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AwdreeHpburn

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Everything posted by AwdreeHpburn

  1. AwdreeHpburn
    Maybe you should give it an honest try. If she is unwilling however, don't push. Don't keep at it. That may scare her and drive her away forever. But like someone already said, I suggest a nice, romantic, heartful, thoughtful, creative, gesture. Something you know she likes and will appreciate, maybe something she's always asked for but you've never done before. Good luck dude, let us know how it goes!!
  2. AwdreeHpburn
    Oh - I guess I took the comment that is should be rock - not metal to mean that he already knew what she was into. If not, then I agree that he should find out. But I don't think girls look at thoughtful gifts as wasted time.
  3. AwdreeHpburn
    Being yourself is a good idea for sure, but the gift is for her so it should be filled with things SHE will like. The part that is YOU being yourself is the creative, thoughtful, and sentimental idea.
  4. AwdreeHpburn
    It has got to be so hard to be in a serious relationship that you know you shouldn't be in but ever so much more difficult to get out of. Especially when you know what that is like. The good news is, you have done it before and you know you can. Get out. I know, trust me I know how uncomfortable and seemingly impossible it is to start over yet again. But you can and should. Put on the Whitesnake - here I go again on my own - get all motivated and get away from this guy. Sorry he's such a toad. Ya know what they say about frogs turning into princes.. Well, he's not turnin' girl, throw his froggy behind back in the pond!
  5. AwdreeHpburn
    cute idea - here are some of my suggestions - a bit cheesy and a bit 80's but rockish-type love songs none-the-less Friday I'm in Love - The Cure Love of a Lifetime - Firehouse Wait - White Lion To Be With You - Mr. Big Every Breath You Take - Sting (although a bit stalker-ish...) Love Song - The Cure (I sorta like The Cure...) Good luck. I hope she likes it. I think its a neat idea. Let us know what you come up with!
  6. AwdreeHpburn
    ooohhhh man.....this guy makes me nervous. Please be careful. I'm sure the guy who's website you've attached is a real person, but is HE that guy? I don't think you should ever meet this guy without telling your parents. If they refuse to let you or demand that you don't, take heed, its probably for good reason. But taking along friends could be very helpful and much more safe. Just be sure and let your parents in on it. I understand your instinct is to not, but especially if and when you plan to meet him. Good luck, be safe.
  7. AwdreeHpburn
    Passionpices, you've gotten some great advice and I don't want to be repetitive but I waned to say that I feel for you and am hurting for you. I do know that feeling. I wish you strength. One thing I want you to know tho - I have been on the flip side as well. I am NOT touchy feely huggy type person but my husband is. And I do love him dearly, I hope he believes me despite my lack of physical afftection. I do however become that way when I know he needs or wants it. He backs off for me, I get close for him. Because we love each other. If you love her, let her know you are willing to back off sometimes, if she is willing to be physical sometimes for you. If she is not, it is not love. And like Shadows Light said, be glad you found out 3 months in instead of 3 years or 30 years of marriage. Good luck to you. I hope you get what you need...
  8. AwdreeHpburn
    Seabisquit, I don't know anything about your actual situation but after reading everything here, I just want to say, that this guy probably sounds really sincere. And that's probably because he really believes he has changed. He may really want to. He may really be sincere, right now. That IS really hard to turn away from. If you take him back, just be prepared to go through everything with him again that you already have in about 3 weeks from now. You may want to believe he's changed and so may he, but like someone else has already said, unless he went through some immense counseling, he probably hasn't changed, very extensively. And whatever little changes he's decided to make, won't last very long or stick. Good luck, be strong.
  9. AwdreeHpburn
    That makes sense and makes me feel empowered, like I can actually control maybe, what and how I think about my situation. Thank you. That does help!
  10. AwdreeHpburn
    Well, whether or not its a men vs women issue I don't know. I know there are obvious physical differences and I know that most human bodies have a peak for physical performance. I am not at my peak but would love to be. Men seem to find a different body type than my current one attractive and I, like a lot of other women, want to feel like I look good. Even if that is brought on by what society dicates. That's where I am, that's what I want. Plus, for me, I used to be so thin people made fun of me. MAN what I wouldn't give for that now...
  11. AwdreeHpburn
    If she has to brag about how many people like her, sounds like she's not all that sure. She may be trying to convince herself of that, not you.
  12. AwdreeHpburn
    I feel sorry for your friend. i don't think sexual promiscuity is the same thing as being "liberated." I hope she's ok. She may need a friend to look out for her though. She could end up in some pretty awful situations. As for you, sounds like you've got it together and good for you. I don't think your as jealous as you are baffled. That's not necssarily catty, unless you've acted superior.
  13. AwdreeHpburn
    Summerlove - like shes2smart, I too have walked this road. I know its hard and I feel so bad. You have got to have strength for what lies ahead! I really think you need to -in a manner of speaking - run for the hills. I know you care for him and it may feel like you've abandoned him, but as the other responses have already said, he has want to stop doing drugs. How much you want it for him sadly doesn't factor in. And it sounds like he's not ready to give it up yet. You should keep in touch with people here. There is a wonderful support system here. If it gets hard and sad, get on-line. Someone will talk to you and help you through it.
  14. AwdreeHpburn
    Thanks. I know you're right, both of you. My husband has told me several times if I need help, I'll get it, and sounds like I do. I know he's great and I know its only with his support that I'll get through this. Thanks so much for the positive words and understanding. Its nice to hear there is light, even if it can't be seen. Thanks for taking the time to write that to me. - T
  15. AwdreeHpburn
    I agree. Sex is a whole bunch percent mental. If you're not turned on mentally, aren't "there" mentally, or are pre-occupied, you won't have good, if any, sex.
  16. AwdreeHpburn
    Ok - so I put a thing out here before about being bored. And I am, but I can't take it anymore. I don't know what I'm going to do. I hate my life, I hate my body, I hate being married, I hate being a mother, I love the kids but hate the responsibility... Every minute of every day I talk myself out of leaving. My husband is well aware of what is going on and I've become this thing for him to fix. He's a great person. He keeps saying he'll - we'll - do whatever it takes to get me better. Counseling, meds whatever. He tells me how beautiful he thinks I am and yes, I do know how lucky I am to have him, and that just makes me feel guilty. ARRGGGGHHH I hate this. I just want to run away from it all. Sometimes I'm afraid to go to the store without the kids because I'm afraid I won't come back. Most often I know I could never to that to my children or my husband but other times I feel like I could. The times when I feel like I can are coming more often and stronger. What should I do? Do I NEED medication? Will counseling help? Is this something that won't go away unless I leave? Or will it be a "where ever you go there you are" ending? Maybe its ME I need to get away from. Any advice? Thanks. - T
  17. AwdreeHpburn
    No. men and womer will never understand each other. But yes. I feel the same way often. I've been married for almost 8 years. And adding kids to the mix always make things more difficult too. Raising a child, working full time, its all very stressful. Things will get better. And then worse again...and then, eventaully better again.
  18. AwdreeHpburn
    Sex is 95% mental. Remember that. Don't "think" about it too much at all. That's what makes the erection go away. Make sure you're old enough and ready. The actual penetration and "sliding in and out" is the easy part.
  19. AwdreeHpburn
    I totally disagree with almost all. I think a lot of single people date, get involved, have casual sex and then realize its not what they want. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. (In MY opinion.) You've been clear and honest from the get go. If she hasn't respected your position by now, its time to discontinue all contact. She sounds clingy and to be honest, a bit scary. I think you should cut her off completely. No more contact. I know it sounds cold and you'll feel bad. You sound like a nice guy. Having sex with someone you've dated/are dating is normal win our society whether people agree with it or not. People do it all the time. You're not obligated to marry this person or have a long-term relationship because you had sex with her. Tell her you're done. Say you're sorry if you have to but you are not contractually bound to this woman you don't like. I suggest you be very careful though. In case she is a stalker. Don't say anything hurtful but don't be overly friendly either. She WILL misread that. Good luck dude.
  20. AwdreeHpburn
    If you're looking for advice on how to "play" her to get her interested - then confuse her by alternating flirting and ignoring. That's what got you hooked. OR, act like you don't care what she's doing. Act like it didn't affect you at all. Girls hate that. If she's trying to get to you and you act like she didn't, that'll drive her to action. On the other hand, if you are just curious about what she's thinking, ask her. If she's unclear, unsure or still playing games, move on. I mean actually. That'll get to her too. OR - you could let her know how YOU feel, what YOU want and what YOUR expectations are. Put the ball in her court. She'll know what to do. If she's unclear, unsure or still playing games, move on.
  21. AwdreeHpburn
    I agree with everyone here too. There was no sheriff. And I don't think any thing you said was gross. If you really were lied to, what can you do? I hope you are being honest with yourself about what happened. I think if you've described everything that REALLY happened you know as well as the rest of us that you have nothing to worry about. If something else happened, or you are a different age than you say....maybe you should be scared. But I agree with the person who said you should inform yourself about the laws and distance yourself from these people. Good luck, be honest and always use protection.
  22. AwdreeHpburn
    Sadhatter - I think you probably already have a theory about what it means. I am going to be brutaly honest with what I think it means. This is probably something she's been contemplating for a while. Probably a guy she's wanted to date but either he or she wouldn't while she was with someone else. Probably something that's been building a while. If she is spending every day with this new person, sounds like infatuation. My advice to you is let yourself mourn the loss. Try not to focus on what she's doing. Focus on what you're going to do to move on as well. Keep us posted about how you're doing.
  23. AwdreeHpburn
    WOW. I am a coward too. I have broken off realtionships in not very nice ways. Never by post-it note but over an answering machine, or by avoidance, not returning calls...But the fact is, I really am a coward. I am terrified of confrontation. I have no idea how to deal and I hate feeling uncomfortable. Its totally selfish to be sure. I agree that you are better off without this person. She may grow up someday, (i'm working on it) but you don't need her hurting you while she does.
  24. AwdreeHpburn
    The day starts like any other The lights come on I swim. The day goes on without deviation from yesterday Then food! Yes, something to look forward to; The highlight of the day What will the food be today? Oh, the same as yesterday I swim. Its dark. I sleep until I can't anymore. I wake up. The day starts like any other The lights come on I swim. The day goes on without deviation from yesterday Then food! Yes, something to look forward to The highlight of the day What will the food be today? Oh, the same as yesterday I swim. Its dark. I sleep until I can't anymore. I wake up. The day starts like any other The lights come on I swim. The day goes on without deviation from yesterday Then food! Yes, something to look forward to The highlight of the day What will the food be today? Oh, the same as yesterday I swim. Its dark. I sleep until I can't anymore. I wake up. The day starts like any other The lights come on. I swim. The day goes on without deviation from yesterday Then food! Yes, something to look forward to The highlight of the day What will the food be today? Oh, the same as yesterday I swim. Its dark. I sleep until I can't anymore. I wake up. The day starts like any other The lights come on I swim. The day goes on without deviation from yesterday Then food! Yes, something to look forward to The highlight of the day What will the food be today? Oh, the same as yesterday I swim.
  25. AwdreeHpburn
    well thanks guys. it is certianly good to have a male perspective. i do agree a vacation is in order. I think i need a break. Thanks!
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