naranja

Thanks everyone for the responses. My ex and I talked. It turns out that he was worried about me because he thought I looked upset when I was at university. He probably saw me one day when I had been crying due to several reasons. I miss having someone in my life that I love. I just said I was doing OK, thanks for calling, then we pretty much hung up. It hurts to know that he cares. The problems with the new guy kinda started because there are a few things about him that get under my skin (the way he dresses and a strange way of talking that he has) and I know these are superficial so I can overlook them - to a point....but then this weekend he started getting all commitment-ish on me and I started to feel kind of repulsed by him. This combined with the fact that he met all my friends this weekend and they said "he's nice but you can do better" really started me thinking whether to forget him or not. I am completely NOT used to dating guys that I'm not 100% completely in love with. I've never really "dated" anyone.....I've only pretty much had boyfriends. Because I've never dated anyone I thought this is a good chance for me to at least give it a try. Lately I've been thinking that if I wait awhile (could be months, years) I'll meet someone that I really think is attractive. That's my old way of doing things.

So my ex calls and leaves a message on my phone.....saying that he got this feeling that he should call me. We broke up at the beginning of December (2.5yr long relationship), pretty much by him forcing me to break up with him. I try to stay away from him, do not call him, have had pretty good NC except that once in awhile I see him at the university we go to or at parties (we live in a smallish city). I'm seeing someone new I don't really feel all that into. I was at a bar with this new guy on the weekend and I'm pretty sure my ex saw me with him. I'm not sure if this is why he's calling??? Jealousy? But anyways, it makes me sooo sad that he might want to talk to me, I mean, it is heartbreaking for me to imagine that he actually CARES about me in some way, I've been trying to forget about him...I know he still wants to be friends, but I can't be friends with him because I'm in love with him still.....and getting back together won't work either, and it really hurts me to imagine that he MIGHT want to get back together.....and then I'll be more hurt when I talk to him and he just wants something of his that's at my place or something. I guess I just needed to vent. I feel extremely anxious about this, I don't know if I should return his call. I don't know what he'll want. Help!!!!

Join one new interesting club. I joined a drama group and it made me feel a lot better. Impossible to think about other stuff when trying to memorize lines and laughing at all the ridiculous stuff people do during improv nights! Do a few nice things for other people - without them or anyone else finding out that you did it. Pray for your ex - it helps the pain go away inside you too.

Luckily for me I'm just out of a relationship....but where do I find this? In some ways, I also imagine that I'd enjoy being submissive in other areas of life as well, not just the sex. I could imagine that being very very sexy.

Ok, so I am only now realizing, at the age of 27, that I love the idea of submission. I love the idea of being weak and helpless. In my normal day to day life I'm in control of things and powerful....things have always been like this. At times I've thought that I have too much control. As a child I used to fantasize about getting hurt and then someone would have to take complete care of me. Anyways, I have noticed that when I feel sick I get horny, probably because of the weakness thing. I'm wondering what I should do about this? Tis so strange....

Some people say that relationships can start slowly, and they don't feel much for the person at the beginning, and then over time they fall in love. I've always had this idea that I should be passionately in love with the person at the beginning or I don't start the relationship, but I think I choose the wrong guys (ie don't like to commit). So....there is this nice guy who likes me, but I'm not sure if I like him or not. I mean, he seems like a good guy, responsible, intelligent, good looking, has the same goals as I do...logically a good catch. If I could fall in love with him, I could see my life working out extremely well. But I don't feel a huge attraction or major interest in him. Should I wait a few months and see what happens? Or should I wait to find someone who really sparks my interest? I'm completely inexperienced with the 'slow burn' idea in relationships.... I need advice!

Well, there is a nice guy that is interested in me at the moment, but I feel automatically not interested. I hate this because I don't want to be alone, but this block is REALLY screwing me up! It seems that I am cool with the attraction thing winding down slowly then settling into something calm and comfortable, but I can't just jump right in to calm and comfortable even though that is what I really want. I'm glad that I'm not alone at least, but....I really wish there was something I could DO about this. Is there anyone else out there who USED to be like this, but changed? I'm 27, not getting any younger.

Hello, My boyfriend and I just recently broke up. We went out for 2.5 yrs and had a very intense relationship. Unfortunately it was never going anywhere, even from the start. I loved him but he never really loved me and the entire time always spoke about breaking up in the future. So, now that we are broken up I'm happy to be rid of that, but I'm having problems.....I'm only attracted to guys who aren't really into me. Even in the past, the only guys I've ever really "loved" are guys I who weren't into me. There are lots of nice guys who are attracted to me, but I'm just not into them. Why is this? And it's not just since my last boyfriend, ALL my relationships have been like this. If there's a guy I'm attracted to and he suddenly becomes devoted or solidly committed to me I suddenly feel unattracted to him. GAH! I have to stop this. Does anyone know what could be the cause of this? Should I get therapy? If so, what kind? Are there any books I should read?? I really really want to love someone...someone who loves me back!!! I appreciate any advice any of you have.... Naranja