Lita43

Wow! You have alot of posts up. What kinds of hobbies or things do you do in your life??? Lita~

I don't care how busy somebody is, cuz they'd call if you were the only thing on their mind. We alway's make time for somebody that's unforgettable, even if it's to say that "I have alot to do, but can I call you later and/or what time." Don't put your life on hold or wait for anyone, cuz life is too short to play the waiting game. Lita~

Depends on the woman, but any girl worth a crap will have self-respect! Some of us don't want complete animals, cuz it just screams "User/Loser!!!"

You know that at my age I can pretty much say "Been There Done That!", but in retrospect I am amazed at how many problems over the years haven't changed so much! The only reason I ever found this place was because I felt lonely one day and love to talk to people. Since I am so verbal and honest, I can say that (and have said many times before) is that life shouldn't be such a tradgety!!! I used to be very clingy to my second husband, until one day he said he couldn't be "My Everything!!!" Wow! Like that wasn't a wakeup call?!! I Love him completely, but now focus on hobbies and other interests in life because I do feel secure with him even in current disappointments. It's ok to have friends of both sexes if you are that secure in your relationship and as long as you tell each other everything, there should never be a problem. Everybody get's lonely or feels misunderstood from time to time. You might want to seek out a girl that is willing to talk about stuff or "issues" and just be a lending ear. Geeeeeeeesh! You're on this site, so guess that qualifies! The best advice I can give you is to alway's be "Yourself", don't ever appologize for it and be as open and honest as possible. Your true mate/Love will come to you some day, so don't rush it! Some compromise comes much later! Lita~ Good Luck!!!

Hey Rob, Just take it from somebody that know's (with age comes wisdom.) Nobody worth a crap would play games and it's your heart on the line and I say being straight up and honest is the best way to go! Say everything like it is and if you get shot down, then she is not the right one for you and relationships don't need to be that difficult. Open communication is the ultimate, so alway's say it like it is! Being on my second marriage, I know what I'm saying is true and trust is a must!!! Wear your heart on your sleeve, cuz nobody likes secerets and you will always know if somebody accepts you for you the way you are and then you won't have to make many concessions for anyone. Who doesn't want to feel free in life??? The one that will take you for your "TRUE SELF" is the one that you're meant to be with! It's just that simple!!! People make things more complicated than need be. You have common interests or you don't, you have same values or you don't, you like the same T.V. shows or movies (well maybe not all), but that's ok. You like concerts, privacy times, being with friends, kids, family etc. If you can't be on the same page with important issues in life, then it's probably not wise to persue. Even though most people revolve life around looks or **X, this is not the big picture, so think about it! Lita~ P.S. Good Luck!

Take Bobo's advice as it is so true and couldn't have said it better myself. As one who was once in your girls shoes, she may love you or think she loves you, (been there done that!) You're being used and I'm sorry, but you are the current security blanket or teddy bear. Run away far and fast!!! Life is much to short, so get through your grieving and move on.

Esant, If there should be so much compromise in a relationship, then it should never lead to marriage, because there would alway's be too much disappointment and lead to divorce! Don't get me wrong because compromise is great and all, but is just a word if there are too many things that aren't compatible. Why force it??? Your "TRUE SOULMATE" doesn't have to make many consessions at all, so keep looking. (Anyway, what's the rush???) Live for awhile, as we grow and change evey year and as the old adage say's "We alway's have the perogitive to change our minds!" And you will!!!! I wish for all young people to not be in so much confusion as this world has really turned at let us down!!! I have to laugh sometime's if not to go crazy, because I would rather be living back in the 60's when things were great and simple, but still had the Vietnam war going on. Since I don't want to be obnoxious or supurlative, do you guy's every just hang out and think of the meaning of life??? Just Lita~

Ok Doll, Here's the deal! Don't ever take back seat to anyone and I "MEAN ANYONE!!!", so take it from someone who knows! The cute and the body or whatever is out there and he is "NOT" the only one! It should never be that hard to have a relationship and know more than plenty of jerks, so don't sell yourself short or act desperate. The kind of girl a guy wants is one who has self-confidence and (no you don't have to be a beauty queen!) Someone that's fun, easy going, talkative, has skills of many kinds (or some), be interesting to talk to and down to earth! Common interests are a "MUST!" and am not a big sports fan. I refuse to be with someone that has irritating hobbies or intersts, so there is a fine line on what you will accept or not. The things that I "Hate!" are Deer hunting or any kind of hunting because it is killing animals that "I LOVE!!!" My husband is now allow to go to Deer Camp if he promises not to "Kill" any animals and can go hang out with the guy's. Anyway as I am getting off track, don't try to be with somebody that is irritating to you, because it's just a waste of life. My first husband was really downright "EVIL!" and don't really know what I ever saw in him! I wasted 9 years of my life on a very bad man and not saying that yours "IS!!!", but you have to look at the whole picture for the future's sake and do you want to be unhappy? I've been with my present husband for almost 15 years and he is the "Best Ever!!!" Honey you have time, so don't worry that it won't come around for you again. Life is such a long hard road and we have to deal with so many hurts and disappointments, but that doesn't mean your life will be without joy! I will pray that you find your path and don't ever discount the Lord as we all have lessons to learn as badly/hurtly as they may seem. Have "FAITH!!!" It really does conquere all in time! Sincerely, Lita~ XO

I'd just put Hi "Her Name" and Say you just wanted to let you know that you thought of her on her birthday. If you want to add that you'll alway's be there for her if she needs a friend (only if you mean that!) And sign a Friend Alway's or Alway's A Friend or Your Friend and your name. If you see her out in public, just smile and wave and if she wants to approach you, let it be her choice. Having a real friend shouldn't have to be so difficult. Good Luck! Lita~

Hi Doll!, "DO NOT STAY WITH HIM!!!!!" I was married to an abuser and it was both emotional/mental and physical, so if you ever thought you'd marry someone like that and have kids, then what??? The Leopard doesn't change his spots despite how he might try, so "Get Away Now!!!!" Get a restraining order if you have to!!!! I had to do it twice!!! There were times that I thought my ex-husband would kill me and felt very nervous around him all of the time and this is not how a relationship should ever be!!!! Every woman should have the freedom to have self-esteem/confidence in herself and make her own choices in life! You can direct your own life and take control of who you are and the things you want to do without anyone telling you if you can or can't. It's your choice. Go forth and be brave my Girl! Choose a better guy, cuz you "CAN!!!!" Take Care and Good Luck!!!! Lita~

Hi Ufoureah, Ok number one, the "Conrol Freak" issue has to go with you!!!! I used to be one and it is not in your best interests to try and dictate or tell anyone what they should do in their lives. This causes nothing but resentment and animosity, since everybody has their own thoughts and ideas. These are alway's reason for discussion and compromise! Number one, Paxil is a very bad medication and actually thought it was taken off of the market. I was on this medication about 6 or 7 years ago and went off cold turkey, so this was "NOT A GREAT THIHG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Won't go into specific details (even though this should not have happened), but I will tell you that the behavior that you experienced from your lady was not normal and is only a result of!!! Mental illness is more common than most people would admit too, so does this mean that they should all be thrown away and forgotten??? With the appropriate medication, she could be well enough to live a normal life. If you have "Control Issues", then it's probably better that you leave her alone, as it is that much more damaging to put these control issues on her when she is already battling emotional issue's. Just move on and I'm not saying to forget her, but just try to be friends! Lita~

Hi byates5637, You will alway's be better off giving women Love and Respect, so if they screw you over, it's their problem and not yours! Most young women are very superficial and want money or things that they expect a guy will give to them. I'm here to tell you that you are being "USED!!!!" Sorry "Little Girls!!!!!", I am a women who has "Been There Done That!!!", So don't play with the the man's heart!!!!!!!!!!!!! Users are losers!!!! Man you have to get into women's dialoge and know which is to keep or to go. If there is a girl (I don't care how cute her * * * is!!!), if she alway's want or begs you to spend money on her, dump her!!!!!! Mega shoppers/mall rats, oh my!!!! Ok, think into the future of what your vocation will be and if you will make enough money to fuel the spending monster in your life and will just make you broke and put you into bankrupcy!!!! Geeeeeeeeeeez!, Isn't that a happy thought??? Marriage/Divorce, Kid's bopped around between parents. unhappiness, loneliness, misunderstanding, a feeling that you don't belong or nobody wants you??? Why are my parents fighting over me??? Is this all my fault???? Get the hormones in check and think of the big picture, cuz you don't want to go "THAT FAR", Do YOU!!!! Good Luck and think about it! Lita~

Hi Sweetie!, I would say that women have it easier to a point and is all due to maturity and experience. All men think with their d**k's, so that being said I guess it is a matter of what you are really looking for. Most guy's are user's and just looking for a good time "if u know what I mean" and then there are some that really care and could be a best friend and eventually a good lover or someone that you can really count on. Girls need to have some really great self respect or self esteem to get through this era or age of "anything goes!" If you know who you are and have desired qualites (not just looks), but actual intersts, hobbies or other skills that may be of interest to a young guy who is respectful, it could be a good match. In my case, I don't care about money (unless it's for my basic needs). I am not impressed by wealth or cars or who you know or any of the above. Be clean, neat, put your "REAL PERSONALITY" out there and just be yourself. Relax and smile!!! Pretention is too hard to keep living up to and way too stressful. The funniest thing I can say is that I'm good with where I am in life and wouldn't go back to my teens or twenties in a New York minute!!! I am married with children and run crazy in the neighborhood bar all summer "since my husband is always busy" and have more men hit on me than I ever thought possible! Tons of friends!!! No, I don't sleep with other men. I just get more men after me than I ever have because I have the personality and not looking. So many ask if I have a sister and fortunately both of mine live out East. Act like yourself and don't give a crap about looking around and they will come to you. Good Luck!!! Sincerely, Lita~