disruptors

For sure do not reply. It makes me angry that she could send that to you! Stay strong and if you need a really good NC thread here's one that really helped for me.

byates-you read my mind exactly...I actually haven't been single for 6 1/2 years, before my last 3 years and my last 3 years I went out with a girl for half a year. These past few weeks I also asked myself and told my friends the hardest part waking up right now is learning how to live and be happy w/o having anyone here for me, or just being SINGLE. I look at so many people that have never had bfs or gfs and are happy and it gives me hope that we can be like that too. Because I truly was blind in the past 6 years with my long term lovers, since I was never truly happy by myself. I am really starting to see that to have a healthy relationship you first and foremost need to love and be happy with yourself b4 you love someone else.

byates-our stories are so similar, I also had a 3 year relationship with another girl before my recent ex. That one was bad just like this one, but my current ex helped me get over the last one and of course we ended up falling in love, things were wonderful and now like we always ask ourselves, how can a person change their heart and themselves when they use to be the one's whispering in our ears "I don't know what I would do w/o you, I love you so much, please tell me you'll never leave me." But like I said sometimes life is unfair, and all we can do is accept it and live the life God gave us, because who said it was going to be easy.

yeah i agree..I guess im so delusional right now I just want to make myself believe it'll be easy quitting this addiction after 3 years of being in love and really thinking that she is the one. A fact for sure though, sometimes life just isnt fair but then again times like this will only make us so much more appreciative and happy when life is good again, and Im trying to believe that those days will be coming soon.

last night i also looked at pics of the ex. To make it worse I was in them with her, but i was so DRUNK, I didnt even know I took a pic with her the other day at bermuda shorts day. OMG i swore to myself never ever to log into her email anymore, she still hasnt changed her msn profile of us, our pics, her passwords cuz we knew all of them. I swore on my grave this morning that I would not CHECK stuff relating to her (eg.email,msn,talk to her friends about her)...we have to move on. Treat it like this, if you check know that its like you're going to GET HURT. FIGHT THE TEMPTATION and ADDICTION. Just like smokers need that cigarette, so do we need that satisfaction sometimes of knowing what our ex's are up to, but wait some smokers find a way to QUIT after many years, so why cant we as well?

Hey guys, basically I grew very close with my ex's parents. She wants this break up after 3 years and I have not spoken with her about it since we broke up about 4 weeks ago. The point I just have to make and ask is since I've done NC, like i havent called,text'd, or talked to her about our relationship, even though I have seen her at university a few times, said hi, and even took a picture with her at Bermuda shorts day two days ago(BAD IDEA, I was so wasted I didnt even know) should I return the phone calls her parents are making to me? I know its them bc they are using their cell phones to let me know its them and not my ex? But in a way my NC is to flush her and everything that has to do with her out of my system? But then again I love her parents and am I just being totally inconsiderate and rude by not answering their phone calls, let returning them? I just know they want to talk to me but I know in the end it wont change my ex's decision which is to stay broken up.

Hey guys, A little history if you're wondering Last night was Bermuda Shorts Day, so it was a fun day until I saw my ex and her friends at a bar my friends and I all went to. I have been seeing a girl since we broke up, I know its quick cuz we broke up 3 weeks ago after a 3 year relationship, we were in love, things were wonderful until what happened (described in the link). Long story short yesterday I was really drunk, and at the beer gardens during the day b4 the bar I guess I said I made out with 4 girls to one of her friends. I was so drunk I dont even remember saying that but I guess my ex found out and she got really pissed. I found this out by her friend seeing me at the bar last night and saying i was a real jack * * *, on top of being with the girl I was with last night because I was dancing with her and we were all over each other you could say, but its like I wasnt trying to rub it in her face, we were in the same bar! K i know I didnt make out with 4 girls that day during the Beer gardens but SHOULD I EVEN CALL HER AND BREAK NC TO TELL HER I DIDNT AND THAT I DIDNT MEAN TO PISS HER OFF OR HURT HER. OR I AM ALSO THINKING THAT IF I CALL HER WHAT IS THE POINT? SHE DOESNT WANT TO BE TOGETHER, WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO CALL HER AND SAY IM SORRY WHEN I HATE HOW AND WHAT SHE IS DOING TO ME? Did i just push her away and destroy any chance of us getting back together in the future by her really thinking i made out with 4 girls and was with a girl all nite last nite? Thanks everyone.

AHHH I'm sorry guys, but I sent it. Yesterday I had to study all day and I think thats why I was sulking and thinking so much, that it made me feel so hurt, desperate for an answer. However as you see, the email doesnt really ask her to email me back but somehow in my heart I wanted her to, but my mind told me what could she possibly say by emailing me back except for the fact that she wants to get back together. I KNOW I SCREWED UP, I FEEL SO ASHAMED OF MYSELF when everyone here told me not to and I still did. I know she read it but she hasn't written me back. Did i just push her away even more because she wants this break up and I don't, or should I just use this as justification as a means to an end to this relationship? I'm sorry guys, I really hate how sometimes your heart can make you do something when your mind tells you its the wrong thing, but you still do it anyways.

Hey Poco, I thank you for your honest response. I haven't sent it yet and I guess I don't want to because yes it sounds like I'm pathetic, lonely, desperate, but at the sametime I feel like I have to inorder to give myself closure.

"Hi Eva, I do not know why I am emailing you. I know things are done. But something inside me told me I had to do this one last time, no matter how many people told me not to. Maybe I do not believe the girl that fell in love with me is totally gone or maybe I do believe and know that now, but it doesnt matter now because I know sometimes life throws something at you that seems to be so unfair but it only makes you stronger and a better person once you get through it, no matter how long it takes. I want to say I never saw how great things could become when we first met, but I know this will only make me stronger and know what to do the next time something great comes along. I thank you for being you and I learnt many things from the past month. In a way I know if i just gave you space maybe things would have been different, but like I said you've made me learn not to make the same mistakes again. My self respect and dignity had to be saved by doing what I had to do 2 weeks ago. I do not want you to think that I hate you in any way because I do not. I only thank you for the person that you have always been when we were together. I only have good memories, and for sure they outnumber the bad times by infinity. I've realized that closure can not be given to me by anyone or you but only by myself and thus u do not need to explain or feel like you owe me an answer in the future, and its weird after sending you this I will in a way know that this is it, and I do not need to think or worry about why this happened, or all the what ifs. I thought I'd give you all the emails i have that you sent me and some that i sent you so when you're older and with the one, you can reminese and laugh at old times with your old bfs, because when I deleted all of mine before with kimberly its like I lost a part of who i am because that in a way is what made me who I am now. Please I am not emailing you to make you reconsider or cry or feel bad, I just want to leave the greatest times we had in the past 3 years to a great end, because thats what love is all about. Take care eva and I hope the future brings both of us the very best. " Jeff I know most of you say I shouldn't but i feel like if I send this I can move on finally in a way I have not been able to do. BC I know she won't email me back (99% sure) and after that it tells me look its meant to be this way and so now I should just move on and live my life. Or am i doing and taking this way out of proportion?

hey deejay, I totally sense and feel your pain at the same time as I am going through exactly the same thing (my post is right under you if you want to read it). Its been almost 3 weeks NC and I am so depressed, sad, angry, confused, hurt. I just want to lash out and talk to her but I know its not the right thing and you know that now after you went out with her that night to the art gallery (Ive been reading your posts). I wish I could tell you to not feel that way but I like you feel like it no matter how many people I talk to telling me time will fix all, and to move on as hard as I can. I feel with you man, and I really wish for you, me, and everyone else in this position for the very best in the near future. I am also seeing a girl right now but i still think of my ex like crazy. I am so confused as to whether I or we should even be seeing other girls. Post often man, bc I know I will during these tough times. Jeff

Hey daffycat, Hope your doing as okay. What happened if you don't mind sharing. Yeah today I woke up again feeling so sad, depressed, lonely, confused. And i wanted to call all her friends up today and ask them how is she doing this to me! is she not hurting! is she not depressed at all!?is she not thinking of what if...we get back together! Do you think I should even ask her friends? Anyways, I can't wait to share our stories in the future of us looking back at this and just laughing and knowing it only made us stronger. Please I'm here for you just like everybody else, do not hesistate to contact me. Jeff

read my post at the very bottom. Anyways, I like you or even worse am in a situation where after 1 week of my ex gf breaking up with me (we went out for 3 years) I met a girl at the bar. We have been seeing each other since. I do not know if she is totally rebound, all my friends say she is and that I should just cut it off, but I somehow cannot. I feel like I have a crush on her, or maybe something more and want to see how things go over time, but like I said in the post, I swear these past few days when I saw my ex for the first time since we broke up I broke down and felt like I started at day 1. I put my feelings aside right when I met this girl, and I strongly suggest DO NOT DO THAT. I just got home from a movie tonight with the girl I am seeing. She is sweet, shy, cute, but the only thing is I don't see myself being able to start a relationship with her, maybe because I just got out of one in which I thought my ex would be my wife. However, I am as confused, hurt, sad, depressed, angry as I was when we first broke up 2 weeks ago, bc I put my feelings aside. But yet I do not know if i should keep on seeing this girl.

Hey daffycat, I got 2 weeks until 20 days of break then I start Spring semester with 1 course. I just am trying my best to get through each day. But like today I can't even study, I have to always either be talking to someone or be with someone.

Thanks everyone for the support, it goes to show even though this happened 2 weeks ago and I felt fine, that you should never put your feelings to the side, in which I did because Ive been seeing this girl for the past 2 weeks and not really dealing with the hurt until now again, since the first few days of the breakup. I am so down, and I am just trying to get through my last semester in my 4th year of Biology. I felt like emailing my ex this morning after only 4 hrs of sleep. I dreamt of her of course, it was so vivid and real that I woke up wanting to email her. But is there even a point, I would email her probably saying how much I love her, and I wish her the best, and bring up certain memories to say that I loved them and to reminesce. Or am I just doing this because of what happened recently (if you read the posts leading up to this one) and that I want to see what she does. Ohhh I am so drained and tired, and I have a 3 hr physics lab right now that I just do not care about. I left right now just to come onto here to vent and talk. Thank you guys, I don't know what I would do if I didn't post here. Even though I have friends alot of them do not understand, and alot of them are busy now, being that FINALS are 1 1/2 weeks away.