shikashika

i still think you should go... I really liked what you said about 'it tkaes more energy to be angry' I fully agree with that. The world is too full of hate and anger to hold grudges. Even if someone treated your poorly, you will always be the better person for not acting angrily towards them

go if you want to... sounds like you do!

also... just to add the part about him buying jewelry every week... that would make me wonder and be turned off... I love jewelry... call me cynical... but I'd start to get suspicious.. loving, kind is one thing.. but buying my affection??? no thanks how old is he?

Hmnnn... it seems like right now this is too much on your mind... amd you shouldn't be marrying someone if you feel like this. And this is only my opinion and what *I* would do... but i would never get involved with a guy like that with that much baggage, especially when you are only 20 years old... no matter how nice, chivalrous etc he is there is NO way that would be the kind of guy I'd want to take home to mum based on his past life. Agreed, people change, whats in the past is in the past... but I know i personally, would not want that much baggage in my life And at only 20 years old... However, you are not me... and I am not you... as everyone else has said you have to do whats right for YOU Good luck!

I agree with everyone else... its just words... the relationship DID end... and both of you are a part of it so in a sense, she is right in that 'we' ended the relationship. I understand how you feel.. my ex said a similar thing to me and it got under my skin try not to let it bother you!

you know what? Sometimes I think arranged marriages are the way to go.. because you HAVE to learn how to work on things

I agree with you, I'm that girl.. I think i'm pretty open minded when to comes to most things in a relationship... it has nothing to do with sex for me.. ( i think I'm pretty open minded about that part... ha ha) I also agree with the fact that its all about playing house... its like saying' I don't quite know if I like you.. lets play for a bit.. it also tells me that if someone just wants to test the waters and then back out if they have that option, then they really aren't too sure anyway. it also tells me a lot the person's idea of commitment and sticking with things when the going gets tough.. It is saying "I want the option of backing out' There are things that are going to happen in ANY marriage that will make the person want to leave. I think, the kind of person that wants to test things out first doesn't want to have to stick with plans or learn to compromise or learn to deal with the other differences. In any marriage, no matter how much love and compatiblity and the abity to work things out there is.... there are going to be times when its very tough... In the marriages that last, people know they have to work with those 'annoying things'.. thats what marriage is about, in my opinion, learnging HOW to work with those differences.. not deciding if you're going to leave or not. if there any doubts, (which obviously people have as they want to test it out first, or are 'not ready', not quite ready to commit) then I think people should NOT live together first

depends what drugs she takes... some drugs, actually feel like you have more clarity. What upsets you about her escape from reality?... Do you think that would be a fun thing to do together? People want to take these drugs because they enjoy it and enjoy the experience. Its up to you, and I know i can't convince you...but perhaps you feel a little insecure that she's doing something you're not... or you can't connect with her, or share this with her and maybe that upsets you? Are you like that in other aspects of your relationship? Does it upset you if she has friends you do not... or is involved in sports that you are not? Personally, a lot of my interests (non-drug related!!) are my escape from reality... when I read, when I go to the gym, when I ride my bike, when i run... that is my escape from my dready job reality. I still don't believe that doing drugs in any way means something is missing from your relationship or that she doesn't care about you... thats not the way I see it anyway. have you ever thought about trying it just to see if you like it?

i think most of my friends, or people my age were spanked or threatened with or smacked with a wooden spoon when they were little.... and they still love their parents very much Were your mother and sister treated the same way as youw ere?

What did your Father do?

Wait for him... he suggested it... you will know if he really is interested if he calls. If he wants to he will do it....if you call you won't know if he really meant to or not

well maybe she was very very very hurt when you broke up with her. LOTS of people on here and everywhere are still very angry when they were dumped.. especially if, as you say, you didn't do it the right way. do you expect her to just get over it? You can't break up with someone and expect them to behave the way YOU want them to behave. I'm sure the hurt you are feeling now does not even compare to the hurt she felt when you dumped her. I don't think it unusual that she talks to people about how badly she felt when you broke up... We dont' know the full story of whwat actually happened. She could just be being nice to you, because that is what is promoted in all these self-help dating advice manuals... even ENA.... "When you are dumped and you see your ex, try to act as nice and friendly as possible, like every thing is going well in your life" From what you say, the way she is acting is quite normal What makes you more angry? The fact that she is mad at you? sending mixed messages? Do you expect her to like you?

sorry! wasn't trying to start a drugs are good or bad feud...and I agree with your second paragraph...

I don't think doing drugs means something is lacking in the relationship... maybe the person just enjoys it... doesn't mean they like/love thier partner any less. Just because she wants to experiment doesn't mean she doesn't care about being with her man. Personally, if I met a guy who was so adamantly against drugs' just-because-they-are-bad' he wouldn't be for me. We can look at it from HER persepective... why is he so strictly against something when she's just having a little fun now and then?

Diet is the most important aspect of losing fat. Could you separate your workout into two parts of the day? For eg. do your cardio first thing in the morning on an empty stomach.. and do your weight training in the evening. I find it better to do weight training in the evening when I have more strength and have had some food in me.. but make sure to do cardio in the morning. Because of the break you will be able to work harder at the cardio and the weights rather than doing them right after one another. Make sure you are eating 5-6 small meals every day with protein in each meal. Cut out the fruit juices and soft drinks, alcohol... just drink water for a month.. see if there's a difference

It sounds like you are pretty healthy! You know, I know this is no consolation, but when I was a teenager, I did lots and lots of competitive sports, and I ate pretty well too... but I'm smaller know that I'm 29, i was still quite small when I was 16/17(still doing lots of sports and eating well) but am thinner now. Maybe it something to do with hormones.. I will never be the size zero. I'm sure you've heard it before but all our boies are made differently and sounds like you are living a healthy lifestyle than 99% of the population with your 6 times cardio a week and good diet.

its too bad it turned into a screaming match. I do think it was uneccesary considering it was New years... was it more of a issue that you were going out... or that you were screaming at her?

What is your diet like? What is your exercise regime like?

hmnn... people who use drugs aren't neccesarily always addicts. i think, if people just dabble in this and that once in a while and it doesn't affect their relationship or work then it isn't a problem Its a whole other topic, but I think people who use drugs sparingly, whether its weed or coke or e don't really have a problem unless they abuse it. You can find a million pieces of drug-fueled propaganda to tell you 'just say no' and 'drugs are bad'... when a lot of these government funded studies are out to prove( especially with ecstasy) that they're right. I think that some drugs are worse than others like meth or crack.. and I don't mean to offend in anyway, but are you taking all this information just from your father? Of course he is going to have all the information on all the bad things certain drugs can do to you. Problem is I know a lot of drug studies just lump ALL drugs into one category. With the decarte (scientist) study, the scientist that tired to prove that ecstasy causes Parkinson's and brain damge.. everyone started to think that one pill can cause permanent damage... Then later on, he retracted his study , because it turned out he had given METH 9 (not e) to monkeys. People still like to use that as a reason as to why not to do E. I think that if someone has a coke problem or a meth problem or a (insert-drug-of-choice) problem.. its their addictive personality problem... if those drugs weren't there, they may have a gambling problem, or a shopping problem or an obsessive personality problem. What i'm trying to say is that.. I don't think saying 'don't do drugs' is the problem ( if thats what you're trying to tell her) but maybe try and help that side of her that has an addictive or destructive personality, because if the drugs aren't there, something else will be. This is however, only if she has a problem.. Personally I don't see a problem with people wanting to do e or coke or whatever, as long as they can control it. I know plenty of people that dabble now and then, but hold down good jobs, have good relationships with their friends an family. I think far too often, people blame the drug, when a lot of times its something destructive about that person's personally. However, if this is something you cannot deal with and you dont' want to be in a relationship with someone that does these things, and would like to try these things, then tell her... this is not comething you can compromise on. Good luck!

maybe... but sounds like she's doing SOME work they are quite young... maybe just inexperienced.. which isn't a bad thing. magikal.. wh at about telling him " I like it when you do this or when you do that'

I've been with guys who just aren't into it.. there is this myth out there that boys want sex more than girls but in my experience that is not true.. Maybe he's not turned on by what you do? ask him or he could just be a lazy guy who's always had girls do things for him and has never had to put effort in anything in his life

my mum... she knows best !

Is the man's shop able to make the alterations you want? i assume they would. I wouldn't think it would matter if you are lesbian or straight... as long as you're happy with the suit and they get your business!

not offended I just thought since he mentioned it in his post, it may have been one of the 'issues' with the new girl.... I guess not Me, my family and friends have always celebrated birthdays so I may have a skewed view of getting older ( I guess it was the big 3-0 for her... my big 3-0 is coming up soon and maybe i won't be too overjoyed either.. ha ha ha ha ha!!)

it might have scared him off.. not justified, some guys I've dated have been scared off if you talk about ANYTHING half serious. It sounds like something you are really excited about and if you want to be in a relationship where you share everything openly... then you know thats the kind of relationship you want. Maybe his 'weird acting' has nothing to do with this talk. Maybe waiting a bit later would have been a better idea... but no point in looking over your shoulder at whats been said