Jeffrey2095

It sounds like you are getting so many mixed signals that it is difficult to make any sense of it. Those other two guys don't sound like they are in your camp. Are they jealous spurned or hopeful candidates for her heart? If I were you, I would ask her about their status and your own status with her. This confusion sounds like it is doing a number on you. I have been in several bands, and musicians can have the most unstable personalities. You need to communicate with her, and maybe have her explain things to them. They probably won't listen to you. Good luck.

Three years? Naw, there's no real "generation gap" there. As time goes by the gap will shrink to insignificance. (And doesn't sound like much now.) I once dated a woman who was ten years older than me. Some guys appreciate a woman who is a little more mature. Concentrate on your personalities, because "age" can be a relative thing. I've known 30 and 40 year olds who I thought should "grow up".

Wow, what a character. You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your relatives. She sounds like a very self-centered person. She will ignore common courtesy, but when something strikes her as wrong or unjust, she is most incensed about it. I have come accross all too many of these kind of people. Personally, I would tell her what you see in her point blank; although, these people are usually the last one who will realize the way they are. Hopefully, it won't wreck your relationship with your cousin. (Actually, you may tell this woman something that your cousin only wishes he could say, so you might be doing him a favor.) What about your cousin, what does he say about her? I would tell her the truth, (after all, you are not the only one who feels this way about her). Unless she made some profound changes, I would write this person off. It doesn't sound like there would be any love lost. Good Luck

It sounds as though your depression is somewhat manic with your mood swings. I am a little like that myself. Some of my friends, (I can count them on one hand) don't feel that depression is a real disease, but you can see how it can effect every aspect of your life. It is good that you have a mate who is supportive and up-beat. Why do you think that is? He must see something very nice in you inspite of the problems you are having, (and I mean this respectfully, maybe making for yourself to an extent.) What kind of job do you see yourself succeeding at? It seems that it is a big part of your anxiety, and "career" can be a huge factor in the way a person sees themselves. Maybe you are like me, and might prefer a career at home where you can set your own pace, and work when you feel you are at your best. Try looking on the internet. Almost 30% of the work force in America work from home, a statistic that really surprised me. One thing though, avoid companies that want to charge you a fee for finding home-based work. In fact... if they ask for money, they are probably crooks. Anti-depressants are a funny animal and your doctor should work first to find an effective one. (70% of people on them feel they don't work, so you are not alone there.) Or here at ENA Good luck

Hello again Baby Carrot, "Kid Rock?" Maybe it's the hat. Thank you for the comment. We don't have a female singer. I would be open to the idea, but I think my drummer is a little too Chauvanistic. We have a singer and a bass player lined up, but I haven't heard from my drummer for 4 months. I am sooo tired of waiting for him, I'm ready to get an electronic drum-set and just record everything myself. Of course, he doesn't like that idea one bit. Tough toenails right? :splat:

Hello jessicake, When I was a little younger I had the same thoughts for a lot of reasons. You know, life has not improved a great deal, and most of my dreams and aspirations have not come to fruition. I think that such thoughts are almost a natural part of self exploration, and are actually common , although a lot of people don't have the candor to admit it. (Just those with guts and heart.) I am not a psychologist, but I can at least say that I care, even though I don't know you, (and you don't know me.) Everyone has value. At least give yourself a fair shot at working it out. Wouldn't you feel bad if you didn't give yourself enough of a chance to communicate and maybe work this out? Get with some of the others who express the same feelings, I bet you (us) all can find some really good reasons to want to live. One of the best ways is to help (and relate) to others. Just expressing your feelings in this forum must help some. (I know it helps me, alot.) Anytime you want to talk or blow off some steam, I'll (we'll) be here for you. Write anytime. [/email]

At 23 you may have a great desire to feel very different than high school. I guess I was kind of in a hurry to feel grown up in my twenties. I see people buying beer get offended when they get carded. "Hey man, I'm 22!" And, I did the same, although I didn't drink at all 'til 27. I didn't say exactly the same, but essentially, I am the same person. I still play guitar, I still work, I still smoke. Maybe I never grew up. "goo, goo". Also... "Baby Carrot"... that is the coolest name I've seen here. I'm thinking about using that for a band name. Uh, with your permission of course, and (If my drummer ever gets his stuff together.) We'll give you full credit though, and a small royalty. Stay cool

Hey guy, Have you ever heard of St. John's wort? (Uh, like a bladder wort plant, not the wart on your third grade teacher's nose.) It is an herbal supplement that has worked to a degree for me. (I would guesstimate that it takes about 50% of the "blues" away. (Almost as good as the other "herbal" uh, supplement you mentioned.) As far as that, (weed) have you seen that stuff they have for the urine test? It costs about $30, but it really works. Another idea... (and please don't gak) but have you ever considered joining the military? Now, I wouldn't go into the Army for anything, but there is the Navy, and also the Coast Guard. I myself enlisted in the Air Force in '80' during the Iranian hostage crisis, and I had probably the best time of my life, no kidding. The food is great! (No slop on a tray like Gomer Pyle. Real food on plates.) No "KP" either. Oh, I did it once in boot camp, after that, it was omeletes and bacon cheese burgers to eat. They finally figured that out in the 60s, Stop wasting time and efficiancy having troops pull KP. Also, you will be too busy to be depressed. Boot camp is mostly just a matter of being another John Doe, and slipping by before they get wise to you. It is not like the boot camp where they put troubled youth. You might have a guy scream at you on the first day, (for a minute or two, try not to laugh.) after that, you are too busy filling out paper work and such. You can maybe try out for the "band" (usually jazz). I almost made it, and I don't think I was as good as you! My job was "Flight simulator Technician", (fix the flight simulator.) The military might solve a lot of problems for you. If you want to know more, I'll be happy to tell you of my experiences, and give you some pointers to help you sail through boot camp. (30 days of boot camp.) Also, if it don't work out. They will just tear up your enlistment and send you back home, as though it never happened, irregardless of what they might say, or threaten you with. (I have seen it done.) They know that the military is not everyone's cup of tea, and they really don't want someone who doesn't want to be there. So don't worry, you really have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Well, I hope my suggestions are a help in that they give you some new ideas. Also, I wish I had as much skill as you on guitar when I was 19. (Even today, eek.) Also, I think Zombiain looks like Slash, from "Guns and Roses" The way to true happiness is in making others happy.

Hello crazy300, I can really relate to your situation. I must say that this forum has been a great help, and slowly I feel that I have at least a few friends here. I guess the worst of it is that I am apprehensive about finding new friends (offline) because I have been so used by others. When your old friends get married, or they feel that too much water has passed under the bridge it can be most disheartening. All I can suggest is to use this forum to at least have a place to vent, it really helps me anyway. You can write me anytime.

I think that sex is a normal thing to be on anyone's mind, (Uh, especially at age 18, so I don't think you should feel so guilty.) The important thing is that you have developed what sounds like real love and appreciation for her. (And respect for her mother.) If this is the result of the mother finding a condom, then maybe it was all for the best. I think you are working it out, think of the abstinance or reduced sex as a worthy sacrifice. Best wishes to you both. (And Mom, and the Aunt.)

It sounds like a sticky sitch, but band "chemistry" is tough anyway. I would go ahead and try to enter the band and put the relationship to one side and try and be a "trooper". What do you have to lose, the relationship is over right? Hopefully you guys can still make beautiful music. Oh, and good luck!

In my own experience, I have met people who I would consider pushy or controlling. I believe that this is a manifestation of low self esteem. The controlling personality does this because at one time in their life, someone was controlling to them, (And now it's their turn, see.) or more commonly because a parent continuously put them down. "Can't you do anything right? Why can't you be like your sister... So, they compensate for this by telling someone else "what to do". It elevates their self-esteem, unfortunately, by putting you in a subordinate position. This is tough, and I really don't have any great "advice", but I thought it might help to suggest what might possibly be "going on" here. I have had some luck in telling the person just what I told you, often they don't realize how they are, much less why. Best wishes to you both.

You know, a lot of people say things about both the Jehovah's Witness and the Mormon denominations... but I must say that I admire their diligence. They do not salute the flag because they feel that it puts country over God. Also, they do not celebrate many of the holidays like the Fourth of July, Valentines day, Halloween, etc. They expect members of their congregation to tithe, (contribute 10% of their wages to the church), but in return they will go out of their way to help a member who is having hard times. The main critisism seems to be that they are controlling, or even brainwashing. I think they just make an impassioned case for their beliefs. Also, I have met ex-members of both, (especially the Mormons) who are very critical of their former denominations, and it seems that it is hard on couples when only one is a member. I would say, follow your heart. If it looks good to you, try it for a awhile. Make up your own mind because people will say rotten things about them. (I have also seen them (JWs and Mormons) get very upset when I decline their membership.) I am non-denominational. So, you might try that, (declining) and see how they react. Good luck, and God bless. The way to true happiness... is in making others happy.

Hello Baby Carrot, They say that 30 is the new 20, and 40 is the new 30, so I guess I should feel about 35. (Actually, I really don't feel much different than I did in high school.) I don't think there is any more fear attached to being a little older, in fact... the freedom can be exhilarating. Wait and see.

Rocky by Jeffrey2095 I was strolling through our town the other day, when to my great astonishment, I was addressed by a talking stone. "Why, you're a talking stone!" I marveled. He scrunched up his face. "Call me "Rocky", or "Mr. Rock". Nobody ever stops to think that a rock is entitled to a little dignity!" "Hmm, I guess even a rock is due a little respect... we want to be fair. Say Mr. Rock, I saw a program on television the other day, that pointed out, that all the heavy elements here on Earth, were created in the middle of stars. In fact, it said that you and I are composed of many of the same ingredients." "Just add water, ha ha." "Very funny. So, what do you do with yourself Rocky, got any hobbies?" "No, I just sit on this rock pile, watching the seasons slowly turn." "Well, how long have you been doing this?" "Oh, about 4.5 billion years; it's very depressing. All I have now, is a view of that tree stump. Why, 7000 years ago I had a view of a nice pond. Then, I accidentally fell down the hill and have been stuck here ever since." "Yes, I guess things would tend to get a bit "samey"." "Well, you don't see any remote control to change the picture with, do you! Still, I don't complain much." "Well, cheer up Rocky; why, you have no idea of the things we humans must endure. You don't have to worry about death, or taxes, or disease, or crime, or hunger, or poverty... in some ways, you have it made my friend!" "You mean you wanna' trade places with me?" What is the meaning of life? Why did God make us? Well, maybe because it was simply worth doing. After all, who wants a universe full of rocks alone? Wouldn't things tend to get a bit "samey"? Peace be with you! If you like this, please share it with a friend. Thank you!

Rocky by Jeffrey2095 I was strolling through our town the other day, when to my great astonishment, I was addressed by a talking stone. "Why, you're a talking stone!" I marveled. He scrunched up his face. "Call me "Rocky", or "Mr. Rock". Nobody ever stops to think that a rock is entitled to a little dignity!" "Hmm, I guess even a rock is due a little respect... we want to be fair. Say Mr. Rock, I saw a program on television the other day, that pointed out that all the heavy elements here on Earth, were created in the middle of stars. In fact, it said that you and I are composed of many of the same ingredients." "Just add water, ha ha." "Very funny. So, what do you do with yourself Rocky, got any hobbies?" "No, I just sit on this rock pile, watching the seasons slowly turn." "Well, how long have you been doing this?" "Oh, about 4.5 billion years; it's very depressing. All I have now, is a view of that tree stump. Why, 7000 years ago I had a view of a nice pond. Then, I accidentally fell down the hill and have been stuck here ever since." "Yes, I guess things would tend to get a bit "samey"." "Well, you don't see any remote control to change the picture with, do you! Still, I don't complain much." "Well, cheer up Rocky; why, you have no idea of the things we humans must endure. You don't have to worry about death, or taxes, or disease, or crime, or hunger, or poverty... in some ways, you have it made my friend!" "You mean you wanna' trade places with me?" What is the meaning of life? Why did God make us? Well, maybe because it was simply worth doing. After all, who wants a universe full of rocks alone? Wouldn't things tend to get a bit "samey"? Peace be with you! If you like this, please share it with a friend. Thank you!

I also notice, that if you smile, and seem happy, (around some people) then you must be either crazy or drunk, (or both). I guess it is sorry indeed when a positive outward expression can be taken in such a way. I made a posting where I said that I watch the news, but then I put on the old movies, (TCM) to escape to a better world, and it seemed to blow up in my face. "What was so great about the old days..." "people were so uptight then..." Well, we'll keep on irregardless right?](*,) Thank you.

Hey man, I listened to "prov city". It was very nice. Very soothing. It kind of sounded like someone speaking, in the way that it had a lot of expression. I play all kinds of music also. (Mostly hard rock/ grunge, etc. I haven't really played much jazz since high school, I miss it. A few years ago, I decided to buckle down and learn to play and sing at the same time. I got so sick of waiting for others to get it together, I decided to just do it all myself. One thing that is especially a downer for an artist of any medium is apathy toward their work. I might build what I think is an awesome website, or write a book that I think is just hilarious, and all I get from some of my friends is "cool dude". (Even the artistic ones.) Hang in there guy, and try and gain some strength through music; remember all the really great artists struggled for recognition, and many never attained much more than heartache, but we gotta keep going. I'll set up some links to your page.

Hey man, Life has been this way for many artistic people, just look at history. Some of the very brightest, felt they were misfits... and rightly so... Would you be happy being a "run of the mill", "conventional" person whos ambitions terminate with their 1.6 children and their Lexus? Damn, I hope not. Like you, I play guitar and write music, and it has never been easy for us. (Tough biz, right?) After 32 years of playing, I can't seem to get with a band. Just bad luck and bad serendipity. Hang in there dude, you have made it this far! Turn your anguish into some deep, solid music. Hey, the world could use it. What kind of stuff do you play? "There's no use in quitting, when the world is waiting for you..." (Supertramp, "Gone Hollywood") email removed e-mail any time

Hello CutiePie6, Well, I have tried a few, and I think that the hardest thing is that your soulmate might reside in Guam, or The Antarctic. Is there a money back guarantee if you are not satisfied with what they come up with? I guess the thing to do is research which is top rated. Yahoo, had plenty of local contacts, but I never got a response to my inqueries. (Maybe it's just me, eek)

I think that it is in part because of sheer laziness. It takes too much effort to say "Thanks". Also, when someone is satisfied with their relationship or life in general it's like, "well I'm happy, get yours sucker". I think that the times have bred a "ME generation" (that is not necessarily related to age). Thanks everyone

Thanksgiving, Christmas and now New Years, I'm in the same boat. Part of my situation is because I have no family, part because I have been so screwed over by people and used up, that I am afraid to even try and meet new people. I wish I had some good solutions for you man, but I wanted you to know that Air Force gets lonesome too. Fortunately, I have a lot of hobbies. Lonesome Jeff

Does anyone have any new ideas to help me stop ruminating? I heard there is a pill coming out that can help a person forget unhappy memories, anyone heard of it? Or, maybe you have had a similar experience with someone. Thanks everyone Lonesome Jeff "Loneliness is a power that we possess to give or take away, forever..." (Lyrics to "Starship Trooper" by Yes.)

I can very much relate to what you are saying. For 45 years I have had much the same. Say I am standing in a circle of people, maybe people I know or strangers I am trying to meet, and some inconsiderate (person) decides to manuever right in front of me, giving me the opportunity to make conversation through the back of their head! Or, there is conversation, and I must repeatedly try to wedge my point in until I just give up rather than look even more ridiculous. I am a musician, and everyone says I do very well at the open mics. Yet, there I sit, alone at my own table. Maybe there is nowhere else to sit, so a few people sit down at my table by default, then they proceed to yak and have a great time as though I weren't there. Are we oversensitive, or thin skinned? Or... are we just unlucky, and surrounded by inconsiderates? I don't have any great strategy to combat this, I just thought you might like to know that someone else can relate HurleyBabe6917. Lonesome Jeff

Oh yes, there is self publishing, and I have canvased a few of them. It costs from $800 (softcover)- $1200 (hard) on up. You have to be very careful though, and make sure that you retain all of the "subsidiary" rights. (Book, film, etc.) Some of them will try and retain them themselves by chicanery and kind of sweep the subject under the rug, like it's no big deal. You have to ask yourself if this is maybe your one and only book, or can you afford to offer one up for free as a sacrifice for the exposure. So, I am building a website to share some of my work with the world for free. (Also, it is a nice showcase for agents) I would rather have my work read and appreciated in poverty, than to climb the greasy pole of the literary "biz", and hold my stories forever in a musty trunk somewhere: trunk-stories. So giving them away at first is my secret weapon to beat the literary "system". As for the girl, I think that it was her way of giving me the "brush", and maybe gain a little sympathy from me, (which she has). But, she might have stopped for a minute and considered my feelings too. Thanks again Shelly.