DarlinInDespair

Oh,...and yes, the closet was FULL of Boxes of all kinds of stuff. These were big Boxes,...stacked about his height which is 6 ft 2. I would think there is a bit of addiction going on. That is a bit, "abnormal"., for all of that in one closet. Ok...we have a great sex life. Its wonderful,...but, when the books do come,...he is less aggressive, loss of passion,...and energy is drained. To put if blunt,...its as if he has already had sex in the afternoon before I get home from work. We both get in around the same time,...but sometimes he makes it home first. This ususally goes on about 1 week out of the month. After the new edition comes. That is my only problem. If it wouldnt effect "our" quality of bedroom time,..then I would look at it your way. Heck,..he is one to get very dramatic,...excited,...and absoutley never misses a huge explosion,...except during that time. That is my point. Thanks again, Darlin

Thanks for all the messages but I think some of you are not quite understanding what I actually said. Then again,...I didnt say it correctly yesterday because of being so upset. First of all, He and I had this Discussion a very long time ago. I put up with it for a very long time. The more I put up with it,..the more it was thrown in my face. That is not what I appreciated. I polietely told him how I felt and he told me that he absoutley understood and respected my feelings. It was His decision, not mine...to remove the calendars. We had a nice talk (a talk that he thanked me for), and then went out and removed them. Now then,...the books. I think I need to make something straight here. When we first met,..he told me he only looked at those books because he was a "bachelor". That was fine with me. Im human. As time went on....and he wasnt a bachelor anymore,...he still looked, more and more. The day I had to say something about the book was the day he got the mail out of the box and there one of the books were. We went inside and finished putting up the groceries. I didnt say a thing,...as he was tearing the black plastic off,...and put D'H's cover right in front of me saying.....wow! look who is on the front of this?? ok guys..That is a bit to much. That is where respect comes in...right?? He was taking advantage of me at this point. Now then,....he told me he threw out the books because "he told me that he would not want me looking at playgirl." Thats when I discovered he didnt throw them out at all. He lied to me and hid them. Now?? does that make sense?? I never tried to control him. I just think hes getting into more Porn,..in his 40 mid life crisis, and he dont care who sees it. Gosh,..our neighbors couldnt believe he still had those calendars up. People were talking like ...how can she put up with that?? I hope I made better sense today.....and I do thank you for all your post.

I have to agree with the above poster. It hurts so badly for the GF or wife. I know, I am a victim of the Man wanting to spend the rest of his life with me, suddenly told me it was "over" because he chose his books. I know how this person is feeling. I hurts

I prayed tonight for My Lord above to help me with this pain that is killing my body, my soul, my spirit,...as well as my Heart being ripped out. This is my first post,..and I found this site after I prayed for help. I feel like all of you after reading some post,..can help me understand and what to do. I am 38 years old. A very petite attractive lady,..so my BF has told me everyday. I have always taken care of myself and so has he. We had been dating for 6 months, and everything was magical. We had so much in common,..etc. When we first met, I noticed One Playboy Magazine on his fireplace with a few more books. I just happen to glance at it (then) and he said..it was the bachelor thing. Keep in mind, we had just met. Soon,..as we became closer to where my place was only for getting my things to take to his house. We did everything together. The whole neighborhood talked about what an awsome couple we made. By the way,..he is one year older,..and we have been married once in our life time. Our child (each) are grown and on their own, so it has just been us. I have been there watching his new furniture arrive,..only for him to tell me that he cant wait to share all of this with me for the rest of our lives. But still,...The PLAYBOY books kept coming. I had no idea what he was doing with the other issues. At this point in the relationship,..it was bothering me. sometimes I could tell in bed,..that he wasnt into making love as others. I would immediately think, that he had been reading his "book" before I got there that evening. I knew his sexual habits well,..as he did mine,..."with each other". Anyhow,...even a few neighbors said something to me about it because he had 4 calendars on his wall in his garage. He does have a nice harley and a nice home,...but everyday, I had to look at the calendars and the book inside. One evening about 2 months ago,..I quietly sat down in a very mature manner and told him how much the Books and Calendars hurt me. He told me he appreciated my thoughts. He went out in the Garage and took the calendars down. One was completely nude each month. I felt embarrassed when we had cookouts for neighbors,..and it hurt me. Anyhow,..he told me he got rid of the calendars as I saw them in a trash can,...but where was the Brand New Issue of PLAYBOY?? that just arrived that afternoon? The one he got out of the mailbox in front of me,..tore open the black plastic,...and said look who is on the front? I was so hurt. I asked him where the Book was nicely,...and he told me nicely that he "got rid of it". making me think it was in the trash. I had a gut feeling about something because each morning when i got ready for work...he never left with me. I started feeling like he was hiding something. A week passed and I took him to the airport for his traveling for work. He would be gone only 2 days. The whole time, the book was on my mind. Where did it go? It wasnt in the trash. Now we are in the subject of dishonesty. When I picked him up from the airport,...and we got home,..I said,...honey? you told me you got rid of the book with the calendars. right? He said yes honey. I asked because it was eating a hole in my stmach and my nerves. I said where did you put it,..nicely. He finally told me...."IN the closet". I just about fainted. I followed in to the closet,...and he didnt want me to see but there was a stack of porn as tall as I am. 5 ft 2. I got so sick. I loved this man so much and he flat out lied to me,.making me think he threw it away. Sorry this is long but Im trying to make my point I am so upset I have been crying since Friday nite. Friday nite he was talking about his business trip out of town tomorrow. Be back on Wednesday. I know the guys that goes loves the strip clubs. I never said one thing and all the sudden,..he said...I was pushing him away. I was shocked because I never said anything about his traveling. I did notice our love making was different. Always around the time the new issues would come. A day before,..we were talking weddings,..and the next day, he said I was pushing him away because of the books???? He even told me he appreciated my feelings in a very mature way. Well yesterday morning,..He e-mailed me and said our relationship was terminated immediately like I was some kind of business person. We had a whole life of plans together. he wouldnt answer my calls, and let his machice take them. I went over to try and talk this out,..and he wouldnt let me go inside. he was very bitter and said its "OVER". in a very hurtful way. He had no emotion as I begged him not to do this, crying my eyes and heart out. He told me to "get a grip" and pull myself togetherr.??? He kept hurting me over and over. My question is,.....Do you all think he is so quilty of lying to me,...and still reading them,..that he dumped me?? He told me he loved me yesterday more than anything but still he said its "over". I know he never stopped reading the books. I feel it in my gut. all he had to do was talk to me about it instead of lying. Am I wrong??? I have called him since yesterday and left messages,...and not Once has he called me back. he was a total different person outside his house yesterday. What should I do?? Im hurting so bad??? Please give advice!