Jump to content

Ated

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    211

  • Joined

 Content Type 

Everything posted by Ated

  1. Ated
    Thanks for the replies guys! I called her bf and she said that she is really willing to make it up to me. BVut the thing is, i've already 'switched off' the friendship, if you guys know what i mean?? Now i dunno what to do about her getting a job at my workplace. I feel that she is rather invading my space... i mean, of all places that she can apply at, why MY workplace? Maybe shes trying to see me more... I really dunno, but i just feel invaded and suffocated. And quite frankly, uncomfortable at the thought of her working the same place as me!! What should i do?? Tell her abou how i fee?? I mean, she kept saying how she really want this job and she wants experience as a waitress and stuff like that. So i dun wanna like tell her, oh can u look for anohter job cos i feel uncomfortable?? u know? I dun wanna break her feelings... To be honest, i am seriously thinking of maybe quitting just cos of it. Am i being silly? Thanks again you guys.
  2. Ated
    a close friend of mine just got a job at my workplace... I do not know why, but it sorta bothers me! I mean, i dunno if im just being a cow about this, but i just feel like shes competing agianst me... like im only 17 and i got my rsa (responsible service of alcohol) and she was like 'oh really? how come ur only 17 right? thats not allowed!' bla bla and im like.. 'well i got it dindt i?? I just feel like she is competing with me for some reason... And i feel rather suffocated. Like, she says im her best friend... but the thing is, im the only one making the friendship work. She only calls me when she needs help or advice or sumthin.,... And i told her about how i felt... And then i just feel all awkward now... i dunno. I dunno if this is even making sense... *sigh* my head hurts!
  3. Ated
    Kipster.... Your advice is just sooo well put. Thanks. Its very very uplifting. I was having second thoughts in being 'friends' with my ex just to show him that i am the bigger person. But i now realise i do not need to. Because all the time i was with him. I treated him with respect and loyalty and evrything. I already was the bigger person. I do hope what u said about the grass being greener on the other side, isnt necessarily greener, is true.
  4. Ated
    How long have u been together? And how old are you both?? It's normal to be nervous of course... seeing as though it will be your first time. It is a big deal... The first time you will have sex will not be good. BUt it does get better. It might also hurt...
  5. Ated
    just a quick question... When they test you?? what do they do?? (for girls i mean??) is it like a pap smear procedure where they stick something inside there??
  6. Ated
    Hey fellas! Just like me, im applying no contact. Its been 9 months for me... I did however break the NC rule on boxing day, as soon as i found out about the tsunami (my ex was sri lankan). Anyways. Well done in applying NC. YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION to people who struggle with NC... You are right! 2005! A new year, a new beggin eh?
  7. Ated
    VERY VERY VALID POINTS ilse Dreamweaver, ilse is absolutely right... Use NC to heal yourself. Ilse i do have one question. What if the ex (the dumper) contacts the dumpee? The dumper who contats the dumpee has a gf?? To make things easier. This is the situation i am in. My ex who dumped me replaces me with a new girl just after a month. (we dated for 1.5 years) He tells me he wants nothing to do with me, the love was gone... etc. So i left him alone. We bump into each other once in a while and after 5 months, he breaks no contact. Me being a 'nice' girl told him i didn't appriciate his calls and asked why he is calling when he has a gf to talk to? He states that he only wants to be friends and not to get my hopes up. (STOP! Get my hopes up when i never call him cos i dont want to hear from him? hmmm) Anyways, he manages to always set my healing process. He calls me at least once a motnh and evertime he does i tell him as always that i do not appriiate the calls. He calls my landline and so i do n ot know that it is him calling. If he was to call my mobile phone, he calls me on a private number and so i pick up. The problem is when i do pick up, i am 'polite' to him and i guess it sends the message that i am alright with being friends with him when in fact i am not. I have expressed to him that i do not want to be friends, but we could be civl (friendly if we bump into each other) I am stuck in a rut. Soemtimes i think i can take my 'revenge' by befriending him. I heard that it hurts twice if u be nice to them, after them treating you badly. But then i also think that he really hurt me badly and that befriending him will only lead him to disrespect me even more. A friend of mine said that 'if he treated u badly when u were dating, what are the chances of him treating you as a friend'.... *sigh* pls help me... SHould i be nice or just tell him to leave me alone...
  8. Ated
    I agree with ticklebug 100%. Do NOT call back... If she wants to tellu something, she'll call back again... Although i would still not pick up...
  9. Ated
    Hey ocean9... I have told him not to contact me! I told him, stop calling me because it initiates cheating with your new gf! Then he usues mind games like Hannial Lecter on me... and then i break down and get all upset agian. The next time he calls, i made sure i told him AGAIN that i didnt appriciate his calls... But he still calls!! Now i'm starting to think he's just making up excuses to call me... first he was wondering how i am (fair enough) second for a job, third for my results... WAT THE! Ok nxt time he calls, i decided im just gonna straight out ask him WHY he is calling! Damn this politeness i have! hehe
  10. Ated
    Hey you guys... Well my ex contacted me... I dunno if it was an excuse... He didnt call me on christmas. He called me today (boxing day)... he didnt wish me... all he said was "hi how are u... bla bla, how did u go at your exams, what was ur results..." then he tells me details that i don't really want/need to know such as "yeh i live with shan (a mutual friend who lives live 3 streets from my house)" I mean wat does he want? I told him clearly before tht i don't appriciate his calls. He called me twice this morning~ Fisrt he woke me up, then i was kinda rude (partly cos i was distrubed in my sleep). Anywyas, i couln't go back to sleep so i decided to just go here! enotalone. 10-15 minutes later he calls agian? omg~ what is the deal. Anywyas, im a 'nice' girl so i apologised and was polite to him. Just friednly. I still think about my ex EVERYday... I keep thinking, will he call again? Not that if he doesnt i get upset... but when he does, its like... "what do u want! U told me u dun want me now u keep calling?!" I told him so many times to stop calling but he still does! i dunno what to do. He calls my landline so i dunno who is calling cos it has no caller id! Maybe i should hang up?? what i want to know is: should i just treat him nice, be friendly? or just leave it?
  11. Ated
    Hey you guys... Well my ex contacted me... I dunno if it was an excuse... He didnt call me on christmas. He called me today (boxing day)... he didnt wish me... all he said was "hi how are u... bla bla, how did u go at your exams, what was ur results..." then he tells me details that i don't really want/need to know such as "yeh i live with shan (a mutual friend who lives live 3 streets from my house)" I mean wat does he want? I told him clearly before tht i don't appriciate his calls. He called me twice this morning~ Fisrt he woke me up, then i was kinda rude (partly cos i was distrubed in my sleep). Anywyas, i couln't go back to sleep so i decided to just go here! enotalone. 10-15 minutes later he calls agian? omg~ what is the deal. Anywyas, im a 'nice' girl so i apologised and was polite to him. Just friednly. I still think about my ex EVERYday... I keep thinking, will he call again? Not that if he doesnt i get upset... but when he does, its like... "what do u want! U told me u dun want me now u keep calling?!" I told him so many times to stop calling but he still does! i dunno what to do. He calls my landline so i dunno who is calling cos it has no caller id! Maybe i should hang up?? what i want to know is: should i just treat him nice, be friendly? or just leave it?
  12. Ated
    I use to weigh 54 2 years ago, when i was a gym junkie... Early this year i weighed 67, but managed to lose 7 kgs. I've maintaned my weight of 60 til this month... Now, its increasing... I just weighed myself and I'm now 62! I'm feeling really ugly. I know looks aren't everything... That's what bothers me! WHy do i care so much about my weight? argh!! Maybe its just cos i just finished high school and since then i been slacking off excercising cos i've been busy. I planned to start excericing like i use to (walk everyday for an hour and weight training), but because my sleeping pattern has been derailed by the mentality of 'no school tomorrow' I never get up early enough to excersice. I wake up at noon! I spose, the fact that its xmas and new year doesnt help.... *sigh* Yes, at the moment i am overwight... not much, but overweight nonetheless... My BMI is 26.... I'm thinking of losing 10 kilos, to drop my BMI to 22... is that a good thing? I mean, i seriosuly don't want to end up anorexic... ARGH, my mind is in constant battle: I dun need to lose weight, just control my eating and get back to the usual excersice and stick to 60 kgs... The other says lose weight, feel better, look better blah blah ... Damn celebrities. If i can only afford a gym membership...
  13. Ated
    oh are u the guy studying medicine?? I dunno... weird... I'm having a mental block. I guess its cos my sleeping pattern is just soo weird these days... meh!
  14. Ated
    Hey asmodai! Merry X'mas! I thought u were 17 yrs old?? :S
  15. Ated
    As already mentioned, you should give it a try. You know, I felt really warm knowing that dumpers do feel "regret" about their decisions...
  16. Ated
    Hey there ebola!! Yeah i think meeting for coffee would be soo nice!! I mean as you said, you're tired of staring at 4 walls. A point i was going to mention is already said by titan: "be careful", and that it has a potential to be the "start of a beautiful friendship or more" NO harm... right?? And the fact that ur new to town, he can probably show you around which will be great! As for your ex, that's another plus. It will occupy ur time and you won't think about ur ex for a while... But i STRONGLY suggest just having fun! No use thinking about an ex cos if u start to open pandora's box, it'll drive you crazy with the "what if", "is he"... which alll leads to >>>>> ... a whole bunch of question marks!!! liek this ..?????? hehehe Have fun ebola! U deserve it!
  17. Ated
    Well the only advice i can say is move on hun... This boy as we have extablished is confused. He's only 19, so I guess he still don't know what he wants... Leave him be. I mean, you've been broken up for a while now, and it seems to me that you're doing fine... There is no time to be wasting time on someone who doesnt know what he wants. He is just stringing you along. I know u care about him but just focus on you... littlefeet's advice is DEFINITELY to be heard!
  18. Ated
    Hey i was just surfing the net and found this... it made me feel better and is a good way of thinking! Especially the last sentence!!! Choosing Your Attitude Stress: How to Cope with Pressure Yes, choose! We have little control over many stressful events and the bigger the event, the smaller we may feel by comparison. For example, when we hear about famine in Africa, we may feel overwhelmed by the sheer scale of the problem. Very few of us, however, would refuse to give food to a hungry person, if asked. By maintaining this attitude, we may decide to do what we can, however small our action may seem. We choose our action by standing for hope. We can reserve the right to be optimistic, and to think positively about solutions to problems, including our own. I call this learned optimism "thinking well". Thinking well about difficulties is: constructive flexible impartial curious balanced tolerant By contrast, thinking "badly" (by reacting to difficulties with knee-jerk negativity and pessimism) is: destructive rigid cynical frustrating resentful sarcastic Take the example of Eliza, a young woman who is jilted and feeling unloved. She might despair and conclude that she is worthless and useless, but this type of thinking is corrosive and negative. An optimistic alternative would be to try to consider the best possible outcome – accomplishing a happy relationship despite the difficulties. Eliza's thoughts might run like this: I have love to give. I need to find the right partner. I did my best in the relationship but that wasn't enough. It won't help to blame anyone. I'm a worthwhile person even if that relationship isn't.
  19. Ated
    Hey you guys... I found this really useful, maybe you will too! Have fun! link removed It's only natural to find it difficult to forgive someone when they have done something awful to you, but it's imperative that you try - and succeed - otherwise you are just re-injuring yourself. Vengeful thoughts hurt you mentally and physically, making you discontented, cynical and stressed. It's no accident that every single great religious tradition has taught that forgiveness is the most important first step on the path to true contentment. Try to find another way of looking at that which you need to forgive. It's often easier to at least understand someone else after you've "walked in their shoes". This is why so many people often develop a better - or at least a different - relationship with their parents after they have had children themselves. Remember that everyone brings different strengths and weaknesses to any situation, that most people do the best job they know how to do, and that it is difficult to move beyond the genetic and life skills they have inherited: They are what they are. Also, remember that forgiveness doesn't mean that you're saying what someone has done to you is acceptable, or that you're going to forget about it. What it does mean is that you are not going to let your anger dominate you any more. You're releasing yourself.
  20. Ated
    You're lucky in a way you know... A relationship is not all peaches and cream. Love is a beatiful thing hun, but the heartache is NOT worth it! If you're basing self-worth on being with a guy (in a r'ship), you will end up getting hurt! BADLY! What if you do find a guy? And he breaks your heart?? As you probably have noticed, most posters are going through a HARD breakup... It's not a good thing. Trust me! In fact, I have read some posters who have gone out with a person for only 2 months and affected them so much that after a year, they still aren't over it. Yes, i agree with others that you are still young! Heck, I myself is only 17, and honestly, I do want a bf myself... but, as they said, not everything is about it. hehe CHILL out! Enjoy being single!
  21. Ated
    How old are you both? And, who initiated the break up, for what reason? If he did, then i thin he may want you back... BUt the fact that he sayd he don't wanna get attached definitely is weird. What a confused boy...
  22. Ated
    Not bragging but i use to have sex 14 times a week... SOmetimes more... why? guess the raging hormones... Why i like it: It feels good! lol And it's a one and one couply thing to do...
  23. Ated
    Ok, so i guess if i get a bit tipsy its ok to make out for fun right? As long as both parties know its purely for fun? I would still feel a bit guilty i think hehe
  24. Ated
    I'll take that as a compliment... lol
  25. Ated
    Yeah i know. Muneca helped me a lot too! I'm glad that i'm not only helping one person... the more the better! How long has it been now RL? Yes, i know about the memories. You know sometimes i wish i could just cut that section of my brain. Just like others i tell u. I know others also want to fast forward to the time when they are healed... (again, just like me) Everything will be alright tho... I mean, how long were u dating? i mena, you've lived MOST of your life without that person, and what you shared was special, indeed, but the time you spend is just a TINY TINY dot in your long life line... Besides, there will be plenty more times where your heart will be broken agian. I know. WHAT?!?! hehehe but thats life!
×
×
  • Create New...