Slagar

Like the others said, you should NOT pursue this. It will only push her away, and she won't want to be near you anymore. Not even as a friend, because it will make things very complicated and uncomfortable for her. It's natural that you can be attracted to someone like that, but you should realise that she is related to you, that it is wrong to try and be with her. Keep away from her for a while, go clubbing, get some new girls in your life until you click with one. You'll be better off for it. Ever seen that movie "Say It Isn't So" ? It seemed kinda relevant. Except that in your case, it won't work out all happily ever after, as that was just a B grade movie...

Nice post scaryhobo It applies to me a little, and I am sure there are many people that will find this helpful. Keep up the good work

Oh, there are many For a new love, or being in love: Everlong - FooFighters Perfect Girl - Black Lab Circus Lights - Black Lab Falling in Love Again - Anika Moa Everywhere - Michelle Branch Breathe - Michelle Branch Head Over Feet - Alanis Morisette I Want To Dance With You - Live Sparkle - Live Tonight, Tonight - Smashing Pumpkins Today - Smashing Pumpkins Iris - Goo Goo Dolls Breakup songs (to bring the tears out): The Scientist - Coldplay Trouble - Coldplay Goodbye To You - Michelle Branch Desperately - Michelle Branch Say It Ain't So - Weezer Time Ago - Black Lab Tell Me Why - Black Lab Tell Me What To Say - Black Lab Wash It Away - Black Lab (more upbeat this one) Crawling - Linkin Park In The End - Linkin Park Creep - Radiohead Adam Song - Blink 182 Dammit - Blink 182 If You're Not The One - Daniel Bedingfield Bop Bop Baby - Westlife That's just a few from my MP3 collection... there are many more though. Granted, I can't listen to many of my songs anymore because of the emotions and memories they drag out of me.

Hey Hotlipz, there are some great tips for flirting and such on this site... Also, these tips on shyness might be helpful too... I find myself, that looking them in the eyes and smiling once in a while helps, then looking away almost bashfully. Always being cheerful when they're around too. Sail gave a few good ones as well... but there are some good ones on the links above. Of course, if you've been friends for as long as you say, it could be quite difficult to get him to notice you in that way... Good luck and keep us posted

Edge, no offense, but if you don't want to read the post, don't read it. If you are sick of posts by this user, just ignore them. It isn't that difficult. People come here for advice, and QTpie is looking for some. If you don't want to help, then that's fine, don't. No reason to get in a huff just because someone has posted about a similar topic a few times. Besides, for some people (me especially) it is good to read 'updates' on people's situations, as it's nice to see how previous advice has worked out for them. Good luck QTpie! I'll pray for ya

As for above, I don't think you have anything to worry about in that department; like the other guys said. Some people are just natural flirts... it can be quite difficult to get used to going out with a person who is like that, but if they assure you that it is nothing, then you should trust them until they prove otherwise. If you feel she is spending just a little too much time with someone in particular, then just let her know, and she should respect you, and realise that it is making you feel a bit uncomfortable.

If it does come up, then I think you should be truthful to him and tell him that it didn't really happen that way, that you regret your past, and that you are not like that. As a number... well... I recently found out that a friend of mine (he is 19) has slept with 13 girls! I had absolutely no idea he was such a... well, it was a shock. His girlfriend (also a good friend) was also quite shocked. But I can definitely see it now; he is a very natural flirt, even though he is with someone. It changed my perception of him a lot actually... and not in a good way But meh, he is still a good friend. He just has a very different view on the world =) As for the 'average girl' or guy for that matter, I'd imagine it would be a LOT lower Sensible people don't get into that kinda stuff too quickly (at least, that's how I see things). But it depends on the age group too, upbringing, and socio-economic groups etc... many factors. As for me, I am 18 and a half, and don't plan on getting laid anytime soon... I don't really care about getting laid at all... even leaning towards not looking forward to it... which must seem bizarre coming from a guy I just want love. Maybe that's just me though - I am a very shy, conservative kind of guy. Not all too confident in myself either... which sucks, because apparently I am a lot cooler and more attractive than I see myself I'll shut up now. Good luck, and I hope everything works out for ya!

*applauds* *cheers* I wholeheartedly agree with what has been said! You guys rock (excuse the pun) There is no way I am leaving this site any time soon lol... Most forum-esque sites I get bored of after a while, and stop reading/posting... but this site has continual inspiration from a lot of truly amazing people!

Hmm... that is very true, and great advice Mar...

Yes, I totally agree... I am in a similar position myself... Love is just like that I guess For example, read my sig, lol. Good luck

Heh. I refrained from posting for a while, as that would remove the 0 from your thread, and because I doubt I can help much in this very tough situation... It seems to me like she does feel a bit intimidated by you. I can see it as feeling almost competitive for her - and feeling as though you are bested in nearly every way can't be good. If it is really just because she wants her own place, and to live by herself for a while, I think contacting her and trying to get her back won't help, as she will just get stubborn and feel like that would be giving in. She wants to do this for herself, and prove to herself that she is capable of getting through this on her own. Perhaps she needs to prove to herself that she can be totally self reliant, and that she needs no one. Either way, it is a real shame, especially because it is damaging the kids... standing by and watching must be hellishly difficult But: If it was meant to be, then everything will work out somehow. Maybe after a time, she will come to realise how much she misses you, how this is affecting the kids, and how crap life really is without you. I hope everything works out for you, good luck.

Kuhl, that's a horrible story! D Yep, I agree pretty much with what vfunkera said... at the very least there is no reason you could not be friends have have quite a bit of fun together. Hope things go okay for ya

Rofl That sounds about right, yeah. I am sure it has worked out for SOME people... I think realistically, it is not worth the trouble though. Perhaps it is possible to make a friend online, and eventually become more, especially if you live close by... but if I wanted to find love, the last place I'd look would be online dating...

Be careful. Don't let her use you like she is using the other guys. It is setting you back in the healing process, and making you feel worse. This is a really sad story, and I am sorry to hear it, but you don't want to get caught up in this mess. My guess is she emotionally hurting, and/or hiding from her feelings as Cid said, and this has caused her to act quite irrationally. She will eventually realise it, and regret all this. Till then, there isn't much you can do.

What are your main reasons for feeling this way? Is it possible it is just puberty? Depression becomes quite a common thing at your age. But you will grow out of it. Perhaps you should try to work out your problems one at a time. Spending time with friends helps... do things that cheer you up and take your mind off death; hobbies etc. Although I don't know any specifics, I am sure your mum DOES care about you. If all else fails, thinking positively always helps. Make it a habit to stop thinking negatively about yourself and your life. By seeking help, you have proven that you feel there is still something worth saving in your life. Build on that, and don't give up! I hope this helps a little. Hang in there, and good luck

Okay… so… it was a pretty messy breakup, me doing everything wrong (grrr… I had to find this site AFTER…) Basically, I messed up, she was confused, and started avoiding me, until I asked her straight out to tell me what she wanted. I pretty much pressured her to make a decision, and I suggested (OMFG!) that if she felt it was over, that we could just be friends. She replied a day later, saying she was breaking up with me, and said "friends sounds good"… this was like almost 2 months ago now. We didn't go out for a very long time, but I totally fell for her. So I did the no contact thing for about 3 weeks… as much as possible anyway, with seeing her at work one day a week. We both work at a supermarket, she works on checkouts, and I supervise the night she works. Anyway, after that, I pretty much caved, and started talking to her again… just trying to see if she was willing to be friends, and because I couldn't stand it. BUT… she still doesn't like talking to me She will only talk to me if it is work related, or if I ask her a direct question. She never smiles when I am around anymore, it's really sad. It seems she was happier when I avoided her… that is quite a killing thought right there. As you can tell, I would do anything to get her back, but like… if friends is all we could be, I am willing to go with that, because I still care about her heaps, and I still want her in my life, even just as a friend. Is there anything I can do to make her stop being like this? Should I do the no contact thing again indefinitely, until she initiates contact? But, I feel as though if I leave it to her, she won't, until she eventually exits my life completely… Thanks in advance guys…

Very insightful Justagirl... It's messages like this that make me feel I'll never get sick of reading this site. Keep up the great work...

In my experience, I have found tea tree oil to be quite effective. Other than that, I just be careful of what I eat, and I have no problems anymore... I now consume plenty of fruit, vegetables, and water, and avoid chocolate, soft drinks, and junk food if I can. You are what you eat! ... But, it does sound like you are overreacting a little... =)

Why do men lie? No, I think mahlina has hit it right on the head. Often, they want to avoid the brutal truth, just as any sensible person would, so they sort of euphemise... Perhaps men are slightly less forgiving in that sense. But it just depends on the girl...

Hmm... that's a tough one (aren't they all?)... I am not clued up. How long since the breakup? Was your best friend friends with him as well, or did they just meet through you? If the breakup was fairly recent, then that's a pretty rotten thing for a best friend to do. If it was some time ago however, and your ex was a friend of her's too (ie. didn't just meet through you) then I would probably be able to excuse it. I can't really decide whether you should continue to be friends with the person though - that you'll have to do on your own. But, if it were me, I can't see myself as being able to forgive my friend all too easily... Ahh... S4il beat me too it... and with much better advice too, as usual

You are NOT alone It feels like that at first... and it may last a while, two years is quite a long time... but eventually you will get better. In the mean time, go out, have some fun with friends etc... keep doing things to keep you occupied, and try not to think about it too much. I am sure you are a really wonderful person, and that there are plenty of guys out there that would love to meet you. It will take some time, but you'll get back on your feet. Time heals all wounds... I am not too great at advice, but I try. Hope that helps a little. Good luck P.S. From England eh; you guys won the rugby... damn you Wilco

Don't worry about it so much. Don't think about it. Just go and see what she wants, with no expectations of anything. It is hard, but it must be done. Hope everything works out for ya... good luck

You lucky person... Perfect timing actually... I was just thinking "omg... this feeling will never go away"... It still won't... But, knowing that it will with time... I guess, well, it makes me feel a little better. Thanks

I think getting used to physical contact is a very tough barrier for shy people (me included). Don't be afraid to hold hands! He won't bite! (unless you want him to perhaps ) Other than that, once you get more used to physical contact, the rest should come pretty naturally. At the end when you kiss, hold eachother for a bit, to get more used to it. Once you become comfortable with eachother, kissing will become more natural... ... at least, that's my take on the situation. Good luck

Try not to think or worry about it, as that will make it harder. If you find the right moment, then you should just go for it... often a good time is at the end of the date when you're about to bid her goodnight. Goodluck