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Dako

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Everything posted by Dako

  1. Dako
    I agree it's a thought provoking post. I don't know if any relationship is all that stress-free, but seeing how someone copes provides more insight than more superficial traits. Some folks bolt at the first sign of weakness in a partner while others can cope with stress within the relationship. Depends on the level of committment, as well. I dunno.
  2. Dako
    You say you have no close friends. I suspect not forming bonds with others could be keeping you from making friends with men or women. In some regards, it's the same thing. Social skills are useful in career and relationships, and I don't mean being phony, just feeling free to be yourself and responsive to others.
  3. Dako
    As a young man, I saw how men and women were assigned roles based on gender differences based on both real and mythical traits. In many cases, it limited men and women to assigned roles. The rise of popular feminism changed things. The downside of those times was forgotten by successive generations, To a point where 20something men and women are nostalgic for something they never really saw. Do the genders differ? I think so, but with a huge overlap. As a fan of individualism, I prefer a level playing field.
  4. Dako
    Welcome to the forum. Sorry you're having to deal with such a blow. 18 years is a long time. I suspect you both were pretty comfortable with your relationship to last that long. It'll take time to recover, but afterward, you may find someone with your sort of desires and lifestyle. I don't think either of you were right or wrong.
  5. Dako
    Just to cut him off, yeah. Bad joke, sorry. I just don't see the appeal of big breasts, or a reason to hurt your feelings. He's pretty dim if he thinks his boorish comments don't hurt you. Now I need a footfrommouthectomy.
  6. Dako
    So maybe surgery is in order. Cut him off.
  7. Dako
    Hazey, That was what I deleted above. Better that should come from a lady...
  8. Dako
    If I woke up to a day with a fraction of this drama, I'd be gone. Are you excited by this drama, or just not concerned about yourself? I'd pack my bags, drop off a blood sample to be tested and find a better life.
  9. Dako
    Hubman is right. Where it gets troublesome is where a guy prefers porn to the real thing, or constantly compares his real lady to some porn star.
  10. Dako
    I don't think marriage is what you need. You need a healthy relationship. If you're both having this much trouble, I can't see the point of adding marriage to a mix that includes taunts, games, threats and insults. You don't seem to respect each other. If you do marry, the opinions of friends and family should be ignored. Marriage is between two people, unless kids are involved.
  11. Dako
    Absolutely! How can he justify such selfish behavior, while torturing you? He can't expect you to put up with this.
  12. Dako
    I can't imagine loving someone like that if you have a shred of self-esteem. Is this what you want in a relationship? It's what you'll always get from him, if you continue.
  13. Dako
    My gut feeling is that some guys go through their 20s doing school, career, dating and nesting then decide to marry. They wish to have a wife. Others intend to stay single, but one special woman comes along and they succumb.
  14. Dako
    I've also read a bit about gender differences in emotional maturity. Although I have no opinion either way, those studies do exist.
  15. Dako
    I married a coworker, and no one knew for months. We worked in an open room of a dozen people. We had been dating for two years.
  16. Dako
    LOL! I'm currently entranced. S2S, you defy age classification.
  17. Dako
    Just as an aside, I know a hot 70 year-old woman. If I were dating her, would I be the predatory dirty old man, or after her money, or would it reverse the "rules" or what? Enquiring minds wanna know.
  18. Dako
    I've never been on my own death bed, but have held hands with a few dying people. I'm glad I won't leave this place without having been in love. It's the best thing I ever experienced.
  19. Dako
    Shiva, I'm sorry you were taken, but not every older man is a predator.
  20. Dako
    An old fossil like myself enjoys hearing what a young lady thinks, and I can talk to her without looking at her chest, ogling other women or leering at her. I can even discuss things other than pop culture or TV shows. Some young women like that, whether it comes from a young or old guy.
  21. Dako
    I don't think you'd have any trouble getting a receptionist or file clerk job in most offices, even without a degree. If you've worked retail, you must have some interpersonal skills that would transfer well. I'm in the same boat, and calling HR departments for info. It's not easy, but some folks will give you ideas. Try your state's unemployment department for information. It takes some digging, but there are resources that can help. My state has programs to get you trained, and you only need to buy books. I'm currently applying for state funding to train in a new field I found by studying the job market.
  22. Dako
    I have bouts of anxiety that tighten my chest and bring a dizzy nausea. usually from situations where I feel helpless to overcome some obstacle. I had one yesterday as I tried to wade through some government red tape and no one would respond to my calls as a deadline looms. It took some self-talk to realize the sky was not falling, things will work out, and not everyone is out to sabatoge my efforts. It's no fun.
  23. Dako
    Lexapro is used to treat anxiety and is also an antidepressant. It should take 2-3 weeks before you adjust to any side-effects and also get relief from your symptoms. 4 days isn't enough time for it to work its way into your body.
  24. Dako
    1. Ignore your family's comments. 2. Develop a life of your own while talking to more people and making friends. 3. Go out with women when you want to, not to please others. 4. Remember #1
  25. Dako
    If you enjoy a guy's company, do you need marriage until death do you part, or do you just want to to get to know him? That's why I asked what you want from him. I think you should date whoever you want, and not seek approval. In age-gap relationships, people jump to the "when your're 60 he'll be 80" argument. Look around at how few relationships endure that long. If you were happy with a guy for that many decades, I'd consider that a remarkable relationship, and you'd have no regrets looking back over 40 years of life with a guy you chose. By the way, I was close friends with a couple with a 20 year age gap as they reached the end of life. They had a magnificent life together. The same holds true with any guy.
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