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sophie274

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Everything posted by sophie274

  1. You may be set on swimming, but you could also sign up for some exercise classes through your college. Mine has a whole bunch (dance, yoga, pilates, aerobics etc etc etc) for quite cheap - ex. twice a week for 12 weeks will be 60-90$, and they charge it to your parents ( ). For me, having a set time helps, being with other people helps, and doing something out of the ordinary helps. (I am starting capoeira on Friday.) Also, once you go for a few weeks, class members and the instructor EXPECT you to be there and will notice if you're not, so that helps me attend even when I don't feel like it. My sister started exercising over the summer and just made herself do it. It took a while, but after about 3 months she started looking forward to exercising and really wanting to do it, and it was also so much of a habit she couldn't imagine skipping out. I haven't personally experienced this, but one call always hope ... lol
  2. I would be a bit weirded out if someone I didn't know poked me on facebook, regardless of attractiveness. I think a better way to go about this would be to sit next to him in class and make small talk. Then ask him out. In my opinion, in person is always better, and you can get more of a feel for whether the other person likes you.
  3. You have unfortunately been put in the middle of this, but I think your goal should be to get out of the middle, fast! If I were you, I would tell your dad what you and your sister saw, tell him what it makes you think and how it makes you feel, and then leave it up to your parents to work it out. I'm not so sure you should tell your mom ... either way I think you should bring this up with your father. Whatever you do end up doing - and the decision is going to be hard - stay out of your parents' business after that. I mean, tell what you have to tell, and then make it very clear to both of them that this is THEIR business, not yours, and to keep you out of it. Make sure you aren't made to take sides and aren't brought into their arguments. It's both your right and responsibility to be kept free from it, in my opinion.
  4. I definitely think you should re-test in a few days. It sounds like you do have a good chance of being pregnant. From what I've heard, it is really to "create" pregnancy signs through wishful thinking, though apparently a lot of women do have that gut feeling. Good luck! Either way, if not this month, then very soon I'm sure!
  5. Hey caro I have never been pregnant, but I am an avid reader of the pregnancy forum. So I can tell you that it seems as if a lot of the pregnant women on here did have cramps in early pregnancy. One of them said they were sort of short maybe even slightly stabbing pains that would come and go very fast. It seems like most of the women felt like their period was coming, but maybe with this extra "weird" feeling and an intuition they were pregnant. Also seems like feeling REALLY tired and having sore boobs are some really common early signs. Sorry about the strange post. I wish I could give more personal advice, but this is what I remember reading on here. Fingers crossed you're pregnant!
  6. I think that's fine, as long as you know that - and if you two were to break up you had a place to go (maybe home) before you could find another place, and you had either a part-time job or enough money saved up to put yourself through school. It is really sad to have to think about these things. But I certainly hope everything will go your way, and you will live happily ever after!
  7. I have not been in your situation, but I think I understand your feelings. If you are looking for a part-time job, keep on looking. Something is bound to come up! My only suggestion would be that you really invest yourself in University life - make sure you are getting the biggest bang for your buck. Go to extra lectures, do extracurricular activities, go to your professors' office hours, work hard and study hard. Also take advantage of the social opportunities a university has to offer. Having a busy schedule might make you feel like you "do as much" as your boyfriend - and knowing you are getting the most out of your investment might ease some of the guilt you are feeling. By the way, I don't think you need to feel guilty. I am at university, and my parents will not let me get a job because they want me to be as involved as possible in university life and have the time to work and do all these extra things. I think education is one of the greatest things a parent can give a child, so thank them and good for you for taking advantage of this opportunity! There will be plenty of time for you to work at a regular job when you are older, and your degree definitely will open many doors for you. I'd like to ask, has your boyfriend said anything to you that has made you feel guilty?
  8. The only problem I see with your options is that they do depend on your boyfriend, and you two staying together and living together. I would make sure you have a back-up plan to accomplish all of your goals without him - make sure that you would be self-sustaining throughout your 3-4 year plan so that a break-up would not leave would penniless or houseless or unable to go back to school.
  9. It depends how pregnancy averse you are. Personally, I would be rushing to a clinic to get that pill - I don't like to take chances. Unless you track your cycle and know exactly when you ovulate, there is a chance you could get pregnant. It's not very high, but it's there. Knowing that, you have to decide what's right for you. Re: plan B. It is a high dose of hormones, and if you are having to take it often I would recommend going on some form of birth control, or at least using a barrier method. I'm no doctor so I can't say as to what adverse affects you might have, but I wouldn't think one more time would make such a difference. And having a child is a pretty big side-effect !!!!
  10. I don't really want to "take a side" in this situation, but I do know there are a few things going on with your girlfriend - first that you two are still worried she might be pregnant, and also that she just started birth control. Since you say the change has just been over a few weeks, pregnancy scare + BCP could easily be the cause of some moodiness. Tell her when she hurts your feelings and when you feel she is out of line, encourage communication with respect and affection, and have maybe a little patience to see if this is just a phase.
  11. Apart from the gay issue, if you feel like you're being stood up, cancelled on, or just left by the wayside by your boyfriend so that he can hang out with his new friend, you should speak up. Tell your boyfriend you are feeling a bit neglected and that you'd like to spend more time together with him. If you do think there is some inappropriate flirting/touching going on (not clear from your posts), just ask your boyfriend what's up. It does sound like he's had that conversation with you and says he is just a friend - I think you have no choice but to trust him, at least for now! Probably your boyfriend is just excited about having a new friend.
  12. Though tubal ligation is technically "reversible", you should not get it if you think you might need to get it reversed! Since you are still quite young, and not sure whether or not you still want children - it is also possible that you and your boyfriend could part ways, and your new SO and you would want children together - I don't think the ligation would be right for you. I would recommend waiting until you are sure, and taking a long-term form of birth control until then, such as an implant or copper IUD.
  13. Hope, what do you think your boyfriend would think/feel if he saw your posts on here? (not a rhetorical question, an actual question)
  14. I have played several instruments - not guitar though - and you really do have to practice. I would also recommend lessons - once you are REALLY good you might not need them as much - but right now you need someone you give you drills, tell you what you're doing wrong, what you're doing right, etc ... Practice - I would try for at least 3 hours a day, if you want to get really good. Not just grooving around - repeating things over and over again until you get them right, doing "drill type" exercises, then moving on to harder stuff.
  15. I don't know much about miscarriages, and there are members on the forum much better equipped than me to answer that question. But, if I recall correctly, you and your husband have been married just a very short time, and you are both very young. I believe you also mentioned in your other thread you wanted to go to University - and you also said you would need to the US to be able to afford a pregnancy/cost of living with a child. With that in mind, I would advise you to wait a few years before having a child. It won't be impossible for you to go to uni with a child, but so much harder. You have many many years ahead of you to conceive a child - why not wait a bit until you have accomplished some of your other goals, especially if you could not afford to have a child in England. I'm very sorry for your loss. You must still be going through a very hard time. Good luck!
  16. Agree with most. After the baby is born you can back off and not help her - but you have promised to be there for her, and that day is going to be pretty stressful for her.
  17. The answer to that is: your boyfriend. Yes, there are naked women. But he has been going for a while, he went last year, and he probably wants to be with the guys, and doesn't want you to cramp his style (meant in the best possible way of course!). And I think you yourself admit that you are going to police him - NOT to experience it, NOT to have fun. I mean, really, are you going to be laughing with them at the women? If you think it is worth it to bring it up, and then go and supervise him down there, then do. But make sure you are honest with yourself about your reasons, and that you understand what this may mean for your relationship.
  18. I have looked at pictures, and yes, there are scantily clad women. I think the consensus is that you have the right to tell your boyfriend you are going to come with but that: a - he will likely interpret that as you coming to supervise him, which is pretty bang on the reason you want to go b - your bringing it up might make him unhappy, especially as he feels that there is "something every week" I think the other consensus is that if you can't get over it, it bothers you a lot, and it is a "deal-breaker" of sorts for you, then you should bring it up. And also that you need to decide what is an issue and what isn't, and maybe find another boyfriend if this one does not meet the criteria: your many threads show how insecure you feel in the relationship. I think you either need to do some serious work with yourself in order to let you of your insecurities and save your current relationship, or re-evaluate your standards as to what behavior you want any boyfriend of yours to exhibit - and then go look for a man based on that.
  19. I agree that you should do some more research to make sure you really want to do this - as others have said, there are risks involved, especially since you sign for several years and no one knows what the situation will be like then. Also make sure you are not doing this to get away from your girlfriend, though it sounds like you have been considering this for some time. Good luck to you! I admire you for wanting to join.
  20. Aren't you in college? I'm in college (in NJ too, actually!), and my BC pills cost 6 $ a pack. That's really cheap ... and so worth it. Have you checked out the options at your health center?
  21. I just wanted to chime in. Went to 8 schools from kindergarten through 12th grade - am not to scarred I think! I was a very shy and somewhat anxious child, and would get VERY nervous the first day. However I was happy at all the schools I went to, and the other children were usually very friendly to me. I know what you mean about the first day. My first day of school in the US (I am originally from another country), I did not bring any $$ for lunch, or pack my own lunch. At all my other schools, we just ate in the cafeteria and it was billed to the parents. I was mortified and got very anxious - but the teacher ended up giving me money for lunch. Pointless little story, but just to say, the adults will be looking out for your daughter, and the other kids will be fascinated with the cool new girl and will want to be friends with her. Re: the clothes, I was dressed a lot more traditionally than the other children at school. I think the first day will be fine - after she finds her "group" she will probably want to dress like them, so maybe you can go shopping with her then.
  22. I don't think he should worry. Yes, most students will probably have laptops, but I would never make fun of anyone for that - in fact, I doubt most people will notice. Hopefully they have a bit more of a life than going around comparing size of memory. I can't believe how much technological info is in that list - I have no interest in cd player or tv models whatsoever! Maybe it's a guy/girl thing, I don't know ... However, if he feels inferior/insecure, it could lead to some social awkwardness which could make it harder for him to make friends. He definitely needs to convince himself that he will not have a problem, and then he won't.
  23. I would definitely love the thought. Maybe you can send a card to the hotel early to make sure it gets there in time, and have them give it to her? I would be thrilled at that, and then you two could have a romantic evening once she gets back. Or slip something in her suitcase with a note for her not to open it before the day? I would love that too.
  24. I LOVE flowers (am a bit of a connoisseur, =) ) so I would love roses. However, sending a bunch to a hotel room seems pointless to me - she can't take them with her, so they are going to be a bit of a waste. From a $ point of view, it might not be worth it to have just one rose delivered to her either. If I were you, I would call her on the day, wish her a happy Valentine's day, and then plan a celebration for when she gets back.
  25. You could review how much you are eating ... I think it is quite common for athletes to over-eat, because they work out a lot and are perhaps not quite sure how many calories they need to maintain a body weight they are happy with. By the way, I don't mean to imply you over-eat, I just think it is something you might think about. My boyfriend is a very competitive athlete and eats A LOT, since he has to be at a certain weight he has to watch what he eats.
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