kodiakxt

umm.... youve got to guide it in with ur hand dude, dont just hope she sits down on it properly because in most cases its just gonna bend and flop out. try guiding it with your hand and point the thing upwards while your laying on the bed so that she can sit down on top of it. hope that helps

everythings a stage hehe. your on the right track though, its hard to do, but forget about what all she may be doing during the day and especially at nighttime on the weekends. thinking of it only brings hurt. asking her about what she's doing may only bring more hurt, or may bring relief, but eventually shes going to do something that hurts you, and trust me, it will be crushing, so dont even bother asking her. when you talk to her, (if you still plan on keeping communication open, which i dont suggest for a good long time) then ask general questions, not specific. like "how was your weekend?" or "how was work today?". dont ask things like "so did you go clubbing last night?" or "did you dance with any guys?" or "are you seeing anyone yet?" o, and one last thing, what you feel today may be the total opposite of what you feel tomorrow. there were some days i was as happy as a lark in a tree singing, and the next day (sometimes the next hour) i was back in that pit of misery missing her like hell. your going to do the same thing also probably, just try to remember your plan of action and stick to it no matter how your feeling at a specific time. good luck man -matt (o, and i dont even really know your story, just what u posted in this thread, so all of this may not even apply, sorry if it doesnt)

really good man, great job

i agree with mar's opinion except on how to handle this. honestly, i would either right her a letter or call her on the phone and tell her that you love her with all your heart, that this isnt working out right now because she doesnt want to put the effort into it, and that your over with her for right now. break up with her, dont let her do it to do, because i can almost guarentee that its really close to happening. right now, shes going out, partying, and seeing all these other people that are single having a good time. she doesnt understand what she wants right now, but she does understand that she doesnt want to be with you right now and she wants to go out and live life. i know it hurts, but thats what is happening. what you need to do is to breakup with her and start heading out and partying yourself. this isnt one of those things that has a solution at this point in time. i know it hurts like hell and your probably denying this right now, but its the truth. let her know that you still love her and say something along the lines of 'maybe we'll get back together down the road someday when both of us know what we want out of life.' trying to get back her now will only push her away. DO NOT DO IT! DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT! i swear, calling her, sending her roses, gifts, etc... will ONLY push her farther away even though you dont intend it to and dont see how it could. she knows you love her, but she doesnt want that right now. part of her does, but most of her wants to be free. (if u take my advice) after u break up with her, go out and party, lift weights, learn guitar, nething, the way to get her back is by making yourself more appealing to the oppisate sex and by showing her that you can do fine on your own and dont need her. girls notice who the other girls are checking out. o, and im not just thinking all of this up and hoping it works, everything ive said is from personal experience, i lost what i still believe is the love of my life by pressuring her to get back with me. if you really want her back, youll let her go at this point of time in your life. good luck man -matt

sounds like your a good person. i'd definantly go with that praying to god for support. remember that this is only my opinion and its up to you to decide what to do, but i would try to be there for her as a friend if its possible for you to do that. i know it would be hard since you still love her, just try not to get your feelings for her involved in this. always help out your friends when there in need bro, even though it may be hard as hell on you. be there as support for her but dont get involved directly with the guy. ive never been in that type of situation but that is what i would do. good luck to you -matt

i saw keep it in, you brought this on yourself by snooping through his stuff so you deserve to deal with it yourself instead of causing him trouble over it also. hes already told you that he loves you very deeply. are you implying that hes the type of guy that will say that to someone when he actually doesnt care about them and wants someone else? because if thats so then i wouldnt want to be with someone like that. take a look at his character. if hes an honest and trustworthy guy then what more do you expect him to say? im pretty sure that even if he tells you that he would never leave you for her that it wont be good enough he never contacts her again. am i right? one of the biggest parts of a relationship is trust, you have to trust that your partner loves you and wouldnt hurt you, otherwise what is there?

go with what avman said, i like that.

girls never really learn comman sense or basic communication skills in life, you gotta learn to accept it. just ask her how she feels

Panda, you have to tell someone. Tell your parents and let them handle it. This is about more than just you and your friends relationship. If this guy did it once then he will do it again. Think about all the other girls that goto that church. The ones that may even be littlier than her and not comprehend what is taking place. By staying silent you are condemning other people to there fate and not stopping a wrong that is going to take place in the future. Think about it man. As a church goer myself I am deeply offended and bothered by this. If you refuse to do something about it because of the promise between you and your friend, then private message me the name of the town and church, I will gladly make a longdistance call and get this resolved myself. This is something that cannot take place again. I dont know how old you are, but no one is ever young enough to start taking a stand and becoming a man. This is your chance. Dont condemn other people to there fate and remain silent. -Matt

hehe, sounds good blue eyes im glad for you, i dont doubt that you feel that way, you just have to realize that 10, 8, 6, even 5 years from now you will have a different personality, just as she will. im not saying you will be completely different, im just saying that a lot of things will have changed with you. your appearance, the way you view things in life, maybe some of your ideals. both of you still have a lot of maturing to do. i dont mean that in a bad way, im 21 years old and i realize that i myself still do also. dont try and rush this or do something drastic to be with her. the best thing you can do, for you AND her, is to just continue as things are right now and see if you and her still feel the way you do way down the road. if you do, then thats great, if you dont, then that shows you that this isnt your soulmate and shes still out there waiting on you. in the meantime though, make sure you go out and party and still hangout and talk to your friends, nobody wants someone that doesnt have a life of there own and hangs around there feet all the time. good luck to ya

caliboy and viper, get back on here and tell me whats up. i feel for you 2 guys greatly, ive been going through the same damn thing since the beginning of the summer and i did exactly what you did cali. theres a difference between us though cali. theres 2 types of people in this world, the ones that quit, and the ones that keep struggling on no matter what. ive reached you on the path, seen where you laid their a bit, and then got up and headed in a different direction. i wont be following after you though my friend, im struggling onwards. love is a wonderful thing, you know that already, but think about this, how long in your life did you give it a chance to fix itself. look at how many years your going to have in your life compared to that. isnt love worth it? i speak to my ex every now and then, im going out partying every weekend, seeing people like shes seeing her new boyfriend, yet im not giving up the hope or the love that we had together. love never EVER really truly dies out i dont believe, it just weakens till you can no longer see or feel it, but its still there. you just have to do the right steps and take time to nerture that flame again. i realized that me and my ex will not get back together soon. it could be 5 or 10 years down the road, but i believe that it will happen. everything is based on time, and this will take alot of time to allow my ex to see ive changed who i am. theres no guareentee that we will get back together. but i believe... just as i believe theres a god up above... i believe....... i believe...... i believe....... and that is all that matters

thank you very much for replying router, hubman, and luv_sucks, ur words helped a little bit, and even a little bit makes a hugh difference right now

please help me, this is tearing me apart on this inside and nothing is making it better. me and my girlfriend split up at the beginning of the summer. since then weve been doing the friend thing. i love her with all my heart and she says she still loves me but as of right now she doesnt want to be with me. she broke up with me because we were arguing to much over stupid stuff. i couldnt back down from an argument and let her win. and i guess because i was too jealous of a person, when there was nothing in the world i should have been jealous over. she believes people cant change. i dont know whether she really still loves me or whether she told me that to try and make it easier on me. this is tearing me apart. i just want her back but nothing i can do will allow me another chance with her. we still talk on the phone and go out and hang out every now and then. she is all i think of, day and night. ive tried getting over her since i know thats what she wants... but i cant do it. we didnt speak for over a month and the entire month i went out and partied to get my mind off her. i thought of her even more then though. ive cryed once in my life. that was from 3rd degree burns on my arm. i dont cry at funerals or anything, yet us breaking up totally destroyed me. i broke down completely when it happened. and since then when i think about her the tears still start to come to my eyes before i can hold them back. i truly and utterly love her with everything i have. i dont know what to do without her. any advice anybody can give would truly help me out. please dont just say "time will help". i know time will help. its been since the beginning of the summer though and i still love her as much as always. i was stupid and screwed up, the thing that hurts the most is that i cant have another chance and i know this is my fault, i could have done so much more -matt

thank you everyone for replying, Mar hit it exactly on the head though. its my stubborness, at the time i couldnt back down in an argument because i always think my point has a lot more credit than hers. i always won the arguments but in the end it wasnt even really worth it. it wasnt until after she broke up with me that i realized it, but now i cant get her to trust me that things will be different.

my ex believes people cant change, she wont give me another chance because she believes that people cant change who they are. i think they can.