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sophie274

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Everything posted by sophie274

  1. sophie274
    I would not really care (ex I speak 4 languages fluently, my boyfriend only one). However, I was brought up in a different country (not the US), and half of my family is from that country, so I would insist that my husband speak this language before we had children, since I want us to be able to speak it together. That is pretty important to me.
  2. sophie274
    No I don't find it rude. My boyfriend goes to party with our mutual friends all by himself all the time. Not weird, since I am always asked too but I rarely go because parties are not really my thing. You can't expect women to stop talking to your boyfriend because you and he are going out. I think you need to relax and realize that you can't control other people's actions. Your boyfriend's ex, his friends, girls who may flirt with him ... you can't help it. Have some confidence in the character and love of your boyfriend.
  3. sophie274
    Are you sure she wrote the note (since someone else found it and gave it to you)?
  4. sophie274
    Well, I think it's a fine line, and maybe he has a slightly different perception than you have. But ok, and I keep going back to the same point, does it even matter what his intention was? The fact is, this bothered you, and it's going to keep on bothering you. You say you've told him this behavior is unacceptable, and apparently he's not adhering to the rules, so what are you going to do? Yell at him? Follow him around every time he leaves the house? That's not a way to live. He may treat you better than anyone ever has, but trust me, you will find someone who treats you better.
  5. sophie274
    I think it's hard to say, because we weren't there. Maybe it was nothing and you're being totally paranoid. Maybe it was kind of strange. The reality is though, you're agonizing over this. He told you it was nothing, you think it was something, and honestly you're NEVER going to know. It's a matter of trust, and imagine you life if incidents like this are going to be plaguing you!! He has violated your trust, it seems, beyond repair, so I think you should consider ending the relationship.
  6. sophie274
    Well, I think a bit of friendly/polite flirting with the cashier is ok, even if she is young. You know, the jokey kind of flirting, not the "I want to get in your pants" flirting. I find people in the store, especially in the South, are very friendly, so it doesn't strike me as weird. I am 19 - and have men call me honey in stores all the time, and I don't find it lewd: IMO, they're just being friendly. I just think that this behavior wouldn't concern you, IF you didn't know about all this other stuff with young girls. In light of that, I agree with Hope. Disrespectful, violent, childish boyfriend + no trust = why on earth do you want to date him?
  7. sophie274
    Planned parenthood says abortions in the US cost between 350-700 USD in the first trimester, more than that if you get it done in a hospital. Hope is right, compare that with the cost of condoms (at my university, I get 10 for 3 dollars, or the pill, at my university 6 $/month).
  8. sophie274
    I've been reading your threads, and this is what I think. I find your fiance's behavior as detailed in this post totally normal, not suspicious at all. However, clearly there have been all these incidents with young girls which are making you wonder if there may be more to the story this time. I think you have to decide whether or not you can and do trust him. If you trust him, then you have to stop analyses like this of his behavior, it will do no good whatsoever. However, if you decide you can't trust him, time to walk away. At this point, I think you have more than enough information to make your decision. He has been violent, disrespectful, and you suspect he is flirting in a manner which would not be acceptable to you. Why then, will you not dump him? If you decide to stay with him - and I don't think I would recommend that, you are both quite young and you have not been together that long, I think you deserve better - then you need to trust him. If that is impossible, again, dump him.
  9. sophie274
    Hey I suggest changing your sleep schedule so you go to bed early and get up early (maybe around 7-8 am), so you can go to the library. While you're at the library there will be much fewer distractions, and you can focus better. Also ... just do it. Just write down a sentence, even if it's bad. At this point your papers are so late it would be better to write them. Force yourself to write SOMETHING down.
  10. sophie274
    Exercise should help, too.
  11. sophie274
    Mmm, honestly, I think he's just being nice. Even if he was flirting with you, I would NOT take it to mean that he wants to date you, which would be totally inappropriate. I'm sure you can go to his office hours and talk to him if you want to have him as an older, wise FRIEND, otherwise, I would just drop it.
  12. sophie274
    My congratulations too! You must be so proud and happy to finally hold her in your arms.
  13. sophie274
    Personally I think you're over-reacting. Christmas is a family thing, and I think it's pretty normal that she wants to spend it with her mother, even if they're not doing anything special. I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year (we are both 19) and I would definitely choose to spend Xmas with my family rather than his, just because we have a million and a half mini-traditions that might not seem important to anyone else, but for me, those things we do ARE Christmas, and it would just not feel right doing it differently.
  14. sophie274
    Oh yes also: As RayKay said, the next girl you date may very well decide that you paying for sex is a dealbreaker to her. I know I would not date someone who had paid for sex, no matter what his reasons.
  15. sophie274
    Well, if you are in a relationship, I say do not do this. Here's why: - there are much better ways of getting "better" in bed than sleeping with a prostitute, including experimenting with your girlfriend. - your girlfriend will DEFINITELY be hurt - unless she has given her stamp of approval, which seems to me unlikely. I would find this even worse than having a one-night stand with some random girl, since you went out of your way to have sex. - you and your girlfriend could easily get an STD: will not make your sex life better, could seriously affect your and her health. Oh, and she will definitely know you cheated on her. - if you love your girlfriend, you will feel guilty - if you don't love her, why not just break up with her? If you respect her just one ounce, don't you think she deserves better?
  16. sophie274
    You might not be "aiming" right. I know depending on the angle I put my earrings in, I can hit this wall of skin, so I just re-orient it and it works. But I wear earrings everyday. I would have someone look at it for you, maybe they could tell better what the status is. If it looks closed, I would ask a jewelry shop what they think you should do, but probably I would not just push through the earring - if you are reopening a wound you want to make sure the area is really clean.
  17. sophie274
    I dunno, I mean, it's a text message. It's not like she's showing up at your house with a bottle of wine and mistletoe. A text is not even a call - it's non-invasive, doesn't require an answer ... Maybe she was just up and thought of him and that was that. I have people sent me messages on my birthday, for instance, who I am not in contact with regularly, including an ex: not weird, and if I call to say thanks it's not a sign of me wanting to get back together with him.
  18. sophie274
    I'm really sorry this is happening: what a terrible position to be in. If I were you, I would not get involved. At most, tell your father you found this. But it is your parents' marriage, and I think this is a matter to be resolved between the two of them, and you do not want to be caught up in the middle of this. Both your parents love you no matter what, and I don't think you should "take sides", especially as you do not know the whole story. Not that I'm saying that there could be justification for what your father is doing, but 25 years is a long time to be together, and you don't know what has happened during all of their marriage, nor what they may have agreed to behind closed doors. Maybe your mother even knows about this. Basically, what I am saying in there are a lot of unknowns, and it is not right for a 17 year old to be in the position of organizing a confrontation and brokering a resolution between her parents. I think as their daughter, you should not be involved in the ins and outs of their marriage. I also imagine you must be feeling a lot of resentment towards your father - you may want to talk to someone about this.
  19. sophie274
    link removed Above is a link on anthrax. Honestly, what this "doctor" said sounds like complete BS to me - anthrax causes problems much worse than dizziness and headaches! I also get dizzy quite a bit and get a lot of headaches. If I were you, I would check your blood pressure and make sure you are well hydrated: low BP with dehydration could cause both of these. For my headaches, I was getting worried so I went to see a neurologist who ran some tests on me including an MRI - everything came out fine. A lot of people - or so I'm told - have unexplained headaches. One of the causes can be a protein that is in cheeses/marinated meats/chocolates (forget what it's called), so you could ask your doctor about that and think about phasing things out of your diet. My headaches ended up being stress-related while studying - I hardly ever get them anymore.
  20. sophie274
    Well, you can do whatever you want. For technical safety reasons, you really should wait until both of you have been tested for STIs. What worries me is the line I quoted above - if you do decide to have sex, don't do it because you want to show him you like him! There are plenty of other ways to show appreciation/affection. Basically, have sex because you want to for yourself, not for him. If I were you, I would wait, because I would want to be emotionally connected to the person I was sleeping with, be in love, and know more about them (things you can only find out with time). However, it is up to each individual to decide what their standards for having sex are. Just make sure YOU feel comfortable with the decision, and don't make it to prove anything to him or keep him around.
  21. sophie274
    I think it's fine. I also think your boyfriend probably would be/is happy for you to be making a new friend - the more, the better!
  22. sophie274
    What order did they come in? If the positive test is the last test you took - then you are definitely pregnant. If you got a positive and THEN a negative - it's possible you had a chemical pregnancy/miscarriage. Have you had a period?
  23. sophie274
    I did not bleed the first time either, and have never bled during sex. As others said, the hymen can be torn from vigorous exercise, wearing tampons, and I think some women are even born without one. I think the bigger issue is why your boyfriend is asking these questions. He clearly doesn't trust you, and it doesn't sound like he has any reason not to. Trust is an essential component to a relationship, and he needs to get over this issue quickly. The fact that he is making such a big deal out of this also makes him seem quite controlling. If you want to continue your relationship, I would advise you sit him down, tell him what you have already told him, and explain that this is the last time you will re-hash this issue. But honestly, I would be very wary of his suspicion. Is he otherwise distrustful or suspicious?
  24. sophie274
    I disagree with Robowarrior. You and he agreed before you got married that you both wanted to have children. If you still want children, and he doesn't, then you will have to decide if you would rather try to have a complete family with someone else, or stay with him and not have children. So... you have to find out if he actually wants children, or not. Does he not want you to get pregnant because he is scared you will have another miscarriage which will leave the two of you reeling? In that case, adoption seems like a good idea. Find out why he is waffling? Is he now unsure that he wants children? You can talk this through with him. Still, I think the bottom line is that if one partner wants children and the other doesn't, there is no compromise possible. You can't have half a child. So either one partner changes his/her mind, or both partners need to find other partners.
  25. sophie274
    I'm really curious as to why you think you are pregnant. You haven't missed a period yet, right? Are you having any pregnancy symptoms? When do you think you got pregnant? Are you and your boyfriend still having sex, or are you holding off for now?
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