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sophie274

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Everything posted by sophie274

  1. Are you on Twitter? Great place to keep up on news in science and chat with other academics. Good way to make new professional connections and friends, and expand your social circle. I’m not suggesting you start asking people out on social media but it would be a good way to connect with others with similar interests and perhaps romance can blossom off line or the new friends you make could set you up, etc ...
  2. Thank you very much! Life has changed a lot, that’s for sure. I have about a year and a half left before I graduate, and then after that I’m looking at probably another 5-7 years of “on the job training” as a working professional. So a long way to go still but not too much longer for the degree and that’s exciting.
  3. You did a wonderful thing. I was talking to a patient today and his childhood included pretty much every traumatic, destructive experience you can imagine. When I hear these stories I think gosh, he never even had a real chance to be healthy. And like you said, I look at my chunky little baby who has everything and the contrast is heartbreaking. I hope she’s able to get the long term help she needs and use the resources available to her. Social workers are miracle workers.
  4. I’m really glad the creams are helping. Hopefully she stops feeling itchy soon.
  5. Honestly I totally understand about the breastfeeding. I went back to “work” more than full time when my baby was 6 weeks old. Even though I knew it’s what I wanted to do and she was cared for by her dad and grandmother, it was hard to leave her and I worried she wouldn’t be attached to me. Even though rationally I know and believe that formula is more than fine, I felt like if I was going to be gone so much, breastfeeding/pumping was the least I could do. So I did every single night feed from 6 weeks to 6 months when she slept through, and got up early to pump etc ... I felt like I wanted to share one special thing with her that no one else could. I actually do feel that it has personally helped me bond with my baby. Obviously millions of women every day have incredible bonds with their formula fed babies - this is just how I felt, even though I didn’t think it was rational. So I totally understand you wanting to breastfeed. Can you talk to your health visitor or doctor? Eczema is so super common and most often has nothing to do with what mom eats. There’s lots you can try before switching to formula, although if that’s what your medical team thinks is best for baby, I would of course follow their advice.
  6. I’m so glad you’re seeing someone next week. I hope it will be helpful. I’m in the USA. We had all her visits as planned (1,2,4,6 and 9 months will be next week). They’re all with her pediatrician and she gots vaccines at all of them, although I don’t think there are any at 9 months. Here they’ve recommended staying on track with visits so that’s what we’ve done. She goes to a big practice with two locations so they changed it so one building sees all healthy kids and another building any sick kids, so I’ve felt like it’s pretty safe. Mine was always a decent napper - we worked on having her nap alone starting when she was 6 weeks so maybe that worked, probably we just got lucky! She had a phase where she would only nap until the wrap and so that’s what we did. Would have to walk around with her in it to get her sleeping but then could sit down. It can be so frustrating. Even now I get so frustrated sometimes. I can’t wait until she understands me and she can talk to me and tell me what’s wrong.
  7. My baby had a major sleep regression from 14 weeks to around 5.5 months. Went from waking once at night to waking 3,4,5, 6 times. It was hell to get her back down to only two feedings/wakings a night. She cried more than I wanted or had planned on because I couldn’t take it anymore. I had read about this “4 month regression” but had decided my baby was way better than that, ha ha ha, and boy was I wrong. We then had a glorious month and a half, another tough time around 7 months with multiple waking for a few weeks, and now a pretty decent month or so stretch. Hasn’t been linear for sure. That being said I never paid any sleep consultant - we had no money so that was an easy decision ha ha - and even with money I wouldn’t. It was clearly a phase for her. After we got down to one night feed she ended up dropping it on her own, so I think it was just developmental for her. Now she’s in a phase where she wants to be held by her mama 24/7 and she’s a chunky monster and my arm feels like it might fall off, so I hold her a lot and sometimes I just put her down and she screams and howls and that’s ok. I used to hate hearing baby cry at all and I still do, but it doesn’t send a dagger through my heart anymore which I personally think is good.
  8. As you know I’m a pretty new mom too (baby 9 months old). I suppose I’m in the opposite situation as I’m the one working 60 hours plus (mostly outside the home but have a lot of evening and weekend work too), been back at work/school since baby was 6 weeks and her father is at home with her. It’s certainly all felt a bit joyless for the last several months - very restricted as to where we can go, no visits from friends, and since my husband lost his job due to COVID, no money to do much of anything fun. Here we have checkups at 1 month, 2 months, then 4,6,9,12. I feel lucky to be going to work in person. I was at home from early March to early July and it was tough. I love interacting with others (professionally) - aside from work I have only been to the grocery store once in the last 2 months, no other trips outside the house. I get up early (4 or 5 am) to pump, get ready for work, if I can then I feed baby before I go, go to work where I pump three times, come back, dinner, bathe baby, play, bedtime, clean up, and it’s time for bed. Same routine 6 days a week and on the seventh I have to study most of the day. Neither my husband nor I have had a relaxing weekend in months. Here it is literally 45 C every day this time of year so we’re quite housebound. So yes it’s hard and terribly monotonous. Don’t spend any energy worrying about other mothers and if they can get to see lactation consultants of are feeding their babies at 4 months. I see you are compassionate and worrying about how this is affecting their health, but don’t take on other people’s struggles when you already have your own. If there’s anything that can bring you joy or comfort then try to do it. Walks with baby, FaceTime with family and friends. Sitting outside 6 feet apart (can be with masks on to be extra super safe) with family and friends (it’s more than safe). Ordering takeout to give yourself a break. Movie night with your fiancé at home. Forums to chat with other moms (they can be anxiety producing though). I don’t know what you were picturing things to be like at this time - it sounds like going to mom groups, going to soft play, seeing your mother and probably other things, but whatever you can do to give yourself a sliver of that experience, do it. As far as postpartum depression, I have found sleep to have a disproportionate effect on my mood. Aside from trying to get as much sleep as possible, I’d encourage you to make use of all the resources you have access to to nip it in the bud. Six weeks waiting sounds insane to me so if you have the financial resources to pay for something sooner, I would. My baby’s pediatrician was worried about me being depressed but I personally felt like I was “just” exhausted and overwhelmed, and I did get better with more sleep and figuring out how to fit in work/school and baby. For me, I’m waiting out this hot summer. Once it’s October and the weather is nice, I’m going to go hiking with my baby on the weekends. We’re going to play outside. I’ll get her a wagon and we’ll ride around the neighborhood. I’ll probably sit outside at restaurant terraces occasionally. I’ll have friends come over for drinks outside on my terrace after dark/baby’s bedtime and we’ll all sit far apart. Thinking about those things - which feel positively luxurious to me at this point - is getting me through now.
  9. Not quite a year yet! I personally found breastfeeding to get much easier and more enjoyable as time went on. I remember at first wondering how anyone could ever find it easy and convenient and carefree, but then it became that way for me too. These days I mostly pump because of my very long work hours, and I am super grateful to have that flexibility, but I find it a hassle. I can’t wait until I don’t have to wash those dang pump parts anymore! Congratulations again and enjoy that baby.
  10. Congratulations on your newborn! Very happy for you. And yes, sleeping babies are delicious. Enjoy the journey - I’ve found it to be a roller coaster so far 😉
  11. It definitely tugged at my heart strings to put away the little newborn outfits. When she got her first teeth, I cried because it was the end of her gummy baby smile. There’s something about babies growing up ... you hope for it every day and then feel very emotional when it happens. I hope baby feels better. I know it’s worrisome when they don’t eat but she’s such a healthy weight, I’m sure she’ll be back on track soon.
  12. Infertility certainly is a medical diagnosis and warrants referral to a fertility specialist, especially at the poster’s age. Not going to speculate on malpractice but the OP should see a specialist, and soon. And without a work up, there is no way to know why the poster is experiencing recurrent pregnancy loss. It could very well be an issue with her eggs given her age, or something else. OP, I would consider using an egg donor if I had egg quality were the cause of my infertility, but would use an anonymous donor. I wouldn’t feel comfortable using a sibling’s eggs - not to mention that if you and your sister are at all close in age, she likely would not be the best option for a donor.
  13. You should absolutely see a doctor, and soon. When things are getting worse, not better, and causing functional impairment, it’s really time to be seen. I understand you have some challenges to access services. Do you have any friends or family members who can drive you? Any money to take an Uber/Lyft/taxi? Seeing a doctor needs to be a priority.
  14. I hope they are helpful and that your daughter is feeling well!
  15. I’ve read green poop can be a sign of a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance. I love the Kelly Mom website for info about breastfeeding - and of course, your pediatrician for any health concerns. The newborn period is so hard. Hang in there and accept all the help you can get.
  16. Are you saying I’m not young anymore?! 🙂 Thank you! I hope you get some good rest today Butterfly.
  17. I took a lot of walks outside with my newborn in either the stroller or wrap - it was the one thing I prioritized every day. I would do it in the morning timed with the first nap of the day so no matter how rough the rest of the day was, I had gotten one good thing done. (And many days it was the only thing I got done outside of us staying alive lol). I recommend it if you feel up to it!
  18. Congratulations on the birth of your daughter! I just wanted to say that, in my experience, the early post partum days were a roller coaster - extremely high highs and absolute despair when the sleep deprivation catches up to you and the hormones are all over the place and you’re still learning how to be a family. I have no idea what happened with your fiancé but, if at all possible, this is one of those times where it helps to cut each other some slack. I hope you’ll feel better soon. Enjoy those baby cuddles. They change so fast!
  19. I’m sorry that you’re dealing with all of this - I hope you get answers and that it’s good news. If you’re not getting answers, you might consider going to a specialized center with integrated care where all the specialists would work together to try and make a diagnosis and plan. I don’t know where you live but in the US certain medical centers are known for this and the quality of care is just a cut above the rest. Sometimes it’s hard to make progress when you’re seeing a bunch of different doctors but they’re not working together.
  20. Since it’s the second child, I assume this person knows what a special moment the birth of a child is - not to mention that most birthing moms would especially want a partner’s support during birth and the early postpartum period. I know everyone is different, but I honestly can’t imagine my husband asking to miss birth and the first few days of our child’s life for a wedding.
  21. I can think of so many reasons why someone would choose not to share a pregnancy - this is a very personal choice and I don’t think it’s right to have an expectation of when the person should share. No one is entitled to getting that information about someone else, and it was wrong for C to share news that was not hers to share. Personally, I chose to keep a pregnancy private for as long as possible and it was not about being secretive; it was that I preferred to keep this a private matter, and was nervous that something would go wrong and did not want to have to deal with that publicly. If/when you see her and she’s seven months pregnant, just congratulate her and proceed as you would with anyone else.
  22. The HPV vaccine doesn’t just protect against cervical cancer, but against some types of penile, vaginal, vulvar, anal and oropharyngeal cancers. There has been a large increase in hpv-associated oropharyngeal cancers and this is a nasty cancer that can be disfiguring (not to mention the impact on quality of life when mouth, tongue, larynx etc are involved). The HPV vaccine has been out since 2006. It has been well studied and has not been shown to have more adverse side effects than any other vaccine. Is 13 years new? That’s a matter of personal perspective but it’s certainly not fresh off the shelf. The HPV vaccine is one of only two cancer-preventing vaccines we have (which is amazing!). The other is the Hep B vaccination, which is given at birth! Nothing to do with promiscuity or not trusting children to be honest about their sexual activity. It’s just best practice to be immunized before the first partner (which for HPV includes oral sex). The people I know who are most passionate about HPV vaccination are gynecological surgeons and head and neck cancer surgeons - the people who treat most of the diseases caused by HOV. They make (part of) their living treating these cancers and would love to see them eliminated because they know how devastating they can be. Countries with high vaccination rates - NOT the US, sadly - are already seeing tremendous results. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/03/world/australia/cervical-cancer-hpv-vaccine.html As you can see I feel very strongly about this issue, and I hope anyone reading this will consider getting the vaccine for themselves (if under 45) or their children.
  23. I think you already have more than enough information regarding her alcohol use without discussing it with her. What could she possibly say that would change your mind about her use of alcohol being problematic? I wouldn’t bother asking her to abide by any “rules” or requests regarding how she consumes alcohol with you or around you - I think if you’re at that point while only casually seeing each other, this will continue to be an issue. I’m not usually one for writing people off, but she has a pattern of substance use that’s clearly unhealthy and incompatible with your views/expectations. I think that’s certainly going to be the nail in the coffin for this relationship, whether now or down the road ... from my perspective, why waste your time trying to change her when you must know it won’t be successful ? I don’t mean for that to sound harsh, but it’s just extraordinarily unlikely that she will go from drinking all day, am and pm, to becoming a moderate drinker just because you ask her to. She surely knows her drinking is excessive.
  24. Yes, most Medicaid plans should cover it. She can call and ask to make sure. WIC is the women/infants/children program. It will give some money towards certain staples for pregnant women and moms of young children. There are many resources out there for low income families but sometimes it’s a matter of finding them. I’ve heard that WIC offices can help connect women with resources. She can go online and take an eligibility questionnaire to see if she is eligible, and if so make an appointment with her local office.
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