friendly advice

Thanks all for the support, I need it. I think you hit it on target, Neallo. I was thinking about it and thought, maybe I am feeling this way because I know I have to start all over again. It feels like that is my life story, starting over. But then I think its because, I feel I am doing 80 things at once. As for my son, he does not have any idea I dance. My son is 10, he is my entire life. I would never want him to ever find that out. So I think this is another reason for my feeling this way. If I can only make it until graduation with this embarrassing job.

Over the past week, I have experienced some major emotions. I guess to explain the cause of this, I have to go into detail. I am a single mother (30), raising my son by myself. I was working for a BIG company, 11 years in all. I hated it! After about 9 years of working there, I became very depressed. Needless to say, I was constantly getting hurt on the job. The final accident, left me to question, if this is where I want to be for the rest of my working years. Due to the accident, I couldn't return. I left with my retirement package. I started back to college scared of the decision I had made. I keep telling myself, I can do this. In the mean time, I had to find a job. I started working in an entertainment bar, part time. It was great at first, after all, I only had to work 2 days to make what some people make working 2 weeks. I figured I could remain sane till I finish school. Now I am getting ready to graduate in June with honors. Everytime I try to go to work, I get upset. I am not a bad person, or dirty. I have my priorities in check at all times. Everyone that knows me, understands why I work where I work. They understand that I have to do this to pay bills. Believe me, my friends would let me know if I was acting out of character. Through all of this, I was dating here and there. When I started dancing, I found it hard to be in a relationship, I felt like it would be disrespectful. I am a very loyal person when it comes to relationships. Even if the person does not mind, I still feel embarrassed. Last Saturday, I had a very strange thing happen. I was out with friends after a game. I looked at the door, and in walks this delicious guy. As soon as he walked in, we locked eyes. I cannot even explain how deep it was. It continued to happen, everytime we seen each other till we started talking. Gentleman, is all I can say about this one. We hit it off right away. While talking he asked, "what I did for work?" I of course did not comment. After a few hours, he asked again. So I told him....he said, "that's ok." I know he didn't care, but it really bothered me to have to say that. This past week I tried to go to work, I made it as far as the drive way on Tuesday. On Thursday, couldn't stomach being there. I had customers asking me what was wrong, I wanted to cry. I don't know what is happening. Having this encounter, made me start thinking how this job is effecting every aspect of my life. Why all of the sudden, did this start bothering me?

Ok, I have to start off by saying, "All of your advice, has been great advice!" I have been following the replies on this topic, which happens to be written by my best friend. She told me about this site the other day. I found her message and began reading. BF I want you to know, I am proud of you for being strong through this. You have so much to offer someone. You are beautiful and caring; simply all around great person. You do not need to be second choice to anyone. You are to good of a person, to let someone treat you this way. I know this is hard, but your doing the best thing for yourself. Guess what, when Emily decides to dump him. He is going to look back and slap himself! He let the best thing go. Eventually, he will realize he made the wrong decision. And you'll have moved on with your life, when he is left with no one. Hee hee You are doing a great job, so stick to it. If you feel the need to text, text me. You know I will always be here for you, best friend no matter what. So smile, think about all the fun we have. If left up to me, you'll be over him in no time. Thank you everyone for giving such good advice, and support to my best friend. BF keep up the good work!!

I have to agree, no contact!! I know there are times when it is very difficult, but it is best for your own sake. All calling does is bring back all your feelings good or bad, which takes you back to the state you were just in. You need time to think what you really want in your life, obviously it wasn't the ex.