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I_KicKed_keNNedy

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Everything posted by I_KicKed_keNNedy

  1. I_KicKed_keNNedy
    Lately my GF and I have been having a little problem when we make love. After a while (dunno, somewhere around 20 minutes or so) sex becomes painful for her and we have to stop. I've noticed that she dries out a little at around this time. Recommendations? Should we relube? Is there a health concern? She used to be able to go for a lot longer before.
  2. I_KicKed_keNNedy
    I've never been married, but I have had a friend commit suicide so I can't really offer any advice, just a personal observation. When my buddy did it, that morning he and I went for a run like we always did. Nothing seemed different at the time. In retrospect, maybe there were a few things that I should have picked up, but my memories could be clouded by what I knew happened later. That night he ran the car in his garage. He left a note to his parents and that was it. There was no cry for help, he didn't hint at it to any of us. We all knew he was going through a rough patch but there weren't any tell tale signs nor weird phone calls. The only reason why I'm saying this is because he wanted death more than anything in the world, and what I'm seeing in your situation (again, I'm young and I don't know everything so take it with a grain of salt) is she wants the sympathy and attention more than anything. She wants someone to take care of her, but she doesn't want the nurse prescribed type. If she really wanted to die, she would have hid it and her motives as much as possible and there wouldn't have been any opportunity for you to intervene. You did a great thing, and maybe you do love her. But realize that the type of love she wants may not be what she needs. My granddad always says "Offer a shoulder, but never carry 'em... it'll only weaken both of yer legs."
  3. I_KicKed_keNNedy
    Today, I got a correspondence from a friend from high school (I am 24 now) that was pretty innocent, just a "hey, how's it goin'?" sorta thing. But it was weird because yesterday I was cleaning out my apartment (moving in with my gf soon) and I came accross an old notebook of poems that I had written, and one in particular that I had written about her kind of caught me. Granted, this was 6 years ago and I wrote about several girls those days, so I laughed, crumpled it up, and didn't think anything more about it. but then, literally out of the blue she contacted me today. Too weird. I don't know if its just the amazing timing or what it is, but I find myself thinking about "what if" and "maybe if..." sort of thing. I love my gf more than anything right now, but I have to admit, I am intrigued at the "old friend suddenly appears and romance ensues scenario." I guess I'm asking people what they think about this. Does stuff like this happen? Is it just a weird coincidence? Should I forget it? I don't want to mess things up with my gf, and she's the type who can read me like a road sign, so I can't let my head get too into this. Thoughts?
  4. I_KicKed_keNNedy
    The only sure sign that she's "exploded" is after she lets out a scream that nearly causes the house to collapse... *ahem* you'll find her vaginal opening is very relaxed and you have hardly any resistance as you thrust. Also, my GF gets this redness on her chest that nearly looks like a rash. Its weird.
  5. I_KicKed_keNNedy
    I have a feeling he's doing what I've been seeing a lot of these "internet Casanovas" doing. I've seen some forums and articles going around the internet that teach men "seduction techniques", and one of them is using coquetry. Coquetry is also referred to as "push-pull" or using mixed signals to spur desire in your "target". Since I've seen these articles, I've been noticing a lot of guys doing this crap to girls. I'm not saying this is whats going on in your situation, I just wanted to make some of the women out there aware of this. In your situation, I find it peculiar that he says you aren't religious enough for his parents or whatever. Tell him to cut the umbilical chord and decide for himself how he feels. That self-esteem boost you got had little to do with him. He simply made you realize how awesome you already are. You already knew this, you just needed to come to your senses. If he wants to play games or sit on the fence, you are too good of a person to wait around. Persue the life you've recently regained.
  6. I_KicKed_keNNedy
    sounds like you;re perfect for each other.
  7. I_KicKed_keNNedy
    Blindfold her, squeeze an ice cube in your hand and let the drops fall randomly all over her body and when she starts to shake stick it in and go to town (don't let her take off the blind fold). If you have a removable shower head, take it off and run it over her button while your taking her from behind. Turn out all of the lights in her apartment and run off. When she comes to find you (in the pitch dark), jump out, surprise her, tackle her, and have your way with her. She and I will sit naked with a hookah and smoke... er, tobacco ... Have phone sex while sitting accross from each other pleasuring yourselves.
  8. I_KicKed_keNNedy
    Do you partake in any rigorous physical activity? Any hobbies? Do you do anything outside of the work that is given or presented to you? Do you do anything for the pure enjoyment of the activity? My tip: Learn a new language. For some reason, since I've started studying French (along with a daily exercise regimen), my mood has gone up ten fold. Mate, you're not being selfish, you sound surprisingly human.
  9. I_KicKed_keNNedy
    yeah, for real. Its your house too. Be a man.
  10. I_KicKed_keNNedy
    I say let go. You're shutting yourself off to too many women who could prove to be your next 3 years and 2 month gig.
  11. I_KicKed_keNNedy
    When you first found out about the "inappropriate" on-line relationships did she: a) Deny it, then fess up. b) Justify it at harmless. c) Confess and apologize. If your answer is a or b, I stand by my initial suspicions. If she came to you to confess to these relationships, then she's trying to rattle your cage. She wants more excitement. Buy a Harley.
  12. I_KicKed_keNNedy
    I betcha ten bucks she's interested in someone else. Just call it a hunch.
  13. I_KicKed_keNNedy
    spacebar broke? that's kinda funny
  14. I_KicKed_keNNedy
    Oh, I want to mention that I've been getting pretty close to another friend. She's living with her 4 year BF and she tells me she's looking to get out of it, but she can't because of financial reasons (her current job doesn't pay very well). We've gotten pretty close and we've made out several times but I recognize she might be using finances as an excuse to "get the best of both worlds" by enjoying his stability and financial support and then turning around spending most of her time with me. I don't think this is why I'm hesitating to get involved with the first girl, but I recognize it is a factor too. I really like this other girl a lot, and my family likes her better too, but I doubt its really an option considering the circumstances... $#!t... I don't know how I feel. Maybe I'm just being a jerk. Who knows?
  15. I_KicKed_keNNedy
    I've been seeing this girl for 2 or three months now. She's fun and all, but I don't know if I really love her. In fact, I'm not sure how interested I am at all. Two days ago, we tried to have sex, but it didn't work out (metaphor: trying to fit a banana in a ginger ale bottle), and maybe it was for the better. Since the beginning I've been hoping that I will develop feelings for her. She's boisterous, cute, and a very sweet person. I still haven't. I recognize any feelings I have towards her are strictly physical, and I know she feels stronger about this than me. Either way I know I'm going to hurt her. If the relationship continues, and we continue things physically, I know I will have to let her down at some point. If I cut things off, she will be heartbroken. To complicate things, I work with her. I'd have to see her everyday afterwards if I broke things off. I care enough about her to end it before we get in too deep (which, I feel we may already be), but I care about her enough that I don't want to make her cry. What do I do?
  16. I_KicKed_keNNedy
    Today I had a minor epiphany. I work as a video editor and I was going through some raw video tapes today for archiving purposes, some of these were a couple years old. Well, on one tape there's a shot of my ex talking to the client and setting up the shot. This was before she and I were dating or even remotely interested in each other. I looked at it, and at first I got this weird feeling in my chest. She looked so beautiful, and so many good memories flooded my mind. I sat back for a moment and basked in it, and it honestly almost made me cry, but not in a bad way. Normally, I would have to scan off the shot and go to something else, or I would start to get depressed about that sort of thing. Today I did something different. I looked at her for a long time and tried to remember that day. I could remember how I saw her that day, before she became my best friend, before she became my lover, and before she became my ex... when she was just some woman I worked with. I can remember how I thought she was a little b1tchy, she had acne, she didn't really have an outstanding figure (she's a great dresser though), and her hair was always a little bit of an over curled mess. But after time, friendship, and a year of shared experience, I began to love that acne ridden, sorta flat, frizzy haired b1tch. I guess this may be hard to understand if you haven't been there, but maybe it won't be. I realized then how important first impressions are, but how unimportant they should be. Bean* wasn't incredibly attractive, but she was when she was my Bean. Bean could be b1tchy, but I loved hearing her opinion because she was talking to me. Because I had shared a part of my life (both emotionally, physically, and temporally) with her, she became more than what she appears to many. She became mine... So why was this such an epiphany? And why should it concern you? Well, because I have found myself for much of my life in the "I will never meet the one, I'm giving up on all of this, I feel so alone" mentality... and its true. When I do feel that way, that's how its going to be. But one day I gave myself (and some semi-attractive somewhat annoying person) a try. And it was to show me (a year later) it doesn't have to be like that. I've only come to this conclusion now, even though people have been telling me for years, so I can understand if it doesn't "hit you" just yet. Patience. It will happen for all of us, as long as we let it. Trust me, if you knew who this was coming from, you'd have a change of heart too. *The nickname I had affectionately bestowed.
  17. I_KicKed_keNNedy
    You don't get it, do you? They're trying to take you away from your own mind. Their making you second guess the thoughts and feelings inside of your head. You're all you've got. Don't let someone else tell you something is "wrong" with you. They just don't understand your mind well enough. The greatest minds in history were people to acted, thought, and lived differently. It's the people who spend their lives being "normal" that sit around trying to keep you down. One word for you: ESCAPE. This isn't a dress rehearsal. Its your life and its falling away like wax from a candle. Let the flame burn brightly. Don't let them snuff you out. Don't. Be a girl today, and be a boy tomorrow, and maybe dress like a dog next wednesday if you feel like it.
  18. I_KicKed_keNNedy
    Today, like any other… I zombied through a routine I created but have yet to duplicate. I stumbled into and out of the shower and found myself damp in the interim. I purposefully left my eggs under falling garlic and stripped my banana naked before reducing it to a palatable sludge. Cow lactation washed my magnesium and B-Complex down, and the aforementioned garlic and tree fruit enjoyed the white company. After sucking the cold end of a burning pipe for a moment, I masked my nudity with button down cloth. Today, like any other… I key-started my chariot and maneuvered it through a simple maze of lights, flat rock, and easily violated boundary lines. A satellite fed me quips, soliloquies, and melodies to keep my mind from getting too involved in what should be a mindless procedure. Today, like any other… I can feel free will even in a fated existence. I felt it when I saw a lonely paperclip in the hallway of the office and the seemingly soulless paperclip somehow willed itself back to its kind (in a cup on my side desk). And then it happened. Now, unlike today… I felt comfortable in my decision to let the world run its course. I exercised my free will and chose to give fate the wheel. Now, unlike today… I detached myself from my fellow man and left myself at the mercy of their desires. I am the master who has chosen servitude. Now, unlike today… I no longer ask myself what I would do today if I were to die tomorrow. Now, I convince myself I died yesterday, and today is but a consequence. And this enigmatic machine has somehow liberated me from its crushing judgment.
  19. I_KicKed_keNNedy
  20. I_KicKed_keNNedy
    Maybe later when I get my thoughts together about this, I'll be able to explain a little better, but here goes nothing: Does anyone feel.... virgin or not... that there is a sexual world (a clubhouse if you will) in the surrounding enviornment, but no one will let you in? Almost like being a roadie for a band. You tour with the band, you can play guitar/bass well, and you've got the look down pat, but you're not in the band, and no matter how hard you work at getting the stage set up, there is no way in hell they (the band, fans, or anyone else) will let you play with them, let alone say you're a part of the band. (Mind you, the above is a metaphor. Don't give me examples of a band that needed their roadie to come in and play for their guitarist when he broke his arm skatboarding or wehn he got set on fire.)
  21. I_KicKed_keNNedy
    She's leading you by the nose and she thinks she has a good friend. She'll treat you like an untrained puppy: You're cute, cuddily, and great for her to carry around and show her friends... But there's no way she let you up on the bed.
  22. I_KicKed_keNNedy
    Having lunch with some co-workers today, two are older than me, one is a little younger. Well, one invited the other girls out to go drinking with them tomorrow night and then she turned to me and said: "I would invite you [my name], but the bridesmaids are taking me out for a Girls Night thing. Although, you could probably go 'cause you're kind of 'one of the girls'." And she wasn't kidding. I gave her an incredulous look (as if I could do anything else), and she was like: "I didn't mean it like that. I meant that as a compliment you know..." I didn't take it as a compliment though. That seems to be my problem. I do my best to keep my abrasive/sarcastic/antagonistic qualities quiet when I'm around women because I'm doing my best to be a nice guy, but this gets me nowhere. I can already see the posts from you all... "All girls eventually realize they like the nice guys," and "some of the best relationships start as good friendships," and the quintessential "women will see you as a great person because of the respect you show them"... But I can say with confidence that all of that is bull$hit. In the rare occasion we progress to "more than friends", they become uncomfortable whenever I start showing my lascivious side. I get taken for granted, and they leave me with the parting words "you're a really special guy, and I can't wait to see the lucky girl that falls for you..." yadda yadda f'n yadda. I didn't realize "special guys" were so disposable. I spend more time with women than any male I know. You'd figure I'd have them all figured out, but I guess I don't. All I'm left with is questions, especially with the one "When is it actually going to happen?" Part of me is tired of being the nice guy. Part of me wants to let loose and be the voices in my head. At least if I failed as much as I did in "love", it'd be an honest failure. Whatever... happy Friday the 13th.
  23. I_KicKed_keNNedy
    A friend of mine says they call straight acting homosexuals "stromos", and that's the closest thing to what they'd call it. As for the term I wanted, I have to quote the conversation: Me: Let's say you're at a bar and you see a good looking guy... Him: Okay... Me: And you want to work a gig with him, but you soon find out he's straight. Him: Does he act gay? Me: No. He acts very straight. What do you call it when you are attracted to a guy who isn't gay? Him: Every day of my life. Me: No, I mean what do you call the guy who isn't gay, but you are attracted to? Him: A challenge? Me: I'm looking for a nickname for that type of guy. Him: Make something up. Me: Well, I'd rather have a name that you guys use. Him: Do you want me to make something up? Me: Well, I'm more looking for something universal. Like one that you guys would recognize if I used it. Him: Right. At the next League of Gay-tions meeting, I'll put a motion in for that. If you knew him, you'd find it a lot funnier. He's one of those guys who's funny without even trying.
  24. I_KicKed_keNNedy
    Do homosexuals have a nickname or a term for straight people they are attracted to? I'm working on a script where two gay men are talking about a straight man they both have fantasies about, and it would be much easier if there was a term or a nickname for that type of situation.
  25. I_KicKed_keNNedy
    Last week she dumped me. She had a few excuses (distance, different career paths, etc...) but it came down to the fact that she wanted to end things. I acted cool, and I said, "ah well, that's what has to happen," but I know deep down I felt I had been gouged pretty bad. I know deep down I hurt because tonight, after a couple of glasses of wine, the first time I had seen her since we broke up... I lied to her about an affair that "sorta" happened. Story: when I went to NY on business, I hung out with a girl and she was really cool. Nothing happened, she just showed me the sights and we hung out. The last night I was in NY I bought Yankees tickets and I got my GF to come out to see the game with me. Tonight, when I was talking to her, she asked if there were any other skeletons in the closet and I told her a lie. I said I kissed the girl who showed me around NY and I bought the Yankees tickets because I felt bad about it. None of that happened, but I just told her that lie because I wanted to hurt her. Well, it "worked". This is easily the one of the worst nights of my life. She was in tears about it. I asked "did it cheapen the Yankees tickets gift?" and she said it did, and I feel sick about it. Not just because I told her something that wasn't true, but because I didn't really want to hurt her this bad. It is now Wednesday, and she will be going back to Hartford on Sunday morning, and I don't really know what her family plans this week... I don't want to leave it like this. What do I do? I seriously messed up this time, what do I do? If I tell her that I made it up and it never really happened, she'll either not believe me or think I'm even more screwed up than she did before.... I have made such a mess of this.
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