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tylercdurden2004 last won the day on January 31 2009

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About tylercdurden2004

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  • Birthday 08/14/1976
  1. Actually I did. Now whether I loved her "enough" or not is irrelevant because we simply werent compatible. We never would have been. Love has little to do with it. Compatibility has everything to do with it. In fact I loved many girls since the then. All for different reasons. Some of them I moved around alot on and had LDR etc. The realtionships never ended because of this. They ended because we simply werent compatible. You are correct if the "follow my dream or its over" is the message than the relationship is most likely not the priority. Just the same as "I am not moving because of my
  2. CAD 4 hours is not a compromise. There is no such thing in this case really. If he were to compromise would them moving only half the way to New Zealand be suitable. The OP certainly needs to sit down and have a think about what it is he wants in life. If the need to travel is his dream then maybe he should persue it. I know I did. Did I have to give up things? Yup. But I ended up better that I can imagine I would have had I not in every facet from experience to my careeer to my GF who I met abroad. Either way the cookie crumbles someone is going to have to give something up here.
  3. From what I understood its not that she didnt want to go but that she didnt want to leave her family. These are two different things.
  4. What part of it do you regret? What caused you to regret your decision? Was the relationship a regret and would it have been different had you guys not moved abroad?
  5. I dont think anyone is mistaking a vacation for living there. There are however many things to consider. Lifestyle is one of them. For instance if I am not mistaken New Zealand has universal healthcare. The US does not. For raising a family this could make a huge difference. From teachers I know that were from the US and doing an exchange in Austalia/NZ the school system is better. That can make a difference in raising a family. Being closer to your family can offer you more support. However in my experience having lived in many countries (including the US) over the last 8 years its not
  6. Personally getting over infidelity is a very difficult process. Counselling may help but really only if the parties are at an impass and cannot bring the issues to the surface. The real work however begins and ends with you. For one, there are probably issues that in the relationship "casued" you to cheat. That is something both of you will have to work on. Two whatever reasons "caused" you to cheat, you still made that choice. This is where the hard part is and where you will have to work your butt off for what might be for naught. You will have to do everything in your power to ensure
  7. I guess the old adage applies: cant judge it until you try it.
  8. The bolded statement assumes one must give up family when they move away. This is untrue. You said you live a 2 hour flight away from your mother. How often do you visit with your mother?
  9. Certainly if you have discussed having the family and have agreed that you will be the breadwinner then that means she is going to have to accept some level of moving. Unless of course your jobs for the next 40 years are going to be in the town you live in. If she wants to be close to her family ask her what her limits are then. Is a 1 hour flight away too much? How about 2 hours? 1 day? Most people have little understanding of what it means to move away. I hear all sorts of irrational comments about having to stay home vs moving away. At the end of the day its their comments that apply
  10. So how long will personal circumstances prevent you from going after your ambitions? At the end of the day she may not want to go because she wants to be near her family. But whoes to say her family wont leave her? Frankly you are putting off what you want to do based on something someone else wants to do but that they have no control over. You are in essense giving you power away to not just your GF but her family. I've lived abroad for 8 or so years now. Best thing I ever did but thats just me. The poster above has a good point too. What if she decides to leave you in a years time?
  11. Its still an issue of respect. Regardless of how far it went. Yes cheating is forgivable but you can only love as much as you respect.
  12. To me its an issue of respect. Would you have done this while your SO was there? I think Allies story lays it out pretty clearly, the "risks" invovled. However again its an issue of respect and you showed your SO a great deal of disrespect, which seems to me to be one of the key factors in a healthy relationship. Whether or not something needs to be fixed is irrelevant. Lots of things in life need to be fixed it howver does not give us licence to go ahead and do things just because we "feel"like it. I would be asking myself why have so little respect for the person I love.
  13. Well if you have feelings for another person why are you with your SO?
  14. I second scruff on this one. I love the "list" part. My recent breakup after a second go at it with the ex was very different from the first break up. This time I realized there were a lot of negatives about her, more serious than little annoying things, and I stopped putting her on the pedestal that so often happens. I actually felt very little loss this time because I had made a list of things that were negative and yeah I realized "what the h*** was I doing with her"!
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