goddess23

ouch. sorry fct but that phonecall did not come accross as too low key. its great that you have so much faith in her but im going to stick to the original advice on creating a new MINDSET and trying to move on like hanging with friends was a good thing. let things flow if she doesnt contact you dont make such an effort to contact her. i know to you it doesnt seem as much that little phone call and i know it isnt THAT MUCH but with time tryyy and make it so that you contact her because she contacted you. or if you really have something to tell her or some business with her. no "how you doing, just wanted to call to see whats up" kind of stuff. it really seems like right now she doesnt have any interest in keeping up a relationship (even a strong friendship at this point) and to be honest it really isnt possible so quickly. give it some time, then build on a friendship again and maybe even a relationship but as i said its better to focus on moving forward.

hey. well just a quick point...to be honest i dont look at first kisses that way. the first kiss...the first first first kiss lol is something more special than anything. i mean okay all first kisses are special, hey all kisses are. but theres something about that first one. and okay at my age i feel i would definitely want to have sex with someone who is also a virgin. i mean my first kiss was at 16 (considered pretty late) and it was the firs kiss for the guy. and that made me really happy. and honeslty later on i doubt im going to care about experience, the only thing experience does to my head is make me think about std's. lol. but again im young...maybe later ill feel like i want an experienced lover but i doubt it. its all the same. the only thing i like about an unexperienced person is the whole idea of std's and thinking that its special for them.

ye max is rightt...if she likes you shes just waiting for it. okay...seems like you're not ready to ask her for a date....well compliment her and stuff and see the reaction!! or like walk her home one day and just tlak to her and stuff. not a date just "alone" casual stuff. just hang out at lunch with her even if its with a few friends then when you hang out alone it wont seem like sucha stretch yet have a semi-romantic feel. and you know her: i mean if shes a flirtatious person then its hard to really tell if she likes you. but if shes shy and stuff and she gives you signs then heloooo!! if shes a flirt eventurally she'll HAVE TO DECLARE her feelings. but i really suggest you dont wait because she'll move onto the next guy if she thinks you dont like her and even if i make it totally obvious to a guy i wnat him to do the asking out.

first thing first: its NOT YOU. however, the situation is causing you both to change. him more so than you (it seems). and because of the situation you feelings can change. and you're right you guys are young and maybe you guys have been together for so long it feels comfortable and almost like you have no idea what else is out there (i mean i always have this fear-ive been with my bf for a year and a half now and im 17 so yeah). so maybe he feels like he wants to see what else is there maybe its just getting a bit too much because of the distance. it seems like you guys need to take a break. maybe you should initiate it bring it up. be like "lately you've been very disconnected, maybe we should take a little break". you could even set a time frame so that after that period of time you guys can decide on whether or not to get back together. i dont want ot be a downer but it does seem to be completely exhausted at this point. talk to him seriously at least about his behavior, its not fair to you.

omggg honeyyyy plzzzzzz plzzzz get out of this. i mean if there was no gf involved i would be like ok fine whatever it could work but thisss! this is obviously tearing apart your self esteem and its definitely unfair to you and its unfair to his gf as well. and guys dont go with other gilrs because they're preetier than you or even nicer than you. its just someone else. a different person. so DONT COMPARE YOURESLF TO HER. i wouldnt be surprised if you're a million times better than her in every way, but i wouldnt be surprised if it was the other way around. im just saying dont compare!! you deserve so much better. this guy hated you and now hes using you for sex. GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT and honeslty i rarely give this kind of advice. this is just a horrible situation to put yourself through

thanx for the compliment bounder. im glad my post could help someone or at least shed some light on a situation you have. it is very difficult and very painful. the only thing to do is to have the mindset i mentioned and keep busy. good luck to you all

okay obviously: follow your heart. however based on your situation my advice would be to stay with your current bf. because as genuine as your ex seems its just a lillll too flaky. i mean im sure it mustve been somewhat embaressing all this back and forth. (gawwwd how patethic middle schoo lwas) but i also know how the feelings we had back then are just as strong. so yeah it seems just a bit to weird that he would even tell you he was moving and whatever thers just no excuse. and if you're happy with earl then great i really think you should get over jerry. i mean if you find yourself way too torn then its really not fair to either of them and you should be single and just say straight up that you need some time.

hey ya i agree she sounds CONFUSED TO THE MAX. it seems that she does still have some feelings for you but it could be just the whole past thing. i mean the whole ex issue you just always remember the steamy moments and its hard to just forget about it. and when you current flame isnt so hot or you dont have a current flame then the ex seems veryyyy enticing. she may have been having a rough patch with her bf and was regretting it. she couldve juts been horny that day. because she wanted to kiss you doesnt mean she was suddenly ATTRACTED TO YOU vs. not attracted. it could be just something going on at the time. thereforeeee it wasnt like her feelings switched on and off it was her situation that changed. just a possibility however lol. but bottom line is that shes confused. and i think you're doing well. acting very cool about everything. if she talks about it let her if she wants to try something be straight up and say look im not here for you to just play with to test especially when your dealing with someone. its just not right. see her reaction if it does come up later. but ya shes conflicted. let her be. keep playing it cool. and dont hope too much about it. i think you should bring up some random girl...dont need to lie just talk about someone you might have met or something see if it gets to her at all. if she does breka up with her bf then its fair game and you can do what you want.

lol heyyy fellow 17 year old dark long haired girl whos been stuck with the same style forever! i dont know exactly what you look like so i dont wanna tell you to do something ya no? but honestly i really im not bored anymore i mean im not bored with my look ive come to absolutely love it. and i have very dark hair and i used to wanna lighten it but now i realize it defines my features it makes me look really defined and outstanding. but something to make you feel beautiful...it has to come from within. now no doubt im not gonna lie what happens within is often greatly influenced by the exterior or outside factors such as your peers. but really until you're happy with yourself it really doesnt matter. you sound beautiful already (you sound like me!! lol jkss) and just look in the mirror and focus on all the stuff you lovee. but a new look? well i say start small....and unless you have at least 500 to spend on a new look for clothing clothes is not a good place to start. now again i dont know your style...i mean if you're not used to glammed up try a girly halter or a flirty skirt. but i say start small...natural looking highlights, funky makeup is a great way to mix up your look. so play around with it you might stumble upon something very "you".

hey. ya i want to just add to sizzles post. because i dont want you to just think merrily...the fact of the matter is she may have simply lost the feelings she had (not IN LOVE ANYMORE but still loves you) and this is an excuse shes using, maybe even to herself! all im saying is that after my bf dumped me (VERY SIMILAR SITUATION in the sense that at 16 we were in love he was part of my family i mean it was serious we knew eachother for a good 3 years and all that) after he went on vacation (ahhh dont you hate vacations loL!) and during the oh say hour long convo his answers went from "i just need time" to "i just dont know how i feel anymore". and i dont know how, but i never stopped loving him but i did this much : i told myself it was OVER i told myself its no longer a relationship and despite the dreams of us once again uniting i truly believed it was over even though he gave me lil signs to make me think it wasnt. i mean even the breakup wasnt a real ITS OVER FOR GOOD DONT WAIT kinda thing. and ill tell you that mindset i had helped me ALOTT and thats the one real piece of advice i can give you. you have to tell yourself its over. this way you can begin to move on so that if you dont get back together its not like starting from the day after you broke up ya no? and ya you definitely wanna keep yourself busy and just not msg her or call her too mcuh. if she wants to talk great. you know what the first couple of weeks after my breakup we stayed REALLY CLOSE talked like we were still together and as we started to drift it hurt so bad i cried so much but i said to myself "if he doesnt care, why should i show him that i do". if its going to drift let it drift. its REALLY DIFFIUCLT i know but you have to be strong. sorry for my babbling but i think its helping lol. but yeah tell youreslf its over and tryyy and move on and keep yourself busy so that you dont feel tempted to call or msg her. if you're sitting at your comp or staring at your phone theres NO WAY you wont contact her. slolwy but surely you'll get used to it. but ya its great to trust her and what not but its very possible she really just doesnt want to completely hurt you and is giving you a sugar coated break up. so thats why you shouldnt keep your hopes up. btw for tthe record me n my bf are back together and pretty goood. and i asked him the other day "did you ever think we'd get back together?" and he said " no i really didnt"...and that reminds me of the breakup...he didnt have intentions of getting back together. so yeah if its meant to be itll happen. i mean i really just let go and started to move on and then one day we just started to click all over again. stay strong, move on consider it over it was great and it leaves you with beautiful memories and has made you who you are today.

first of all what is flirting. thats a difficult long question lol. but lets see, simply defined i would say its when you act extra warm towards a person because of a physical attraction. but thtas when you are intentionally flirting. you can sometimes flirt wihtout intending to and thats basically just saying thigns or acting in an inviting mannor implying that you are attracted to that person. classic signs are adjusting your clothing/hair, saying things of a sexual nature, and stuff you dont even notice like licking your lips or watching the person straight in their eyes for an extended amount of time. now if therse sucha thing as flirting too much? well yes...because it can come accross as desperate, skanky or just plain rude. depending on the situation and your relationship with the person.

hey all. okay...this is just a general question. now guys, even girls, when you masturbate or whatever do you think of your partner if you have one? do u rely more on the thought of that person or porn or someone/something else? and is it a good thing if you do? like as a guy if you do that does it mean you just want the girl for sex??

WOAH. generally speaking you dont have the right to be upset about him not saying i lvoe you. but he has its like when you ask him if hes IN LOVE with you its an i dont know which is veryyy worrysome to me since he can say those feelings will never go away for his ex. it should be the opposite. he should be IN LOVE with you (its a short time still, yet long enough for something real). and as far as his ex he should defnitely not be IN LOVE WITH HER. he may always love her. care about her as a person but this is just too much. i mean i know its like its sooo out in the open you feel like its hard to say they're doing something wrong! what an awkward situation. i think you should sit him down and tell him that you dont want to be a nagging gf and ofcourse you're not forbidding him from anything but just let him know that it bothers you taht he is soo close to his gf and still seems to have feelings for her. tell him that if hes not over his ex then maybe you guys shouldnt be together right now. but before jumping to that just tell him that it does bother you and there are simply too many thigns from his past. its fine to keep old things but it seems like its part of everything. i mean her pic is still in his wallet! thats insane! sorry but this is just crossing the "ex" line. talk to him. see his response. if its not a postive one then i would suggest taking a break at least so he cant figure out what he wants.

hey. well i think its fine to ask a guy out. but its probably best to llet him do the OFFICAL asking out. for example: my lil story lol. i liked this guy for a long time and it was obvious he liked me. we would flirt alot but i flirted more. and we would ask eachother "so who would you go out with if you could?" and we would both answer eachother like it was REALLY OBVIOUS and finally one day i could take it anymore and i told him i liked him. but i told myself im not going to ask him out. if he relaly likes me back he'll do that much. ive made my feelings clear and this way he can make his feeligns clear.

hey well it does seem strange that she "moved on" so quickly. honeslty i think it is a rebound relationship, but the thing about those is that it could very possibly be the one or turn out to be a wonderful relationshp but i think its best to have moved on and closed that past door before moving forward. take your time, and do what feels right. dont look at her pace to figure out what yours should be. and it is possible she could have moved on but i highly doubt it considering the situation. this new guy is probably the perfect "distraction". and after time it may become something amazing for her but the chances of it being a healthy relationship are low in my PERSONAL OPINION. because after something like that i doubt she has truly moved on.

hey. well now my relationship is mutually like that. but theres an EXTREMEMLY HIGH LEVEL OF TRUST and there are many serious converstaions as well that re-enforce that trust. i mean we have both said we trust eachother with our lives. and we had broken up and when we were in the gettin back together stage it ended up being one of those elementry type relationship where we bug the hell out of eachother lol. and we insult eachother and then start making out. like when i was leaving for my trip im like "try and get laid!" and hes like "i will!" lol. so for US IT WORKS but its not for everyone and if your bf cannot understand this after so many serious talks then its time tosay goodbye. i mean i think you should give him one more chance and even though insecurity is not very attractive especially to guys this is different. tell him becaues of your past this is just not what you need and that if he cannot realize this then you need to end it. i mean to be honest if you would actually believe something like that (that he got his ex pregnant) so quickly then that says something. it seems the trust in this relationsihp is missing and thats a problem.

hey well i dont think thats true. i mean im a virgin here but still i know what you're talking about. its like ive heard "sex means he wants you, a kiss means i love you". these have LILLL rings of truth but not really. in this case having sex slowly or quickly well i think its about hte mood. you know you might be in a really romantic mood (well him) or maybe its the first time or something like that so then the motion will be slow because you're both scared or its a special night or you're just in the mood to go slow. think about it: married couples probably are not having only fast or slow motion everytime they have sex. you NEED both after a while! i say dont look at the sex to see if he cares, or if you do see if he takes the time to pleasure you or make sure you enjoy something. kiss you alot....but really looking at if he cares should be done during a situation not so....hot??

hey all sorry i just wanted to put in a few more things lol. i think the whole idea that sex wont be good the first couple of tiems and you get disappointed its like any other thing. i mean the first kiss is never that GREAT its just because of the chemistry and feeligns you have for the person that make it exciting and a good experience. not the actual kiss. oo and btw about oral....well im a clean person i mean i am and i look pretty good from the outside lol. and as sweet as my bf is i mean we had talked about oral alot before it happening so when he did go down on me i didnt really enjoy it and i dont think he did either and im like was it bad? and hes like no it was fine but i could tell he didnt enjoy the taste. i mean its sweet he didnt say straight up he didnt enjoy it but its never happened again. the thing is i think with blowjobs is we dont taste anything until a guy actually cums. and just think as a girl....lets say you end up having oral say after work or after school and you havnt showered since the night before or soemthing....i doubt its going to taste good. so i think blowjobs are maybe more bareable? just my opinion. i think girls should probably be freshly showered or something, and hey it wouldnt hurt if the guy was too! and its nice to hear some of you say you just rather cuddle! so would i! even though i havnt had sex, even the stuff i have done its fun and all but my fav is still kissing and cuddling! its nice to hear some guys feel the same way!

hey. well i dont know the FULL BACKROUND but i know the ex relationship thing. and look the only thing you can do is go with the flow. no pushing no utlimate flirting if shes not reciprocating. and honestly try and keep your hopes down. i know thats really weird advice but ive realized the BEST THING TO DO in these situations is tell yourself its OVER ITS NOT A RELAITONSHIP ANYMORE and just focus on moving on. if it happesn great and if not at least you're not still at square one the day after breaking up. so right now its obviously somewhat getting back there if she starts fliritng back then let that happen do it for a little while see how things are going start brining up the past see what she has to say. (ive gone through this!!) for example you could ask "so do you ever wish we were still together?" just randomness based on your relationshp. and if things are going well then talk about where you guys stand and if you should give it another shot. i mean my ex and i had just randomly started spending hourssss together after school and stuff and flirted like CRAZZZZZY and then after like a good month we're like well yeah i still like you i like you so what now? and we're like well lets give it another shot....so dont push i mean i reallly didnt expect that to happen. remember that you guys broke up for a reason

BE STRONG! obviously you did the right thing, for you yourself to actually see these major faults means that they were relatively apparent! this relationsihp was obviously a major part of your life. considering your age it must have been serious and to get to an engagement stage definitely means it was something significant. it will be difficult painful and confusing when ending something like that. thats completely natural (gawd i felt that way after my first relationship at 16!). he obviously hurt you and the negative definitely outweighed the positive. you need to be with someone who you NEVER EVER use the word abusive to describe their behavior towards you. i mean its one thing to not be get the queen treatment but to be with someone like that is not worth it. being with this guy is showing very little self respect. look i know how difficult it is to love someone and how difficult it is to try and move on and im not even tlaking about an engagement. so i KNOW to say it is MUCH EASIER then doing it but it is CLEAR THAT THIS WAS THE RIGHT DECISION. be strong and just tell yourself you are now a stronger person and you can now move on to someone worth your love. good luck

to be honest it seems like your bf was kind of waiting for an oppertunity to take a break. i dont want to be too disheartening here but maybe its best to leave it alone for a bit you've told him you're sorry you could even send him a really heartfelt letter or email or something or even meet up and say you just wanna tlak eveyrthing over. but it seems that right now he wants the space and pulling him is actually going to cause you to push him away. i know you're scared right now but realize that even if it ends its not the end of the world. but its not over and this could jsut be a little bump in your relationship road just give it a few days let thigns cool off and then see whats happening. then you can know for sure where you guys stand.

well in my area its more like a movie or dinner lol but yea pretty much. just give em a call be like wow its been a crazy busy summer what you been up to we gotta see eacohther guyyy before school starts! and make a plan and get together. simple, its not like a blind date here

personal beauty secret thats totally cheap: black soap. you can apprently even use it to clean your hair! but i used to use it on my face and back (used to have mild acne on my back) and it worked really well so it would probably work for that area as well. the only thing is that they may not be pimples...could be heats? but you could try some type of acne treatment see what happens. or see a derm to find out for sure but really i mean it should bother you too much, i mean how noticeable is going to be to a girl.

honestly in my personal experiecne every guy friend of mine at ONE POINT OR ANOTHER has liked me. but i dont think all of my friendships have been initiated because of some type of physical attraction, but yet sometime during the friendsihp the guy has developed feelings for me but for some it died down for some they were obsessed but being taken definitely helped.

dryyyyyyyy LMAO. yeee...i really doubt sex is that great. but hey the womans ego is just as sensitive as the male ego so try and be a lilll easier on us! lol