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routerx

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  1. routerx
    First, your biggest problem is not seeing opportunity. Even if you do something and you are surrounded by old people, they still can lead you to their younger sister, their daughter, etc.. Never think that a situation is a dead end. I met my current girlfriend at a church outing with a bunch of a girls that I was not interested in. Well, a girl put in a good word for me and eventually I started dating this girl. I can garuntee you a fix to your problem... Join a co-ed team sport! There are SO many leagues, volleyball, bowling, chess, whatever!! Don't quit after a few weeks.. but gain a reputation and keep attending!!
  2. routerx
    Call him and tell him what you're feeling. You obviously are concerned. If he doesn't answer, just leave a message stating you are just checking in on him to make sure he's okay.
  3. routerx
    You may want to consider giving him no sex for a long time. Playing hard to get. He obviously takes you for granted. I'd make him jeoulous by masterbating instead of asking him. When he wants to have sex.. tell him he doesn't do it for you. In other words... leave him be... let him come crawling back to you. (gerneral statement) people need to remember that the harder they try.. the less appealing it is...
  4. routerx
    I'm 35 and I can tell you as a man.. he isn't treating you like a man should treat a woman.. and he knows better. Dump this guy. Also, I would NEVER date a 20 year old. She has her whole life and future ahead of her. I woudn't feel right about reeling her in when she hasn't seen the awesome world we live in yet. Dump this guy. The fact that he caused you injury and didn't do what you told him when it came to sex shows he has problems. The fact that he doesn't treat you right (restaurants, time together) shows he has problems. Dump this guy.
  5. routerx
    Hi, I've been dating a very nice woman for about 3 weeks. She's pretty laid back and she has not completely opened up just yet. I want to make sure I'm not spinning my wheels with her. Wondering what you may think.... We were to meet on Tuesday, because I was going to drop her computer off at her home (I fixed it, it was broken, I saved her about $400). She postponed that because she said her apartment wasn't clean enough to have me over. She then notified me that a friend would be visiting on Friday and Saturday and she would not be able to spend Valentine's Day with me. I sent her flowers anyway but she has made no arrangements to send me anything (I know this). We were then to meet on Sunday, but she had to postpone that because a friend of hers is leaving for good on Monday and she wants to wish him goodbye. So, she scheduled for Monday and she asked me to go to a work party, a very dress-up party, with her. So, ultimately, this is good news, but I've noticed she just doesn't seem excited about things. I've never seen her excited, she is so calm, but I'm excited about her, so I don't know if I'm just spinning my wheels here. So, tonight I'm a bit bummed. I'm going to go work out and do something positive to lift my head up. I just don't want to press for something to happen if it's not even there. I guess I just needed to get that off my chest... tell you my feelings...
  6. routerx
    Most guys love it when a girl is on top. Not sure what his problem is with that. Have you tried having him do you from behind? (doggie style) I would try new things and find out what really makes him horny. It sounds like he isn't that pumped about sex, so it's time to mix things up again. Try buying lingerie, new positions, witholding sex from HIM for a month or so. Sometimes you just have to take a break from sex to make it exciting again. How about you hold a contest with him? 1 month, no sex. I imagine you would have great sex for the month after that. Lingerie always gets a guy going. Don't take it off during sex. It's very hot!!
  7. routerx
    You would be doing yourself an injustice if you did not show him exactly how you feel. If you express effection for someone, that is not desperation. Don't hold back. If someone holds your affection for them against you, then they are not the person for you. So, I would strongly suggest you skip on the e-card and give him something in person. A card and/or candy would be cool. A guy wouldn't think that's corny. Just be yourself.
  8. routerx
    You need to get other people involved in this. How can you fix the problem if he believes there is no problem at all? I would strongly suggest that you and your husband begin getting out to social events more. Mix with the community. Hopefully, his behaviour will adjust when he hangs around other people and their patterns begin to reflect upon him. He sounds so isolated from reality. So, I would first suggest that you plan at least 1 night a week in a social setting, be it sports (bowling), church, or whatever. Beyond that, I really think a professional needs to get involved. You need to remember that things can change, but only HE can change them. You need to find a way to get him in positive experiences.
  9. routerx
    If you want your first time to be great.. make sure you are in love with the person and you want to spend your life with them. In other words, it may not be such a great idea at 14.
  10. routerx
    Do what you are best at. Focus on your strengths. Maybe you aren't talking because you don't like the situation you are in? Maybe you love music, or sports, or filmmaking, and those are the people you would open up to. I find that I'm very quiet at work. Put me in a group of Pastors or Filmmakers and I never shut up. I love theology and I love filmmaking. So, find your niche.
  11. routerx
    Hi, I don't think you should let him off the hook. The point isn't that he shirked his reponsibility on taxes, the point is that he shirked responsibility.. period. Is he going to lie on the mortgage application when you buy a home? Is he going to lie on his resume when he applies for a job? Is he going to lie to you when he shows up 2 hours late? It SHOULD bother you and you should tell him not to file that return. My family does that all of the time with tax deductions from their business. It's a joke. I have no respect for them when they do it and I don't do business with them.
  12. routerx
    Hi, My girlfriend will be busy on the 13th and 14th entertaining a friend from out of town. We've only been dating 3 weeks, so this is no insult to me on Valentine's day since she already had plans for this. My question. I'm seeing her on the 15th. Should I send her her gift on the 14th or give it to her in person on the 15th? I'm wondering if I wait until the 15th, if she may be deflated a bit on V-day if nothing arrives for her. What do you think?
  13. routerx
    You have a lot of hurdles to get over. It's amazing how quickly our decisions can trap us, isn't it? Hang in there. You need to make a life plan. Set up at least a 5 year plan on how to deal with this. It obviously won't be solved overnight. You must get out of credit card debt. Sell something, anything, but get out of credit card debt. It's the great American lie that it's okay to run a balance on a credit card. Take it day by day. I wish you the best.
  14. routerx
    Well, then I wish you the best.
  15. routerx
    I wouldn't. If you break from someone, you need to make a clean break. That's been my experience in life at least. If it was meant to be, it will happen on its own. I would walk away and get on with your life.
  16. routerx
    Confront him. I found (like most men) that porn satisfied a certain sexual need I had. I found that my sex life suffered because of it. So.. I stopped looking at it completely. You see, people should satisfy our needs, not pictures or videos. Porn is a problem. You should address it now and draw the line, now.
  17. routerx
    It sounds as if you are really on the ball. You are well spoken, responsible, and you have a vision for the future. This guy sounds as if he never had any parenting. It seems you are his new parent. I simply don't believe in divorce unless that person is unfaithful, but this guy, in a way, is being unfaithful to you. When you got into this relationship, you were supposed to work as a team. It sounds as if he is dead wieght. I think this is a perfect scenario for getting away from him for a while, a seperation. Let him live on his own, with his credit card debt, and lack of job. Let him see what life is like as a man, where he has to pull his own. Make that the rule for now on. He can only live under the same roof as you if he has a job and no credit card debt. If he can't do that, he's out. I'm sorry you've married a child. Unfortunately you are stuck being his parent.
  18. routerx
    Whenever you do drugs and it hurts other people and then you decide to keep doing them, you have a drug problem. Don't kid yourself. There is no reason in the world why you should be smoking pot. You can't smoke pot in your 20's when times get tough, when you need to put food on the table. You can't smoke pot in your 30's, when your kids get out of hand. You can't smoke pot in your 40's, when you have business deals on the table and you are trying to save for retirement. So, don't think it's okay to smoke pot now "just to feel better". You need to know that it's important not to feel good about life sometimes so that you can fix the problems before you, not escape into fantasy land. Again, whenever you do drugs and it hurts other people and then you decide to keep doing them, you have a drug problem.
  19. routerx
    It's cute, but somewhat obsessive I think. To label 100 pieces of candy.. that's a lot of work. Do 10 then mix them with the rest. I'd do "10 reasons why.." instead of 100. Then, tell him he has to find the reasons.
  20. routerx
    Why are you bothering with him? Your whole post explains that you are both in different stages of your life. You've given so many reasons why you should not be dating this guy, I have no idea why you are dating him. Let him off easy.
  21. routerx
    I'd be disappointed as well. If you've been dating 11 months, you would think that he would have given you a gift. I think you are right to be disappointed in him. Just remember, it is HIM who you should be disappointed in. Don't get mad at yourself for thinking you may be overreacting. You are not.
  22. routerx
    This is an advice and support board, so I'm going to give advice and support. Please note I'm simply saying what I feel based upon the best advice I can give. I totally disagree with any support for continueing. Your kid WILL eventually find out. When he's 15, 20, or 25, he will know, either from you, a friend, or from one of your customers or their son. It's naive to think your son won't know about it. Why should you continue with something if it's killing you? I think it bothers you because deep down inside you know that you have sold yourself short.. I think, and you probably now agree, that dancing for strangers may have gotten you the money you needed to advance yourself and take care of your kid, but you paid a bigger price for speed and convenience, you sold yourself out a little bit. I do believe there are bigger reprocussions to come. Sooner or later, your kid is going to know what you did. This is an advice board, so I'm sorry I'm not giving a supportive stance about your previous choice, but I can give you a supportive idea for the future. Get rid of that job. Even if it is inconvenient, even if you have to put off studies or paying off college, the wait will be worth it. Chalk it up as a mistake.h
  23. routerx
    If baseball means that much to you, you should find a girl who loves baseball players. My father was an all-american football player. He told me that when he played football girls were not really in his mind much. He met a girl who loved him as this great football player and they have been married for 50 years now. I say take advantage of playing college ball. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity.
  24. routerx
    I think this may be a case where you want to get professional assistance. You need to remember that this is a loving world and you need to search that love out, especially in your case by surrounding yourself by loving men. Loving by the fact they are caring and friendly. May I make a few suggestions? Join a volunteer group with men in it, such as Americorps, or something like that. Over time, I think your trust will be rebuilt. The key is to not isolate yourself. There are bad women, there are bad men, that will never go away. But, you can choose to be a good woman and I can assure you that you will attract good men if you participate in positive events. We can only control our own actions on this earth. I'm sorry to hear that men who could not control themselves got involved with your life.
  25. routerx

    Weed

    routerx replied to tiffany's topic in Abuse and Violence

    Well, it did not make more more inhibited... I remember laughing a lot and getting really hungry... Let me put it this way... it was lame. I regret ever doing it.
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