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sophie274

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Everything posted by sophie274

  1. Thank you very much! Life has changed a lot, that’s for sure. I have about a year and a half left before I graduate, and then after that I’m looking at probably another 5-7 years of “on the job training” as a working professional. So a long way to go still but not too much longer for the degree and that’s exciting.
  2. You did a wonderful thing. I was talking to a patient today and his childhood included pretty much every traumatic, destructive experience you can imagine. When I hear these stories I think gosh, he never even had a real chance to be healthy. And like you said, I look at my chunky little baby who has everything and the contrast is heartbreaking. I hope she’s able to get the long term help she needs and use the resources available to her. Social workers are miracle workers.
  3. I'm so sorry itsallgrand. From my perspective, it's an honor to be allowed to share in your news, good and bad, and I hope this journal will continue to be helpful for you and not an added weight. I'm really glad your fiancé is there for you through all of this. Big hugs. Take care of yourself.
  4. Wow congratulations on the baby and the engagement! I hope the pregnancy goes very smoothly.
  5. Exciting news and may the process be joyful and easy for you. I've benefited from your wisdom and grace on here so much through the years - your child will be so lucky to have you as a mother!
  6. Congratulations on getting married! I'm sorry your sister didn't behave well, but at least you still had a lovely day. It sounds like everything was gorgeous. Where did you go on your honeymoon? Enjoy the rest of your time off before going back to work.
  7. I love this one too. It reminds me of that book you made way back in the day. You could sell this to Asti for her bedroom!
  8. I love the art but the message worries me - hope you're ok! I agree with CC - very cool looking. I'm picturing it on a T-shirt sold at Urban Outfitters! Very nice.
  9. Oh my god those pictures are AMAZING! I'm in this East Coast snow storm as well, enjoying watching the snow fall from my window. I love winter weather!
  10. Just had a real low point, but managed to cheer myself up. Yay!
  11. Feeling really sad right now. You're so close, but so far from me, with someone else. I keep hoping you'll call to apologize, at least, but you'd rather hole up like a coward. What a waste of four years, honestly.
  12. Today's not such a good day. Not doing well on the school front, and sorely tempted to write to you. Trying to resist because I know it won't end well. Can't believe you haven't even been tempted to get in touch with me (or maybe you have been tempted). Feels like a big slap in the face that you don't care. And, in the irony of life, I got to throw the crap you gave me right back into someone's face, who didn't deserve that at all. Made me feel terrible. What I said to him was similar to what you said to me - that you're sorry but you just don't care enough. Ouch. Can't believe you could feel the same way about me as I do about someone I've known for about 5 minutes. Why can't YOU be in love with me?! But I don't know that I would even take you back if you came back to me now. Actually, screw that, I probably would, not because it would be a good idea, but because if I rejected you then I could only have myself to blame, and I don't deal well with responsibility. Oi. I don't know what it's going to take for me to snap out of this rut I'm in.
  13. It's amazing. You really know how to make me feel like doodoo, an absolute nothing.
  14. Typical, just typical. I mean, really. Right now I'm just laughing at myself and shaking my head. You would never have been the man I wanted you to be. I think I finally get it now. Every time we've been in contact since the break-up, that's the lesson I learned. And I've persisted, but I keep getting the same BS back. I get it. I do.
  15. I'm reading Love in the Time of Cholera, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. I've read two other books of his (Chronicle of a Death Foretold and One Hundred Years of Solitude), and I'm loving this one as much as I loved the others. Bought it yesterday and am already half-way through!
  16. Well of course, I was doing so well and now I am dying to hear from you. I can't believe I ignored your e-mail. A message from you, my Thomas, the man I thought I was going to marry, and I had to ignore it, because you've made it clear you don't want a relationship with me, you don't even want friendship with me. Because you're having sex with someone else. Because you don't even care enough to comfort me when I'm devastated. So I ignored it, I didn't reply. And you, did you write again, did you try again? No. You never fought for me, and now, you won't even make an effort to be my friend. The thing is, sometimes I think I'm over you. And I know when I get like this that I'm just lonely, that I just want to be in love again, that if I had someone else I wouldn't be thinking about you. But still, I still am. I promised myself three weeks ago that I wouldn't cry over you anymore. I've tried, and done pretty well, but still. Sometimes I think of you and all I can do is cry, because I hate what's happened to us.
  17. You're a jerk. There's another word I want to use but I don't think ENA will allow it. I can't believe you had the NERVE to send me that e-mail. I hope you get an STD. I hope you fail miserably at what you're trying to do and go home crying to your parents. I hope your good time girl gets pregnant and keeps the baby. I hope you never find a real job. I hope you're always a little less happy than I am. There, I said it. It's not pretty, and I'm ashamed of it. I hate feeling this way about you, but that's how I feel. And YOU made me like this, up until even a month ago I loved you to the moon and back. Never has someone behaved so atrociously towards me. And now, I can hardly even respect you. Sad.
  18. I can't believe you just don't care what is going on in my life. And yet I know that the main reason I'm still upset and angry at you is that I'm just lonely. I think if I met someone, you would be out of my mind very fast. Please let me meet someone.
  19. You're a liar and a jerk. I am so disappointed in you. You're not the guy I thought you were.
  20. Man I wish I could somehow make you feel guilty for the way you treated me and have been treating me. All I want is for you to stop and start doing what's right, and you won't. You won't apologize properly, you won't feel guilty, you won't even get upset. You claim you want all these things with me but haven't lifted a finger to do them, you just continue down the opposite path. You're "a bit scared to never talk to me again" - HA, thanks jerk. That's all I get after 4 years, "a bit scared". I wish you would just go away, get the hell out of my life, instead of staying half in half out while doing these disgusting things that destroy you. I wish I could hurt you as much as you hurt me, but I don't think you care enough.
  21. floating_away: I visited your website ... do you sell prints of your photos? Do you have a price range?
  22. Wow. I don't quite know what do say. Is there nothing you can do about this "pathogen". Have you been to see a doctor? I hope it's not something that can be transmitted to your wife via sexual relations ... I'm really sorry. This may seem fruitless, but maybe you should get some psychological or religious counseling so you can die at peace, if that's really where you're headed. Do you really think your wife would have killed the other woman? Are you happy with the decision you made? I will be thinking about you.
  23. I have said this before and you have protested, but your behavior still sounds controlling to me. "It's your night" to talk to her? I understand you have a habit, but she is allowed to talk to other people, right? One of her friends told her for you? Listen, apart from the fact that you have "informers" to tell you what your girlfriend is up to, the fact that your girlfriend didn't tell means that she was either scared to, or doesn't think it's a big deal. If she was scared, well, you know what that says about you. If she doesn't think it's a big deal, then clearly she does not have the same relationship exclusivity standards that you do, as evidenced by her going to the dance. The way you talk about how she reassured you that she wasn't in her bed, wasn't in her pajamas ... I find it controlling - do you REALLY think talking to someone on the phone while wearing pjs in intimate? You're making it intimate because that's all you have. It's a big deal to you because that's all you have. This is not a full, real, real-life relationship. There seems to be some discrepancy between the "controlling ex" story you're telling us, and the one she calls and is happy to talk to. I don't know what to think. As others have asked, why haven't you met and when are you going to? Also, do you have a job?
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