kauaiangirl83

thanks a lot princess I think i just need to chill out.

You have to do what you think is best for you. If you tell him he might leave and if you don't tell him you might not be able to handle it. If you are going to tell him, the sooner the better. Hang in there!

While he has called me back, i'm still sorting through all these thoughts running in my head. I don't like it when we fight at all so i think that if we fight about something, talk about it and resolve it, we should be fine and not have to fight about it again. My bf, however, loves to (what seems to me) ignore the issue at hand. He gets frustrated when I "bring it up again." Just the mentioning of us being ok makes him angry and the cycle starts again with him hanging up on me. I dont' think it's cool that he does that, in fact i think it's childish, but i'm afraid to tell him this because he will get mad and hang up and this problem will erupt. i'm just confused right now...

the fact that my shy guy was mysterious really reeled me in.

Ok, here's the deal. My bf lives in San francisco and i live in hawaii and in 2 weeks i'm planning (or was planning) on moving in with him because living with my mom and her bf is just too unbearable for me. Anyways, last night, my bf called me after he said goodnight because he woke up to a horrible dream. I kissed another guy before we met in person (we met online) but we were basically together. This broke his trust and ever since then he's been having these horrible night mares about once or twice a week. I feel bad that he has to go through this and it makes me feel like he doesn't know that i love him. I haven't done anything close to this since then because i learned my lesson and i would hate to hurt him like i did. I'm still dealing with the guilt because i feel so bad even though this was Spring break of 2003. I reassure him that i love him and that i know that he loves me and we say goodnight. He tells me that we can have a "special morning" aka phone sex before he goes to work. Last night, I couldn't sleep very well because i have a cold so i was up most of the night blowing my nose which sucked really bad. So when he called me at 5:30 am I was awake. my cell phone rang twice and then he hung up. I called him back and we talked for a little bit, just said good morning blah blah blah. I asked him if he slept better after we talked and he said yes. I told him that i didn't sleep too well, but i was glad that i got to talk to him before work. I started to tell him about a sexual dream that i had about us kinda expecting to get things started if you know what i mean. Anyways, then he tells me that he's not in the mood. And i'm shocked. He is always in the mood unless he's mad at me. So i asked him what's wrong and he says that the dream really messed with his head so he doesn't feel like it this morning. I took it as he was punishing me for kissing that guy like over a year ago. My bf then got upset when i was asking him for a reason. I felt like he didn't want me at all anymore. And just the night before he was crying to me saying that he really wanted me to come over there soon because he misses me and he's lonely. Am i totally not making any sense? I feel like such a jerk for feeling this way. He said that he needed to cool off and take a shower and when he'd call back, everything would be a- ok. I didn't like this idea so i asked him if we could just make up real quick before he got in the shower. this made him more mad. He said that he loved me and that he was going to hang up, but while he was saying that i was like please can we just try this one time, but he hung up on me. When he called me back later, he seemed fine, but i was pissed because he had hung up on me and i think that's totally rude, but i dont' know how to get him to stop doing that. When i told him this, he hung up on me again. I tried to call him back, but he's not answering his phone. I'm really confused. Has anyone else gone through this? If you've gotten this far, please help me...Any advice is better than nothing. Thanks so much... When

When i'm super stressed, i talk to my best friend or go out or exercise or write in my journal. You should try some of these things and find things that help you get your stress out of your system. The worst thing you can do is let it build up inside you. I also come on here and read about what other people are going through. I've noticed that helping others really helps me in the process. I'm sorry that you're going through a rough time right now. Hang in there!

My mom's side of the family are super paranoid too. I'm also part asian (filipino). I think that a lot of parents are strict because they care. they are over protective because they don't want us to get hurt, but what they don't understand is that they are hurting us in the long run. My mom and i don't have a good relationship at all. They only thing she has taught me to do is to worry and be paranoid, don't trust anyone or anything. I'm 21 and she let's me leave the house or whatever, but she's constantly asking me when do I work and what time will I be home and what did you do today, etc. It really gets old fast. I guess what i'm saying is that I have learned from my mom how not to treat my children. You should do the same. Hope this helps.

Thanks for the advice guys. I guess i should just be stoked that i'll be out of this hell hole soon If you have any other suggestions, let me know...

You need to be upfront and honest about how you feel. The longer you wait, the harder it's gonna be to tell her. Make sure that this is what you want...don't make any rash decisions.

My mom and dad split for good when i was 10 (11 years ago) they still remain friends which i think is cool. Her bf now, she's been with him for 7 years. At first he was nice to me, he would talk to me and tell me about his family and stuff. I get along with his daughter who is 14 really well. But the thing is now that my mom's bf just annoys me all the time. He doesn't care about me at all. He doesn't talk to me unless he needs me to do something for him. Yesterday I was relaxing at home and he was home all day too and he didnt' say a single word to me. He's also really rude, he'll wake me up super early because he was just too loud. I've never seen him do anything around the house at all so me and my mom get stuck cleaning. I've only seen him wash the dishes ONCE in the entire 7 years that i've known him and I think that's sad. As for the relationship with him and my mom, I can't really tell how it's going. They aren't affectionate at all. And they've never said I love you in front of me. I do know that something must be going ok since they've been together for 7 years. I don't really know how to cope. I'm moving to San Francisco to be with my boyfriend, but until then my mom's bf will continue to make me angry. I've talked to my mom about this and nothing seems to improve. I've tried talking to my mom's bf, but i can't really understand him when he talks because english is his 2nd language. If anyone can help me, that would be really great... Thanks in advance.

I would tell my children about their brother or sister that had passed away. My boyfriend's parents had their first child die from sids and they told my boyfriend and his 2 brothers about it. Every year they talk about Crystal and remember her short life. My bf wasn't born yet and he didn't know Crystal at all, but she is remembered and I know that my bf appreciates knowing about her.

I know that long distance relationships are super hard. I am in one right now too. I think that what helps for me while my bf is miles away is to stay busy. i have started reading a lot and spending time with my girlfriends more. I write my bf a lot too when i can't talk to him because i also feel like talking on the phone and instant messaging aren't enough. With time it'll get easier. I know that it's way easier said than done, but trust me and before you know it, it'll be time for you to be together again.

Why are you planning on proposing if your not sure? i couldn't help but think that if you did propose, but realized later that you didn't want to get married to Ana, you would feel horrible breaking it off. What if you went through with it, but you weren't really happy, so you decided to get a divorce? I just think that you should know for sure that you want to be with someone for the rest of your life before asking the question. About Bea, I'm not really sure what to say about that. Maybe you think your attracted to her because she's comfortable? I'm not sure. Hang in there!

i'm reading Men are from mars, women are from venus and it's been totally helping me. It seems like he just needs his space (i don't think you were harsh in saying that at all). Men like to solve their problems on their own because that's how they think. If they can't solve a problem then they feel inadequate or whatever. I have learned this from experience with my bf. The best thing to do is leave them alone. Stay busy. When he's ready to talk to you, he will, just give him time and try not to worry about him.

I think that the week off is a good idea, you need to figure out what you want. You need to understand your reasoning if you really do want to be single again or if you want to continue with this relationship. Don't stay with him because you feel bad if you break up with him. you'll only hurt him and yourself more. I did this with my ex bf because i felt bad for him and he told me that if I ever left him that he would kill himself. I was terrified and not happy at all and finally it was too much for me. I decided to leave him and I told him that it wasn't him at all, I just wasn't happy. He didn't kill himself, he got over it. I haven't talked to him since we broke up which is fine with me. it's probably better this way. I hope that this helps at least a little.

I'm pretty sure that no contact means no calling, writing, visiting, iming, text messaging, emailing...NOTHING. If she keeps calling you, you should not answer the phone when she calls so that you'll have the time that you need to heal. If you keep talking to her, she might think that there's a chance that you two will get back together...(I'm not sure if you wanted out, or she did or both). Hope this helps.

hi there, My family doesn't like my bf either and at times it's been hard, but i've decided that i can't just ignore my feelings for my boyfriend. We've been together for a year and a half despite what my parents think. I hate that i have to choose between them because my parents are important to me but so is he. My thinking is that i can't live my life without regrets at all. i'm moving to San Francisco to be with my boyfriend even though my mom is trying to stop me from going. I have to be able to make my own decisions and I've decided that i'm going. I hope that this helps at least a little... take care.

Hey Hannah, Trust me, you'll be happier in the long run. I know that it's so not easy to break up with anyone, but with time you will heal. Be strong. When i was in the same situation, my friends were totally there to help me. They reminded me that my happiness was not being achieved because his mom was always getting in the way and even when i asked him to "stick up for me" he wouldn't and I realized that he wasn't going to change and that meant things weren't going to change. So stay strong...you can email me if you wanna talk or whatever at email removed...

Hi, I'm sorry that things are going rough for you and your family right now. I admire you for doing the absolute best that you can. About your husband getting more angry and abusive, perhaps it's the medication he's on? I don't think it's cool at all that he's snapping at you...maybe you should talk to his dr. about it? I don't think that you seeing your friend who is your daughter's ex's mom was wrong. I think that every woman needs friends to talk to. If my mom talked to my ex's mom I would feel kinda awkward, honestly, but you said that you mostly talked about what's going on in your life, not your daughter's and her son's, right? How old are your daughters? Maybe they can help with some of the errands and things that need to be done around the household? Most importantly, you seem like your getting burned out. You absolutely need to do something for yourself. You need to get a pedicure or take a nice bubble bath or just relax something for you. I hope this helps!

My ex boyfriend acted like a baby and his mom would always get into our business and it made me so mad. It was like we couldn't do anything without the approval of his mom. After awhile, I broke up with him because it was getting too much for me. Your bf's mom may be doing this because she thinks that she'll lose her little boy now that he's in a relationship with you. I know that it's hard to just ignore it because you don't have to be nice to his son, but you are because you care about him and anyone that he cares about as well. You might need to think about if you can handle this or not. I decided that i couldn't handle it so i got out. It was still a rough break up (his mom called the cops on me for no reason) but i'm much happier away from them and with my new bf. Pm me if you want to talk more...

I've been super depressed and emotional since i got on the shot and my dr. recommended that i get on the patch too. Thanks for the advice... Just one question: Do i have to wait 12 weeks after i got my last depo shot to get on the patch? And does it cost a lot of money to get on the patch? Thanks!

I don't think your over reacting at all!!! I would be so pissed if that happened to me. You told him that it was cool if you guys had a threesome, but that's what you wanted, and you were clearly left out. I'm kinda curious as to why he can have sex with that girl, but doesn't with you. I think you need to take a break. And figure out what you really want...

Hi, thanks for pming me. I agree with most of the people that already posted. I think that you really need to let go and try to make urself happy without him. Don't worry so much about what he's doing and concentrate on yourself. i know that you care about him a lot. That's understandable since you were with him for 4 years. I think that you should email his mom back. If he really wants to get back with you, he knows how. He knows where you live, he could stop by or whatever. I know that it's hard to be patient, so do something that gets ur mind off of him. Hang in there!

I totally understand where you're coming from. My bf and ur bf have some similarities. I guess what I can tell you is that if he really loves you, he'll come back. Things won't be all peachy right away, but if he comes back, you need to make it clear that you don't like it when he just breaks up with you for no reason. Maybe you should take a break and do the things that you would do when you weren't in a relationship like spend time with your friends, watch chick flick movies, read a good book. I've been in your situation before and sometimes you need to give your guy his space... Hope this helps!

Hi I agree with the other posts. It seems like everyone gets down at some point and all you can do is reach out to others. I have also felt like this and sometimes I still do. you're doing a great job at asking for help. At least it shows that you want to change and that's half the battle. I think the thing that helped me the most with getting slowly out of my depression was staying busy. I made myself get up in the morning, take a shower, eat something even if i didn't want to. I would go to the mall or something by myself or go to the library or bookstore and get absorbed by a really good book. Figure out what you really like to do and do it. Get your mind off of all the bad things and try to find something that makes you happy. I also just started working and a girl befriended me. We talk a lot and that really helps. Whenever I can, I write in my journal so that I can get all my emotions out too. I hope that this helps...Take care! You are not alone!