Jump to content

routerx

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    328

  • Joined

 Content Type 

Everything posted by routerx

  1. routerx
    Congrats. My sister had a child 11 months after her first. It worked out great for her. She has 2 great sons who hang out together all of the time. She did all of her "baby" work really quick and was done with it. She didn't mind it at all. Good luck to you.
  2. routerx
    I've been on this earth 35 years. In business I have "made it". In love, I have not (but I will). I've made some mistakes and have made up for them. It has taken a long time. Here are my top 5 tips. Don't make the same mistakes I did. 1) Get a college education, even if you are not sure what you want your major to be, just get one. I eventually got one... get one early or get one later, but if you want a good life, you'll get one, so make it early 2) Never move in with a mate before marriage. The relationship becomes a watered down mess with no definition. 3) Pick a career that is all about who you want to help, not what you can get out of it. I've made great money (6 figures) doing things I only enjoyed.. but which I did not enjoy the people around me. I've always quit those jobs. Find something where you enjoy the people you are serving. 4) Listen to your body. If you are gaining wieght, if you are sleeping when you should not be.. don't run from it, embrace the fact that your subconsious is telling you something. The answer if found by simply listening to yourself! Do what FEELS right to yourself. 5) Learn about money early. Understand that money in a 401k (retirement plan) in your 20's will be worth 10x that amount when you are old. Money in a 401k in your 30's will only be worth about 5x that amount. Understand what I-Bonds, 401K, IRA's are. Don't EVER use a credit card unless you can pay it off in full. Don't listen to the banks or commercials who are trying to turn you into slaves to the economy.
  3. routerx
    You are your own worst enemy. The only thing I can suggest is that you get on a sports team. Preferably co-ed. 1) You need to stop taking your word for the fact you are not attractive. What you see in the mirror would look different if you were LIVING different, not LOOKING different. 2) You need to get out 3) You need to force yourself into challenging situations like sports
  4. routerx
    The average age of marriage is 26 years old now. Looks.. c'mon.. they change over the period of a lifetime. There are girls who were hot in college that I know who are considered ugly now. Why? Because they had ugly hearts and ended up living an ugly life and they are surrounded by ugliness. Make sure you have a beautiful heart and you'll be fine, I promise. If you got married at 21 years old, I'd be willing to bet that you would regret it when you are 31. The reason I say this is because the difference in who you are at 20 and 30 is ... huge. Sounds to me like you aren't really looking forward to your future too much and you placing all of your hopes into a guy to make your future better. To get married because you are afraid of being alone is the wrong reason to get married. Get married because you love your life and the person who loves you appreciates what you have done with your great life as well.
  5. routerx
    Thank goodness you posted!!!! I quote from link removed "Herpes is most often spread from active sores. But you don't have to have a sore to give the virus to another person." You need to go get tested now. "While genital herpes is bothersome and may cause emotional distress, it usually does not cause serious health problems in healthy adults." Regardless, it causes sores during initial outbreak and cause a lifetime of outbreaks depending on the strain of virus. These angry remarks are based upon the fact that your boyfriend is being quite selfish. There is nothing wrong with catching herpes by mistake, but HE KNOWS HE HAS THEM, he should NOT be having casual sex. It's true it's easier to catch when it's not dormant, but sometimes people can be wrong about this. I can't believe this guy!! For more info go to link removed Unless you plan to marry him, do NOT have sex with him. Imagine having herpes yourself if you catch it. How would it feel to then have to explain to future boyfriends that you have herpes ESPECIALLY when you could have avoided it.
  6. routerx
    I'm going to Concordia in St. Louis (Lutheran)
  7. routerx
    I liked your post. I too pick my nose sometimes Seriously, I think. I think about my plan and my future. It looks as if I'll be going into Seminary this summer. I've spent the last year praying about that. I think your post is terrific. Our success in life does solely rest on our own shoulders.
  8. routerx
    First off, what is more important is what YOU think, not what girls think. If you care more about what the girls think than what you think.. you would be just like him in a way. Your power is in forgiveness. You should say NOTHING to him but look at him with a look of disgust. I've been told this is the best solution to those types of remarks and I have found it works great. Let their words hang in the air and over their head. But, you should forgive him in the long run when people ask you about him. "Why didn't you stand up to him?" Your answer, "I kind of feel sorry for him. He's obviously got problems." I know a guy who is a jerk and asks people if they are "gay". People just look at him like he's an idiot and say nothing. Can you imagine how stupid he looks after saying that?
  9. routerx
    >>>when did you loose your virginity? I was 19 >>>where? On a boat on a lake >>details of your first night. We were drinking and this girl was just all over me all night. If I just would have sat there I would have lost my virginity because she was so horny I'm glad you shared your story. I also deeply regret losing my virginity to somone I didn't love. For a long time, I just had sex with people, I didn't know how to make love. I think it's very important to love someone prior to having sex. I cannot emphasize that enough.
  10. routerx
    I have to admit I've never had that problem. But, as I said before, just listen to your body. I remember when I was in training for a sport my body fat was down to 5% and my pulse was 48 beats per minute. I only needed, for whatever reason, about 5 hours of sleep per day. Just listen to your body and think long and hard before taking any medications. Doctors make $$ selling meds, so they have an incentive. I think they sell meds many times just to increase their income. That's all I can suggest.
  11. routerx
    I have some advice on sleep during depression based upon my own experience. I am not a Doctor, so please take this as a personal account and not medical advice. There was a time in my life when life was overwhelming me, literally. My fiance was lying to me and I had not figured it out yet, but I knew something was wrong. My father was lying to me and trying to deceive me. There's more, but I was overwhelmed and depressed and there was nothing I could do about all these things at once. I had a job where I worked "on assignment". So, I was home 3 weeks out of the month. During my days off, my body was telling me to sleep. At first, I felt guilty, but I decided to sleep. I figured this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, so take advantage. So, whenever I was tired, I slept. If was tired at noon, I'd go to sleep. I slept in the morning, in the afternoon, and the evening. I slept and slept and slept until I could not sleep anymore. Most doctors would say, "You are depressed. You may need medication." By I say that this was a NATURAL biological reaction to STRESS and my body was telling me it needed to take a break from the world. You see, as soon as signs of your body defending depression kicks in, doctors think you need to take medication. I say that you need to let your body dicate the situation. So, if you sleep. If you yell at someone. If you run in the street naked and scream "Screw the world!". It's okay!!! In the long run, I dumped the girl, I stood up to my dad, I got a better job, I have a great future. I never took a drug, I just listened to my body. In my opinion, sleep is not a disorder to be worried about. You should just go ahead and do it.
  12. routerx
    Well... you are at a great point in life because you are at a point where things must change. I sometimes feel like... God.. take me now! man am I angry or upset... but then, the next day or so, he opens a door for me. He opens a door for me because I pray for it to happen. I ask for the answer. You can do it!
  13. routerx
    The things that happen to you happen to everybody. I was dumped, I get in arguments at work, I get threatened with being fired, I get pissed off and depressed as well. But, I believe in myself. Why? I'll tell you in a second.. You seem to believe in God based upon your e-mail. Well, I have good news for you. God has a plan and purpose for you on earth and you won't find that answer if you keep asking bad questions. You need to ask yourself better questions: 1) How can I improve myself to find a better job, one that I can become a leader at? 2) How can I improve my relationship with my parents? It's easy to point out problems. You need to work on asking the right questions. Remember, the problems you have are only your problems, so no one else is going to fix them and no one else EVEN KNOWS THEY EXIST. So, you have to fix them, you have no choice. In order to fix problems, YOU HAVE TO CHANGE. You must ask yourself how you need to change. If you try and wait for others to change, you'll wait forever. You must change yourself. I STRONGLY RECCOMEND A BOOK CALLED "THE PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE" PLEASE READ IT!!! I ALSO STRONGLY RECCOMEND TONY ROBBINS BOOKS. THEY ARE EXCELLENT FOR FINDING LIFE SOLUTIONS. You are 90% there you know. You want to solve the problem, I can tell because you posted on this board. So, you are doing great. KEEP BEING MAD AND UNSETTLED UNTIL YOU FIGURE IT OUT. These issues will happen all throughout life. This is just the beginning. The sooner you learn how to crush problems on your own, the sooner you will dominate!!
  14. routerx
    >>inter-racial relationships? (or mix in what could be called stereotypes) The real issue is are you both tough enough to hang in there. I'm all for 'em! Others will have a problem with it, but it's THEIR problem, not yours. >>in your honest opinon are our opinions taken from our hands and out into someone elses or analysed the wrong way? Sure, that happens all of the time. Your opinion needs to be more important than how people choose to interprit them. That's true with everything. You can't control how people think of you... and.. you don't want to waste your time trying. >>if we persist to say that we are all the same, yet we all live by different views, different opinions how can this be so? we all get judged in the end. but why? Because many people judge others when they are unhappy with their own lives. It makes them feel superior without improving themselves. There is nothing you can do about that. Just don't be like that. LIFE IS NOT AS COMPLEX AS WE MAKE IT. IF WE CHOOSE TO FOCUS ON NEGATIVE ENERGY, WE WILL BE ZAPPED. YOU NEED TO FOCUS YOUR ATTENTION ON YOUR FUTURE AND THE SKY AND SUNSHINE. THAT SOUNDS CORNY, BUT THAT'S THE TRUTH. LEARN AS MUCH AS YOU CAN... BUT ALWAYS THINK LIKE A CHILD.
  15. routerx
    Yes, sex would confuse things. It always does if you don't love the person, I promise you that. My strong advice is to decide what you want and don't settle for less than that. Keeping your options open does you no good. How do you know Mr. Right if you are willing to date Mr. Anybody? Set your realistic standards... and don't settle for less. Good luck!
  16. routerx
    Well, whenever I've lived with a girlfriend, there always has been problems. We lost respect for each other. So, I don't suggest living with anyone in the first place prior to marriage (just MY opinion). The reason I say this is that if you are having sex and living together and not married, then... wassup? I mean, your relationship is going no where then. There is no such thing as a TRIAL RUN. All of life is one big showtime. So, I don't suggest this lifestyle. My guess is that he doesn't respect you or maybe even himself right now. I suggest moving out unless you know you will be marrying him. Just my opinion.
  17. routerx
    If he IS masterbating, no worries If he is NOT masterbating, no worries He probably is NOT masterbating. I say this because I always have my hand on my crotch when I sleep. I just like to hold Mr. Williams down there. It's warm and I like to say hi now and then. Anyway, even if he is masterbating, I don't see it as a big deal, but if he WAS, you could notice because to jerk your friend requires enough motion where you would feel the rocking in bed... definitely.
  18. routerx
    You need to put yourself in positions that require interaction with the female group in a non-threatening setting. The human mind can overcome anything if it is put in a position to do so. it will then become second nature to you and your friends will wonder how it is that you are so smooth with the girls. Ideas: Join a co-ed league or intermurals Join a book club Sign up for a weekend outing such as a church retreat or something of the sort So, you get the idea. Don't go into a situation with a lot of women simply trying to meet them. Just get on the same turf as them doing something you all enjoy. Friendships and dating happen naturally after that, I promise.
  19. routerx
    If you have any other questions, please let me know. I spent 4 years in the millitary and traveled quite a bit. I had quite a few girlfriends, but never married any of them, but that's just me.. (I'm still single in my 30's and prefer to be for now, as I may be going back into the Navy as an officer, Chaplain). Good luck.
  20. routerx
    Yes.. I get it.. but even if you aren't SAYING it, you may be THINKING it. I appreciate you haven't said it often.. but I would suggest, if possible, to stop thinking it as well. Anyway, my real point that I want to make is you obviously are a good person. You obviously deserve this great relationship. You should be commended.
  21. routerx
    Congrats! You should be PROUD! Save your virginity for your first LOVER. Don't just do it to do it. I lost my virginity at 19. I regretted the way I did it. A loose girl liked me and threw her body on me... we drank a little and had sex. It was stupid. So.. I lost that great moment forever. I never felt that sex was "special" after that. I lost that forever. Sex is SPECIAL. just because others don't treat it that way, doesn't mean you should. Lose your virginity to a lover.
  22. routerx
    Please remember you are not alone. I've been in your shoes before. I can only tell you what helped me, but I can also make suggestions. What helped me was to go to church and pray to Christ to show me the way. I understand that you may not agree with that, so I'll give you other ideas: 1) Find help at the university. You DO need to talk to someone, if not Christ, then a person. You see, it seems you are carrying the world on your shoulders. You need to share the load, feel a part of a team... so... 2) Join a TEAM sport. Get to know you can trust people and you are a part of something. Just some ideas. Hang in there. Remember, I've been there, so have many others. Don't quit.. this is a great time in your life and you are searching for answers.. don't stop searching.. it's important to handle this head on.
  23. routerx
    You are right, I misread her comments.
  24. routerx
    Don't get caught up in wording. Whether it is friend, girlfriend, or wife... those are just words. I've seen guys treat their wives worse than they would a friend. My point is, it depends on your heart. Is she close to your heart? A Friend Does she fill your heart and do you care for hers? A Girlfriend, only at this time would I suggest intimacy Is her heart more important than your own? A wife Think about the heart, not words.
  25. routerx
    You already have 90% what you are looking for. You have a relationship with a girl you care about which includes deep thoughts and shared moments. This is great stuff.. don't take it for granted. You are building bedrock here. All long term relationships are built upon rock. Your relationship with her his like a rock right now. Let it grow on it's own. Quit trying to dictate when and how it will grow. Part of the reason she may be holding back is because you seem so darn adamate to dictate the relationship. She may be (and PROBABLY) is using that guy as an excuse to get you to chill out. If you really care for someone, it will show from your actions, not because you TELL them you care about them. So, stop TELLING her and just enjoy what caring for her via actions. A girlfriend of mine who I was very close with kept telling me she needed more from me. I spent all of my time with her, confided in her, etc.. We were creating a great relationship, one that I didn't even intend to happen.. but sure enough, it was happening. I broke up with her because she was so darn needy about it all, as if what we had was nothing.. she kept saying, "I need more..." like a vampire. So, quit being so dogmatic. Just enjoy everyday. You can't pressure people into relationships.. they have to grow on their own... You are 90% there.. let her decide the pace of the final 10%
×
×
  • Create New...