lunatic

I would wait but, not too long. Give her sometime and see what happens. The only thing I have to say is you will get tired of waiting and then you will know to either move on or talk to her about it. Good luck. Hubman

Waynerwayner, Dude I am in the same position as you. I have a hard time talking to someone that I am not totally comfortable with. I suggest from one shy guy to another is to talk to her about it. You actually might break out of your shell if you talk to her about it. I did this also with the woman I am seeing and I explained that it was not her it is me. I also told her to let me know if she thinks that I am acting uptight. She then told me that she is also in the same boat but, she is able to go with the flow. I have not yet hit that point and I explained that to her. I was kinda of surprised that she was very cool about it. I hope that maybe you too would be able to explain yourself and let her know that you are still getting to know her and all and that she should be a little patient with you. I hope this helps. Hubman

Hi there Bonafide, I kinda of agree with Nat000 but there is one thing that she slipped up on. You cannot ever change someone and you should never think you can. Only he can change himself and it is a long and drawn out process where he has to want to change. Remember that if you are not happy get out. I would sit down and talk to him if he cannot understand what you are saying then you have to get out. Trust a guy on this one... You will NEVER change this guy and that is the mistake that some women make when they are in a relationship. If you don't like the way he treats you then get out!!!!!! I am sure that he is not all bad and that is why you are still with him. I would try to explain to him that he hurts you when he puts you down and yells at you. If he cannot grasp that simple concept then leave him. I hope it works out for you. -Hubman

No NO NO NO NO... Don't do anything that you are not comfortable doing. Ignore this S.O.B. because he is not worth your time. You already have enough for your closure by your posts. No contact, no letters, and don't do anything. If you respond, he might get the wrong ideas that you are still hurting or have feelings for him. I would just leave this right where it is and forget about him. Please don't talk to this nut because you will regret it big time. I was stalked once by an ex and I can tell you that it is not fun. I know exactly where you are coming from! Don't do it... Oh by the way I am a guy and that is rare that a woman would stalk a guy(my luck).. Forget him and get back to your current life. If you need any advice with this one please PM me. -Hubman

Hi there, You really didn't give us any information to form an opinion on. Are you fresh out of a relationship or still in one that he/she is cheating? Give a little more information and I am sure you will get better responses. If you can't bring yourself to put it out there in public then PM me. I can give great advice but, I never seem to be able to listen to my own. Good luck! Hubman

All I have to say is that what she is doing to you is not right. It is not fair to you or this other guy that she is playing you two. I think she is a confused little girl and you are doing the right thing and move on. You have to let go and break all contact with her if you are ever going to get over her. I know you want her as a friend and that you are hoping that things will turn out in your favor. It sounds like she lied to you about this other guy and she is keeping you around as a backup because she is very insecure about herself and the new guy. You DESERVE to be treated better than this. It hurts I know but, you have to let her go. I would tell her that your feelings for her are strong and you need to have some space to sort out your feelings. Also tell her that you love(that is if you do) and that maybe someday you might be together again but, as long as this other guy is in the picture you don't think it is a good idea. Dude, get a backbone and stop letting her treat you like a doormat. Stand up for yourself and be strong because she might actually respect you for it. Stand strong and keep your ground. Oh by the way, even if this guy was gone I would lose this one. If you don't break now and you get back together then you will have to deal with this in the future. Believe me that will hurt ten times worse because she will cheat on you again. I can tell you from my experiences that this is the truth. I am sure she loves you but, why is she with someone else even before you broke up? She is selfish and manipulative and you don't need that. My advise is to get out NOW while you still have a chance!!! Good luck, Hubman

I like it also. I don't care what anyone else thinks about me. I do what makes me happy. I do have to say that I like the contact and it has to be right with me before I can do it. Confusing I know but, it has to feel right to me.

To be honest I have to side with your ex on this one. Playboy is not a big deal as it is an upscale magazine. I think you made way too big of a deal with the magazine. I think you were right about the calanders but, the playboy mags you probally pushed too hard. I think you pushed him away because no one wants to be told what to do and what not to do. You should have picked your fights more wisely. I would place this up to a learning situation and remember this in the future. I can only say that you should not be with someone if there is something that bothers you that much like the Playboys did. Maybe he was not the right one for you and you should move on. Every one has something that they like that maybe not acceptable to someone else. I don't think this guy has a porn addiction because there would be a lot more stuff that would be around. Sorry that it did not work out. -Hubman

I always like Rene DesCartes when he said the following: There is only one thing in life that I can fully know...I think thereforeeee I am. What he means by this is that there is nothing set in life and that the only thing that he can prove is true is that he can think. Well that is my thought for the day. -Hubman

I would like to agree with alicat216 but, I cannot from my experiences it does not happen. Sorry. Cry your heart out because that is the road to making yourself whole again. Let this guy go because he sounds like a jerk because he needs time to build a career. I built my career because I wanted to move my relationship on to a higher plain but, that is another story. tmakinen is kind of right except for his wording which seems very cold. I think he is right about you being the most important thing in the world right now. I would loose all contact with this guy for a while and work on yourself. Let the healing process go on. Remember, a women has an easier time meeting guys than guys meeting women. You already have something over him by being a woman. Listen you deserve better than this guy! Never Ever Settle or wait for someone. He is playing a game and is probally interested in someone else and he is holding onto you just in case it doesn't work. I am a guy and I know how they think! Trust me loose this one and do something for you and forget him. I am sorry about being so harsh but, you deserve better than this jerk. It sounds like you are a really nice woman and you will find someone that will appreciate you for you. Take care and good luck in what ever you decide to do. -Hubman

If you think you need help then there is nothing to be ashamed of. You realize there is a problem that needs to be addressed. If you family can't understand that there is a problem then they need help also. I agree with Charmed and give a vague discription of the problem and that should be good enough. If there is someone that you trust totally in the family then I would talk to them. I had a severe case of depression myself and I can say that I tried the normal route by seeing a doctor and trying the prescrition anti-depressants. I did not like the way they made me feel as well as the sexual side effects. I went another route by taking St. John's Wort and that is working very good for me. I would go see someone first before you try the herbal stuff first. Go see you primary care doctor and tell him/her what the problem is. I would say go talk to someone but, that could take years before you feel better. The choices are up to you on how to deal with this. The first step has been taken by you because you realize there is something not right. I hope this helps and good luck with the next step. Remember that the first step is the hardest.. If you need more information about what I went through then feel free to PM me. -Hubman

kodiakxt, Everyone goes through what you are at least once in life. I would sit down and think out the good points and bad points of the relationship. Then think about how jealous and argumentive you were together. Use the lessons learned from this relationship to grow as a person so you wont do it in the future. There really is no chance for you if she is not willing to give you a second chance. I would show her how strong you can be and move on. I know you are hurting and I can totally understand your pain. I was there once myself and I know exactly what you are going through. You need time apart and need time to learn who you are again. For you now is to be with friends and family and get through this. I will tell you that when I went through this was ten years ago and I was totally destroyed as a person. I was with her for a long time and I didn't date or anything for almost two years after it ended. I think that was the best thing I have ever done was taking time to heal. I changed as a person because I too was the jealous type and I would never lose an argument. I think you should use your experiences with your ex to help you grow as a person in a spiritual sense. I agree with routerx that you should set some goals for yourself and keep very busy. I find that being busy helps clear up my mind and keeps my mind off my ex. Oh by the way, the girl that broke my heart all those years ago is the same girl that broke my heart now after a ten year separation. She never changed and it took four years for me to find that out. I am sorry that I am blabing about me but, I think it has some similar issues with what you are going through. What I am saying is to let yourself grow from the lessons learned. It will hurt and you will be there for a long time. By letting her go and learning from this you will be the better person because you have grown from your experiences. Dude I know what you are going through and I am sorry but, you have to do this if you want a chance to be happy in the future. I don't want to see you go through what I went through and wasting your time with the wrong woman. Good luck and PM me if you want some more advise. -Hubman

try doing pushups on a daily basis. Also working out three times a week might help. I work Back/Biceps on Monday, Wednesday- legs/neck/sholders, and on Friday- Triceps/chest. Every day I work out on the treadmill and the cross country machines. You have to do some pushups to get rid of the man boobs. This is what helped me I hope this will help you.

Hey it sounds like it might be time to change your phone number. This guy sounds like my ex. She kept me thinking that we had a chance till I found out that there was another man involved. Change the number because it is not fair to you and you need your space to move on. I am sorry that he is being like this to you. He sounds like an immature jerk who needs a good swift kick in the butt. Don't take that crap from anyone because you deserve better! -Hubman

I agree that it is time to move on. You might want to consider your things as missing in action to never be seen again. Buck it up and move on because that is what a bigger person would do. Forget this woman and let go. It is time to get yourself back to the most important thing in your life again and that is YOU. Good luck, Hubman

Dude, I can feel your pain and that sucks. I think you should give yourself and her some time to process what you told her. Give her a week then maybe send an email or write a letter. I know it sounds korny but, this shows her that you are trying to give her space. Also if you press her too hard she may fall out of your life completely forever. Give her some time to sort through what you said. I would say you probally scared the crap out of her. Love stinks sometimes because you only wanted to say what you had to and make her feel good at the same time. Just hang in there for a while and she will come back to you. If she doesn't then move on and find yourself someone else. I know it hurts and you probally feel like a jerk right now. You learned a valuable lesson from this. If you think about it that way moving on becomes a lot easier. Good luck. Hubman P.S. Don't press her for any information because she will disappear from your life fast. Give her some time and all the answers you want will come to you. Also remember that you might not want to hear what she has to say because it might hurt you really badly on a personal level. It is your decision and you have to use your judgement to get through this.

Hey Destiny2009, I have one thing to say. Run and Run now. This guy is a creep and you deserve better. I can't imagine anyone treating anyone like the way he does. I can only say that just because he loves you is not a reason to say. You are having doubts now and I think that you should follow your emotions because a womans intuition is usually right. Be careful because you are already suspecting him. WATCH OUT. If I were you I would leave this relationship now and find someone who will treat you like you should be...a lady. There is a sole mate for everyone out there and you haven't found him yet. Good luck. -Hubman

Moore, I have been in the emotional position that you are in right now. I can say one thing is GET SOME HELP!!!! You have to get you ass to another doctor right away. Dude, No one is worth ending your life over and I learned that when I wanted to end my life. You have to talk to someone now. You are crying out for help but no one can help you here with the pain you are in right now. I know I am also in my own personal hell and I can sympatize with you. Please see another professional right away or let someone know how you feel. I cannot see the pain in your heart and no one can. You never stated why you feel this way. What happened to you that drove you to this point? I can only say you have to get some help and you had better do it now. I remember that when I was in your shoes I could not bring myself to do it. You have to remember that this in the only life you will ever live and to throw it away seems so silly. I look back at myself now and I am embarresed at how I felt and I can't believe that I let someone hurt me so badly. Hey if you need to talk dude please feel free to write me anytime. Please get some help!!! Everyone has been to this point atleast once in their life. Please seek some help from someone that you care about because you taking you life is the cowards way out. Face the pain and get some help. Don't do anything stupid man it is not worth it!!!! I am not a doctor or anything like that, but you need to see another professional because the one you have seen is not effective enough. -Hubman

DON'T DO IT. Screw him. You don't need to be treated like a piece of meat. You deserve better than that and you should tell him to go to hell. I think that is a very selfish and immature thing to ask someone. Why buy the cow when the milk is free. You have to make it harder on him because you are not his personal property. Listen, move on because you are a woman and it should be no problem finding another man. Women have an easier time finding others to go out with. Go make yourself happy and forget that selfish sob. -Hubman

Swtangel, Your poem touched deeply. Great Job!!!! -Hubman

If you think you are depressed you might want to talk to your doctor about how you feel. If it lasts more than two weeks then you probally are suffering from cronic depression. I also felt like this and when my last relationship ended this started to leave me. I am also taking St. John's Wort and HTP-5 for it. I have been feeling great the last week or so. I have been taking it for three weeks now. I went to my doctor and he prescribed Zoloft and that made me feel crappy. I then talked to him about taking Zoloft and HTP-5 and he told me to give it a shot. I will tell you this I am also working out at the local gym. I can tell you that getting rid of the fat I have stored up over the years is also helping. You have to find something to perk you up. I would talk to your doctor. I hope this helped because I have been like this for years. Don't let too much time go by before you do something about this problem. Take it from my experiences!!!! Good luck, Hubman01 P.S. If you want you can PM for more information.

BigRed, If my g/f told me that she was going to sleep with all her friends and my friends. I would run as fast as I can to the hills!!!!! You don't need to be with someone who is going to be running around on you. I know first hand experience that you will be hurt when she does stray. I would talk to her about it and tell her she hurt you with her comments that she made. If you get the feeling that she is lying to you then you are better off alone. My opinion is to flee and get out of the relationship. I am only making a suggestion based on my experiences so take it with a grain of salt. Good luck, Hubman

Digital Diva, Sounds like you would be better off without him. He sounds like a user to me and you don't need a friend like that. I can understand what he ment by saying go with the flow but, he has no right to tell you to stay home. I am a man and I can understand what he is thinking with his pen1s and not with his head. I think you can tell a lot about a person by the way he treats others. I would go see your other friend and totally blow off this person. You know that as a woman you have total control over who YOU want to be with. Thats it. No one can tell you anything else. If you don't want to be intimate with this person and he can't deal with it then dump all together. He has to understand that you have feelings too. You do what is right for you and to hell with his feelings on this one. I hope this helped. Hubman01

dbwiii, I am not going to judge you and repeat what everyone else is saying. I guess that in your position I would have probally thought about doing something like what you did. I would only think about it and not do it. Dude you need to talk to someone about the built up anger you have inside you right now. I mean there in no doubt in my mind that you are devistated by this whole thing and you lashed out. I can't totally blame you. I hope that in time you will come to terms with what happened and you will be a better person because of this. Please go talk to some friends and or a family member about what happened. I will tell you one thing, you are not at fault for the break up and you should hold your head up high. Just get on with your life. Everyone is telling you the truth when they say to you to stop everything you are doing to her. I hope you the best, Hubman01

Braidy Jones, I have been there and done that with the woman I was to marry. She was younger than me and I had to let her go because she needed her space. What I want to tell you is that you should start the process of moving on. Why should you wait around and let him have the upper hand like an ace in the hole. Trust me you are young and attractive. As an older man who is in his thirties I am telling you to move on. Pick up the pieces of your heart and soul and mend yourself. Take time to rediscover who YOU are and what you want from your life. Just move on because there are a lot of guys out there that will love you for you. There is no need to be anyone elses doormat or backup girl. You deserve better than this. I have been through this a few times in my life and one thing I have learned is that love can be a cruel feeling. You give your heart away and it is a very special thing, but it gives another person a hugh hold on you. Why should you wait around for this immature guy to figure out what he wants? You have to do what you need to so you can be happier in life. I personally think you should take this as a huge learning experince and move on. Someday you will find the guy and will know that this will be the real thing. You are too young to get involved with a guy and settle down. Do yourself a favor and go out with your friends and have a great time over the next few years. Date as many men as possible and see what is out there. Don't ever settle for anything less than what you think is right for you. If you want to talk about this feel free to IM or PM me anytime. I hope this helps you out because a broken heart is a pain in the Butt. No one can take the pain away except you and time. Good luck. Hubman01