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Rising Star (9/14)

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  1. Answer... "NO" Bi-polar is her problem - relationships is not based on sympathy.
  2. for me.. honestly is the way to go. Love and risk goes hand in hand. You really dont lose anything from telling the truth, if he rejects you, that is all it is, simply the fact that he is not into you anymore and the timing is wrong. Anything said after that doesnt matter. If loves you back then all fine and dandy.
  3. once in a while. we re-affirm that we love and want to be together. I talked about the current situation (LDR) and talked about wither one of us has to move otherwise we might as well end it. It is a hard reality that both dont want to do BUT if both think it is just giving up too much then maybe it is better to end then keep going this way. I just find it sad that my dreams of love conquering all is fading away. It makes me question myself if i love her enough.
  4. i bet you like to see 2 girls kiss. What is that movie called when Alyssa Milano kisses anothe girl and touches her breast??? Are you homophobic? Its her fantasy. Leave it alone. Just like you have your fantsy, you would not want her telling what you can have in your fantasy.
  5. Everyone has some form of disorder and to certain extents. I think sitting down a write/listing problem with your ex is probably waste of time (unless youare considering getting back with them). I think a more productive way of moving on with life is to understand your fault and limitations and find someone that is compatible and complimentary to both your behviours and needs.
  6. Anyone been in a relationship that is good but still talked about breaking up? My S.O and i are in a reasonably good relationship but in an LDR situation. We do love each other but realization has set in that something has to change. (ie. we have to be in the same location to have a REAL relationship again) either she come here or i go there. We understnd our responsibilities and will not move unless we have a job where we are moving to.(not depending on the other all the way) We have talked about making plans to be together, but at the same time we have talked about ending the relationship. Is talking about ending the relationship a BAD thing? i am thinking it maybe is. I am just wondering if both parties WANT to be together, should the cinversation about breaking up even be considered? What do you think?
  7. just have to really say something. if mom looks like she is in her 30's why wouldnt her be attracted to her? woman in their 30 are at their peak. Women under 30 are trying to be more matured and has yet to find their stride, whilst women in their 30's are more confident andSophisticated, they have found their stride. If you look at it from his point of view, if it was NOT your mom but someone that looks like you mom would he have sex with her if asked. Would that make you feel better?? i hope so because that is what he sees, NOT your mom but an attracive lady.
  8. what are the saying???? Ask a stupid question be ready for a stupid answer. OR Be careful what you ask because yu migh just get it.
  9. American parenting isn't something to be admired, but he never said they were! He merely said abuse cannot be tolerated given the legal standards set in this country, and to say that laws are completely relative is nonsense! IT is illegal in the US to strike a child, but I ask you how many people have smacked or been smacked? I would dare to generalize and say a huge majority. Thus, the laws are relative, as if the laws were taken literally the result would be majority of the population would be in jail. Understanding when the apply term 'abuse' in the Asian culture would be a different point of time. In the Asian culture, a father coming home and tapping the son on the head with his knuckle can be taken as a sign over affection. If applied to the Literal US legal system he had just abused the child. In each culture there are different ways of showing affection. (Btw I am not saying that kicking someone in the stomach is a sign of affection in Asia.) But before you judge a situation with a self righteous attitude, stand back and observe the whole scenerio for what it is and not what you measure them to be. In cases where people are being physically, emotionally or mentally abused in this way (which is rather significant), cultural relativism is NOT a valid method of defense. Physically, emotionally and mentally abused to what extent? Who draws then line? In all cultures they have their own definitions and their own lines. Yes, these people do live in the USA and thus supposively have to follow the law, but the law is flexible to some extent to entertain the diversity of cultures. The law is not black and white it is a grey and it is a guideline. To blame the poster is like blaming a victim of rape for being raped. It's absolutely ridiculous! I don’t not condone Rape, but if in a extreme situation where I had judge if a educated woman walked naked into a uneducated bar in Papua new Guinea and get raped , I would unfortunately say that she was to blame. (Though I would find the raper's guilty of rape) but she had a part. I do not believe that you can just take a situation in a whole scenario and judge upon that. You have understand the scenario and then judge the situation and the outcome. Yeah, he's the one to blame insofar as he snuck around and should know that in the Asian (which really does no justice as it's a very diverse continent) culture they are extremely protective of their daughters. At the same time how is the boy to know that the father would physically assault his daughter and utter death threats?? Understand the scenario and judge the situation for what it is. You will realize that the resulted actions are culturally based. Though the actions were abusive, the actions were cultural. Applying western 'solution' will not solve the problem appropriately.
  10. well, first as you are Japanese you should knows that everytime that main family member comes back to their house you are suppose to greet them. Which you avoid because you think he doesn't like you. Avoiding doesnt make it right to not greet him, it just make it worst. (good thing is that you have learnt something new about life. Avoiding a problem doesn't solve it, it makes it worst) As for what to do, it is not your choice to call the police. It is between the family. You as a person can give advice and be there for your gf. She/ her mom/ her aunt has to do it. If you do decide to call the police then you must understnad the implications and understand that YOU will take responsibility of the consequences that occurs from doing so. If the father is the sole bread winner for the family and provides the daughter the financial support to go to school and university, she might lose that. She might be taken to a foster home that are not able to give her the financial backing to go to university. You will be responsible for breaking up her family (perfect or not perfect). You will be responsible for her future (success or failure) Are you ready for that??? So many people immediately shout out, 'call the police' but in the end will they be responsible for this person? of course not. IT is so easy to say when you do not have to responsibility of facing the consequences of the future of our girlfriend. As i say, i do not agree with abuse, i am very much against it. But understand the situation, understand the dynamics, understand the culture's way of doing things. As you know, the Japanese's approach of when it come to family. Why should it be any different for other Asian race. Family matter is family matter, do not include outsider. Your role, if you are causing more harm then good back off. if you see her geting harm you can advice her to get help. Do not try to be the "HERO"
  11. Never a good solution to a problem, because it becomes a revenge thing thus aggrivates a situations. You/ We all should have figured this out by watching this news. Wars are fought because of the attitudes, "i'll give you a taste of your own medicine". The only result is a winner and a loser. Thus not benefital in the long term. A good result for all relationships is a win-win, thus a long term benefit.
  12. It isnt a compatitibility issue, it is a respect issue. You have your principles and that is NOT have sex before marriage. If he is pressuring you to, he is not respecting you. If he is pulling away the he chooses not to respect you or our beliefs and your principles. People are defined by their principles, is this guy worth throwing away your principles? Because this is something that when done, you cant go back. Look after yourself, stand for your principles because your are defined by them. Anything that compromises principles are not worth it. Walk away from this guy.
  13. Geeezzzz... so many people here has given advice and have no idea of asian culture. DO not measure western culture and asuan culture on the same level!! they arent the same! As for the poster, to be honest, yo are the one to blame. Asian culture are VERY protective of their daughters, even more so when they are under age of 21. Education comes first in the asian community with NO compromise. You wonder why the father doesnt like you?? let me tell you why, it is very disrepectful not the greet the main family member of the house. It shows very bad character to sneak around. it show shiity character sneaking thru a windows especially into the daughter room. (and you wonder why he doesn't like you) Mate, you want him to respect you ?? start growing up and start doing the correct thing and not sneaking around. As for being asked to leave, you should have left. (do what your elders ask you to do) Before you decide to have any relationship with this girl yo have better start learning the asian culture and the way how they handle situations. Abuse is not correct and i am not there to say whether he kicked her in the stomach. I think in this situation it is an asian thing. 88cookie.. you are ignorant. The world is filled wit many different cultures and thus diferent ways of doing things. Holding or disregarding other people culture and measuring them to the American culture is so full of crap. Have you resently looked at the american ways of doing things the the failure of the america parenting skills? Get off you high horse and educate yourself before you make daft comment like that. It make me wonder why american thinks it has such a good system when it has one of the high gun death rates in the developed countries. Canada has also the similar gun laws but they have a fraction of crimes compared to america. Just remember something, America does NOT set the standard of good parenting techiques so thus you should NOT expect people to believe in it. Just because you live in america it doesnt mean the someone has to give up their cultural parental techiques. I am not saying that i am for Abuse, in fact i am very much against abuse, but throwing the Ameican crap just pisses me off. It so ignorant and self rightous.
  14. because they may not be there for you emotionally or phyically because you are on their time and they are not on your time. Because you are hoping and hoping, but you know they aren't giving anything more.
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