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Hormones are quite pesty, aren't they? YES INDEED... But how come 8 motnhs for you PAD? You're with someone right? Long distance tho hey?

No i wont be having any flings. I would feel cheap and dirty. I have a lot of self-respect for that to happen. I dint say i was going to have flings, i said it has crossed my mind and am tempted... but i dun think i would. Again, my conscience will kill me! I'll never forgive myself... Yesh i spose the hands can do the deeds... but it'dbe better if it was someone else's hands for a change! 8 months man! lol BUt no worries, still hanging

lol yeh... HOPFULLY bummer! I guess i have to wait for a new bf! I hate it tho... I dunot know what i want Sometimes i think, ok maybe a virgin so i know that they are 'clean' if u knwo what i mean ? But then i feel bad cos im not a virgin... and also that they may be not 'good' Then i think, maybe i can go with a 'player' but i dun reallywant to cos as u said, the reputation... but then he can really satisfy me... ARGHHH I wish i can just not think about this... lol

heh lucky you!! Actually one of my ex's friends wants to have a fling... im tempted, but i remain to keep away! wat u think? shouild i give in!! I seriosuly need some zex lol

How can anal be pleasurable tho?? I guess i won't find out unless i try it... I still stand on just vaginal sex... You should use every hole for sex. I mean, you already have the mouth, the vagina and even the boobs. Isnt that enough! nasty! lol

what makes her think that your being distant and annoying you?? I mean, actions speak louder than words, so if your not being very affectionate, then maybe she thinks that's why ur being distant?? Reassure her i say by romancing her... being affectionate... suprising her, being thoughtful...

hey you guys... It's been 8 months since i've had any affection in my life... I think i need some lovin... *sigh* I dun wanna end up just making out with someone for the hell of it. I've actually been offered, but i just dun wanna feel cheap and stuff... DAMMIt!! lol I'm seriosuly tempted to just 'play' you know? Flings i spose... argh damn conscience!

I'm glad you're gonna do NC, just see how it works for u... Don't ever feel you're stupid just because you talk about your ex. Once again, i UNDERSTAND how you feel. 8 motnhs since my ex broke up with me and i still think about him everyday... I talk about him at least once a week to my friends... It's not stupid to talk about your ex. It actually helps when you talk about them. What i think is stupid is, not picking one-self up. Letting an ex bother you, restrain you from healing... You're not stupid at all. Your not stubborn either. I think sometimes, like u said, you just need to hear it and hear it agian for it to sink in. However, we can't just keep telling you the same thing. If u want, i can just save what we all say and copy and paste it! lol Anwyays ryan, we are all here for u. But you have to put a real effort. Don't let us down. Most importantly, don't let yourself down.

Another thing, if you continue to always ask for advice and not take it, people just might get tired of telling you wat to do. They may feel that there is no need to give you advice seeing as though u refuse to apply it. I don't know... but all i know is, the sooner you be confident and work and make yourself feel good. People (girls) will find you attractive and love you for ur strength! Furthermore, if u stay positive, ppl will admire you and can look up to u... In example, fellow enotaloners who are going through a rough time too... LIFE IS WHAT U MAKE IT.

You're most welcome. Sorry tho. I didn't wanna come off as mean. But you have to understand that if u really want to stop hurting, do it! Don't think it, DO IT! We can't make you stop calling her or replying to her messages... But the thing is, you gotta stop feeling sorry for yourself! Stand up... and IMPROVE YOURSELF! Improve meaning, learn new skills, taking up a new hobbie... Make her see that you are new and improved. This will make you feel better and PERHAPS, make you want her back. I strongly recommend you do this to get her off your mind first and all. Just so as not to get your hopes up for a waste. If it works to get her back, then hey, it's a great bonus. Bottom line is Ryan, stop being the victim! Make things happen and just be positive! You won't get her back by being a "im such a loser... pls come back to me.... my whole world is nothing without u..." Think positively. Think : "Ok, no more playing games. You want me, make an effort! You dont, I'm fine with it. I'm not a part-time lover! Either with you and with you all the way, or nothing!" You are not a spare tire Ryan. Your a man! Be a man. Tell her how it is! If she's being so difficult about it, well tough. Suck it up. She missed out! Why waste time in someone who only wants to string you along? Wouldnt that time be better spent on looking for a NEW potential lover who you can have an even better r'ship with?! NC! K?

YOU: "SHould i give him a chance" You have answered your own qs...."he has quite a bad reputation and my friends are warning me against him" thereforeeeE, the answer is NO NO and NO!!! P.S. NO!! PPS! NO ok!? Did i mention "no?" NO!

AGREED morky!! Why do you think it's a turn on?? That's where faeces come out of man! EIW>>>> Besides that, it might be pleasurable for a man, but i don't think it would be pleasurable for the woman... IMO, it would be quite uncomfortable. The anus is not meant to be for sex anyways. It does not produce lubrication and you can actually creak some nerves in there (i heard)... It is very painful... One of my friends have done it and said it killed!

FOZ, I think your ex found a new girl in such a quick time in order to fill in the void. I'm almost certain that this new gf is a rebound. I've just read the whole post and I'm actually 8 motnhs since my ex brokw up with me. Same story, he initiates contact (always; i never call him) and he has replaced me with another girl only after a month. I think we al need to step back the "square" and look at it from different angles. If you put someone else in your shoes, what advice would you give them? The same! RYAN14, PLEASE>>>LISTEN TO THE POST! Do not contact her! Just leave her be! MOVE ON! Sorry, but its frustrating to know that your letting her control you like this. You deserve better man. I was reading your post and its long... but quite frankly, i think your being a wuss! BE a man!~ Over and over people tell you to just STOP, THINK ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Just apply NC religiously! As others mentioned, if she's willing to make an effort to get you back, then thats a different story. However, from what you;ve been posting, it's all bovine fecal matter! Don't go out of your way to find out things about her... Once again, this will hurt you. You know this! I do not need to say it! Listen man, I understand, TRUST ME, it does hurt like a bloody beeping beep! But save yourself. SOrRy! I just don't like to know that a person can control their situation. I don't like tha fact that you can prevent yourself from getting hurt. You're only human, it's very easy to succumb to temptation -- to call, reply or look and enquire about her relationship status...

I still think that i shouldn't get involved with my ex's friend. I think its nasty. I mean, i'm pretty sure that if my ex found out, he'll go crazy, although would never admit to it. Anyways... I'll be 18 soon... I guess my dating field will be bigger. I'm not really interested in looking tho... I mean love is a really beutiful thing, but i think that the heartbreak is not worth it! No, i don't see him at school. I just finished high school this year (last month actually I got my formal this fri!!) he's at uni... I see him at shopping centres... I think what i need is a replacement.... but i dunno when i'm fully healed, or if i ever will. Mn i really let my guard down with that boy. I definitely will not 'open' my heart for the next!

As always, Trueheart, your advice is soo uplifting. THANKS> You have no idea how much it means to me when a person i've never met in my life gives me a heartfelt advice and gives up their time to give me their point of view. THANKS AGAIN. I have been having up's and downs this week. And today, I realised that its been nearly 8 motnhs since the break-up. I mean, i have changed, being a stronger person and all... But i did bump into him agian the other day. It made me nervous and all... But NO I ABSOLUTELY have not been calling him... Actually he called me yet agian... this time he said "are u looking for a job. Cos i can give u one..." Of course i said "no" and we had an awkard moment and then he had to go cos he was at work. Man oh man. That BOY** is confused. WATEVER. Anyways, moving on... I think i've told u, we have mutual friends, anyways, this guy in particular who is a 'close' friends of his (my ex) wants to sleep with me! CAN U BELIEVE IT! I swear my life is a soap>... I told him to sorta lay off and thats rather nasty. I told him that "You're my ex's friend!~" and he's like "He moves on, you should too", "He absolutely don't care. He told me that 'you can do whatever you want with her man, I'm not going out with her anymore!'" OMG I swear what the hell do they think man!! The nerve! I did love this guy a lot. A lot a lot. But i'm really starting to feel that i *hate* him... and i never use that word on anyone! Man oh man... Trueheart... I wish i can cut that section of my brain off...

Honey...the BEST advice i can give u is run the other way... FAST!! You might not be able to see this cos ur in the square, and u might not want to hear this but girl, he's playing u... Think about this: Since u have been together, he knows that you love him. He is gonna take that to his advantage. He will use to get what he wants -- sex. I'm glad to hear u said no. See? He made it clear that he wants u for sex only. I know u care and love him, but having sex with him will increase ur hopes into getting back with him. Whereas he only sees u as a 'goodtime'. Pls... Dont go back to him! DROP HIm!! If u let him continue this, he will see girls as objects... You are worth MUCH more than that! Don't let him make a fool out of u!

Hi there Nicholas... Im feeling so sad today. i saw my ex twice today. Can u believe it?! I mean, i went ice skating with friends at this shopping centre... in the mornin... and int he afternoon, went to another mall near where i live and guess who i seee? HIM! This time with a girl! I dunno why everytime i see him i get all nervous and worked up! Is there anyway i can desensitise myself?! I mean, if he's not around, i feel al strong and "im moving on" mode, but after i see him, i just wanna see and follow him! ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY! WE broke up in April too, why am i not over it?! *sigh* pls ... any advice... Thanks....

Hi there Nicholas! I find your ost very uplifting. You are definitely right, "I don't have to worry about her getting intimate with someone else. That's not in my control. But my own happiness IS in my control. I still feel icky when I think about my ex getting intimate with someone else, but it definitely does get easier everyday. I have an attitude much like yours... I was told by my brother that you should not teach your ex a lesson, you should have taught YOURSELF a lesson -- he ain't worth it! Hehe Anywyas, I'm seriously glad to hear people moving on! I think it's great! How long did it take you to get over your ex? I'm still not fully over mine, I'm at 7 months, but he calls me here and there. In fact, he called me earlier today. Asking whether i was looking for a job cos his Uncle is looking for someone or something. Whatever. I felt akward though. I don't know why, but whenever he calls me and i hear his voice, I get all nervous and stuff... But today's convo was definitely awkward. I wish I didn't pick up the fone. If i knew it was him calling, I definitely wouldn't have!

I don't usually contact mutual friends of my ex, they usually cotnact me through fone, or internet. Occasionally, i also bump into them. The thing is, I wanna keep them as friends. I don't want them to think im such a dog. Just because me and my ex broke up, doesnt mean our mutual friends and i can't be friends... Anyways, because they contact me and i bump into them and stuff, i hear about my ex and it hurts me... I mean, sometimes they just mention him unconsciously and stuff. And the thing is, i want them totalk about him so i look like i'm over him. Which i nearly am! I want them to talk about him so i get desensitised and all. But i dunno it just bloody hurts! The other night, one of the mutual friends was tlaking to me, and someimes i think, maybe she does like me, BUT MAYBE... she is really out to 'get' me cos she is closer to my ex than myself... I just don't know what to do. Should i just block them on the internet, and not pick up their calls? If i do bump into them, just say a quick hi and go? Thats the advice i can tell myself...

I think people (boy or girl) gets attention when they are confident! Not "look at me, look at me!" confident, the hey i admire myself because event though im not good at this, im good at other things. Being confident means your comfortable with yourself. Being comfortable with yourself means that you know what you want and don't want. I think you should be assertive. Being funny also helps get attention. Be natural abut it tho. Not like TRYING HARD to be funny. Let it flow... As for your friend, don't get competitive. She's 'confident'. You should be too! I probably would talk to ur friend (the one who butts in convos) in the low, just expressing yor feelings. Say something like: I would really like it if next time, you let me finish what i have to say. Tonight, i really felt neglected and i know you didn't do it in purpose. Or sumtihing like that. I hope i helped

Well if u go to the 'healing after a break up' section and look at "HOW TO GET OVER AN EX!", you might find it useful.

Thnks so much for your replies. Yeah that is it Mr Mister, i am TOO polite. As mentioned before, when i found out he did it with his new gf, he actually hanged up on me! To everyone else, apparatnly, his new GF does know he calls. And she 'doesnt mind. She's cool with it cos she 'trusts' me!" He said that to me after i said... that "I don't think ur gf would like u callin me!" But he just plays mind games and flips the coin! Comparing me to her... saying, u never trusted me la la la... And im just so pissed! I'm seriosuly thinking of asking my friend to call him and tell him (pls leave her alone). But that might sound weak. Besides, i dunno if he will call agian. Its just so weird. Seriously. But YES he does have a gf, and apparently she knows about me. I wanted to tell him, the difrence between me and ur new gf is that Shes a goose for lettign u do 'watever' you want (smoke, club, get drunk) and 'trust' u... But i didn't! Because I can't put up with that! I did trust him till i caught him lying a number of times. Then he blames me! PFFT! Maybe you deserve each other!

Ur welcome. Thanks SO much for the advice! (instant too! Thanks.... I just dun wanna be a cow to him and be slack like he was slack to me. He DEFINITELY does have a gf. I know becos some mutual friends told me so... Its ok tho. I feel nothing! In fact, i feel sorry for the girl. We broke up cos he became 'popular' and startd to smoke and club and u know? so i dunno... watever! I will do that tho! keep telling him i dun appriciate his calls! THANKS AGAIN GIRL! Salamat! (Thank you in filipino! I read one of ur posts and u mentioned 'mahal kita' so i figured u know filos) Im filo myself!

I totally agree with u mahlina! Sometimes i feel like u and i are the sam kind of girl...

What should u do? My ex and i have been apart for 5 motnhs now, he replaced me with a new girl a month after the break up. The thing is, i was really hurt (as you would expect). It took all the strengh i had to get over him. Like others, at first, i begged and pleaded. But one day i promised myseld that i'd quit crying. Initially i was thinking about how to get revenge, and how to teach him a lesson... BUT i realised that that won't help. I decided that i taught MYSELF a lesson. That he ain't worth it! Anyhoo, after 3 motnhs of NC, i bumped into him. Nothing happened. Several other times, i bumped into him again. One day, i went to a cutural night and i had an idea he would be there, although i didn't go cos i know he would be there. I went because i WANTED to, not to 'bump' into him purposely! Anyways, the next day he calls me.... and ever since then, he called me at least once a week. At first i was like ok that nice... But he kept on talking about his new gf. And of course i got hurt so i told him to stop calling! And he goes "I talk about her cos i don't want to get ur hopes up!" and it gets me sooo frusttrated cos he plays mind games with me! For example, if he knows im being nice and stuff, he'll hit me at a soft spot and put me back to square one! I DID TELL HIM directly and indirectly that i do not appriciate his calls. In fact, when i found out that he had been intimate with this girl (sex) i seriously was disgusted and my rection led him to hang up! I thougth that was it! The end of it! And i was glad! But he Called agian this past monday and agian today! Twice!! I mean, i just don't get it! I told him to stop wasting his money! As calling me constitutes cheating and then again he becomes vain saying "la la la dun think i want u back cos im calling u.... i just wanna be friendss!" and im like "i dont think we can, i mean, we'll be FRIENDLY, but no need to talk on the fone cos you hurt me and i got nothig to say to u! im so much better off without u!" So he hanged up, and then he calls 10 minutes later and asks me 'why does it constitute cheating?? Then starts comparing me to the new gf and telling me next time make sure u get ur bf freedom la la la." ARGHHHH!!! So today when he called, i was nice to him (as always, not nice, but polite) As in, ive told him i dont appriciate his calls and all, but i wasnt like "Get stuffed and all this filthy words" So anyways, i managed to get off the fone saying i was sick (which i was) and i hope dhtat he gets the point!!! Because i always make sure i dun talk to him properly. Meaning, he asks me qs, i answer. i don ask his personal life (cos i dun wanna know~) Spo after that, he calls agian! Can u believe it?! lol And then he's like? Can i call ur land line... and im like "is it important" (HINT HINT) and hes like 'no im just bored, im at work" and im like "why not call ur gf instead" and hes like "oh shes out somewhere" and then he goes, ok dun start arguing with me agiain la la la and im like WTH?! and i fully snapped at him! SAying "look i really dun want u to call! i told u we got nothing to talk abut!" and i fully hanged up! i feel bad... I dunno why he keeps calling! Its so funny cos he was the one who said before (straight after the break up) that im so annoying i keep calling.... that he's ggonna change his number... bla bla bla.... I swear he is soooo vain! and ARGH! I dunno what to do! I just wish i can tell him staright out!? any advice... I just wanna live my life. He's moved on! why does he keepp calling for?!