Slagar

Hmm, wow... thankyou both for your helpful replies Yeah, I am definitely going to give this some more thought, and will probably talk to her about it. I am not going to talk to her about it just yet, as she seems to have forgotten for now, so I don't really want to bring it back up, as it'll just make her mad at me again... But the next time she brings it up, or something like this happens, I will definitely give it a try. Thankyou both for your insight!

The other day, I was meant to go around to my girlfriend's house during the day, and bug her while she studied. I was going to come round at 10am. I have been working late shifts recently (6pm-3am, getting to sleep around 5am) and so I would generally sleep until around 2pm each day. Anyway, even though I didn't work the previous night, I slept in... I woke up at about 1:30pm to heaps of txt messages... she was very offended and angry at me... She was really furious with me... which I can understand, but I didn't mean to. She was saying I am extremely rude, and was acting as though I don't love her or anything. I was very sorry (as always!) and made everything alright again... but it really angers me actually. She knows I always sleep in, and how late I work... and I don't really see what the big deal was. I was only going to come around to her house anyway. I feel that she often makes me play the "bad guy" in the relationship. When she does something wrong, I tend to not really get mad at her... I find I can't *really* be angry with her, because when I am, I know she feels bad for what she has done, which makes me feel bad, so I take it with a bit of a laugh and forgive her, and get over it quickly. I just find it a bit frustrating because when the tables are turned, she gets very emotional and gets extremely angry with me... and I am left to apologise and pick up the pieces to make things better... and even then she remains angry at me for my mistake, and doesn't really forgive me >_ Also, I don't like the way she deals with things. When she is in the wrong, I accept what has happened, and accept her apology, and get over it... when she is angry with me however, she more or less just continues to be angry with me, and just says to forget about it and not bring it up anymore, because she is mad over the matter. Which works out badly, because I still feel guilty, and I know she is still really angry over it... and then she just ends up bringing it up at a later date! Are all girls this emotional? Are guys always the bad ones? (it seems like it as far as I have seen) I KNOW I was in the wrong... but I felt she really overreacted given the circumstances. She made me out to be a very cruel/evil person! I just want her to accept that I am sorry for what has happened, and to give me some kind of closure. Perhaps I am just too nice? I really love the girl, and I don't want to lose her, but I am at the point where I feel like there is no point in being sorry for what I have done, simply because she won't accept it... and it's not fair when she does something wrong, because she gets off easy. What can I do about this? Sorry it's so long. Any thoughts would be appreciated. She knows about this site, and will kill me if she reads this, lol.

Wow, you're a twin Kel? Cool Hey, congrats on the twins! If you need help with names, just do a quick search on google... there are heaps of sites out there with names galore!

That does seem very difficult Just try to chill out a little. There is still a possibility you're not gay. That can be a very difficult age... even if you don't think it is "some teenage thing" it's best to leave it until you are completely sure. As you have said, you haven't even kissed another girl. You'll have to just take things slowly, and find out more about your sexuality. It will take time. If you are gay or bisexual, that is nothing to be ashamed of. You are who you are, and if your parents really love you, then they should one day be able to accept that too. As Scott says, it is best not to tell them just yet though... keep things quiet for now until you are really sure, and you are ready. I wish you the best of luck. Keep us updated

Hmmm... wow... thanks SO much for the GREAT replies everyone! Also, the money doesn't affect her. She isn't one of those "rich b!tch" types I mean... she was a bit when she was younger, but she has gone through some very tough times in her life, which have changed that completely. She is a very nice, sweet, kind, lovely girl, and she makes me very happy. And although she has it easy moneywise, she still works very hard at work and in school... and she knows that things won't always be like that. But you are right... she does love me for who I am. I only have to take one look at her to see it... I shouldn't let these things get to me like that... when I know we really love eachother, and she isn't like that. It's just, difficult sometimes I guess. Edit Oh also, she didn't just spend on my birthday... she personalised everything (like omg, the card!! and made it a VERY special day for me The thing that triggered it at the moment: she is in Sydney for about 8 days, and her mum gave her a lot of spending money. It just hit a nerve... as I have never been overseas but have wanted to since I was a little kid, and she has been txting me telling me how great it all is (because she had never been overseas either). Thankyou all for your great replies. They are all very helpful You've all just made my day, and brightened my mood considerably. I am going to bookmark this thread, and whenever I start having doubts about that, I'll have a read. Thankyou all!

Hi Sweetie It's good to see you've done the right thing by letting him go. You're better off without a guy like that... It will be hard for a while... make sure you don't see him regularly, as this will set you back in the healing process. Try to keep busy and do things with friends. Go out and have fun to take your mind off guys (especially him) for the time being. Right now is for you! Concentrate on yourself, and improving your own life, so when you are ready for a new relationship, it'll work out better. Take care of yourself during this difficult time. Be kind to yourself. A guy like that doesn't deserve you. If you need anyone to talk to, we're here to help

My girlfriend's parents are architects; they make a lot... she is an only child. My dad is a teacher, my mum works at a supermarket, and there are 5 kids in our family. My parents don't give me anything more than they have to moneywise... so I've been working as soon as I was legally allowed (my 15th birthday!) to have money for myself. I spend my own money, and everything I do and buy comes out of my own pocket. I am a uni student, with money problems, and my girlfriend understands this. My girlfriend works too. The difference is her parents won't let her spend her own money... everything she does and spends and buys comes out of their pocket. We spend a lot when we go out... On her birthday, I felt I went WAY overboard... On my birthday, she spent at least half again of what I spent on her, and she says she wasn't able to do all she would have liked to for me because she had no time. She says to wait until Christmas Sometimes it's just overwhelming though... like their house and their cars and even the clothes she wears are far above my standards, and what I can afford. I even feel like I don't want to wear the majority of my clothes around her, simply because I feel they're not good enough. Often I feel I just can't live up to those standards... She says she loves me for me, and it doesn't matter, because she knows I have it harder than her financially... but it's just not like that if I am to retain any amount of my dignity. She does all these awesome things for my birthday, and her parents do too much for me... I just feel like a leech sometimes because I can't do as much for her as she does for me. It's tearing me apart... I really love her, but part of me says I am not good enough for her, and that I just don't/won't/can't live up to the standards of her family, and their lifestyle. How can I deal with this?

Hmmm, it seems like you were really attached to this girl It's true, moving on can be very hard sometimes... Depression really is hard to beat. Don't end your life or do anything stupid though, it's not worth it. You'll come out of this. You've been through many other tough things in your life, and you've come through. You can get through this too! Try taking a look at everything you've accomplished, and where you're headed. Get into the habit of thinking positively about things. Look at what is good in a situation instead of whats bad. Try looking at some long term life goals, and do your best to move forward and make them a reality. Basically what you have said is right, getting out and about is a good thing... as being home and alone leaves your mind to go over the hurt. Also, you're not ready to move on, so fooling around with other girls at this time is bad (as you seem to have found out). Don't think so much about being with someone... though it is nice, it's not mandatory. It's your life, and it's all about you. That special someone will probably come along when you least expect it. I don't really know what else to say... I hope I have helped a little! Good luck!

I agree with lillady actually... Though, I find if I don't masterbate at all (rather than rarely), then I am less likely to have an erection O_o Then, after a dry period, I do... and I can get them very easily. *shrugs* Each to his own

Hmm... actually, I too would like some help with this subject. I have been going out with a girl for 4 months... and we still haven't really kissed. (that sounds SO pathetic... We are both eachother's first... and we just can't seem to do it. Neither of us really know what to do... and when we get close, I think about it, which makes me self-conscious, and I can't do it. My girlfriend says the exact same thing happens with her... Even though we've been going out for 4 months, she doesn't mind (thank god!) because she is in the same boat. We love hugging, but kissing seems to be quite a mental challenge for us both. Btw, movies are NO help lol If you haven't done so sparrow, read some of the tips on this site. They haven't helped me, but maybe they'll help you! Good luck! Please PM me and let me know how things go for you

Yeah, the girls have pretty much said things nicely Ditch this guy asap... it's not worth it. I don't know what is wrong with guys these days... they really need to learn some values, and think with their heads, not their hormones What he did wasn't just lame, it was sick. You have to learn to love and respect that one special person in your life. This guy hasn't learnt that. But don't worry, there ARE nice great caring guys out there... and you will find one We're not all bad Take care!

Hmmm, I am with gogol on this one... People shouldn't rush into such matters. There are many years to live and experience such things. I think enjoying romance and being in love is far more important than rushing into things... That's just my opinion anyway. I think the guys above have given you enough information to help you out though (Edit: I don't know your age or how long you have been with this girl or anything... so I guess it was a bit rude of me to assume that you're "rushing"... anyway, hope you both enjoy it

Basically everyone has covered most things You will also start to get erections, sometimes in embarrassing situations... for example, a bumpy car ride could be enough. Also, you might experience some wet dreams. Just telling it like it is Seriously though, it's nothing to worry about or be embarrassed about. Everyone goes through puberty. I hope we've managed to answer your question

Hmm, yeah... I really don't think professional help is needed though. I really don't dislike myself hardly at all, lol... it's just when I get into this loop I can't think about anything else, and continue being depressed. I think I need to find a really good way to just take my mind off things... and absorb me in something else for a while. It's usually what gets me out of it, and cheers me up. I can't program anything or study though, because I don't concentrate enough... So far, I think I have found a good outlet in videogames... (I can't believe I didn't think of it before, lol)... they allow me to completely ignore my feelings and just get absorbed in a game for a while. Once I stop playing, I am out of that loop, and everything is okay again. Well, from now on I am going to be much more careful though... I have been letting it get a bit out of hand lately. This experience with my girlfriend made me feel really horrible, and I fear I came close to losing her. I am going to be far more careful from now on... But yeah, if anyone has any additional tips or thoughts on this they'd be much appreciated

Hey everyone Long time no post Well... basically, me and my girlfriend love eachother very much... we've been going out for a bit over 3 months now. Occasionally, I feel down/depressed/blue... as everyone does. In my case this causes me to feel that I am not good enough for my girlfriend (as I think the world of her)... and it makes me feel that she deserves better. But I really have no reason to think this, as she thinks the world of me too... I feel that she is going to leave me unless I cheer up, because no one likes to see people down all the time. Feeling that she is going to leave me because I am down, just makes me more down... ... and it just sort of feeds on itself in a vicious loop, and becomes very hard to get out of it. Recently I made her very sad because I was so depressed, and it ended in tears. Things are okay again, but I still feel awful for putting her through that, and have to make it up to her... My question is, has anyone ever had a similar problem? I need some advice on how to beat this... because it's really nasty. If anything breaks us apart then it'll be this. She also goes through a similar thing every now and then... so if I know how to beat it with me, then I'll be able to help her out of it too The big doozy here is that it seems to only happen when we're apart. We can't see eachother all that much due to living fairly far apart, and both having very busy lives. To make up for it, we chat a lot on MSN... I think this wouldn't happen if we saw eachother more, because we are both always very happy when we're together, and seeing her always cheers me up. So yeah, basically once that self-doubt/depression loop starts, it's really hard to break out of, because I can think about nothing else. Anyone have any tips?

Hmm, yeah... that's true... and the first time will be hard, no matter how I look at it. I guess it's better that we do it earlier too, as if we wait, it will be more important, and hence more pressure. Thanks for the good advice bimmer. I am still stuck on the birthday present though... chances are I won't be able to see her on her birthday, as she'll be with her family (and they don't know about me)... so taking her out can't really work. I was thinking of getting her the latest Sonic game for PS2... but then, I have read bad things about the PS2 version, and it'll set me back a fair bit (need to be careful moneywise cause of uni)... also, I don't think she'd be able to play it much (she is so very busy, as am I)... and if she did, I am sure her parents would immediately know, and wonder where it came from... So I need to give her something that shows I care, and that can't be too open. Dammit... >___ ... maybe I'll bug my female friends for ideas, lol.

Hmm, thanks guys Yeah... I guess I am not really afraid to kiss her (not like with some girls)... but I am just inexperienced... As for the birthday present, well, I am sure I'll figure out something... it's still a while away, so I've got a bit of time. She didn't really dump the info on me like that either... I have known her for a while before we started going out, and I knew very well that her birthday is coming up. Anyways, it's all food for thought... thanks again

Well, I've only been going out with this girl for a little while now... a few weeks at best (only been out a couple of times though, cause we're both very busy), but we have heaps of fun together, and I really like her. Anyway, her birthday is coming up in a little over a month... and I was wondering what I should do for it. I don't want to do anything too big, since we won't have been going out that long... but then, I don't want to do anything too small though, either Also, we are both pretty shy... like, there are few times when we run out of things to talk about together, but we're both still trying to break through the shyness barrier when it comes to physical contact. We can hold hands (piece of cake... lovely cake, at that ) and I really would like to kiss her, but it's difficult. I don't really know how, and neither does she, hehe... and even though I've read about "how" from this site... it doesn't really help in the actual situation, you know. Also, kissing her might be made harder because she is pretty short, and I am pretty tall... Any tips, suggestions, or advice on these two dilemmas of mine would be really appreciated. As usual, thanks a bunch everyone P.S. She really loves Sonic The Hedgehog, and chocolate if that's any help; and she's only turning 16, so I don't want to give her anything too serious. I am sure there will be some nice easter chocolates around, perhaps I could get some heart-shaped ones or something... but then, she generally receives a lot of chocolate for her birthday (due to the timing)... Hmmm...

You are not alone! Liking a 15 year old is not weird at all... I am also 18, and have recently got into a relationship with a 15 year old... she is turning 16 soon, but only a few months on I'll be 19, sooo... it's nothing to worry about. As you both get older, the age gap becomes less important... for example, no one would care about a 21 year old going out with an 18 year old... or a 23 year old and a 20 year old. Age is merely a number! I can understand her worrying a little that you might be going slightly too fast... I don't think what you did was a bad thing at all. You let her know how you felt, and she understood. I can also see your concern over what you said too, wondering whether you did a bad thing... but it sounds as though you're in the clear. I know you feel strongly for her, and you want the relationship to last forever (don't we all?) but I think telling her this would be bad. I think just go with the flow, and be companions for now, and she'll let you know when she's ready to progress further. Letting her know that you are just after companionship could be good, but personally I think you should just leave things as is, forget about it, and just take things slower... because the more you make an issue out of it, the more of an issue it will become. Also, that stuff about "not knowing what love is" etc, is exactly like you said... just bilge That's my advice at least. I hope things work out for you; good luck!

That's good to hear! Congrats I hope things work out for ya

That's very helpful Beec, thanks a lot! I know a decent italian place in town... we could maybe see a movie at the Imax complex or something, and then head on over there... It's a little pricy though, and not very casual... hmmm... There are heaps of places in town (not that I know many really I am not too worried about talking to her... conversation comes pretty easily between us ... but perhaps I should be... dates are quite different I guess. If I am relaxed (hopefully; should be, with her) then conversation will be no problem. Perhaps I'll bug a friend for some first date ideas. Thanks again for your advice... it's very good!

Well... for anyone that read my post a few days ago, I am really growing fond of this girl, and I asked her out. She really likes me too... She is 15 (turning 16 soon)... and I am 18... the gap kind of sucks, but we have some amazing common interests, and really seem to click. The great thing about her, is I can be myself so easily around her. I considered waiting for a year and a couple of months, till she's like 17, but I didn't want to let her get away... Anyway, we are both pretty shy and new to the whole dating thing. I need some ideas and advice for the first date... I need something that is reasonably casual, and that where we can get some nice time to talk... I was thinking, maybe a movie or something with some food afterwards... but then, I need a reasonably quiet place if things are going to happen... maybe a kiss after I escort her home...? =) What would be the best time of day? It'll most likely take place on a sunday... as I am at uni throughout the week, as she is at school, and we're both very busy... we both work friday nights and saturdays (day and night)... One thing that can't be overlooked is that I can't drive... I really wish I could now, and I am working on it... neither does she of course... any easy way around this? I am sure this topic has come up heaps before too... but I am quite the newby, and don't want to mess this up (like last time; my first date ever)... I have searched a lot through the resources and forums on this site, with some great help, but still not overly practical to my situation. Any advice, ideas, tips, info etc would be much appreciated. Thanks a bunch everyone =)

Hmm, yeah... maybe... the only mutual friends we have are those at work though, and well, it'd be a little weird... I don't know... after seeing her tonight, I don't know how I feel really. I like her, a lot, but not enough to take that next step really... So, I'll leave it for a while, and see how things pan out over time. Thanks for the advice =)

Yeah, that's also one of my concerns... I go out to bars and clubs and stuff now occasionally... but it's not really all that great. But it'll probably ramp up quite a bit over the next year though... Hmm... perhaps I'll just wait it out, and see how things go... Time will tell I guess. Thanks jony.

I have only been out with a girl once, and the reason I did, was because I had totally fallen for her… she broke my heart after one date anyway… over time, I have realized she was not really the girl I thought she was, but I am glad it happened, because it has taught me a LOT. Now I am starting to like this new girl at our work… hehe. This is where I need the help. There is a fair bit of attraction between us… I am pretty close to asking her out; I know she really likes me, and I really like her… physically, her sense of humour, we have a lot in common, we both enjoy each other's company; we connect. Like, for example, we talked on MSN the other day for EIGHT hours straight! With no dry patches or anything… it was quite wonderful. … But: It's not like that last relationship I had... like, I totally knew I would ask the girl out, because I was absolutely head over heels for her. This new girl, well, I really like her, but it's not the same level of infatuation, you know. Which I can also see as being a good thing though, because it means I don't get nervous or shy with her at all (which contributed greatly to the failure of my last relationship I can just be myself so easily. What I am wondering is, if I go out with her, are things likely to grow between us? Like… I will probably grow to love her more the more we are together right? Because, I am just sort of wondering "Hmm, I really like her, but could she really be right for me, or would it be better to stay as just friends?" Especially since, the girl I went out with before, even though she said she'd like to be friends, she is pretty cold to me now, and would rather not talk to me. Not much of a friend IMO… and I don't want that to happen with this new girl, because I really enjoy having her around. Also… there is a 3 year age gap between us which concerns me a fair bit (I am 18, she is 15)… which, in the long run, isn't much… but at this age, it seems like a lot sometimes. I am about to start University, and she still has 2 years of school left (including this year). I am also wishing I had my driver's license right now; it'd make going out with someone a lot easier. Perhaps I should wait a while… maybe until I get into the swing of Uni at least. I am having a few doubts of my attraction for her at the moment, but I will see her tonight at work, and that will just enforce how much I like her… (as does each time I see her). Any thoughts or advice? Thanks everyone =)