I_KicKed_keNNedy

As someone else who works in news media (television), I can offer the following guarantees: 1) It will always be needed an hour before you can get it done. (Famous line: I want it yesterday so it'll run tomorrow.) 2) You can't rely on anyone. 3) In the sports division, females will never get the respect they deserve (except when they file their EEO report at the end of the fiscal year). 4) You want something done right? Do it yourself. But don't worry, someone else will tell always be there to tell you what you did wrong.

Its a delicate balance. Because of your personal involvement, you feel slightly obligated to them, yet because of your personal involvement, they have used that to fall short on some of their obligations. Detach yourself from the situation and ask yourself what advice would you give someone you disliked who happens to be in this situation? Also, ask yourself if you want to be asking yourself this question in another ten years. You'd be surprised how fast ten years can go by the second time around.

Ok, they are splitting up my grandmother's assets/estate, even though she's not dead. She's in a nursing home. Background: My older sister received a sum of money for her books in college, my cousin is going to receive this same amount for her college books, and my sister is supposed to receive the same amount for whatever she might need. I've never gotten anything, so my mother wants to cut me a check for this amount. I don't know how I feel about it. My gramma isn't dead yet, and I feel like its a feeding frenzy on her. They sold her house and everything in it and her children are divvying it up as if she had just died. It all seems perverse to me. Granted, I am not financially comfortable in any way, and the money could help me a lot on my two loans (college and car), but I am perfectly capable of keeping up on these. I don't feel right taking the money. Like my grandmother's assets, I'm divided on this issue.

A well-known yet well-ignored fact: Men's tastes in women can not be relied upon or predictable. I have fallen head over heels for women who, I can tell, my friends are not in the least bit attracted to. One time I practically jumped into bed with an objectively unnatractive woman just because I was turned on by her accent (I think she was Welsh). I also had a thing for a cross eyed girl from my lab class in high school, just because she was into classic Russian literature (She even knew who Lermontov was!). Men are weird like that.

I dunno, its kind of both. I find there is a certain glow they often have thats a bit of a turn on. I guess I'm just as attracted to their physical figure as I am by the ineffable aura that surrounds most of them during that phase. I mentioned it because she had said she would be worried about all the weight she'd put on if she got pregnant, and I told her that it would only make her more attractive to me. On a slightly less happy note, my predilection might be a result of being molested/raped by my pregnant aunt when I was 11. I usually avoid mentioning that, but since this board offers me anonymity...

I'm going to take a different approach in answering this question than the others may. I've noticed that people who are in relationships seem uneasy around those who are perfectly content without them. I myself will confess to being on both sides of it. I liken it to a person who is an avid coffee drinker who meets up with someone who avoids caffeine religiously. If they are the type of person who enjoys a cup when they can, a caffeine abstainer doesn't bother them in the least. If they are the type who can't go an hour or two without their fix, they become uncomfortable around someone who doesn't even sip a diet soda from time to time. They are partially jealous of your solitude and comfort in being "one who walks alone" (for the time being). Plus, I've noticed that when parents talk to other parents, its a badge of honor to have all of the children out of the house and happily married. Its hard for a parent to boast of how happy their child is unless they have the commonly accepted attributes to, well... attribute the happiness to (ie, marriage, high-paying job, high-profile career, etc.)

Ok, this might make a few women on this part of the message boards a little uncomfortable, but I thought this would be the best place to get advice on this. A couple weeks ago my gf and I had a little mishap. None of the "ingredients" made it in her (I pulled out before it happened) and its the only time we've ever done it without a condom. But afterwords we had a long and very serious conversation about the possiblity of children, when we'd feel comfortable having them, and what we would do if we had a true accident. It was a good conversation, and I was glad we seemed to be on the same page and we could talk seriously and frankly about it. However, there was a brief pause in the conversation when I admitted to her that I have always been very attracted to pregnant women and I was turned on by their figure (I guess you could call it a fetish). She asked me matter-of-factly if I would ever try to get her pregnant to play into this fantasy and I said "Good god no!" There is no way I can afford a child at this point, and I don't have plans to have any kids for a few years yet. It was out of the question. But since I revealed this she's done a few things that make me wonder if she's uncomfortable with someone who has that sort of sexual predilection. We were at a restaurant and a very pregnant woman sat near us and she said with a smirk "Hey, check out that one." Or when we were about to be intimate the other night, she asked (in a very condescending/sarcastic tone of voice) if I wanted her to stuff a pillow in her shirt and do some role playing. She and I have been very open with each other when it comes to our sexuality, and I've done my best to cater to her urges and tastes, I feel like she's taken a backhanded nature to this. Also, does my attraction to this type of women concern women or make me appear perverted in some way? Does it bother you (I'm speaking to those who are/were pregnant) that I would "bend that way"? In advance, I thank anyone here who is willing to entertain this somewhat awkward question.

Okay, saturday my GF and I were staying the night at a friend's place and I got a call from a good friend. My GF and I had just come back from the bar and we were very "happy". The phone call went like this: Her: Hey, how are you doing? Me: Good... I'm frickin' trashed right now. Her: You sound it. Is it okay for me to talk to you right now? Me: Yeah, [GF]'s cool. She's right here. Her: Oh, okay... Me: Yeah, I think I'm gonna get laid in a few minutes too. Her: Um, I'm going to let you go then. Me: Well, uh, okay. Do you want me to give you a yell tomorrow? Her: Its up to you... *Hangs up* I get a text from her twenty minutes ago telling me "Thanks for ruining my otherwise wonderful night, don't call me tomorrow." What the frick did I do? I mean, yeah, its a little rude to tell someone about your sex life, but she's a very good friend, and its nothing I wouldn't tell anyone else I was tight with, and I was drunk. I talked to her briefly today, and all she kept telling me was "That was soooo rude." Seriously, why is she still so pissed at me? My GF says its because "she's still not over you..." which I think is retarded. She and I haven't been involved in almost a year now.

I'm 24. Ideal weight (maybe a little skinny). Excercise regularly. Decent diet: rarely eat fast food or junk food except for the occasional chocolate bar. Been with a girl for a while. We've maintained a pretty regular sex life. As far as I know I'm not depressed, nor do I have a bleak outlook on life. I'm not making as much money at my job as I would like, but honestly, who does? Job isn't stressful, in fact its one of the easier ones out there (easy enough I can take a few minutes to post this). The last few weeks my libido has diminished quite a bit. I did go through a slightly rough patch with my gf, but it was a little before that when it started. I'm not turned on by my gf as much, and I'm not turned on by women in general as much, if at all. I've had nothing to complain about in my sex life, yet it seems I have even less to get excited about lately. I thought it might be a seasonal thing, but its never been this bad before. Don't tell me I'm getting old already, I just got started. What else could cause a libido to wither?

I talked to her again a few minutes ago. She claimed she had told me about this before. She's lying. I DEFINITELY would have remembered that. There would have been an argument and a huge deal and when I saw the photo it would have been "Oh, so that's what she was talking about," rather than " ?" I knew she had kissed guys before, its considered polite to give someone a hug and a peck where we are from, but it is never acceptable to out and out make out with them. I'm more ticked at the fact she did hide it from me and that she's lying about that now. And the fact that she's acting flustered: "I don't know what more I can say," almost as if she's expecting me to be like, "Oh don't worry about it, I just got a little jealous. I'll be better in a few hours." If I had done something like this she would have beat the living hell out of me. I'm so mad, I'm not sure what to do. There was a day where I could find solace in a bottle of cab and a pack of smokes, but I don't do that any more. How the heck do you unleash your angry emotions with yoga and meditation? Burn more incense?

You have a very narrow view of Karma. Examples: 1)Jane is a very good person. She is nice to everyone, and she goes out of her way to do good deeds. Jane also asks the cosmos: "What's in it for me? I keep doing nice things for people and they don't do nice things in return!" The cosmos doesn't reward Jane because she isn't a good person... she only acts good to get a reward. 2) Joan is a very pure soul who does good things for people almost out of habit. She is very honest and very self-sacrificing because she is that type of person. She never asks whats in it for her, she only asks what more she can do. One day she is cheated out of $1000 by a man she trusted. Why did the cosmos do something like that to her? Because Joan was going to take that $1000 and buy a ticket to spring break in Cancun, where she would be slipped a roofie and gang raped by four frat brothers from Michigan State. The cosmos saved her from such a terrible fate. 3) John is a real jerkwad. He seems to get everything he wants, but he treats everyone with contempt and he continually screws them over to better serve himself. John is rich and John gets laid all of the time. Is the cosmos setting him up for something? Is John's actions symptomatic of an underlying unhappiness that brings him to tears everytime he's alone? Is John actually a nice guy who's been caught in some weird circumstances that made him appear to be a jerk rather than the cool cat he is? ....that's between John and the cosmos.

We'd been seeing each other since February. We became exclusive at the beginning of July.

I don't have any intention of doing so. I don't know him. He's from another state, and I have no desire to meet him. I don't feel any distaste towards him because he, like many other men, felt fondly of her. It was her job to resist his advances. It could have just been left at that, but she chose to let him kiss her. She may have been drunk when she kissed him, but I doubt she was drinking when she mailed him the photo.

I just did about five minutes ago. I asked her about the duplicate and she said he's got the other one. All she said was "We were really drunk." Her throat tightened, and she tried to act as if it was no big deal, but I could tell she was a bit taken aback. I asked her "How would you feel if you found a picture of me doing the same thing?" And she responded, "I'd probably be pissed." I didn't ask about sex, I didn't ask anything else. All I did was get out of the car and say "I'm not cool with this. We'll talk about it later." And that was it.

Today I was looking in my gf's closet for a DVD and I found some pictures from her vacation in August. She had gone down there with two of her friends. I was surprised they existed because she had never shown them to me (I have sat through many an hour of "this is Tiffany really drunk, and there's a shoe she found in the parking lot... its so funny..."). There's a few pictures of a guy I knew she was pretty tight with and one picture of them kissing very passionately in a bar. This was months ago, and things have been really good since. We did have one rough patch (which... was not too long after she came back from the trip). I want to let this go, 'cause maybe it was just a kiss and nothing more but there are a few things that bother me about it... 1) He and she talk pretty consistantly on the phone, and one time he said "I love you" and when I asked about it she said, "I dunno.. he gets weird sometimes." 2) When we had sex when she came home, we had to stop after a short while because she said "It feels really raw down there..." and I figured it was because we hadn't had sex in two weeks. 3) There's doubles of every picture in that envelope, except for that one. Do I say something? Am I paranoid?

You shouldn't be acting at all. You should be being yourself. So she falls in love with the "playing hard to get" version of you. How long are you going to have to keep that up? I'd say, go with the girl that likes you for who you are. You'd be amazed how well that works.

You made the mistake of putting this in the Getting Back Together forum as opposed to the Breaking Up section. That tells me exactly why you're doing the NC. That sort of faux pas screams desperation. You made that mistake on an internet forum, guess what other mistakes you've probably made IRL? You can pretend you don't want her back all you want, but you'll only look like your pretending. The body will always betray you no matter how much you attempt to cover up your true intentions. She knows you only mentioned that girl to make her jealous and she knows you were keeping the conversations short to make her want you more. Don't try to fake it. Tell her your true feelings and if she still hangs you out to dry, why the hell do you want to stick around for that? You'll get a pit in your stomach when she tells you "she just needs a friend." That's your body saying, "screw this, let's find something else." So go find someone who won't do that and stop playing the games.

Just some questions that may have been asked (I haven't read pages 3-5). 1) Could all of the fertility treatments be messing with her head? 2) Do you feel the relationship needs a child, or do you wish to accentuate your love with a child? 3) The first time she cheated on you it was with a much younger guy, and later she tried to get you to wear a more contemporary style of jeans, do you think this is a peculiar coincidence? 4) If you were to look at her actions alone, and ignore what she may have said to you and what you think she feels, what do those actions say about her intentions? 5) When do you two find yourselves happiest with the marriage?

Just had lunch with my GF and I talked to her about it. She had two takes on it: 1) Women are competitive. They get a charge out of "one-upping" another woman. It somehow validates their standing in society or something. 2) She said that attractive women are so annoyed with all of the men that hit on them constantly, when someone comes along who obviously isn't trying, its so relieving they want to hold on to that even if it means becoming romantically involved. She also pointed out that one of our mutual friends has been trying to work his gig with her lately. Evidently on the phone the other day he gave some dramatic speech and said "I think I'm falling for you." We laughed. If you knew the guy, it'd be funny. I guess that's just how it is.

No, someone I work with asked if I "felt some sort of connection" with her. This is only a couple weeks after a good friend of mine (who is engaged to someone else, mind you) tried to kiss me.

This is more a rant than a question, but... After yet another awkward encounter of the "I know you're seeing someone, but don't you feel that we have some sort of connection...?" question, I am friggin ticked off. I mean, where were all of these girls when I was single and semi-suicidal? I have little doubt in my mind that I'm with a great gig, but where was this temptation when I wanted/needed it?

I understand where you're coming from entirely. My GF and I will buy porn together and she likes the anal stuff, whereas I do not. I'm very much turned off by the idea, but I recognize that if I let her do her own thing without my intervention/judgment, she won't come asking me to do something I don't want to do. Sidenote: One ex asked me to tie her up when we were being intimate and I refused (dunno, it just seemed too weird for me). We found a "happy medium" in which I would hold her arms above her head. Sometimes compromise is all that's necessary.

I get much better orgasms after I've been exercising. I will go out for a run than a couple hours later I'll have sex or masturbate for a while. Just before climax, I'll get this tingle in my head and I'll know its going to be intense. I also find I disagree with another poster. I find the longer I go without coming, the more intense it is. One time over the summer, my GF and I had gone for at least an hour (we missed C.S.I.) and when I let loose it was so intense I started shivering. That was also when I was a vegetarian. Dunno if that had something to do with it. Also, since I've been practising continence (only coming 1 or 2 times a week, and not everytime I have sex/masturbate) I've found the orgasms have been much more intense as well.

Which brings me to another point. It seems like our range of motion is pretty limited. Unless she is facing me and at an angle of 45 degrees or less (maybe 60, I'm guessing), she complains it hurts. Could this be a sign of something wrong with her? Something incompatable with us?

No, quite the opposite. When she "goes" things get very damp, but in the event of that we have to stop too because she says its too sensitive and we have to wait a few minutes to start again.