MyNameIsWill

as i'm reading your posts, some of it's helpful, and some of it isn't. I expected that, quite honestly. we did date for about a year, it was an interracial relationship and what not. We did talk about marriage and everything else, and I thought she was the person I wanted to be with. However, late in the relationship, I started hearing more about my relationship from my friends than from her. She needed me to validate her every waking minute that I wasn't going to leave her. I'll also admit to that I'm a natural born flirt, but I never touched or went out with any girl at all. Not to mention that I never said anything about how she pissed me off, cause I felt that wasn't what I was supposed to do. I never said 'what your doing is annoying me.' So there was one day that I had it. I broke up with her, or at least I thought I did. Sparing the story of the back and forth that happened, and a suicide attempt by her because of all of this, the only time there was some silence is when I cut off all of my friends and pretty much hid in shame. I didn't care who did what, but it was recommended accross the board that I give her space, even though I felt that I had to defend myself in some way. When I heard about this, the only thing I want to do is confront her, let her know how i feel and tell her to stop. but it's only going to fuel this. I understand she has a right to be upset, but if she's going to hurt the people I care about in the process, I feel that I have suffered enough. But if I confront her, I have to accept the premise that I was wrong, no matter how we both co-contributed to this mess. The other thing which feeds into 'she just wants to hurt me' is the other fear of me breaking up with her, because revenge is one of her core values. she constantly told me in the relationship that "I don't get mad, I get even" and the friends that I cutoff confirmed that she plotted to 'get back at me'. So from the surface, everyone is championing her because she's the 'victim', but it's a petty excuse for her to get back at me. Why do I have to just absorb this or 'be the bigger person'? I've already apologized. But the reception is just vapor if after I apologize I'm still this 'souless jerk'. What rights do I have? Am I supposed to be a whipping post for her hurt feelings just because she feels justified?

I broke up with my girlfriend last year, and it wasn't pretty. I didn't break up with her in the 'right way' and after 6 months of guilt tripping myself, I finally got over it and started dating again, knowing I'm really not ready for a relationship a few months ago, i get a message from a stranger who just met me, and talked with my ex. My ex scared the friend with her 'passion' of how much she hates me. She is STILL pissed off about what happened and volunteers the information to whomever will listen. Not to mention, that when I see her in person, it's all pleasantries, it's almost like we never broke up. I'm tired of this. It's bad enough I still feel guilt about this, but I'm tired of the smiling to my face and stabbing me in the back. It takes all my strength not to confront her because I know all she's going to say is that 'i'm a victim' and go right back to talking crap behind my back. I am very hurt and it's going back and forth to anger. I just need some feedback here.