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shikashika

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Everything posted by shikashika

  1. shikashika
    laboheme is right... it has nothing to do with weight.. more like body fat %. You cannot spot reduce. The first place you put it on (in your case, your belly) is the LAST place you will take it off. The most important thing to look at is your diet. What does your diet look right now? What is your fitness level like? You don't need to buy a machine.. they are expensive and you can do many things for free. As i said most important thing is DIET.. just because you go to your exercise class doesn't mean you can come home and chow down on some pad thai and have a couple pints of guiness. For optimum fat loss, Can you doa 1/2 hour session in the morning before work/school before eating? its best to do some type or cardio exercise where you get your heart rate up for short periods of time... For eg.. if you are running, start off with a 15 minute job/light run then try and sprint one lampost , jog the next, and repeat 10 times. I would aim to do this 3-4 times per week. ( I don't know what level you are at already) Try and do it in the mornings. If you can, try and do some weights exercises 3 evenings a week as well.. working different body parts each time.. Its important to do weights, as the more muscle you have, the easier it is to lose fat while you are resting. Try and do something like yoga or pilates once a week. Also, try and eat 5-6 small meals a day, drink lots and lots of water.. cut out on the fruit juices and fizzy drinks Find an exercise you enjoy,,, if you don't enjoy it it will be harder to motivate yourself to keep doing the exercise on a regular basis. have a reward meal once a week where you eat anything you like... If you try and deny yourself all the time, then you may just give in one day and go too far. If you have any questions, please ask away!
  2. shikashika
    from what you've said, she sounds absolutely ridiculous!! How can you not want your loved one to be in a job they enjoy! I think thats most people want... to get paid for something they love. Even if photography does not interest her I don't understand why it bothers her if its something YOU enjoy doing. I've dated guys who were accountants and computer nerds.. I would slash my wrists if I had to do those jobs ... I have never thought what my partner does for a living to be any kind of problem (unless he was maybe a hitman or something!) Lastly...i think being a photographer is downright sexy!!!!
  3. shikashika
    well you know her better than we do! All I can say is that sometimes things matter so much more to those of us who have been dumped..Perhaps she wasn't careless...maybe she doesn't give a hoot about those things are because you are broken up and just doesn't want them.. not trying to spite you.. she isn't really thinking at all.. if she ended the relationship.. then she isn't really caring about your feelings much anyway.
  4. shikashika
    yeah... so its the lying more than anything (VERY understandable) i think thats horrible... even if he'd said to you..' hey I'd like to be honest with you you know, I've been with a fair few amount of people, so I'll get tested" or "I have some friends who want to try coke, and I admit, i've tried if a few times" rather than completely lying to you.. liars are no good.. I don't see the point in lying about what he did to you.. if he was at least honest, I'm sure you would have respected him... or at least respected that he was completely honest to you... Its such a blow to the foundation of a relationship when someone lies to you about something that they really never needed to lie about. I know its hard and doesn't really make it better.. but better now you find out he's a liar than when you've made more of a serious commitment!! take care!!
  5. shikashika
    Sorry to hear that! sometimes people do that..(his breaking up with YOU) when you accuse them of things ( even rightly so...a sin your case) the only thing, sadly they know how to do is throw it back at you.. the fact that he did that shows that obviously he KNOWS what he did was wrong... lying to you for a year and a half.. Perhaps he was nervous about what you would think of him if he slept with lots of girls? Did you make statements about people who slept with lots of people as 'slutty' or low moral values?" is the fact that he's experimenting with coke bother you.. or is it more like the straw that broke the camel's back? Is it more the fact that he lied to you9 it would be for me!) or is it both that bother you equally?
  6. shikashika
    I don't know much about yahoo personals.. I would think its something different than being on lavalife or match.ca... online daters.. am I wrong? I thought yahoo personals was more like a myspace, wayn, friendster type of community i could be wrong. when it says active within 24 hours does it just mean he logged on to his personal? I dont' know.. maybe the next time you are on yahoo mesenger with him.. say something like.. "hey I see you have a personal... you meet many friends on there?' actually I don't know.. that might sound kind of lame,
  7. shikashika
    Maybe she wasn't even thinking about those things? Since you were the one who was dumped... those things meant so much more to YOU.. but not to her.. but to her they could be nothing. usually the person who gets dumped starts looking at old restaurant receipts and crying over the last meal shared whereas the dumper sits sobbing over the memories of the last tiramisu they shared together.. The dumper may say "where did we eat again?" and the dumpee will keep the receipt in their treasure box. Anyway, maybe she did none of these things to spite you.. she may have not even thought about it and just thrown stuff in boxes Or, maybe she wants to get rid of all those things because she doesn't want any reminders of you.. who knows.. there are a hundred different reasons we could speculate and none of them could be the truth... If having those things around you bother you that much get rid of them.. Give those things away to someone who could use them (donate the books to a library or ornaments to a homeless shelter or inner city school or someone that could use them.. that way they are out of your hands and someone in need can enjoy them Enjoy your new apartment! living on your own is great... Cooking while naked is so much fun!
  8. shikashika
    I don't think being clingy is ever a good thing... it means that you need to rely on someone else for your happiness... one needs to learn how to be happy by themselves as well... no matter how much I loved someone, and I think this is true in almost everyone I know... no one wants to spend as much time as possible with someone they love.. its like being strangled.. and you will only push your lover / partner further and further away
  9. shikashika
    Every thing you've written here makes me say ... again... please drop any idea of meeting up with this guy in two years. yes 2 years is bad!!! waiting 2 years for a guy that may or may not be the person you think he is?! being clingy isn't good in any relationship it sounds like you are settling by saying 'non one else would ever accept you I suspect that he sees this and is just telling you all these things because you are very open about your insecurity. I also suspect what the other poster said... this guy could just be doing this to you as a cruel mean joke... Pleae I beg you... stop... its painful to read your responses... I really don't think its a healthy situation for anyone!
  10. shikashika
    check before you think how bad it can get... one of the major things you should do before you move to a country!!! unless you are highly skilled then its very hard for Americans to get a visa.. if you were a member of a Commonwealth.. which you aren't then you could get a one year (extended to two years if you do three months of agricutural work) if you are under 26 and an American then you MAY be able to get a 4 month visa IF you pay a bunch of money and have a job set up before hand. I know people who have tried to get common law visa and its not so hard don't be so sure its not that hard. i really don't understand why you woud be looking at moving to a foregn country where you don't have the visa requirements... wouldn't that be one of the first things you would look at?
  11. shikashika
    I just see not red flags but BLACK flags all over the place... When he says " I didn't shower for a week and never left the house'?!?!?!... shouldn't that tell you something I know I haven't talked to him but from what you've written, it sounds like you would do much better meeting someone who you can actually meet. What has him being a twin got to do with anything? It sounds like you are making excuses for him... he can't leave his twin for a few weeks!?!? What does that say about him if he can't leave his twin? What does that say about a 'man' like that? I know plenty of twins who travel! Ok, you may not have found Mr. right yet, but it doesn't men you won't. Would you want to be with a guy who would pay for some girl he'd never met to fly halfway around the world for a couple of weeks. In your last post you make it sound like there is nothing keeping you where you are , in the US you make it sound like you would pack up and move over there. If you did, do you know about the visa requirements of an American living in Australia? Please!! find someone else!
  12. shikashika
    is she saying it tastes bad before you cum? or after? maybe you just need a bit of a wash if its pre-cum!.. or if she is inexperiences in giving blowjobs, maybe she is just not used to the scent...there is usually a bit of one.. even if the guy is clean... is she just shoving it in and out? There are many other things that can be nice in a blowjobmaybe thats what making her gag.. what do YOU like? do you like having your balls licked too? Has she had much experience with blowjobs?
  13. shikashika
    I think the email was fine... but don't bring it up too often.. or try and apologise again and again.. otherwise he may think you are trying to hide something
  14. shikashika
    Please don't take this the wrong way but you say you chat all day? i like chatting being on the internet ( more than is healthy, probably!) but wouldn't you like to actually be talking to someone in person? Wouldn't it be so much better if you could be going out for lunch, going to museums, going for bike ride, spending evenings cuddled up watching movies, or whatever it is you like to do with a boy than tapping on a keyboard? Do you think perhaps part of the reason you think you like him so much is because there is that mystique to the foreign man you have never met before? he told you clearly that he would have chosen another woman over you.. What do you think about keeping your FRIENDSHIP with this guy... but keep you mind and eyes out for other guys that live in your city? Have you ever been to Australia? What makes you think you'll meet up in 2 years. I lived in Sydney for a bit, and am now back in Canada, and i do miss my friends there.. and it is hard to think that not only are we in different countries, but two different hemispheres... I'm about as far apart from them as two people can get.... (and a 2000$ plane ticket) As much as I'd love to think I will be able to go back and visit.. its just not that easy. Much harder (and way more expensive)than getting to Europe. Would you be planning to visit him in Australia, or would he come here? Even if you were to meet up in 2 years, you may be 2 very different people by then things could be different. While I'm still concerned about the distance between you to ( even if you did 'meet' for how long... both of you would have to go back after a couple of weeks) I'm even more concerned about the fact that you say you spend all day talking to him, while he has told you bluntly that he wouldn't choose you and doesn't want a relationship with someone he can't see! with him telling you how all your problems weren't your fault (and I'm not saying they were) he is telling you EXACTLY what you want to hear. perhaps this is why you have fallen for him. I really hope you meet someone that you can actually meet in person!
  15. shikashika
    I agree with redding.. if she says on her myspace that she is having troubles with 'love' then quite clearly that is something to do with her boyfriend (your friend) If you begin to be her confidente then he WILL come up in your therapy sessions. Should your friend find out... you may find your friend drawer bit emptier. If I found out that my boyfriend was telling his problems to my girl friend I would be upset... at both of them. If this girl is alrady having problems in her life.. you don't want to create more.
  16. shikashika
    ok.. you won't even meet the guy for 1-2 years in real life??.. what are you waiting for? find someone else... someone you can actually meet in person in the next 24 months.. It makes no sense to me how he can call you two 'friends with benefits' when you haven't even met yet... what kind of benefit is that? Maybe its just me, but I don't see the point of online dating if you can't even meet the person. I think you should try and meet people that you can actually MEET. it sounds like this guy is just bored and having a little online fun and saying things like that just for the fun of it.... this is what it sounds like to me i have to admit I don't know anything about online dating.. so I dont' really understand the strong feelings when you've never met someone. Please dont' wait around 2 years for him' just in case'
  17. shikashika
    Does her boyfriend know about her problems? Even if you are only trying to help... he MAY become jealous that you are spending a lot of time together 'talking' Do you only know about her troubles from her myspace.. I'm not very familiar with myspace but, but perhaps if you are on it too.. you could drop her a message saying something like ' hey hope things are going well with you , feel free to contact me if you need a chat' would you say you are on 'good friends' terms with her... good enough friends that you can say things like that to her? If not.. she may think its strange that you barely know her, but then want to talk to her about her troubles. Even though you say you don't want to steal her away... do you think that possibly the only reason you do want to help her is because you had/have more-than-friends feelings for her? I doubt you would have the same urge to help her if you only though of her as a buddy/aquaintance... What do you think?
  18. shikashika
    I think its a good idea to do it for a while at the start.. and it WAS a big struggle for me...(just take a look at all my threads started by me! ha ha ha/... i was a blubbering mess) but i felt that every day i would go to bed with wet eyes thinking how hard it was for me to NOT talk to my ex. I'm naturally a very chatty person who knows a lot of people. I think one can NEVER lose as long as they are nice and kind.... I've read here on enotalone that then your ex will see you as this or that.. but really if your ex is going to think less of you because you are civil and friendly?!!?!? I actually feel much better having talked to him.. Who knows... maybe its just time as well. This may sound a bit far fetched and melodramatic..l. but this is why I began thinking of breaking NC.. I had been talking to a friend of mine... who had found out recently that a woman she used to work with (who she couldn't stand) had.. within 3 months .. been diagnosed with throat cancer, and was know lying in the hospital with a big tube down her throat , tongue removed and about 6 weeks to live. I know that sounds over the top... but i don't want to have anyone leave with me not being on speaking terms with them. I'm not the kind of person who can just 'forget about things' or 'let them go' Other people can do that.. and I think it can be a very good quality too, but I can't just think of my ex as someone who I never never never never talked to ever ever again.. as much as he was a silly boy for dumping me.. I can't hate him. I don't think going NC with an ex neccesarily means you have a problem within and I fully understand its to help heal us as well.. but I think, too often, NC is like the word of the prophet on here... it may be wonderful for some people ( and I think beneficial for many many people, especially at first) but i think for some people (with personalities like mine!) it can be good to talk to them as well.
  19. shikashika
    Are you more miserable because you broke NC, though.. or because of other factors? I just think NC is touted so much here on ENA..and its NOt always for the best. in many cases, yes... i think its so we don't say something stupid like ' I love I I love you I love you ...i can chagne really I can give me another change boo hoo sob sob" but sometimes breaking it and having a good chat can take a weight off our shoulders.
  20. shikashika
    don't worry about it! From my opinion and recent experience NC is not always the best option... I think its harder to try and ignore the person and try not to call them .. and I actually feel better for having talked to him a bit. NC isn't for everyone
  21. shikashika
    I was giving you my opinon... I did tell you what you had to do..Please don't be defensive just because I told you something you may not like to hear.... I don't think anyone can tell you how you are going to stop thinking about it.. every one of here would deal with it in a different way.. I think its up to YOU to figure out how you're going to either 1. not let it bother you and if you can't.. I think you need to assess whether you can be in the relationship or not You can't change the past. I think it will take a lot of work on your part..but it probably took a lot of work on his part to take you back as well... I know i wouldn't go back to someone who dropped me, no matter how much they told me they loved me.. good luck!
  22. shikashika
    I couldn't go back to a cheater... You are young... if you had years and years of marriage together or children and he came back begging and pleading and really really really wanted to work things out... and you were prepared to take him back.. and accept that maybe both of you ahd struggles in your life at the time and both of you wanted to work on it together.. then MAYBE but in your case? no way!!!! you are young, move on .. find someone who respects you! If you take him back it says a lot about you and that you accept that kind of behaviour I hope you find someone better!
  23. shikashika
    no its not wrong! its normal to want boys/girls to 'want you ' or to 'check you out'.. why do you think this is? why is it so important for people you odn't even know to 'want' you? it is normal however... I think everyone wants the others to think they are hot.. everyone likes compliments
  24. shikashika
    he had every right to go and sleep with as many people as he wanted when YOU broke up with him...and he shouldn't have had to justify it to you He didn't ruing anything.. YOU broke up with him.. since you were the one that did this its YOU thats going to have to figure out a way to on how you can live with this and him... if you can't.. then don't stay with someone do you think you hate it so much , because its partly your doing? meaning that if you hadn't broken up with him, then he never would have slept with someone else?
  25. shikashika
    sounds very insecure... what is it about him that you like?
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