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tylercdurden2004

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Everything posted by tylercdurden2004

  1. tylercdurden2004
    Aschleigh that really sucks. Being friends after the relationship is something that really shouldnt be bothered with. By that I mean really you shoudlnt put any effort into being friends with them. It either happens naturally or it doesnt. The whole "trying" to be friends is crazy. Nobody "tries" to be friends with there normal everyday friends do they? I am friends with most of my exes. By that I mean i talk to them occasionally thats it. When its done its done and its very difficult to go backwards once you have been somewhere. I think its a psychological thing where people dont want to lose. The try and try to keep something going whether its friendship or for something more. Isnt there other people out there more deserving of your time? Thats the only way you will make peace.
  2. tylercdurden2004
    Mate shes sound immature. Tell her to go find someone else. The one thing Librans or not, that you do not need in your life is to be a babysitter. Trust me on this one. It may sound nice in the beginning but over time its very tiring. Showing your love etc doesnt mean its entirley on her terms.
  3. tylercdurden2004
    At the end of the day its up to you. Those comments dont really look to bad to me. However her response "She told me that it's nothing and she's just being friendly. That she loves me and would never do anything like cheating, because it's happened to her in the past. " Means nothing really. I would bet all the cash I have in the bank that 99% of people who have been cheated on have been told this. You need to not pay attention to this and focus on her actions and if it bothers you that she even looks at another guy you need to let her know. Its no use feeling hurt about something and letting it continue. You show and lead with your actions not your mouth. If you dont like the colour purple would you date a girl who wore all purple? So if you dont like her going on MySpace and flirting with guys you need to let her know. Its more fair to both you and her because she can decide if you are the right guy for her and you can decide the same. Maybe she needs to find a guy who is totally cool with her being on Myspace, I dont know. But I do know you need to set YOUR boundaries wherever they may lie.
  4. tylercdurden2004
    In finance there would be quite a few. Actually that is a very good qualifcation to have. You could get a a job at a bank for instance and if they like what you do they can keep you on permanently. If you are from one of the Commonwealth countries Canada, Britain Australia etc then you are gold because you can get a one year visa for these countries quite easily. A good idea is to pre-apply for the jobs you are intested in. You can get your visa and a couple of months before you are due to leave send out applications to companies via internet job sites, newspaper websites from that country etc This means you could have a job when you land there. Then you have one year to prove yourself and your worth for them to keep you on longer. Cant be that hard eh?
  5. tylercdurden2004
    Working holiday visas are a good way to get into the country. If you can apply depends on the country you are from and if you are generally under the age of 30. I did this for 4 years but more for exploring the world than career. but once you are there you can look for career work if you are qualified. To get into a job oversees without a visa is very difficult as it costs companies money and generally they have to prove a local cannot do the same job. To much risk and money for an unskilled position such as lifeguard. Nursing is definitely hot and everywhere is gagging for nurses. You have to decide what you want though. i currently work for a fortune 500 country and live overseas again, but as a career move I dont not get to travel in the strictest sense. This is usually the case. When you are working as an expat you usally do travelling only as a business purpose. The money is great as an expat and you should look at things like tax free benefits. if I stay out of my country for 6 months or more then I dont have to pay taxes back home. I work in a place that doesnt have income taxes so everything I make is diposible income. Other places may charge you more taxes etc so you have to strongly consider this. Plus most companies have expat packages where you get uplifts or an extra percentage of your base for living abroad. There is a lot to consider when making this step. If its money you are after it definitely a good step.
  6. tylercdurden2004
    I agree with Heloladies. I cant fathom why this would be OK and by not saying anything you are setting the boundaries way too loosley my friend. So what do you do when she starts to really see where your boundaries are? Test test test.
  7. tylercdurden2004
    Its still an issue of respect. Regardless of how far it went. Yes cheating is forgivable but you can only love as much as you respect.
  8. tylercdurden2004
    To me its an issue of respect. Would you have done this while your SO was there? I think Allies story lays it out pretty clearly, the "risks" invovled. However again its an issue of respect and you showed your SO a great deal of disrespect, which seems to me to be one of the key factors in a healthy relationship. Whether or not something needs to be fixed is irrelevant. Lots of things in life need to be fixed it howver does not give us licence to go ahead and do things just because we "feel"like it. I would be asking myself why have so little respect for the person I love.
  9. tylercdurden2004
    Well if you have feelings for another person why are you with your SO?
  10. tylercdurden2004
    Dont even bother. Let her be in her own merry little world. Dont get caught up in the games.
  11. tylercdurden2004
    Not that it will really help much but life just sucks sometimes and that sometimes can last a while. Personally my last years and a half have been less than stellar and seem to be continuing in the same direction. Not much has been things that I can control. Hang in there and try to focus on the positive and maybe try soem new things to take your mind off the bad an give you the opportunity to rethink things in a different light. Cheers.
  12. tylercdurden2004
    No offence but who cares what shes been through. Is she treating you a certain way because she has been through something? You may care about her a great deal and thats fine but in no way should you let it excuse her behaviour towards you or others. It only teaches her that her behaviour is ok. If this is ongoing for 6 months now and you are not healing then you need to be alot firmer. Remember Good girls dont confuse you infact if she really wanted to be with you there is no way she would risk losing you by "being confused" about your relationship with her. She keeps you hanging on. Thats too bad.
  13. tylercdurden2004
    I think CBT and brainwashing are two different things. CBT allows for the person to make a decision for themselves brainwashing involves the removal of other options or opinions. There is nothing wrong with getting someone to do something you want them to do, its all in how you do it. EG. Forcing someone to do something through physical force - generally bad. Presenting options in which the "most preferred" is what you want the person to do - generally good. It all up to each individual to make the choice. CBT is not about taking those choices away.
  14. tylercdurden2004
    Personally I would ask the question why her and her friend are so immature? I see this as the problem and to me its clear she is trying to get under your skin to see how you will react. Dont worry about her past sexual exploits worry about yours. But at the end of the day do you really want to date someone with the maturity of a gnat? Your choice. Personally I would drop her. Experience shows immature women are not worth any of your time.
  15. tylercdurden2004
    Yeah they are an excellent band.
  16. tylercdurden2004
    No offence mate but you are setting yourself up here for a big fall. It may have to happen to you for you to realize it. Again after two years of friendship she didnt choose to be with you why? She isnt attracted to you in the way you are attracted to her. Intimacy is what makes a friendship different from a relationship. She does not want to get intimate with you because she sees you as a friend no matter how you feel about her. She is using you to get over her ex and the thought of being alone.
  17. tylercdurden2004
    If she has that much of an issue of self control that she won kiss you in order to maintain do you not wonder in waht other areas of her life this lack of self control can be a problem? If she feels it then what is the issue of kissing you? Its a kiss. Clearly you like physical intimacy from what you have stated you are not happy with the current status quo. I call BS on this. If its true she has an issue with self control then as I stated above. Lacking self control is more than likely going to put a strain on your relationship. If its the fact that she doesnt want to kiss you because she is unsure of her feelings I guess after one month she should knwo either way. Its possibel she could be playing a game to see how long you will hold out and wait for her. Its too hard to tell what her true intentions are but again to me the self control commment sets off bells in my head. Try telling her "Hey, I think its great you are looking to get some self control and sort your life out, I think maybe you need some time to figure this out." Give her her space and see what happens.
  18. tylercdurden2004
    Her fresh baked cookies?
  19. tylercdurden2004
    I wouldnt contact her, thats my view. Forget about her and move on. As for explaining yourself. You dont need to nor should you. If people need to believe gossip without evidence then let them. Its there loss. By trying to defend and explain yourself you only feed into their BS. Be the bigger man, person whatever.
  20. tylercdurden2004
    Mate unfortunately yours is a perfect example of why when you here the phrase "I need space" or any other variation of it its best to walk away. Say "yeah your right. I respect you and you can have all teh space you want." Sadly this is the way many women break up with guys and foolishly many guys listen to what the girl says instead of looking at how she acts. Think about it. If you really really are into someone would YOU risk losing them by telling them you need space. My guess is no, I know I certainly woudlnt. You just have to accept she wanst all that into you and has found a better option. Hurts but its better to face the music sooner than later because you are going to have to listen to it eventually. Dont listen to what people say strictly but what their actions and see if the actions are congruent with what the person says. Male or female.
  21. tylercdurden2004
    Dont get friends invovled with relationships. Ever. To many cooks in the kitchen and things get confusing in a hurry. You dont know what everyones intentions are and the more people you have with more intentions involved to more out of control it gets. Talk to her one on one or dont talk to her at all and ask your friends to butt out and mind their own business.
  22. tylercdurden2004
    Good girls dont confuse you. Simple yet unbelievably true.
  23. tylercdurden2004
    Why phone if you can be together? The phone is very impersonal.
  24. tylercdurden2004
    Mate she had feelings for another guy. Thats a pretty strong reason to break up. That is if she really wanted to be with you no other guy woud matter. I think you shouldnt look at this too lightly. I think you a putting too much on yourself and ignoring the fact that it may very well be that you are not what she is looking for change or not.
  25. tylercdurden2004
    Well beer's still with me and I get a fresh selection anytiem I want. I made the right choice.
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