rainbow

broke up with my bf of five months over two months ago. It was hard because I did'nt want to break up with him, I had to. Why? Because the guy who at first was crazy about me lost interest. That's what I think anyway, cos he just stopped wanting to c me and spend time with me. Anyway, it hurt. At first I just cried and was miserable. Then I got angry. Angry at how lightly he messed with my feelings, angry at how lightly he treated the break up, angry at how it did'nt care and was after and got with other girls very very soon after, angry at how he had changed from the guy I fell for. I texted my mate mate one day saying hi, how r u, the usual stuff and added 'Im over tom. He's turned into such a *beep*. I deserve better and Im not just being arogant.' I sent it to my mate & forgot about it, till....I got a message from tom saying 'I'm sorry I turned into a *beep*, good luck finding someone better, although it will be hard to find someone as mature as you. f*** you.' I then realised that somehow that message had been sent to Matt too. Either someone sent it or it sent in my bag - cruel twist of fate. I did not send it. I went to Tom immediately to apolize. I said I didnt send the message, that I did'nt mean it, I was just hurt and angry. He did'nt understand. He shouted and swore at me and then I eventually left after he just kept saying 'fine' to everything I said. I texted him saying sorry and later e-mailed him. He didnt reply. I saw him after a month, went to his room at uni, to say hi and he was awful to me. He was polite, like answered my questions (didnt ask any of his own) and just sat back in his chair with a smirk on his face. A smirk that made me feel worthless. His mates are ignroing me too. I just wonder why is he being so mean, why cant he ofrigve and forget? It was'nt such a big thing! I mean it sounds so petty, is so petty and were adults more or less! Do i deserve this treatment that makes me feel awful?

Being a virgin never used to bother me. It was'nt an issue. until now. At uni most people I know are having sex. Not sex in a meaningful relationship but sex with anyone that is willing and good looking (at least when there drunk). Its all they talk about too. I feel out of it. Also my virginity is this big issue. Not on the surface but underneath. You know they dont include me in conversations because I wouldnt know, I'm boring.... I come back home and waht do my mates do? Talk about all the guys they slept with at uni. They ask if I slept with my ex who I was with for 4 months and when I said no they were agast. They were like what the hell were you doing for 4 months, oh my god, get it together girl. They made me feel so small, like I did something wrong. I ended up explaining myself! Explaining myself of all things! They made me feel that I was pathetic for being a virgin at 19. I wanted to sleep with my ex but something held me back. I guess it was because I was'nt sure if he cared about ME. I thought it was better to wait longer and be sure than to be sorry. That instinct saved me a lot of heartach cos at the end of the day I found out he did'nt care. Look, I just wanna wait for a guy who cares about me and respects me. Rather than shagging every guy who I get with. Is that so wrong?

I broke up with my bf of five months over two months ago. It was hard because I did'nt want to break up with him, I had to. Why? Because the guy who at first was crazy about me lost interest. That's what I think anyway, cos he just stopped wanting to c me and spend time with me. Anyway, it hurt. At first I just cried and was miserable. Then I got angry. Angry at how lightly he messed with my feelings, angry at how lightly he treated the break up, angry at how it did'nt care and was after and got with other girls very very soon after, angry at how he had changed from the guy I fell for. I texted my mate mate one day saying hi, how r u, the usual stuff and added 'Im over tom. He's turned into such a twat. I deserve better and Im not just being arogant.' I sent it to my mate & forgot about it, till....I got a message from tom saying 'I'm sorry I turned into a twat, good luck finding someone better, although it will be hard to find someone as mature as you. f*** you.' I then realised that somehow that message had been sent to Matt too. Either someone sent it or it sent in my bag - cruel twist of fate. I did not send it. I went to Tom immediately to apolize. I said I didnt send the message, that I did'nt mean it, I was just hurt and angry. He did'nt understand. He shouted and swore at me and then I eventually left after he just kept saying 'fine' to everything I said. I texted him saying sorry and later e-mailed him. He didnt reply. I saw him after a month, went to his room at uni, to say hi and he was awful to me. He was polite, like answered my questions (didnt ask any of his own) and just sat back in his chair with a smirk on his face. A smirk that made me feel worthless. His mates are ignroing me too. I just wonder why is he being so mean, why cant he ofrigve and forget? It was'nt such a big thing! I mean it sounds so petty, is so petty and were adults more or less! Do i deserve this treatment that makes me feel awful?

For godsake why are u e-mailing her, particulary about knowing about her little date. Have some dignity mate. At least pretend to show her you dont care, have moved on with your life. Jez. I know it hurts but the worst thing to do it to show it. Its good to show it a bit, but I think your overdoing. You wont get over it if you dont pull yourself together. Yeah, you a nice guy finished last, this time anyway. Now MOVE ON. She's not worth all this. Dont contact her. Ignore her. She doesnt deserve you. I know how u feel cos I was there 2 months ago and I just cringe about what I did. I cried non stop, e-mailed him telling him how much I like him etc etc while he had other girls to his place (lets guess what happened there) and basically did'nt care. Now I'm thing what an idiot was I. I should of just shown I did'nt care and moved on with a bit of dignity. Now I feel like a fool. You will too later. So, just take some friendly advice and try and forget about her. No more dwelling on it, communicating with her etc. YOU DESERVE WAY BETTER. Btw nice girls finish last too. I've never yet in my 20 years had a nice bf.

Not a movie! Not a double date either! One, you wont get to talk and get to know eachother in a move. You'll just be sitting next to another in silence - great! Also double date - other people there. Dont you just wanna focus on the two of u? Offer to pay. See what she says. I like it when guys pay but I also feel guilty so I usually insist we split. Just talk to her whenever you c her. Dont plan it so much. Gosh I thought girls were planners. good luck

I havent been in the same situation, but loads of people I know have. Listen there is more than one person out there who is 'the one.' You just met too early on. You have so much to do and you cant do it together. He's your first love thats why it hurts so much and you think you wont meet anyone else as good. I thought the same after my first love, but I met other people. Not better but just different, but just as good. You never stop loving your first love, he'll always be in your heart. But he broke up with you and you should move on. Stay friends by all means, you never know you might get together in years to come. Just remember there is not one person out there for you - thats a love myth - there are a few. Your 20, go have fun!

Oh it so nice to know guys analyse things like girls do!!!!!! Look I'm a uni first student, but in the UK (one of lectures is from Toronto uni tho). Anyway my advice is just go up to her and ask her for a drink, you know for a coffee in Starbucks (do you have that there). Thats what guys do over here. If she likes you she will say yes and she'll know you like her because your asking her. Girls like it when guys make the effort. Particulary after her last bf broke her heart. My last bf broke my heart and there was this guy I kept going for a drink with (get it?) they think is he did'nt seem to care or make enought effort and me, who just mended a borken heart, decided to stay away from him. A girls who jsut had a heart broken is not gonna want a guy whos not making enought effort i.e. not showing enought that he likes a girl. If a guy really likes a girl he's willing to make the effort, like you seem to be. So, ask her for that drink. It will give up time alone to talk - get to know eachother, become at ease with eachother. The good old style dating. If it goes well say 'we should do this again' and arrange to meet again. Keep meeting and if its meant to be it will happen. Meet at different places and different things tho. Good luck. I hope you get the girl. Let me know if you do.

Do you know how nice it is to read about a guy being crushed by a girl. All I read is about girls hurting and guys not caring. My lifes the same I aways get guys who hurt me. We break up - he doesnt care (finds other girls ASAP) and I do. I'm always the crushed one. You seem like a nice guy she seems like a b***8 My mum always told me nice guys get the b***'s, nice girls get the bastards. So far it has proved true. Why cant I a nice girl get a nice guy like you who will love me back? Why cant you get a nice girl who will love you back? Life sucks does'nt it. Its not fair. Dont give up. Thats my advice. Keep on looking there is someone out there who is gonna love you just as much as you love them. Dont waste time being crushed about her. She sounds awful. I always get pissed off when girls like her get nice boyfriends. Proved by the fact that everyone disliked her. You should let friends and family influence you, but when they all say the same thing there must be something in it. Let go and move on. It was'nt meant to be. Take it as a compliment. You were'n meant to be with someone like her, you obvously deserve (and want) better. It will hurt for a while, but it will get less and less. Look for someone nicer okay. Learn from this. You just restored my faith in men. Thank you. Good luck finding someone that deserves your love. Good ridence to her. Promise me you'll block her out from your life?

Okay. I had that problem at high school. My friends always left me out. We were fine in school, but outside they would hang out without me. Now I'm at uni looking back I can see they really werent my friends, but more liek acenticies. You need to find a group of friends. Real friends. Friends that you will hang out outside and inside school. I didnt manage to do it at school. I managed to make some really good mates from different friendship groups but I never belonged to a group. However, when I went to uni i promised myself I would'nt make the same mistake again. I did'nt I have a brilliant group of mates. Listen I know your shy. I'm not shy, quite outgoing really, but I have the problem that I dont let people close. So I can meet and aquient myself easily, but I wont let them close, so they treat me like your supposed friends are treating you. My friends at uni wer epeople I instantly felt I could open up to. Go and find some people that understand and willa ccept your shyness. Its had but it will be worth it in the end. Dont be afraid to be your own company either. I was alone most of the time too even tho I knew loads of people. Why because I knew them but I was'nt part of their group. School is groupy you got to belong to a group. Just stay friends with them. Dont phone them loads, thats suffocating, desperate. Wait for them to come to you. Fill your spare time with school work (thats what I did and now I'm the best uni in the country was worth it), joinsomething you enjoy where you'll meet people (I joined the gym). My best friends are people who did'nt go to my school, who were in younger years - I met cassie in church, emma at camp and claire on the train. Were still friends despite me studying at the other end of the country. The other friends (like your friends) I have seen since end of exams - a year ago. Do you get my point? I dont know if I'm explaining myself to well. Dont rely on other people to make you happy and to fill your time, you make yourself happy and you fill it with people who want to spend time with you, with things you want to do. Be confident. Your a wonderful person who people should be fighting to spend tiem with, you should'nt be fighting to spend time with them. I know how you feel. I've been there. Chin up yeah! Look at the book I've written!

Dont plan it so much. That's scary, but kinda sweet. Look people get to know eachother as they spend time together right. So, spend time with her. Dont ask her what her personality is. No. Spend time with her, then she'll get to know you (be yourself) and you'll get to know here. If you spend time with her (not non stop btw just hang out i.e. watch move in your or her room, go for a meal, walk) she'll see your not gonna forget about her. Be friends first. Then see what happens. You'll either click or you wont. Just go with the flow. Dont plan.

Dont stop. I was like that. I made my ex stop as I was a bout to come. I regretted it after every time too. I dont know what it was. Not fear. Its more the feeling that you cant take anymore. Its not exactley pain. I think its cos you dont know its worth waiting out. So, before you get down to business tell her your not going to stop and if she agrees dont stop, unless shes hitting or shouting at you or something. I mean just see what happens. You obviously care about her if your writting about this here. Have fun.

Okay I may not be an expert because I'm not married and I'm only 20. But, from you said your marriage has always been bogged down in trust issues. I know one thing the person I marry I will love, but also trust. He read your diarys etc at the beginning! Out of order. But then again he is your husband should'nt you share everything with him (unless its about his mother, friends) and not your diary. It seem's kinda hypocrytycal him not trusting you at the start of your relationships when he was having affairs. You forgave him for his affairs and I'm sure it took you some time to trust him. You had an affair and you should give him some time to trust you. But giving him time to trust you does'nt involve him checking your e-mails etc. Talk to him. Point out that if you were having anothe affair yur would for example delete your e-mails. Talking is the only thing you cant do. Tell him you made a mistake like he did at the start and ask him to do the same you did for him. I admire you for deciding to work at it. Do so not only for your children but for yourself. After things like this marriages get stronger, people get closer. My parents did. They are so happy now that they did'nt divorce, like many people do when it gets tought. You married him, there must of been reasons, try and resurface them. Good luck. I wish you all the best.

I broke up with my bf two months ago. I was devastated and I wanted to get back with him, but like you he did'nt want to (did'nt get the hint of what I said). He got over it ASAP and I did'nt. Guess he did'nt care about me, I always wonder why he was going out with me. How long it would of gone on if I had'nt broken up with him. I think it may have been the same reason as you we were lovers but not friends. I borke up with him because I wanted a friend not just a lover, whereas he was perfectly happy just being a lover and not a friend. I get where your coming from. Anyway, from my experience you cant be friends with an ex straight after a break up. Especially if one of you is still into the other and the other, like you, is pretty much over it. I just avoided my ex (even tho he lives with me), which made it easer to get over him. Seeing someone reminds you of what you had, what you've lost...... It does'nt let either of you move on. Stay away for a while. It will help her get over you. After a while she'll be able to be around you without it hurting. You can be friends. Thats what happened to me. If you try and stay friends ultimately you wont be friends. Something will go wrong, you'll fight like you two did. Thats what happened with my and my bf when we started trying to be friends and now that I'm ready to be he friend he probably wont want to be mine. Anyway, give her some space. Tell her why your giving her space too. If you want. She might not like it. Good luck!

I have a lot of friends who have periods like that. One mate has them like every 3 months. You should go to the doctors. A female one if you feel uncomfortable talking to a guy about it. There's probably nothing wrong, but there could be something wrong. Its just better to check it out. My mates were all fine and were just put on the pill to make their periods regular. They might do the same to you so you dont have to worry about when its gonna come, how long for. Good luck.

Hi! I know how u feel! Believe me. I am (kinda was) at the same point. I broke up with my bf two months ago. While I was devastated (couldnt bare to be with him, crying, jelous etc) he did'nt care. He was after some other girl 4 days after our break up 'no one matches up to beth' and had some girl back like a week later. Oh god it hurt and I still e-mailed him hinting I wanted to get back. Well, after two months of being a mess I decided to pull myself together. I was'nt gonna let a guy make me this unhappy. There's plenty of guys out there. You should do the same. Let go. You deserve better. Why? Because it seems to me that he really was'nt yours to begin with. If he had he would of been hurt. Yes there's the argument that guys cry on the inside. My belief however is that actions speak louder than words. I've had one guy who was mine and he was devasted when we broke up (had to he was moving to another country), although he tried to hide it I could see - he e-mailed, phoned (were still mates). So, although this may be hard to take. Yes, you had a relationship, which had its good times and its bad. But think, was he really yours? Did his heart belong to you. Seems not if he got over it ASAP. Oh it hurts to admit trust me. Its not gender specific its about whether that other person was ever really yours. If the break up did'nt hurt them then the answers no, if they ran off when something better came along then no..........I came to the very painful conclusion that my man had never been mine. Yeah he was with me, but his heart was elsewhere (I'm guessing with his ex who he was never over). I was just something that happened, he even said 'it just happened, I never planned it.' He thought I was fit and quite nice company (not enough) and got carried away. The thing is when he lost me it was no big deal, he just went and found someone else. He wasn't mine, he didn't love me (or anything along those lines). He needed a gf (cos he's not, well wasn't, the type to get with random and different girls once in a while). The thing is we deserve more than that. We deserves to be loved, be cared for, cherished….. You, me and every woman in our situation. You deserve better. Someone else (choose sensibly) will make you happier. I mean after what's happened it shouldn't be that hard. Take what you got from the relationships - the good times, the lessons you learnt - and use them for the future. Let him go (no e-mails, no contact). You have to. He's not coming back. Think about it you don't want a guys whose really someone else, who treated you the way he did etc back? You want a guy that will love, respect, trust etc you. Believe me he's out there. Just keep on looking, never give up. I know you feel like you'll never find someone else, that your not loveable. You will and and you are. Hold in there. It will get better with time and you'll look back on it when your better (and when your with someone amazing) and it wont hurt, you wont care, realise you did the right thing. Good luck. Hope I helped. I know I rambled on a bit. If u need to talk more private message ok? Just remember you got to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince - put him down as a frog!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxx