kauaiangirl83

He says that he's embarrassed that she has to see us fight. he's ashamed and doesn't want to see her for the rest of the time she's here...

this friend is my best friend since the fifth grade. She will be here for 3 more days...hope this helps

my bf and i got into a fight over something very minor. my friend is here visiting me from out of town and since we fought over the little thing, my bf has moved himself into the living room. he doesn't want to talk to me much. He's sending me mixed signals. He has said i love you, but i'm not in love with you, but he says that he will go to couples counseling with me. i'm not really sure what i should do because i feel like i have no choice but to wait around for him. he said that as soon as my friend is gone things will be back to 'normal'. it breaks my heart that he's extremely depressed, but everytime i suggest that he go talk to someone, he doesn't want to, he'd rather work it out on his own. Unfortunately, this hasn't been working. Does anyone have any ideas for me? i'm not sure what i should do at all...

hi everyone, thanks for the support, at least i know that I'm not the only one with a shady bf. Sorry to hear about your situation devious. They always say boys will be boys. With my bf nothing that i know of has happened that would make him really upset. when i ask what's on his mind, he tells me everything is fine, but then he doesn't want to spend time with me or hang out with me. I don't want to be suspicious, but he's been hanging out with this girl from his work alot because they work the same days and they've been getting close (taking the bus home together, etc.) I would like to think that she's more my friend than his because i've spent more time with this girl one on one outside of work(we work for the same company. My bf and I have been having money problems and i b!tch a lot when things are bad, but even when after i've stopped that things, in my opinon haven't gotten better. tomorrow it makes one week since we started fighting. It's never ever been this bad. Please help!!!

Does anyone else have anything advice for me?

We've been together over 2 years and we're living together. We're practically engaged. I say practically because we've agreed to get married, but he hasn't officially gotten down on one knee and asked me with a ring to give me. I know lots of people who aren't necessarily married that need to go for couples counseling.

Hi everyone, Me and my bf are fighting again. For the past 4 days we've been fighting and I have no idea why. When I ask him what's up, he says that he's fine, but he's not acting like everything's good. For instance, when things are going good, he's very touchy feely-likes to cuddle, etc. These past few days he hasn't even touched me once...seriously. He keeps going over to friend's houses to help them out with their computer problems. I don't suspect him of cheating, but he is acting shady. Last night, i tried to just chill and do my own thing and only talk to him when he talks to me, but he seemed to enjoy that. I'm seriously considering leaving because this problem always comes up. What should I do? We have an appointment for couples counseling in 2 weeks, but i'm not sure if i can wait that long for things to resolve. Please help me!

Thanks so much everyone for your input. I'll suggest that we should start exercising more together. I was worried that it was me, but i realize that it isn't me. If anyone has anything else to contribute, don't hesitate. Thanks again! i'll post again and let you guys know how it goes.

hi, my bf and i have been dating for 2 years and things have had it's ups and downs, but things have been going good for awhile. the only thing is that when we have sex, sometimes my bf can't cum. he gets all sweaty and over heats. we have a fan that we use, but lately this hasn't been cutting it. can anyone help me?

hi, I can relate to thinking about your ex even after things go bad. My ex used to hit me and sometimes i still think about him even though i'm with someone that does make me happy. Whenever there's a break up, the best thing for you to do is to keep yourself busy. Hang out with your girls or try something new that you've always wanted to do. Just do something and you'll feel better, i promise. you can pm me if you need to. Take care!

hi everyone, it's been awhile since i've posted on here. I have since moved to San Francisco to be with my bf. I found a good paying job and things seem to be moving forward. But this morning, we had a falling out over something seriously stupid. Since the argument, i have calmed down thanks to a good friend, but my bf is still not here. I know that guys feel like they have to get away sometimes and they go for walks or whatever to calm down, but what do girls do when they are in this situation? I have already taken a shower, talked to a friend and that has helped me a lot, but I'm kinda out of ideas. i have guilt issues where if i have fun right now that i'm not being a good enough gf. if anyone has ever been in my situation or if you have any ideas with what i could do feel better, please let me know! thanks in advance!

I agree with Empathy. I do that too sometimes...but I can see from a guy's point of view how much that can hurt.

I know that it irked him a lot when i said that nothing is wrong because he would like me to just be straight-forward with him and i understand that. I tried telling him that he needs to let go of the past and really give me a chance, but he says that he can forgive me, but just not forget. I still don't know what to do. He called this morning, but i didn't answer my phone. I'm questioning whether or not I should give my 2 weeks at work. I want to be with him and i know that it can work out, but we really need to sit down and talk about stuff, but i don't know if he's gonna go for that: guys hate it when we say, "We need to talk" so yah. Hopefully he'll be nicer to me today, but seriously i don't know where this relationship is going. I'm willing to leave my friends and family and move 3000 miles away, but i'm not willing to go somewhere that i'm not safe and somewhere that i'll worry about whether or not this is going to work... thanks for your replies, any more questions, comments or ideas would be super helpful.

my bf and i are in a LDR and soon I am moving into his apt. If you have followed my posts, you know that I've been going through a lot these past few weeks. I got into a fight with my grandma today because she was verbally abusive and i told her to stop, I hate my mom's bf, and my bf and I were in a tough spot. My bf and i resolved our issues and we were doing good. We were happy for awhile and I thought that things were definitely looking up for us. I bought my tickets to move to be with him and everything. Today started out really good. But then, after getting into a fight with my mom about whether or not I should go to san franciso, everything got turned upside down. I called my bf to tell him that I loved him right after the fight because I was upset. He said that he needed to go and that he'll call me back later. Later I found out that he had told me he needed to go because he was reading a book and I was seriously irked by that. When he did call me back later, i was super annoyed at the whole world. Does anyone else get like this? When he asked me what was wrong, i said nothing. (is that a lie?) but then everything came out about what was wrong. He said that I lied to him and basically now everything is a huge mess. On top of that, my best friend is having issues with her land lord so i was trying to keep it together so I could help her out, but I don't think i did too good of a job. My bf called me several hours later and really gave it to me. He said that I have a serious problem with lying. I don't think that I do. I mean, everyone lies once in awhile, but i would never lie to him to hurt him. I'm supposed to give my 2 weeks at work tomorrow, but i'm not sure anymore. My bf also said that he can't marry a liar but he's not gonna leave me and he is going to give me another chance. I'm feeling like he's just keeping count of every single time i lied to him. I know that i've hurt him in the past many many times. I even kissed another guy and didn't come clean and one of my "friends" ratted me out. My bf tells me that everytime I lie, even if it's the littlelest lie ever like nothing's wrong when there really is something wrong, it's still a lie and that triggers memories to when i first lied about kissing the other guy. Does this make sense to anyone? I told him that he needs to work though his issues with that because it's not relavent to this issue, but he said that it is his issue. He can totally trust me when we're happy, but when he finds out that i lied, he has absolutely no trust and i have to start from ground zero. I know that i should pay for my consequences, but isnt' there a time when he should somehow be able to seriously forgive me? I don't rub his mistakes in his face at all. I try to just resolve them and move on, but that's not what he does. What should I do? I really need insight and advice. If you read this far please drop me a note. Thanks a lot....

It seems to me that he really does like you, but he's just been busy. I do know that sometimes guys pull away when they feel they're getting too close so this may be it, but I think you should just be patient. He obviously likes you, but he just has a lot going on right now.

What's the difference between a fight and an argument?

Hi everyone, Just an update real quick for those of you that have been following my posts: things are getting much better in regards to my mom's bf and my bf. My grandma is visiting and my entire life she's put me down. She tells me that I'm too fat and that i need to lose weight. she also needs to lose weight herself. All my life, she's been telling me this and when i was 16, i became anorexic because i wanted my family to be happy with me. I thought that i would be happier, but i wasn't and with the help of friends I got better. Now, 5 years later, my grandma tells me that i SHOULD starve myself and I should lose weight. I'm a lot happier overall, but my self esteem and self image is totally messed up. My bf is getting frustrated that he has to constantly reassure me that i am hot and that he thinks i'm perfect just the way I am. I just don't know how to stop the verbal abuse and stop believing it. I know that my grandma loves me and that's how she shows that she cares, by telling me how to be better, but it really affects me a lot. I don't want to confront her about it and start a fight because i do want to be respectful, but this is just too much...

As some of you know, my bf and i were just recently in a tough spot these past few days. i've learned to just be quiet and not force the issue on him when he gets mad and needs his space, but he still hasn't really opened up. *sigh* I guess i can't do anything about that. Anyways, I've started to let go and he's calling me more and things are looking up. My problem is that on Tuesday everything was peachy and he wanted me to give my 2 weeks notice at my job so that i could move to the mainland with him. Then yesterday (Thurs.) he tells me that we have stuff to work out and that he doesn't think that we're ready to be together yet because we're always fighting about the same stuff blah blah blah. That really hurt a lot because i'm anxious to leave home. Then today when things are getting slowly better, he tells me to put in my 2 weeks notice. I'm not sure what to do. i want to be with him and move up there, but i'm not sure if we're ready. i don't want to burst his bubble by bringing up crap when I've tried so hard to let it go which could cause another argument. I know that he needs me up there both for financial reasons (I gotta get a job to pay the rent) and emotional ones. Should I give my 2 weeks notice soon? Thanks for you help in advance.

Thanks a lot upstate medic.. Is it a coincidence (sp?) that i am currently reading Men are from Mars, women are from Venus? I'm almost done. I know that he's retreating into his cave and that i need to just let him do so, but it's way easier said than done. Maybe it would be easier if he did fix it while he's in his cave, but that's not the case. Thanks for your input... kauaiangirl83

After thinking about it and reading your posts, I decided that talking to Caylan is totally not worth even a chance at possibly losing sterling. Thanks guys for waking me up!

I was on myspace and my bf's former best friend emailed me and wants to talk to me. Sterling (my bf) and caylan aren't friends anymore because caylan liked me alot. He called me and said that he would pay for my plane ticket to come spend the weekend with him and no one would know. I didn't go for that at all. I told my bf about it and he was so mad at his friend. Later on, Sterling was talking to a mutual friend and found out that caylan had told their group of friends that me and caylan had hooked up. That was the farthest thing from the truth. Caylan was my good friend. He was always there when times were tough between me and Sterling. Caylan's gf was my roomate in college so basically he was there 24/7. Now that he wants to get back in contact with me is really weird. I haven't talked to him since may. I'm not sure that talking to Caylan will be a good idea because i know that Sterling will get SUPER upset, but at the same time, Caylan was there for me before... I don't know, should i talk to him?

Hi princess, Thanks so much for your input. I have heard from him a few times, but things aren't going so well. I posted another thingy...maybe you should read that for the details. This morning, he calls me to tell me that he's going to work or whatever and i'm like ok. He asks me what's my problem and i said you just woke me up, give me a minute. He sounds like crap again this morning and i just don't understand why. I think that if he sounds happy and is fine the next day, i can be fine too, but that doesn't seem to happen. He said that he doesn't want me to move up to San francisco as soon as we had wanted to because he doesn't think it's going to work out. I don't even know what we're fighting about anymore. I'm fed up and i don't know what to do. I love him so much, but i'm hurting so bad. When i told him nicely that it's not just my fault and he contributes to the pain too he hung up on me. He's just a wuss sometimes. I think that he's the one prolonging this fight because he tells me everything is fine, but then they're totally not fine at all. And he expects me to be fine after he breaks his promises to me. I feel like i'm not worth anything to him when he gets like this. I try to tell him how i feel without making him feel bad, but he doesnt' care and he's pushing me farther and farther away... Someone please help me!!!

when i said that i cheated on him, i kissed another guy before we met in person. My current bf took my virginity at age 20. Anyways, I didn't tell him, my so called best friend at the time felt like she needed to tell him herself.

My grandpa passed away about a year and a half ago and it was an extremely hard time for me because he was like a dad to me. I was away at college and I could not come home for the funeral because my family couldn't afford my plane ticket. If I didn't have great friends at my school, i don't know how i would have made it. It's not what they said to me that made me feel better, but just knowing that they were there for me for support eased the pain a little. I know that seeing your friend hurt is hard because we don't like seeing people that we care about upset. But I think the best thing for you to do is to just be there for her. Listen to her. Invite her to the movies. Give her hugs. That's what got me through a super tough time. i hope it helps your friend too.

Yah i understand what you guys are saying. I just hate how we're always fighting over the same stuff. should i just ignore it when it comes up? How do i just let it go?