shikashika

I wouldn't think age would be an issue in your case... lots of people don't start uni or college or training until they are much older than you.. And... even if they started a degree at 18, finished at 21.. they almost always go back at a later age and do another degree, grad degree or something else

totally agree with this too!!! You know, this is a reason why online dating doesn't appeal to me.. A guy could put "My interests are hunting, fishing and hockey" These three things don't really appeal to me. Another guy could write down.. "I love traveling, clubbing, the outdoors (and numerous other things I like!) but he could be a real drip Mr. hunting fishing guy (and these could just be a few of his interests) on the other hand could be the one who captures my soul and makes me laugh.

I totally agree with this!! The amount of guys who's profiles read who say things like "I'm a nice guy..really.. I am. my last girlfriend messed with my head so I don't want someone who will hurt me" Waaa waaa!... booo hoo!!! I read one this morning that said something like this.. "Well because I'm white the reason why I never got a grant for university and why I didn't get my job is because I'm not gay or a minority... so hopefully you won't be that kidn of girl" yeah sign me up! I have never done online dating.. just browsed.. but people definitely do pigeon hole.

good points Raykay.. I just find it odd that i've met a few guys like this recently.. I don't get people who say what they DON'T like... why don't people just say what they DO like... much more beneficial for both parties maybe its just the guys i've met recently

I think that if both of you decide you don't want to be together... then why would you.. But.. i think the reason for so many divorces these days is because people give up when they just don't 'feel like it' anymore.. We are now brought up to believe that if we don't like something... or someone... then we can just quit.

no its normal... LOTS of guys lose their erection

( I guess I'm being just as one-dimensional by making blanket-statements here.. but anyway!) I've been single for a few months now.. and every guy I've met recently seems to pigeon-hole people into categories. It really surprised me.. I know not ALL people are like this.. but ALL of the people I've met recently are... One eg. i was checking out a guy on onlinedating.. and he said "are you ineterested in fashion, music shopping, going out for martinis?... if so you are NOT the girl for me.. However, if you like mountain biking, the outdoors, traveling and sports then you ARE the girl for me" what the...??!!! Can't someone be both? another eg. I was set up by a friend of mine.. She told that guy that I really liked gym running etc. apparently he told her, " oh I like girls who like art and music, not girls who like sports" he ended up 'taking a chance' (god I hate that phrase...so patronising) on me.. and found out that wow.. actually did like going to see his art show.. he even said to me "I'm really confused, Melanie told me that you were really into mountain biking but you seem to be enjoying this gallery...and the band" My last boyfriend was like this. Very "if you like fold music, you don't like makeup, you wear long johns and wear gray socks and birkenstocks' "if you like clubbing, you like spending money on high heel shoes and make up and doing coke of the back of your hand, and spendng money on extravagent resort hotel type vacations" 'If you are the above mentioned fold-festival lover, you like going backpacking and traveling as cheaply as possible' and the list goes on and on. i just seem to be meeting all these guys recently... even friends of mine think like that I KNOW not everyone thinks like that.. but why do so many people? why can't the brownie-guide leader enjoy shopping for manolo blahniks, enjoy back country skiing for 5 days, also gets excited about the clothing sales, enjoy backpacking through India, but then loves sunbathind in St Tropez, enjoys getting together with her book club for afternoon tea and then enjoys a weekend of heli-skiing? It really befuddles me.....

I agree with what you are trying to say but 'telling' someone that you will break up with them or else... is very patronising.. If you truly cared about someone you would hope you would still treat them like an adult despite ( in your and in his opinion) the bad choices she is making

ha ah you have a point... i too look at every little thing boys say to think.. just maybe...just maybe just maybe he could be interested

umm.. ALL my boyfriends have called me a horny little toad.. I don't get where this myth came from ... or why women... or men wouldn't like having sex with someone. especially when they are sleeping next to each other.

ok I like my drugs very rarely once in a while.. but heroin and crack?!?!?... it might be a bit hypocritical... but there ARE some drugs which are worse than others.. and those too are the worst (and meth!) would never touch those... if you do love her.. can you help her?

i think if the issue is her doing drugs and you not approving... it is a totally different issue if you are giving her an ultimatum or she just likes drugs and you don't Plenty of couples like letting loose once in a while on drugs.. Sometimes its awesome doing something like that with your partner.. \ If however that is not your thing..and it it is hers.. I'd see it would be difficult for your personalities to mesh

you could just say, 'thanks I'm flattered but not interested' easier said than done I know

What do you mean? Has she said that? or does your girlfriend like to do drugs and you don't?... and you don't understand why she does?

you say only 3 or 4? Give it time.. hopefully something will come of it is she being picky with her job search? What size of town/city do you live in?

I don't think the fact that she talked about her new boyfriend was very nice... but if you want to be friends with her, you'll have to consider whether its worth the big effort on your part... is it?

It sounds like you care more about your ex than the new guy... why don't you see what your ex wants? It could help....

no I never experiences anything quite what you described! Well.. i'm a girl so I guess I couldn't technically have a swordfight I did a bit of 'messing around' kissing blowjobs, handjobs before sex.. but not too much.. Most of my sexual experiences have been actual sex! was this only one friend? did you talk about this to your other friends?

agreed.. yes Luke, you made a bad decision.. but instead.. why not focus on a job that will at least give you some guaranteed money, unlike Real Esate where it is all 100% commission.. even if the job does not pay that well.. at least its enough money to give your parents just a little amount like 200-300$ per month... and save up to move out with roommates?

I agree... DON'T say its because of pot... some other girl could find it a coold and groovy thing they would do together...andanother girl may like his touchy feely-ness DON'T say you're busy or drying your hair, or going to your grandmother's funeral or any other lame excuse... When he calls... just tell him you're not interested.. be polite and firm. maybe he was just one of those guys who says "i'll calll you"... when he never intends to anyway If he picks that option, then you don't have to worry about anything!

agreed... Luke... do you have any single siblings? WHat about living with them?

I agree.. independence is a virtue... but for eg.. the guy I mentioned in my previous post.. who just moved back with the rents temporarily... this guy is more independent and has more guts than most guys I know who might have their own houses... but are wimps when it comes to the big bad world! I don't think whether you live on your own or not means you are- unindependent.. in some cases... yes... in some caes no... Unfortunately, i think in Luke's case, he would benefit greatly from moving out.. but the guy (John), I just met... is way more independent than lots of guys I know (and waaaay more interesting) just because he is lviving with his parents temporarily For 90% of caes Battya I agree with you.. I just think there are more than a few cases... where the person( like the guy I just met) and his living arrangements are not a true indicator of how independent he is Then again this guy splits the mortgage three ways with his parents... as do most adult 'kids' who have moved back in temporarily... actually ALL. I moved back with my parents for 3 months when i came back from traveling when I was 27... but I wouldn't have wanted some guy to think I was un-independent because of that!

Completely agree with you Carnelian.. However... I do think we live in a very must-have-home-and-savings-as soon as possible society. we tend to judge people on what they HAVE rather than how they are.. I would still rather have someone judge me or like me .. or dislike me based on my character... NOT what I own, or what I have. For eg.. I met a guy recently who is 30... but was living in China for 3 years.. and then spent two years working in Brazil worked somewhere else then spent 6 months cycling through Europe. now he is back here... and living with his parents for 6 months to save up a bit of money before he finds a place. this guy.. I'm attracted to because of the things he's done... I know he has plans to move out of his parents place within the next 6 months.... and its quite clear he's indpendent Last week a friend of mine tried to set me up with a guy from her boyfriend's work. This guy has a house, good car, savings.. lived on his own since he was 17... but has spent his entire twenties saving and buying things... sure ... thats great.. but I know which guy I'd pick... 100% I go for guy #1 Guy #2 has done nothing but buy things... I know that when they were trying to set me up they told me "He's a great guy.. has a house, is buying more property as an investment... had a great job with benefits' Although guy #2 seems more like an adult... for me.. guy #1 is waaaaaay more appealing to me ( even though he is back with the rents for a year to save up a bit) i think its different if someone has NEVER left the nest.. but I wouldn't neccesarily cast someone off my list just because they live with their parents... I know lots of people who have had to move back for short periods of time.... if they weren't paying any rent to their parents... then I think thats an entirely different story..... I hope Luke is at least contributing to his family's living expenses. Also, someone else said culture has a lot to do with it.. very true.. I know lots of people with a Southern European background who stay at home longer.. this could be another thread topic.. but is it really so bad to live with your family??... why is it so ingrained in us to move away from the people closest to us.. and that shows that we are more like adults? (I'm guilty of this too.. I don't even like having roommates! I LOVE living alone..) but it seems more and more common now for people who have been away to come back and live with the family temporarily in their late twenties/ thirties

its not girls its that girl... one that shouldn't be dating anyone if she is cheating on them