okay, its been a long time since i've let this out. but please hear me out.
first i know people are going to find me gross for doing this but i've been through alot of emotional distress about it, and i hope you can all just give me advice.
let me start off by saying i was 16 at the time and she was 12
now i did not KNOW she was 12 until after the incident happand.
she told me she was 14 going on 15
anyway we met online (this is the last time i meet someone off line)
and we started talking. now i write music and stuff so thats how she found me, she loved my music and we began talking. anyway right away (within the first few days of meeting her online) she became sexual towards me, and as any guy my age at the time (about a year ago) i decided to follow along.
about 3 or 4 months pass and she was like "do you wanna be my boyfriend", since i totally was into her, i said yeah, and there came a day where she was like
"hey my moms not going to be home on this day, do you wanna come over and fool around?" i was like okay, because 1, we never hung out alone so we could chill and stuff. anyway she began to motion me to do things.
i will say right now i DID NOT have sex with her. and i DID NOT force her to do anything. anyway things started to 'heat up' so to speak. we were making out and touching and she wanted me to go down on her.. so i sat there for like a minute thinking about it.. i immeatley knew if something bad happand then it would be wrong and would bite me in the * * *. but i was kinda horny.
anyway as i was about to do it, i looked at her and said "are you sure?" she said yea, then i said "okay but if you want me to stop just say stop" and i made it clear to her about it.. anyway i did. and i left because her mom was going to come home.
now. at the time i didnt care. because i liked her allot, she liked me alot, we were secretly going out. now.. turns out she tells her best friend ashly.
turns out my best friend henry knows ashleys brother, and they told each other. right away i knew it was bad. i confronted the girl and she was like "i only told one person" and that one person told someone, and they told someone ect. now fast forward alittle bit. i decided to tell her that i was goign thru stress and we shouldnt talk. she got upset and cried and stuff because she "loved me"
but it was over.. now about 3 months later i get a call on my cell, someone left a message saying they were from the california sherrifs department concuring the girl.. now i was scared. but i called back. luckely she didnt answer and i left a message saying "yea this is..... you called me about.... and i'm returning yoru call" since then i havnt got a call back.
but i changed my number due to something else (i was being harassed about something else) anyway, i changed my number. then the sheriff found my email. okay no biggie. she was like "do you know .... " and stuff.
being she was a sheriff i was 100% formal with what i said. not too much hpanned but she was basicley like "i know what happened, it has been brought to my attention.. " ect. now at this point i'm scared. cuz sherif, and something i did..
okay so after about a month of no reply back from the sheriff i change my email. because of spam. and that i was scared. so i changed my email.
erased my tracks, of AIM conversations, Myspace Messages. EVERYTHING I COULD. because i didnt want them to catch me.
anyway i JUST looked at something on her deviant art thing, a poem. i swear to god nothing has ever made me shiver by reaading something..
along the lines was lke "he will pay, he never knew what he did to me, i hope he goes to jal and never makes bail"
this is scary. but then i re assure my self. that we were both underage,
i asked her before anything happand. and that i didnt demand anything or force her in any way. she DID not, do anything to me, it was basicley i went down on her and we made out. nothing else.
since we were underage, and all of what i said. what should i do?
am i safe?
the poem was written in july of 2005, its now febuary 2006. but since i changed my email and number i havnt gotten anything from anybody.
she IMed me about a month ago saying hi or something and i blocked her. i dont want anything to do with her for as long as i live.
it was hard for me to type this but i am despratley need to tell someone, and i need answeres...
please help me out here, and dont say anything about the age thing, i KNOW it was wrong...
