few cheap flowers and jewelry. And those are the nicest thing s he done for me and I was still blinded somehow by love for this man. So our son is two years old growing up in this hole trailer still with no running water. We have to use the neighbors shower and buy bottled water. We run out our stay here too and the electricity gets cut off and we owe money to the guy he bought the trailer from and the guy wants it back. His friend suggested to him to use his army retirement to buy a business. I ask him if he in fact have a retirement fund and he says "of course." I had been arguing with him to use his army retirement to bail us out, but he gives me flimsy excuse after excuse not to. Finally he admits he lied, and that love veil I had slips. Out of options I bow my head and asks my mom to take me and my son in. She doesn't like this deadbeat guy and can you blame her? So he's not welcome. 6 months into living with my mom rent free and jobless. She talks some sense into me and tells me to applying for state benefits. Bc she can no longer afford to keep another two mouths in her house with only one income. So I tell mr deadbeat, "look you had six months to get your together but you're still homeless. I have to do what's best for me and the kid. I have to apply for welfare to get back in my feet and get a job and need help with daycare so I can work. State benefits will pursue child support to pay for the benefits." After the child support hearing he freaks and blames me for screwing up his life and now my child support order the other one for his two other kids will haunt him for the rest of his life. Pissed off at his reaction, we finally break up. I'm angry and upset and somehow feel guilty. But I can't think of what I owe him to feel this way. The child support sends his boss a letter something about non compliance to deduct child support from his pay, so he gets fired. Again I get a text saying I ruined his life. And again I feel guilty. I think maybe I should go help him with lowering the child support payments, and then I think why the hell should I? He texts me over the weekend asking if i was sure I want to end this officially because he doesn't want to be alone for the rest of his life and doesn't want to do anything he'll regret just in case I change my mind. He says he's trying to change for me and I'm not giving him a chance and I'll regret this when he gets his together. I guess maybe my question is if someone can somehow see it from his point of view and tell me if I'm actually being the he's making me feel like I am or what? I just don't have anyone to confide in, and feel lost and alone.
  5. Just to give you a back story, my fiance has never been physically abusive. Short tempered and a bully verbally when he gets mad, yes. But never physical. We have two kids together and have been together for a few years. So anyways, the other night he and I were casually discussing child support when he (half as a joke, half out of curiosity) decided to pull up one of those child support calculators online to see what he would hypothetically have to pay. After getting the results he laughed and said "By the way, if you ever take me for child support, I'll kill you." He has never threatened to harm me, so I was stunned and didn't know what to say. Despite it bothering me, I tried to ignore it by giving a simple laugh and saying "yeah right." To which he responded with a straight face "I'm serious. If you ruin my life like that, I'll ing blow your head off and then kill myself." I was speechless because he has never shown any indication of ever being violent towards me. The threat seemed out of character. A day or two later, I brought it up again because it was still bothering me, but I maybe I'm overreacting, so I ask "that was a joke, right?" He laughed and said "no, I'm dead serious." But the way he said it, he sounded like he was joking? The conversation was dropped and has not been revisited. He's not the "talk about your feelings" or an "open dialogue" kind of guy, so I don't want to bring it up again. Child support is a non-issue for me, and I obviously have no intentions of needing that from him. We have plans to be married soon. But his comments genuinely scared me, just to think that he could be capable of saying such a thing, much less actually doing it. I'm not sure if I'm overreacting for feeling this way. Should I be worried? Could this indicate a deeply rooted issue that I'm blind to right now? Or is this a poor attempt at a joke, and I'm being overly sensitive? Like I said, no other indication or threats that he would ever harm me.
  6. I will try to make a long story short but I will have to therefore leave alot out. My son is almost 3 and he has only met his Dad once when he was 9 months old. His father basically abandon us when I was pregnant in order to drink and have sex with someone else. But he also denied the baby was his and when I was pregnant I moved 2000 miles away. But I did file for child support so he is on birth cert. But my child support case has been stuck in the enforcement system for 3 years and I dont even have an order yet. I think its because there is no parenting plan and they are trying to force me to make one and if I dont they wont do a child support order. So there is a bunch of legal issues that would need to be worked out. He says he wants a relationship with the baby but does not make the effort, it is just a very high conflict situation. Tonight I am upset because I was reading emails I sent him while I was pregnant ( that werent responded to ever ) trying so hard to work something out with him. To try to make a life for the baby. At that point I was still really open to ideas on making something work. It was just hell because he was like a brick wall and didnt want to do anything. So once he later decided he did want to see his son I wanted him to make a big effort but it was minimal. Being 2000 miles away in a high conflict parenting situation with a 3 year old doesnt make for a parenting plan that would be very effective or practical, especially with someone who doesnt want to try much. But if I am forced into doing it how could it possibly benefit my son? And I really want nothing to do with him, I have PTSD from him and I cant deal with anymore from him, its been 3 years and I still dont feel like I can. Its very hard to trust a father that abandoned his first born child at birth not to skip out when things get tough. I feel like I should wait longer to deal with this till my son is older. But I also feel so bad that my son doesnt have a Dad. But like I said before I tried to keep him in the baby's life but he didnt want to then. What is the point of me making the effort again? ( Well to get the child support I guess ) But he said he will never come to our state to visit he only wants him to go there and I dont want him to go there at all. There is just so much to fight about! And I will never move closer to him, that is out of the question, I mean abandoning a child at birth is very serious and alot of people dont come back from that, so understand it is a very hard situation. I have another son with my ex husband I co parent with even though I dont like him but he already had a bond with the child and never walked away so trust me its very different. I did give the baby's father a chance when he was 9 months old I went over there for 6 weeks ( stayed with my family ) and he only saw him 1 time and another time for 15mins. And I made 7 offers in 6 weeks ( one of which was the baby's 1st Christmas and he refused to see him because he wanted to spend time with his girlfriend instead ) and he refused 5 times. So that just proved to me I made the right choice to leave after he told me to f#@* off when I was 8 months pregnant. But he still says he wants to be invloved ( but I stopped talking to him a year ago and he has not tried to fix anything or go to court, all he is doing is fighting the child support ) and it seems I am being forced to get a parenting plan even though I dont want to parent with him and he isnt interested much. So I feel like I should pull away more and change my number again so he can never call again. But then I will feel more bad for my son but his Dad sucks so what can I do??!!!
  7. This is my first time posting here. I decided to google "relationship forum" so I can get advice from random, impartial strangers because I am not comfortable speaking to any friends or family about this. They have a perfect picture of my husband painted in their minds and I don't want to tarnish it unless it comes down to me leaving him. This is going to be very long. I'll apologize in advance. My now husband and I met about two years ago. About 6-7 months into our relationship, I began getting messages from fake facebook accounts (they only had a name, no photos, obviously created just to send me an untraceable message). The first one simply said "tell your man to leave me alone and he will never see his son." I laughed that one off. He does not have a son.. His parents were begging for a grandchild at the time and he is not the type of person to abandon a child. When I told him about this first message, he told me that this had happened to him before, and he has a crazy ex who has vowed to never let him be in a peaceful relationship again. She pops up out of nowhere, always claiming that she is pregnant or has a kid with him, and trying to upset his current relationship. I believed every word he said. The messages kept coming, maybe one a month or one every other month, always from a different fake account. I never once responded to a message. Then she began sending screen shots of a phone conversation, where he told her he would leave me and told her he still loved her. The screenshots showed his actual phone number in the from box. I was upset about this, because he had recently changed his number and I wanted to know how she got it. He said probably from an old friend, since they had old mutual friends, she could have easily gotten his number out of someone's phone if she were that desperate, and then created a fake text image to send to me. Once again, I bought it. She also sent me a photo of a baby and said "I will see you in court for child support" I did a reverse google image search on the photo and she had stolen it from a mom's blog back in 2011. This helped me to not believe the things she was saying. If there were a real baby, she would've sent a real photo. ***I should add that somewhere along this timeline, I became pregnant. We were very happy, always together, I had no reason to suspect any of this was true and I believed everything he told me. I even talked about it with his mom, who assured me he had a very crazy ex that had indeed done this to him previously*** Fast forward to the day I finally pulled my head out of my a$$.. about 6 months ago. I got another random message, from another fake account, with very detailed information about his work schedule, a few recent events in our life, and things that I knew someone could not make up. I confronted him with this information and again he said "mutual friends". I couldn't buy it this time, and I asked him for the online password to our mobile phone account, so that I could look at the usage log and verify that he was not texting her. He refused to give me this info and told me I was wrong for not trusting him. This was all I needed to confirm in my mind that he was lying and this "crazy ex" was telling the truth. I told him I couldn't stay with him if he could not either come clean, or give me the password. I told him if I were in his shoes I would do everything I could to reassure him I was not talking to my ex, and would gladly hand over a password. The next day, after almost no conversation and me planning to leave, he broke down and came clean. He told me that this ex of his was threatening to sue him over medical complications stemming from an abortion she had two years ago, and that she was telling him if he left me she would drop the charges. It sounds crazy... I know. So he said he was telling her things, leading her on, to keep her from pressing charges. This story lined up with some of the screen shots I had been sent, when he would say "please don't do this" and she would say "too late, enjoy your life with her, Ill see you in court etc". So she was telling me the charges were child support related, and telling him they were abortion related. I'd never seen him cry before and he was bawling, hysterical, saying he couldn't lose me, he was sorry, he didn't know what to do, he was scared... After we looked into the false claims she was making, he was assured that these "charges" were not possible. He changed his phone number, promised that it was all over and he would not ever again have contact with her. I was surprised at myself, for how quickly I forgave him. I have left people for a lot less in the past, but something in me (perhaps his unborn child..) just automatically made me want to forgive him and move forward. After this all happened, the ex disappeared. I should ad also that we live nearly 1000 miles from where she lives and where he is from, so there is no worries about them ever seeing each other in person. We were married last month, and our baby is due in less than two months. Things have been absolutely perfect and I have never once regretted forgiving him. Then today.. I'm going through old facebook messages looking for one from a former customer, and I find three messages, again from three different fake accounts, that I somehow lost in the filtered folder and never read. These messages were sent one month ago, the morning after our wedding night. The messages contained another photo of a random baby, not the same one in the first picture she sent.. Pictures of his penis (he had told me before that she sent these pics to his other ex as well, they are clearly very old photos, he's in a bed I've never seen before and they are tiny low resolution photos that look like they were taken on a flip phone) and again she says "we will see you in court for child support, he's lying to you, he's still talking to her, look through his phone for a fake text number app that he uses to talk to her". I asked him for his phone, he handed it to me, I looked through all of his apps and there was no fake number app on his phone. Now I am at a complete loss. He told me that he has had absolute zero contact with her since the day he fessed up and we changed his number. He said she won't be happy until she sees us broke up on facebook, and she only sent this stuff to try to upset our wedding and honeymoon. Thank goodness I didn't find them until now or it would've upset it. He is being very compliant this time. I never ask to look through his phone, but when I did out of nowhere he handed it over. He's willing to show me anything I want to assure me that she is being crazy, she's upset that we are happily married, and still trying last ditch attempts to try to upset the relationship. I know the "baby" doesn't exist. If it were real, again, she would have sent real photos. Also, he is military, so if she wanted to file for child support it would be an extremely easy process for her and it would have happened by now. I definitely feel like that is something she is making up to try to get to me. However, I do have doubts about his honesty now, and whether or not he is still talking to her. Last time I was so blind sided because our relationship was so happy, that I'm terrified of being blind sided again. We are best friends, together every single day, we hardly ever argue... When I think about leaving him over trust issues it is absolutely devastating. I want this family we have started and I want my life to be with him, I just want to know that I can trust him. Is there anything I can do to make sure he does not have this app? I didn't see it in his phone but I know hiding apps is possible as well. Would you contact the crazy ex? Still to this day I have not responded to her once. For all I know, she may have no clue I've even read the messages. I've asked my husband if I could contact her to see what proof she has and he said go ahead if you need to, but you are playing into her games just like she wants you to. I know he's right. This woman is nuts and obviously dying for a response, attention, acknowledgment... I don't want to give that to her but at the same time, I want to know I can trust him again. If I need to leave, I want to do it now so I can get my own place set up before the baby comes. If anyone has any advice please share it. Be as harsh as you want, that's why I'm here. I know it probably sounds crazy that I forgave him the first time, because it sounds crazy to me too. I just want to know if there is any truth to these new messages, how to find out, and what to do. Thanks for reading this novel, I'm looking forward to an outside perspective since I've discussed this with no one.
  8. Hey everyone, I was hoping for some advice here. Typically, my ex and I get along, but every now and then, she turn pretty nasty. We had agreed on certain things child support wise, I lost some hours at work, I asked her if it would be okay If I paid less, she told me that, wasn't a problem. Then, she turns around and changes her mind, because she didn't agree how I was handling a situation with my son. (I've had a really hard time with him not sneaking in bed with me, unfortunately I give in) I completely understand this, and honestly I am doing my best to work on it) But, she sent me a pretty nasty text yelling at me, and that I will go back to paying the orginal amount. Yes, I know I could get a lawyer, and all that. But, that's a last resort. How do I deal with her nasty text, and pretty much calling me a horrible parent. I could ignore her, yes. But, when it comes to money, obviously I can't.
  9. Hi so to make this a short story I'm currently in a relationship however I never did fully heal from the other one so it's effecting me and my current relationship to the point where I don't really want to be in one right now however she is now pregnant so I feel kind of obligated to do so. Not only that it gets worse she also works with me as well and she lives with me but her name is not on the lease. A part of me wants to break up and just take responsibility and pay child support the other part of me just wants to gut it out despite my own unhappiness.
  10. I was with my EX for nearly 4 years. I was her slave. I did everything she wanted. She abused me mentally emotionally physically and verbally. I cant stress how extreme the abouse was. She would be nice in public In front of her friends and times yell at me in public and she loved hurting me. She is really good at acting she is really good at faking. Even though i got some video on recording. She made something up on video so I wouldn't be able to use the recording. We use to not live together, so I paid child support then we moved in (i paid child support firectly for the baby) and I thought that I didn't need to pay. We both worked, but after living together for 8 months it was to much for me and I finally had the courage to leave. Now I get a bill of 3500 and my passport is being denied i cant leave the country. Even after i left i got things for the baby. When I left the baby wasint with her, her step mom took care of my son, and I asked her that we need to go to court and cancel child support or we will both need to pay togeter. A day later I find out that she took the baby and went back to the shelter. I emotionally cant deal with this. I dojt trust her with the baby. And I definitely dont want to pay her directly as I dont trust her. And I paid child support till now. Now I dont want to help at all and I just want to figure out how I can figure this out in court and hopefully take the baby when I am more settled financially. Can anyone give advice? Its usually the men who abuse in relationships but in here it's the women who was extremely abusive and I dont know if the court will see my side I am afraid of even going to court or to ask her to come with me I will feel she will use this against me somehow.
  11. Hi everyone, I'm curious to know if anyone could help me. Ok, so I filled for child support. I went to see and attorney, I liked him he was straight forward and he seemed to go guide me in the right direction. He said I would just apply for child support on my own and if my ex (kids father) wanted to do custody battle or just fight me to hire him and he would help me. First of, my ex, yeah he's not the type to go out of his way to go get information, fill out paper work and just deal with things of that sort. When we were together he did pay child support and I would tell him to do something about getting visitations to cut down his child support payment. Also I would think ahead and would want to eventually incorporate his daughter to our family( at the time when I thought he wanted to even be with me) Anyways he would put it off or say he didn't want to talk about it or deal with it at the time. Now, I filled for child support, I'm waiting to get a response. My concerns: How long does it actually take for him to get notifilled that I filled? Should I still allow for him to take our kids for couple of hours during the week? ( he does mention he's tired and he feels sleepy since he wakes up early for work 3am) but he still would take our kids I am concerned because he drives with them to his "home" with the chick he lives with. He picks them up after 3pm and drop them off at 8pm. Last time I let him see them was almost two weeks ago. Should I mention I filled? Because he does do payments to the car I drive(under both our names but I pay insurance on it) would that count as child support? One attorney said it does not but one i spoke over the phone said it would be considered child support because I'm driving it. I'm actually nervous to know what is his reaction going to be, like call me and just cuss me out? Run away? Come and look for me and just go off? How should I handle things like tell him? Not tell him? Continue letting him take our kids with out knowing the living conditionshe's in that could be a danger to our kids. Would he go away and take them with him? Just a lot of things go through my mind, I am scared of the future/unknown. What if I did the wrong thing? What if this backfires on me? In the past I did text him if he wanted custody of our kids because at the moment of my emotions I would feel I wouldn't bee good enough to take care of them. But I've kept strong and handle my mommy duties as best I can, even if I cry at times and my oldest tells me to not cry that everything will be alright and tells me she loves me and kisses me. Sorry if its too much, I'm just asking how someone else has handled this type is situation.
  12. I thought I was finished with court, but no I was served today for a court date on Fri. I am so angry with my ex I could just spit nails. Some recent background info... After the divorce was final, he stopped paying child support(because he lost his job-his own doing but I can''t prove it) I had him brought up in court and finally after 4 months of none got it through the state. When we finally got to court with this item the judge only made him pay $500 of the $2500 he was in arrears and lowered his payments by $300 a month. I have $20.00 left at the end of the month. In the meantime-he files to have custody changes for him to get the kids 50% of the time-1week at his house & 1 week at mine. I petition to have a guardian ad litem appointed for the kids, we went to court on this on the 31st of Jan. The judge ruled that visitation/custody would remain the same, except for the fact that he now gets the boys only 1 week a month in the summer instead of every other week. My doing because he has no vacation with his new job and I don't want my children left alone. I believe that he filed this to not pay child support ( and the lawyers actually think this also-mine & the boys). SO now this, he is trying to get me on not following a court order for not calling him and offering him the boys every time I have to work late. I currently have another family living with me waiting for their house to be completed so on the nights I have to work late they watch the kids so the boys could be in their home in their beds etc... While I realize it is all about control I can NOT afford to keep running back to court because of his need to control my life. I keep thinking I'm finished with him-I can handle it as a business arrrangement and then he just keeps pulling this crap over and over. I AM TIRED:sad:
  13. Does anyone have any experience or advise on this issue? Re-Cap - - > My bf dated a girl for 3 weeks last March. They split. She informed him she was pregnant. During the pregnancy, he went to some appt's/ultrasounds but it was limited contact for the most part. He went to the hospital for his daughters birth. Proceeded to visit his daughter at his ex's house since she was born. He had a paternity test and received results early January. He had his first attorney appointment last week. The attorney basically stated that "since his daughter is an illegitimate child, he has no rights" and that he should take advantage of the time his ex is allowing him to spend with her. He's offered child support and attempted to discuss it with his ex for weeks. She refused. Anyhow, apparently she has accepted that they are not getting back together (something he's been trying to make clear for weeks but she was unwilling to accept.) This morning she called and told him he needs to start paying X amount of child support. Fine. Biggest issue - she is not allowing him time with his daughter now. Her mom has their daughter most of the time (since his ex is back to work,) and his ex has basically stated that he'll get very little time with his daughter. Going back to the attorneys words... "you have no rights.." Does anyone have experience with this? I just can't fathom him having no rights to his daughter just because she was born out of wedlock. Anyone?
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