audreypoulain

Thanks for your words and advice Teardrops, Bethany, Psychlocke. Your experiences Teardrops have helped me see that I am not alone in what I feel. Somebloke who is a guy just doesnt understand how it is to be bullied at work by a bunch of men. Sorry to leave some information out but I am the only woman that works at night from 5-5am with a bunch of men who sometimes would want to ask me out or would bullied me a lot. It was a bunch of men who allied themselves and reported to Human Resources against me! and I thought some of these guys were my friends. The backstabbing from these men has made me feel weak and to feel depressed about it, I couldn't stop crying the other night and I was driving home wanting to end it all because I couldn't get passed the fact that is something wrong with me? what did I do to deserve this? its like the world against me. I am trying to understand this but I feel that at 26 yrs old I dont know if I could handle moving forward to a new job with feelings of not trusting anyone in the world. I guess I can understand how people alll of a sudden drop and disappear from their life or walk away and start a new life or just become hermits living in some cave somewhere or worse think of suicide to end all misery.

Well I was backstabbed by some friends at work. I never knew that people I thought I could talk to and be friendly and sometimes talk my life to would stab me in the back and cost me my job. I was placed on suspension with pay from work but I feel this shouldn't have happened to me. People at work made false allegations agaisnt me that I was not helping them out and that I was listening to music and not doing my job. I was on a lunch break! i can do what I want, but yet they went to Human Resources and file complaints about me. I feel extremely hurt about the backstabbing supposed friends did to me that it makes me see the whole world as one big joke. I feel like whats the point in trying to make new friends or seek new things when there is so much hate, jealousy, backstabbing going on, its really impossible to trust someone in today's world. I feel that if I commit suicide I dont have to deal with this anymore and not have to endure being stabbed like Julius Ceasar or crucified by Jesus by people who are supposed friends. What kind of life can I live after this traumatic experience? I'll always live in fear about trusting people and will end up isolated from the world, this trauma has made me scared of the world and of starting all over in a new job. Why continue living? our life is about MONEY..and thats why we go to school for better job, we try to have this money to have someone to love us by taking them out for movies, etc. I have been considering dying by driving my car at 140mph around 2am early hours and hitting a guardrail on the highway with no seatbelt...but I just can't seem to release the belt...if I wasn't afraid of pain I would so kill myself right now. Life really isn't worth living if you can't trust anyone or to be backstabbed...

I recently stumbled upon my exboyfriend's myspace and feel tempted to add him to my friends list. We broke up 5 years ago and have gone 5 years without contact. I emailed him last July 06 and he replied back in a small response in which he shrugs off long distance friendships through e-mail. I replied back his email in July 06 and he has not written me back since! The thing is that back in July 06 he did not have MySpace so having found his MySpace tonight caught me by surprise. I saw all his MySpace pictures and noticed that he is single and only has 2 friends on his list! I am so tempted to add him but feel this feeling of rejection boiling inside me if he decides to deny my friendship over MySpace. What should I do? should I add him? or just forget about it and not worry about seeking his frienship over Myspace?

wow confusedangel! what wonderful advice I like it better than what I wrote. In fact I am taking your advice to heart and apply it too. Thanks!

well six months is a long time for you to have changed as a person and to see things differently. So from reading your story I feel that you wanted to get back together with her after this six months and to start all over. Now she doesn't want to get back with you again? see this is why I am afraid of NC because after so long you dont see someone, the other person might not feel the same way and it will hurt to contact this person again only for them not to return the feeling of love. I feel for you because you left her with her own space for six months and you just called her again to catch up with her it should only have been friendly and should stay away from those kisses and embraces. I know you are hurt but if you decide to go NC again and not contact her again just realize that she might not want to get back with you. So to save you trouble just wait for her to catch up with you. NC is great dont get me wrong its just that it leaves you numb and with a void inside you that when you meet that person again you feel happy and excited and your back to where you started. I mean you started out unhappy and then went NC which makes you sad again when you contact that person again. I am sorry if this doesn't make sense what I am saying but for now just wait for her to make the first move, you already tried hard enough you changed in six months so make her wait and to reach for you now.

I felt the same way too but then you end up realizing that person your with all along is the one your soul aches for. I am with someone almost 2 years in summer 07 and I still remember that guy that got away back in 2002. In my opinion there is no such thing as a soul mate I think we are in love with the idea of someone out there matching the same feeling inside their soul as we feel in our soul. Trust me I would be spending a many night crying over this guy that went away while I am with someone. In the end when my boyfriend left me I forgot about that past lover and ended up missing or wasting time focusing on the past instead of focusing on the present and keeping my boyfriend happy. So to you I say not think so much about this past I know this is a part of you and a chapter in your life but try not to dwell too much on it because your present might get away. You can learn from that mistake like being careful not to trust someone so much that they will tell you lies as in your case that he was with somone while with you. I know deep down you will always have this feeling for this man that went away but you must try to put this in the past and really focus on your present and future with your current guy. I think everyone goes through a phase where we think about the person that got away and how it haunts our thoughts and if they were really our soulmate but now they are gone. We are just in love with the impossible or the way things were but can never be. Sorry if my advice was not much but look to the bright side and enjoy every moment with your guy. Welcome to Enotalone!

well because we want to experience that feeling that is love Tennyson said it best "Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all"

Tell him to tell you the whole story. Does he have a kid with her? find out what is really going on between them. From your story I get the feeling that he might be hiding some kind of secret that he shares with that scorned woman. Dont try to call her because she might tell him that you have been harrasing her and blah and just dont dig a hole for yourself. Dont stoop to her level and just ignore her. First question your guy and find out the truth and if nothing comes out then tell him that you can't stand drama and want out of the relationship. Tell him that you dont want a relationship of 3 people but of two and if he can't end the drama well cut him short and leave. You can try to be his friend but first of all find out what he's hiding with this woman.

I am in the same situation. I met my guy's mother and she hates me too. In fact she refused to look me in the eye and found it an inconvenience to shake my hand! anyway we broke up and got back together under the pretense that he doesn't talk to his mom about me. I am okay with that I know it will take time for healing and besides the lady is in her 60s! she might forget about me anyway so I am not bothered about her hating me anymore. What I think you should do is just be his friend and slowly little by little he might tell his mom that you are a nice person and tell her all the good things you do. If you dont like that then just tell him to tell his mom you are out of the picture but to still remain friends. Eventually with time things are forgotten and things heal. Just appreciate him as a friend and his mom might forget and slowly learn about you in a new nice way. Remember you are going to be with him not his mom and if he loves you nothing should stand on his way. If a mom loves her son then she will want her son to be happy with the person that he loves. Unless his mom is a total b--tch then I dont know what you can do.

Good question. I agree with the other posters that not seeing someone regularly can hamper your chances of a good friendship. Sometimes its hard to show interest in someone's affairs when you call them or when they call you because you dont see them often and frankly they dont concern or involve you. Other issues: not wanting to hang out with a friend or someone that invites you to an event because you show no care or interest with their hobbies or like the music they like. One guy invited me to go see a metal band perform in a famous club in my city but I declined he even called me from the show to ask if I was on my way. This is other person I know only likes to hang out at dance clubs and I frankly dont like the smell of ciggarettes or being around drunk people. I hung out with this friend at an amusement park but after one scary ride I didn't want to get on anything at all and wanted to go home! I just got too scared to get on anything. After that one hang out he refused to invite me to anything because he labeled me as boring and no fun! But god damn I am not going to do something that someone forces upon me. He told me at the park that if I dont get on that rollercoaster I am no longer going to hang out with him ever again! talk about a friend more like an inconvenience if you ask me. I guess not having the same interests or likes as they do, that can be an important factor in maintaining friends or friends turning their backs on you.

I am quoting a Pet shop boys song "Love comes quickly in whatever you do and you can't stop falling..." Well try getting into hobbies or do activities you like,once you focus your energy into somethig and forget about looking for the "ONE" then thats when you would least expect to find love, and there my friend is when you will find that someone. Join the local book club or go to the gym, just keep focus on something your passionate about and you'll lose yourself and forget that love is just around the corner waiting for you.

As tough as it may seem I think you should try to be her friend. She knows you well and can probably count on you for support if ever she needs it. I think you should stay friends with her but move on inside your heart. Be her friend and try to improve your own life. Dont call her instead wait for her to call you, if you want call once in awhile and act as a friend. You never know this friendship can blossom to more if you have faith. Be the person she can look forward to by being happy and with joy when she talks to you on the phone, show like you care. She will slowly start to fall in love with you again and from there you need to decide if you want to get back with her. Act like you are starting over and little by little make her fall in love with you again and to do this start by being a friend, a good friend. This is just my opinion sorry if its not what you would like to see.

Well for me the date would start early around 1 or 2pm and he would take me to eat a light snack, quick fast food. Next we would go to the zoo. At the zoo its so fun to walk around together and seeing all the animals. He and I have so much fun laughing and joking with each other and we get laughs from the monkey cage, those crazy monkeys! From the zoo we would head off to the art museum. Here its the serious side, its cute to gaze at paintings together and walking together. There are nude statues and sensual paintings and you get a good vibe there when your walking together and confront such sensual paintings. Its funny cause we act like we didn't see what we thought we saw. From the art museum its off to a nice restaurant, Italian is nice and romantic. From the restaurant its off to his place to watch funny movies together and eating popcorn together. It was fun decorating the christmas tree with him, he had the tree there ready for set up and just waiting for me to help him out! so that was so fun Well that was my experience on a recent date and it went well, sorry if it wasn't fun filled to your taste, but I thought it was a successful date.

I am reading Epictectus book, The manual for living. Epictectus was a greek philosopher and lived a tranquil life worry free in an era when life wasn't as easy as what we have. He lived in the BC era. It really makes me feel better about things. I always worry about losing my job or if I'll ever be someone. Heres some quick advice found in Epictectus' book: "As you think, so you become". "Assume, instead , that everything that happeneds to you does so for some good. That if you decided to be lucky, you are lucky. All events contain an advantage for you--if you look for it" "Dont worry about things as 'people dont think well of me' and 'I'm a nobody'. You're not responsible for what others think of you. What real difference does it make to your character and wellbeing if you have a powerful position or get invited to fancy parties? None at all. And why should you WORRY about being a nobody when what matters is being a somebody in those areas of your life over which you have control and in which you can make a real difference". ~~~~~~~~~Epictectus The Manual for Living Please check this little book out only has less than 100 pages and the book is the size of your palm or smaller. I hope this helps.

No I dont think its weird for a guy not to have any female friends. I think its weird if a guy only has gay friends and confides with them his most intimate secrets. I think its weird cause my friend's ex-boyfriend was like this and they broke up because of the gay crowd that he hung out with and always leaving my friend in the blind. A good personality is a guy who listens, is polite, never yells or says any mean things to a girl. My boyfriend is the silent type, he is very shy and he doesn't drink or do anything outgoing. I am his first girlfriend and because of that I am attracted to him. I love shy quiet guys and not the loud cocky guys. Just be yourself because in my opinion nice guys always finish first.