shikashika

I totally agree with this.. excuses like "he didn't know he was supposed to" are a complete cop-out... Is this guy over 5 years old? His girlfriend shouldn't have to TELL him or ASK him to celebrate.. It sounds like a guy who is so into himself that he can't even think about doing this for someone else???!!!! why should this need to be explained to him? and... if you have to tell him to get you something... do you really want a guy who is not capable of going and getting his girlfriend something... or even making a CARD for Valentines' day?!?! I sure wouldn't he shoulddn't be doing these things because she asks him to.. he should do them by thinking with his own little head. And if.. you want a guy who can think about other people (you!) then I say he doesn't sound liek the guy for you. True, maybe his ex girlfriends didn't care either... but obviously he doesn't either... if he wanted to do it enough.. he wouldn't need a girl to tell him to do it

ugh... I had someone break up with me on my lunch hour too! Takes real class and respect to do that don't speak to him again... he's had 7 chances... you are still young and ahve a whole life ahead of you.. go out and enjoy it!

in regards to the guy / girl thing... I haev met ONe guy who was a vegetarian... all the others have been girls... Maybe the girls are more disgusted by 'icky' things?? I dont' know... bring on the sausages!!!

Who decided to break up with you? If it was her... and she wants' to work on being friends while broken up'... no nice way to say this but that is such a bunch of crudy-poo!!!!!' she is giving you very mixed messages if she sends you a message like that but wants to be 'just friends'

If you have to have a discussion about this... then I think there is a problem... ok.. maybe he doesn't know he's supposed to care or buy you anything.. but I don't think i personally would want to be with a guy like that

yeah of course those things happen all the time Most people I know have had a one night stand.. experimented etc etc... and those are all my square friends.. ha ha ha ha.. No seriously.. my friends who have had threesomes, hooked up with randoms at a party etc etc are elementary school teachers, mothers and fathers and accountants. I'd say its much more common than you think and done by the people who you expect it the least from

I wouldn't like it.. even if I really liked the guy... seems a bit over the top and cheesy.. but thats just me.. maybe!

yeah... all the people i know who were successful in high school are pretty successful now... so i think its an odd statement to make.. I graduated from high school 12 years ago.. and I don't know anyone or know of anyone that is shining shoes.. In fact the 'nerds' ( although I HATE categorisign people like this) are the ones who never went on to any higher education and haven't done as much for themselves as others have. Usualy people who are the 'jocks' are also the same people who are the academic achievers, the ones who volunteer the most .. the ones who the the most varied lives actually.. Sounds like somone is just bitter!

ok.. what has nice guys finish last got to do with this? Really.. I'm curious.. who is the nice guy? If a girl doesn't like you (and if a guy doesn't like a girl) its not because they are nice No one says "I don't like billy-bob because he is nice, its something else about them that they don't like Girls and guys, please.. stop with the 'no one likes me because I'm too nice" its not THAT.. its something else? Do you feel you are nicer than this other person?

Hi kate, I remember reading your original thread... you are right.. it IS depressing..and no matter how many people tell you "it ill be ok'.. or "you will find someone better" it doesn't help does it... Time is the only thing that can help... all I can say is that I've been there.. and I know no one can say anything to make you feel better... I know one of my problems was that I anlaysed the breakup to death.. to the point where I couldn't even think straight anymore Have you had any turnign points since your breakup?

I agree... its a total lack of respect when they can't tell you

some people just aren't academic... or don't do well on standardised tests... doesn't mean in any way they are not intelligent or smart. I hated at university how we had so many exams, tests .. even multiple choice tests... for the first two years of university my grades were not that good, because a lot of the junior level courses consisted of two midterm and one final exam.. even though I studied I did very mediocre on the exams.. when it got the higher level ones where I got to give a talk for an hour or do projects and presentations... my marks shot up sky high... its just the kind of learner I am.. Personally I don't think tests are any indication of how intelligent a person is... maybe you just have to find a place where its suited to your learning style? My brother is great at taking exams... and would be petrified to have to do a presentation to 300 people whereas I love it! What is it that interests you? In whjat environment do you feel the most comfortable? For the record.. I'm nearly 30 and I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up...was talking about this with my mum the other day.. and neither does she... even though she's turning 60!

hardest part about this is ... and I see this far too often on ENA...and in real life.. most of the time, when we are dumped.. we never know the reason.. thats what happened to me.. and even if our ex gave us a reason... it just seems like something they said because they didn't want to give us the real answer or they didn't know themselves and wanted to make up one i think this is one of the things that I've struggled with most in all of my failed relationships...why?..why?..why?..why?..why?..why?..why?..why?.. and I never found out why

I've wondered the same as you when I've been dumped or rejected... but when I've been the dumper... i've never ever had any regrets... in fact it was a sigh of relief when I realised I no longer had to be attached to that particular person anymore. Although he was a good person, sex was good .. attractive... etc etc... i didn't miss him at all.. adn that was after a long term relationship

He is in no way replusive or even unattractive.. just kind a bit too chubby for my liking.. eventhough most people would think he is not chubby at all!! he is qutie active... I've just always been with fit guys.. Maybe its somethng else about his personality that I dont' like either.. I don't know.. I analyse far too much!!

yeah i dont' hat that much spare cash... I never actually thought of NOT staying with him.. I've traveled with plenty of male friends where we hung out in our underwear and shared beds and nothing happened I think I would feel even weirder if I stayed in a hotel... just my opinion.. I just dont' know why I'm not attracted to him... or don't know if I could be!

do you want to work in your field? There are plenty of jobs.. just not sure if you need something in your field or no.. Plenty of the volunteer jobs in third world countries pay a stipend to get you by.. Depends if you want to include this on your resume... or if you want it to be career related

I agree... the guys I've been the most in love with.. I wasn't attracted to at the beginning... only thing is.. he is the only friend I have in Vancouver... hmnnn...

hey caro, I think we have a mental connection.. just not in a lover type of way He is not an unattractive guy... he has a sweet smile..just don't' know if I want to kiss him or sleep with him... I only actually saw him in person for a few days... and I feel like I've gotten to know him much better now.... but at that time I was thinking of hooking up with nobody ( and only thinking of my ex!) Other guys have 'grown on me' for lack of a better word... so I guess...maybe he could... he just has so much of what I'm looking for I don't want to pass it by.. but I also don't want to mess with him and 'try him out for a while'.. because I think thats just playing with someone

yeah.. I would have to go purposely to see him... but even if I didn't know about his feelings towards me.. I would still want to go because I think we would have so much fun together... and Vancouver is a fun place to visit for a weekend trip... I really really like him..in all honesty he's one of the neatest people I've ever met.. he's interesting, challenges me too.... but you are right.. I'm pretty ambivalent towards him..NOW.. but perhaps that could change if I actually talked to him in person rather than finger tapping on MSN! I just wonder if I'm actually meeting a guy who is good for me.. and I'm going to let it slip away or pass me by .. because as all my other relationships have failed maybe I haven't been looking for the right guys? I'm so indecisive!

Have you ever said to him, "Look I want to have sex with you... do you want to sleep with me?" But then I don't know him.. that kind of 'talk' might push him away even further? With my last boyfriend the first time we had sex... he was really nervous.. and acted really awkward.. but he was fine and fantastic the second time As I said in my earlier post, I've known a ton of male friends who talk the talk ALL the time.. but then they admit to me when they are drunk or something that they are quite scared about it tall too I find its the quiet guys who usually know what they're doing!

Hey annie.. I just read your question to Rhonda....not that it helps mine! but I hope you find your answer! Thing is.. I have never dated this guy.. I met him when I was in Spain... and only for 3 days of my holiday... and the only reason ( and I feel TERRIBLE for this....) that I think I'm not attracted to him is from his photos.... ( I feel like a terrible shallow witch!) but then I have bad photos of me.. and I've dated guys who I didn't have any attraction towards at the beginning... but after a while I found incredibly attractive.. and.. I haven't seen him for 6 months..

Its just speculation... but I find that the people that brag the most about something...are actually quite insecure about that particular thing.. If he seriously bragged about how 'great he was in bed' then I'd seriously wonder if he'd ever slept with anyone at all.. you never know.. I had a good friend talk about sex, talk about it like he was the 'man'... but then he admitted to me once that he'd only slept with 2 or 3 girls... at age 32.. and he was desperately scared of being able to please a woman

About 6 months ago I met a guy when I was overseas. He and I were both on holiday... we met in a different country, but we live in the same country ... about an hour and a half flight away. I had only been dumped by my boyfriend at the time for about 2 weeks, so no way was I even thinking about having a holiday romance. Since my holiday, this guy that I met have been talking for a short time each day on MSN... I think he is a fantastic guy All the the things I complain about 'guys doing this or guys doing that" he doesn't. I've even written posts on here on how hard it is to find a guy who likes all the things I like... and this guy is it! He's told me how he was very attracted to me... and still is. When I used to say" I want this and this and this in a guy..." He has all that! but... I don't feel ANY chemistry at all.. I haven't seen him in 6 months... and we met on holiday so maybe only thinks of me when I was tanned in my summer clothes.. know what I mean by this over-glorified idea of someone? When they may not be like that? But.. as I said, we talk most days.. he says I'm attractive that I challenge him etc etc.. and I really really like him We are thinking of meeting up in the next couple of months.. has anyone ever met someone that they really wished they had more chemistry with? Maybe there could be some... but this guy has... on paper.. everything I want.. and we get along fantastically... why can't I be attracted to him?

for me... no random conversation would not normally work... especially if it was a typical pick-up line... if I thought he was attractive... said something to make me laugh.. I may think about it.. so yeah I guess it could work sometime... but most of the time not.. especially if some random guy in the supermarket says "hey... how you doing... boy these carrots sure don't look as good as last weeks'