Lita43

Good Looks are the first you see, but what you see "Isn't Alway's What You Get!!!" Some of the "Hottest Guy's You Will Meet", totally SUCK!!!! Pretty Boy Models that don't even have any self-esteem of their own and will only mess you up and confuse you because they are so insecure!!!! It goes the other way for really beautiful women and feel so sorry for all of them!!!! It's kind of a catch 22 and the whole concept really does come down to insecurity. I'm so pretty/good looking that my mate thinks I will find somebody better, so then they cheat and it's only because they think that "They're Not Good Enough!!! It's insecurity on both sides without open communication which is mostly an experience "age thing." What I've found on my path to where I am now, is totally about communication and not about some kind of competition of who will hurt or dump somebody first and shows low self-esteem and uncerainty about themselves!!! I have been with alot of "Pretty Men" and I feel so sorry for them, but I would rather be with somebody that's "Pretty Inside" and incidentally, My Hubby Is and I am!!! We are both pretty attractive anyway, but it's more about your insides than your outside. He is pretty to me both inside and out, so I will look no further!!!! For almost 15 years we've been together and I am so "Blessed!!!" My first "Love" of my life was way overweight and shy, but the cutest thing on the universe!!!! We were together for 4 years and he broke up with me!!! I was devistated, but I couldn't give him what he needed 100% as I was still a child of 16. Cried and moured as if my "Love" had died, but I was the one dying inside and thought this was the end of "MY WORLD!!!" Pain is meant as a learning tool and not saying it's an easy deal and even feeling the same pain to even talk about it!!!! Just being reminicant of it makes me feel the "Big Hole Again", so know that I feel where you are, but better things are coming in your future, so hold on!!! I have thought of him over the years and has been 31 years to be exact and will always have a love in my "Heart" for him! Contacted him once on "Classmates" and he never wrote back, but know he is married and even where he lives. One time I traveled with my family for over 7 hours and looked him up in the phonebook from a popular restaraunt up there that I know. In retrospect, leave the sleeping dogs lie and don't even go there!!! My first Love will always be with me, but I have moved on to a much greater Love, although he will never be forgotten! Take Care!, Lita~ God Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The People I Cannot Change, The Courage To Change The One I Can and The Wisdom To Know It's Me! Quote: "Every Day You Don't Learn Something New Is A Day Wasted!" Lita~

Hon, I'm sorry if you think you mom was flipping out, but you did lose a set of twins (I'm sooooooooooo sorry), but given this especially I'm wondering why you think your parents wouldn't care! Parents fight for many reasons, but for "God's Sake", can't you see that this is tearing them up??? I don't want anything less than the best for my kids and think this is truly where this is coming from. We all want our children to be responsible and productive, so it's not out of the ordinary that they would be stressed to the max!!! Sometime's it's hard to be calm and talk when your emotions are all over the map, so you guy's have to really try as hard as you can to have some communication. From your post I am gathering that you are an "Emancipated Minor." After you got pregnant and lost your babies, don't you think this affected your parents in the "Deepest Way????" I'd be sick for a long time if this happened to one of my children. I could say a million things about related issues, (not miscarriage with a child of mine) but my oldest daughter getting pregnant and told me 4 days before she turned 17. In summary for this specific thread, your parents want you to be responsible and are probably blaming themselves for it! I'm sorry this makes for fighting between them and think you should talk to them, cuz why should they fight over you? Be a good girl and get things clear with them, as it's pretty sad that you could just let them continue to fight. If you are on your own, you especially need to let them know that you can handle your own and that you don't want them to fight about you. You all have to have communication and work through alot of serious emotions here. Good Luck! Lita~ God Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The People I Cannot Change, The Courage To Change The One I Can and The Wisdom To Know It's Me! Quote: "A Day You Don't Learn Something New Is A Day Wasted!" Lita~

There's nothing to plan, cuz it just happens! Plans don't work!!! It's supposed to be natural! You will want to and he will want to and there is nothing dry about it! Where do you think all of the unplanned pregnancies have come from for the past gazillion years. Don't do it just to do it, since if it was meant to be, it's a mesh of body/soul and spirit and will just happen. Hopefully you will think in advance about the possible ramifications if you don't protect yourselves. STD's, Aids or unwanted pregnancy and then you're screwed for life!!! Firstly, sex is just an act and people who truly "Make Love" are dedicated to each other, mind, body and soul and if responsible, have it figured out in advance. I keep saying, self-esteem, self-respect, open communication, respect for each others values and a long term goal. If it's a matter of just having an orgasm, there are many way's to do or pleasure yourself with a partner or not, without penitration from a male and you won't have a lifelong cross to bear. Everyone needs a tension release once in awhile, but look at the futuristic "Big Picture" if actually you do have sex and what the consequences could be and if you could even "Handle It!!!!" No child asks to be born, so think of their rights in the process of you just wanting to have some pleasure for yourself. I really hope you think about this, because to me it sounds like you're not really ready, so don't let the bf or anyone pressure you, ok? Lita~ God Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The People I Cannot Change, The Courage To Change The One I Can and The Wisdom To Know It's Me! Quote: "A Day You Don't Learn Anything New Is A Day Wasted! Lita~ God Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The People I Cannot Change, The Courage To Change The One I Can and The Wisdom To Know It's Me! Quote: "Every Day You Don't Learn Something New Is A Day Wasted! Lita~

Oooops! Forgot To Wish You A Happy Birthday!!!! Sweetie I know you feel down, but there are so many other things in life to keep you occupied. Or maybe not as you work "Too Much!!!" Sorry! You are soooooooooooooo young and it really isn't the end of the world, cuz my first love was for 4 years and even though you may feel devistated, there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!!!! Bide your time and re-prioritize. Things will be all straight the way that will work for you in life and you "Will Be Happy!!!!" Don't be all down and stuff, cuz "It's Your Birthday!" Woohooooooooo!!! Do something fun and call a friend, cuz that's what friends are for! Now make some plans and go out. Have fun, be safe and know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe tonight is your lucky night!!!! I met my second husband on my 28th birthday and was the "BEST" birthday present I ever got and was in the middle of a divorce with the son of the "Devil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Now I have been with my second husband for almost 15 years and is still my lovey Angel!!!! Don't waste your life with someone that is off the radar and I did use up a whole 9 years of my life with the first. Have Fun, fun, fun, fun!!!!!! Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!! Lita~

It's much harder for young people to understand about long work hours and makes a woman/man feel very lonely. You really need to have time together to have something to build on and if you are mostly "absentee", then it's kind of useless! Seriously, you must fall asleep soon after getting home and don't have any time to talk or even watch a movie together, not to mention have any intimate relations. If your job is that stressful, then you are more than likely bring it home to her, but I don't know enough about you to say what your habits are and just speculation on my part. I guess I would have to say that it sounds like you don't have anything left to give! Man, do you have high blood pressure yet??? As far as I feel, you should be working to live and not living to work, ya dig??? Sounds like you have a decent job, but I'd look for something else even closer to where you live or take less money to have a life "To Live!" "Money Can't Buy You Love"..............The Beatles Work isn't "The Be All End All Of The Universe" and need to get your priorities straight. I'm sorry your lady fell out of love with you, but was destined to happen, so cut your losses and learn from it. It's time to move on with a clean slate and mourn your loss, because pain is a learning tool and hope this clue's you in!!! From the beginning, did you guy's ever have discussion's about money, expectations, wants/desires in life??? "Things", will never be a replacement for physical presense and alot of rich people are the most miserable in the world! I don't know how great your communication skills were with each other, but live and learn. Young people always have to take the "Hard Road" to "Get It!" Anyway, if she came from a rich family or was used to being spoiled to have everything she wanted, when she wanted it, then it's best she left. All speculation on my part, but a valid senerio for you or others who read this. Maybe she really did care or Love you more than the stuff!!! Just be very communicative, open/honest and you will know what is expected in life or if you really want to take the stress/pain to give it, right? It's an equal relationship if you can make compromises, so I wouldn't kill myself for anyone. Get It???? Give yourself a break, cuz life is so short to spend it working just to die! Why? Hugs, Lita~ God Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The People I Cannot Change, The Courage To Change The One I Can and The Wisdom To Know It's Me! Quote: "Every Day You Don't Learn Something New Is A Day Wasted! Lita~

What do you mean "There's nothing you can do?" Only you have the deciding power and many things in life are either created or fated. Guy's and girl "CAN" just be friends, but as in your situation, your feelings grew into something more and she didn't have those feelings the same way. I had a male buddy in school for many years and even though he was attractive in his looks, the spark of romance never came into play on my part. After being best bud's for about 5 years, he tried to kiss me and it just wrecked the whole thing!!! See I can relate on the woman's side, because then every time you see your friend you have this kind of "stress" knowing that the relationship has taken a turn and you are no longer on the same page. It's much harder to communicate when you alway's have the "I know he has feelings for me" nagging at your brain. Very uncomfortable! Ok, now I have to back up the train as I got a bit off course as I wanted to make some points about a comment you made in the beginning of your post. Why would you say that you didn't deserve "Someone like her in the first place?" You may be putting those low self-esteem vibes out there much more than you know and could be partially to blame for this not going the way you had hoped. I think women especially love a strong/yet sensitive, intelligant, self-assured/confident men, so maybe you just have to do a little homework on yourself of sorts. I'd still be straight up and honest as to why she was calling to make plans and simply say, "Well it would be great to get together, but I need to know if this is a date/date a friend date or what?" Hiding in pain and wonder is no solution and deserve to know if there could possibly be the relationship or not. If she runs away, then it wasn't meant to be and in time you will get over it. What is.... is, what was.... was and the best is yet to be! Don't remember who said that, but it's true. Think about some of this and you'll figure out to do next, so keep the faith! Good Luck! Lita~ God Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The People I Cannot Change, The Courage To Change The One I Can and The Wisdom To Know It's Me! Quote: "A Day You Don't Learn Anything New Is A Day Wasted!" Lita~

Oh Sweetie! You must be going through absolute sheer hell right now and first you did right by taking the children out of the situation. I am especially appauled that your husband would take your 10 year old son to the "Treat Store" when it sounds like the real treats were for Dad. Also you are to be commended for letting the girls grandfather know about the drugs and not sure how bad this drug is, but obviously sounds very bad. If he say's that he love you so much, then in my opinion you should force him to choose between your family and the drug and force him into counceling. I'd make him prove his love for you and the family, because firstly you don't need to be berated and what about your poor kids??? I know you love him, but please do what's best for your children at all costs. Can't recall what state you live in, but I don't think there's a court in the world that would even allow visitation to a drug abuser and if you decide to go for divorce/custody, he will be court ordered (probably) to an inhouse treatment center. Maybe you need to go that far to get him sober, because people don't act rationally when under the influence. I'll further say, (Don't want to give you false hope) but maybe if he gets clean, he'll see the error of his ways and you can work on mending the family. Or is there enough close family or friends that you can talk to, to have an intervention??? Maybe you should scratch that one, as I don't know enough about your husband and he might get so p.o'd that it would do more harm than good. Just some thoughts and I am really feeling your pain!!!!!!!!!!! Good Luck Hon and Please Let All of us know how things are going. Lita~ God Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The People I Cannot Change, The Courage To Change The One I Can and The Wisdom To Know It's Me! Quote: "A Day You Don't Learn Anything New Is A Day Wasted!" Lita~

Wow! Having been through the controlling and nosey inlaws, honey it's soooooooooooooo not worth it!!! I was married to my first husband for 9 years and the "BIGGEST WASTE" of my life, as his mother had so much conrtol in our marriage, that it is a wonder she wouldn't take over my breathing!!! Long distance relationships don't work either and I'm sorry you guy's are having money problems, but this sounds like the minor of all. With some thought, a proper budget, hard work and saving even small change every chance you get, you'll pull yourself up on the money issue. As for the bf, I'd tell him that you care about him and sorry about the situation, but you need to focus on yourself right now. I can assure you that this is looking to be more than impossible for anything more to happen in the future for a positive relationship and seriously wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole. Stay away, as the evil parents will give you nothing but shear hell and misery in your life. Not worth it!!! Everyone deserves to be happy, so I would advise you to jump off the hell wagon now! Good Luck Hon!, Lita~ God Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The People I Cannot Change, The Courage To Change The One I Can and The Wisdom To Know It's Me! Quote: "A Day You Don't Learn Anything New Is A Day Wasted!" Lita~

Yes, cyber sex is definitely cheating and what you have lost is your self respect over what he's been doing. I wouldn't let anybody treat my like this and especially hate liars. It's super hard to find any trust after that and my best advice to you right now, is to take some time to do some very serious assessment of your relationship. Please don't jump into marriage and think it's going to fix a thing and in retrospect will more than likely be the worst mistake you'll ever make in your life. In most cases a cheater will alway's be a cheater and why would you think so lowely of yourself? I would never take less than the best because I'm worth it and hope you can feel that way too. Don't settle for less, as you will be more than miserable and is such a waste of precious life! I wasted 9 of mine being married to the devil himself and can't get those years back, so think very carefully and take your time in this. The right one is out there for you, so personally I'd send him packing. You can PM me if you like and we can talk more about it if you need someone to unload on. Good Luck!, Lita~ God Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The People I Cannot Change, The Courage To Change The One I Can and The Wisdom To Know It's Me! Quote: "A Day You Don't Learn Anything New Is A Day Wasted!" Lita~

Hey Hon, Throwing up today will not take out all of the toxicity in your blood or system and you really do need to go get some help "Right Now!!!" Look in the yellow pages of your phone book under doctors/physicians for walk in clinics and see if you have Aurora Health Care there. If you go there and tell them that you don't have any money and hopefully (I am thinking that they will treat you there!) I think you can file indigent through the court system on the bill, but wouldn't worry about that right now, as your life is on the line and can take care of everything else later. Seriously, I would advise your parents whether you get along with them or not, because you may not even know or understand how much they care and what they'll do for you. Tell the doctors everything that you've done and don't keep anything secret. They need to know all of it!!! God Be At Your Side and Will Pray For You!!! Take action now Hon and don't wait till tomorrow, as you may have one! Love, Hugs and Prayers, Lita~

First Loves can be quite devistating and is all you think about day and night. I hope you can get over it, cuz if he doesn't like you, then it's all a dream in your imagingation. It's time to wake up now and move on in life! It will hurt for awhile, but don't keep dreaming of what will never be and the real prince will come someday. God Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The People I Cannot Change, The Courage To Change The One I Can and Know That It's Me! Quote: A Day That You Don't Learn Anything New Is A Day Wasted! Lita~

I'm so sorry Hon, but chatrooms are really bad from the few experiences I've had and told my husband that it's nothing but sex and dirt!!!! Back in the day when I used to download music from Napster I went to a chatroom to ask for technical advice at the time and was ignored as all that was happening was strictly dirt! and the same thing on AOL chat when I had dial-up back in the day!!! Never went back and just pigs of people with no self-esteem or any person of substance. "Real People" don't go there as it is nothing but degridation and porn crap, so whomever lives there, I'm so sorry for your soul!!!! Everyone likes to have somebody pay attention to them, but there's a difference in good or bad attention. Even though it doesn't seem like the whole story is out, I am very surprised that your husband would have a problem with you being on a "Very Clean and Honest Forum!" Do you tell each other everything???? Sounds like "No" and who was the first one to be doing any of this on the internet. Is it retaliation of one over another??? I know how destructive that jealousy can be from my first marriage and learned alot along the way. I will PM you and get into this further, but it really doesn't have to be this way and maybe you can work it out, but honest communication is the key. Sounds like you guy's are going off in different directions and is not a good sign. You either grow together or apart, but serious honest communication can get you back on track!!! Forgiveness is always a plus, since there are many that make mistakes and have total regret! They see the error of their ways and if you can work through these things together, you will be all the stronger in your relationship for it!!! Good Luck! Lita~ God Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The People I Cannot Change, The Wisdom To Change The One I Can and The Wisdom To Know It's Me! Quote: "A Day You Don't Learn Anything New is A Day Wasted!" Lita~

Why would you sell yourself short if he's been seeing somebody else? Do you really think that badly about yourself as a person??? What doesn NC mean to you? No talk, no see, hey? Sounds like too many mind games being played here. Self-esteem, self-respect and self-love are first on the list. You can't give what you don't have till you find out who you are and have love for yourself first. Relationships are fated to work or not, so understand the difference. Love is acceptance of each other with all flaws and embracing this to move on and conquere the path together without judging. Support each other and if it is that hard to do so, then you were not meant to be together, so don't waste a day of precious life. God Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The People I Cannot Change, The Courage To Change The One I Can and The Wisdom to Know It's Me! Quote: A Day That You Don't Learn Something New Is A Day Wasted! Lita~

Sounds like you are using each other too much and have to back off and think about what's important. Everyone needs Love without question, but I wish you wouldn't be having relations with someone that doesn't respect you!!! Firstly you need to have respect for yourself and can be a long hard road and I know all about it!!! I prostituted myself for years thinking that somebody could love me, but wasn't the answer, since I didn't love myself or think I was worthy. After years of a bad first marriage and finally filed for divorce, I found my path to true happiness, but had to fix myself along this very arduous path. It was so worth it and I know that everyone can have the same if they don't give up on themselves and do the personal work. Don't you think you are worthy of all the happiness in the world and not have to make extreme sacrifices to be wanted? I'm here to say it's sooooooooooooooooooo not ever worth it to give in!!! I deserve nothing but the best and won't take anything less. I have it and only want to share, because everyone can have it if they get off their lazy butts, do the work and it will come to them someday. What do you have to lose, other than your happiness. Think about it!!! Good Luck! Lita~

Hi Hon, Everone hopes you're ok and have alot of info to offer, but need a bit more history on your side to give you proper advice. I have a picture posted on here that might make you think that I've never had problems, but you just couldn't imagine all of the crap I've gone through for many years. Life was more than pure hell for at least 33 years of my life and have gone through more than you could possibly know! We want nothing but happiness and peace for you, so I will PM you and think I can help you alot. I will also pray for you and hope you are ok!!!! God Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The People I Cannot Change, The Courage To Change The One I Can and The Knowledge To Know It's Me! Quote: Every Day You Don't Learn Something New, Is A Day Wasted! Lita~

I've lost some best friends too, but hate isn't the answer because it will eat at you and eat at you till you are a lost cause of the universe and afraid that your thoughts will make you do something that will take you forever!!! You won't think that anybody understands your pain, but I know pain more than anyone I know. Guess what? You can come back if you really want to and have to dig deep within yourself for all the strength you have left. Pain is a mission and road of learning, so you have the choice to come out of the dark and into the light. You wouldn't even come here to reach out if you didn't need help or salvation. Hang in and there will be some light for you, but get over some hate and find some trust. We're listening!!!! God Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The People I Cannot Change, The Courage To Change The One I Can and The Wisdom To Know It's Me! Quote: Every Day You Don't Learn Something New, Is A Day Wasted! Lita~

Your poem is wonderful and yet disturbing because I know you are feeling all alone. Sounds like your parents don't (hear your cries for help) or do you ever try to tell them? I have 7 beautiful children and all a gift from God, so I am invested in hearing about their lives with school and what they feel about alot of things. What do you think you have done to your parents to make you feel that they hate you??? If your parents are having problems, it's not your fault and children often think that if their parents argue or fight because they are the cause. Have you ever tried to say, "Mom or Dad I need to talk to you about some problems in my life?" I'm sure you hear plenty of what's going on in your house and what are the "Real Issues" for your parents fighting? Money is a big issue or maybe your Dad works so much that he's not spending enough quality time with Mom or you. Do they take any time to talk to you about homework or any other interests in your life? Do they praise you for all of your good works or grades, etc. in life? No child wants to be ignored or misunderstood, as I have gone through a long life of rejection and misunderstanding. I knew that I would not ever do this to my children and that they could count on me for conversation and support or constructive critism. There is not a chance that I will be too busy to support my children and will always Love them and help them will all I can to be the best that they can be. Two of my girls want to talk to you, as I told them that you are into the Anime and/or Pokemon thing. Samantha is 13 and totally into Anime and has a CD and art books on it. My daughter Angel really wants to talk to you and is going on 12 very soon, so she wants you to have her address. email removed We have 3 computers in the house and mine is mine, so you will have to write back to the kids computer to talk to her. Please don't have dark thoughts in your life, as I did when I was 12, so I understand!!! You just need a friend!!! You can send a quick reply, but just know that I do monitore my kids computer, ok? Take Care! Lita~ (Be SAFE!!!)

Ok Diva, Maybe I'm being a little bit hyper for you, but is your man using a condom??? I got pregnant on the pill and also on the contraceptive sponge that was eventulally taken off the market. My first OB doctor used to call me fertile Myrtle, as he delivered my first 4 kids and I have 7. Don't get me wrong, as I Love all of my children unconditionally and are a blessing to my life. I guess the main question would be, "If you got pregnant, could or would you want it?" How stable is your mate/lover and would he want it? There are alway's a million reason's to not have a child and maybe just as many to have one. Have you sat down with your significant and discussed the "WHAT IF'S? You both really need to do this and is most important because a child doesn't have a choice in mid-creation to be born or not and is all on you and your mate. No child should be born to live a life of abandon and (I'm not saying adopted out even though it may be an option), but to come into the world and not be totally Loved and Cared for. There are so many things to think about and I would be more than sorry to see a child born and not be taken care of as it should be. I am not judging you by any means, but just some stuff to think about. With the fact that I have had 7, I had 2 born with birth defects and God saw me fit to make them whole!!!!! Thank The Lord!!!!!!! My first was born with Spina Bifida (open spine) and is of the 2% that survive without complications. She is married with 4 beautiful children of her own. Thank The Lord Again!!! My 5th child was born with Dandy Walker Sydrom which is another Central Nervous System Disorder "CNS". Most Dandy Walkers don't come out without some mental retardation or physical drawbacks, but I was blessed once again and my daughter is going on 12 with above normal intelligence!!!!! I was will my first husband for 9 years and was a total waste, because I believe I was married to the devil himself!!!!! You would not want to go where I have gone and so much of your life and happiness are based on what choices you make, so think about it very deeply!!! I am so not judging you, but there is so much to take into consideration about pregnancy and I was just fortunate to have a husband that could handle all of this and provide us with a good stable home and Love. Honey, I want you to take some real time to think about the future and the "What If's". Protect yourself from all, be safe and I will say prayers for you!!! Good Luck! Lita~

You know that sometime's you have such a deep feeling for someone that it almost overwhelm's you, but it sounds like this relationship won't work out. I don't remember your age if you posted it, but it doesn't matter, since fate has dealt you the hand of "NO!" If you were "truly In Love", there would be nothing to keep you from the girl!!!! This is a fated seperation, so I think that you should get on with your life and vocation in school, till the right one come's along some day, so don't rush it!!!! (Pain is also a learning tool!!!) Think and think deeply!!!! Nobody needs complications in life and especially "NOT IN SCHOOL!!!!" Date casually, but keep up with your studies, cuz it's the whole reason for being in college and know everyone needs love. Try to find it elsewhere (behave and be safe!) and focus on your studies for now, as it will come at the right time. Talk to your parents, friends or a relative or anyone that can give you possitive feedback!!!! Don't be depressed, as you have to dig down deep and find the real you!!! If she doesn't even want to be your friend, then I guess you have to look deep into who you are as a person. If you're good with it, then it's her problem! If not, you have the power to change what it is that you don't like about yourself and it's as simple as that! Maybe not the work part! Good Luck!!!! Lita~

I know where you are coming from and can help!!!! Lita~

Hi Clan, I'm so glad you're still here and have every right to be!!!! Being a virgin is something to be more than proud of and my 19 year old son still is!!! That is most definitely the "COOLEST THING IN THE WORLD!!!!", so congratulations!!!! You know that alot of bad things can happen if you have relations with somebody and not totally know them. People have urges, but you always have to think about the "Big Picture!" and the consequences there of. Anyway, I was a geek/nerd as a kid in high school too and just as Leopold mentioned about how he attended his class reunion, it cracks me up. Hehe!!! All of the jocks and cheerleaders/stuck-ups are losers for life!!! Justice has been served!!!! Hahahahahahaha!!!! I'm sorry your dad isn't supportive, but "Thank God" your Mom is there for you and mine alway's was too, even though I think she felt helpless at times. My dad used to call me names and beat me alot and you know that I never deserved to be treated that way!!! This makes any child or young person grow up without self-esteem or worth for themselves. It's not fair, you don't deserve it and need to find your voice for your own sake!!! I'm not saying to be disrespectful to your dad, but geeeeeeeeez it's hard to have a whole lot of respect when somebody is dissing you, right? You're his son and he is supposed to be a dad. As a mom of 7 and no don't get any creepy visuals as people mix me up with one of my older daughters. Hehe! That's fun, so eat your hearts out stupid stuck-up classmates. Woohooooooo!!! Well I guess I will say the best thing to do is pull yourself together and dig down deep for all of your courage (you are a worthy person!) and say, "Dad, I really need to talk to you about some things that are bothering me." Remember "Your Courage!" and be open and honest about how you feel, because everybody has a right to have valid emotions and feelings. Go one step further with the A***** at school and if they start any crap with you, just simply say "Your just jealous" or "Too Bad You Can't Be Me, Hey?" If somebody hits you, it's not gonna be all that serious, cuz adrenaline takes over and you wouldn't even feel it till the next day. Sore, but worth it! I went up against 3 big girls once, but I really had just had enough and they beat the ever loving crap out of me and I didn't make a sound. Needless to say that really freaked them out! I had a very bad swollen black eye, busted up lips and multiple bruises on my arms, etc. and still got my licks in. Pain is pain whether emotional/mental or physical, so face up against the world, cuz I have faith that you will find all of the strength you need. Be proud, be a survivor and Love Yourself!!!! I'm not telling you to get into physical fights, because it's not a remedy, just face up to the bullies and you'll be ok (I promise!) There is nothing and nobody to die for, so go forth into this world and kick some serious ***!!!!!!!!!!!!! Life will be worth more than you could ever know, so choose "Life" and I guarantee it will be grand!!! Believe in yourself and the world will be at your disposal. Lita~

Honey, I hope you're ok and just want to let you know that there are people who care that you can talk to. My oldest daughter is 23 and a mother of 4 beautiful children who used to self mutilate because she was forced to live with my ex-husband. I myself tried committing suicide a couple of times in my life, but "Thank God" it was a failure, since I have more blessings in my life than I can count. What looks so dark to you now will be something in the past, as long as you can dig down deep inside and have faith!!! You would do yourself alot of good to talk to a councelor, but money matters could be an issue. Don't feel shame for having problems, because everybody does. Do you think your friends don't or won't understand what your feelings are and judge you? I won't, because I've been through pretty much everything in my life and can say that it's more than possible to be happy. Most people won't touch on the subject of suicide, but I'm afraid for you and not of you and will never judge you. You can talk to me anytime and I will especially take all of the time in the world to check on you, ok??? Write back public or private, I'm here!!!! I'll be praying for you, so just hang on!!!!

Yes, it's Lita the mixing of threads woman! Not this time, but wondering if you got your issues of "Ex's Parent's Always Calling" issue resolved as of yet??? Drinking and driving is an obvious no brainer or getting yourself in a situation that you can't protect yourself, unfortunately it is something that should have been taught by the parents. If you will be so foolish to get yourself into a bad situation, then you must re-think the possible case senerio's before hand. If you're already drunk, you don't give a crap and can get into serious trouble. It's alway's your own choice and in retrospect, there are so many miserable young people in this world, that they just don't care to think about it and so sad!!!! "Been there done that too!!!" Being raped 4 times in life isn't sweet, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!!! Having a good support system "Parents, syblings or friends can make the difference!!!" Some people don't get the chance to learn about this "after the fact!" It's too tragic to even think about! Anyway, the main reason for this post is for you!!! (I know it sounds lame now, since the former writing), but what is your concept of Winston Churchil's quote??? What kind of message do you get from this quote? I would like to hear what you have to say about it, as I think you can articulate well and if it's ok, I will tell you mine, but it's going to be deep! Lita~

I appologize DN as you are correct in mixing up threads, ergo don't post when you're tired and re-read former posts first. So Sorry about that really!!! Anyway It's really awesome that you love your ex's parents, but if it hurts too much to talk to them right now, then you should really tell them this. Ask if it's ok for them to give you some time to work through your emotions and if it would be ok for you to contact them when you feel more healed. Lita~

In reply to your message about the relevance of this thread, that even though it seems to me that you have some interests to keep you busy, it's not apparently enough. People need a pretty good amount of time to heal after break-up or divorce, so focus on other interests in life and find a personal understanding friend to talk with (not on-line). Advice columns can be helpful, but never replaces human contact to just hang out and talk, so maybe there are some self esteem or security issues to be addressed first. Never give up the quest, but sometime's it's best to take focus and reflect on yourself first. Good Luck! Lita~