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phil1981UK

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Everything posted by phil1981UK

  1. phil1981UK
    There's nothing you can do, he is going to meet your flatmate eventually, and if he ends up wanting her over you then you two wernt meant to be together, its as simple as that. Remember, he has a life away from you where Im sure he meets many other women in the course of his activities, some will of course be pretty too, does he want to be with them? No, otherwise he would be right! So if he's with you its because he wants to be with you, if he didnt he'd be elsewhere. I bet you meet plenty of good looking guys in your life, do you go out with them??? Be confident in yourself that this guy wants YOU, invite him enthuastically to meet your flatmate, you will soon realise if he does like her, but its unlikely, for one thing she already has a boyfriend! You need to have good self esteem, if you havent then you need to fake it, if you dont and you are always scared of introducing him to girls you think are prettier then you, he will lose respect for you as he realises your jealous side is is pretty strong! Be confident, love who YOU are, have your own plans, your own aims and ambitions, and dont be fearful of losing a guy, it will firstly destroy you and then your relationship. Live, be happy and let the chips fall where they will, it may not be as bad as you think. Good luck.
  2. phil1981UK
    Good words man, think i'll send em to my gf! ps I used to live in gosport too!
  3. phil1981UK
    Stay well clear buddy, im in an LDR and its tough, very tough. I dont know whether you already met her or not, but if not my advice is maybe not valid. I met a girl, we dated for a few months, fell in love, then she had to go home (800 miles way in a different country), now were trying to make it work accross the distance and its tough as hell. If you have never met her then I dont see how you can have a relationship of any kind, the whole idea of having a girlfriend you never met is at best bizarre!!! If you have met her and know you love her then try, but be ready for nights of lonliness thinking about her all the time!!! As for kissing, go for the cheek, but do that thing where you hold your cheeks together as you do it, kiss her cheek quite a few times, but with each kiss move towards her mouth, nice! Ohh but if you never met her go for the cheek just once or youll get a slap ;-) Good luck.
  4. phil1981UK
    If you want my advice, I wouldnt pursue it, LDR's are tough to handle (as Im finding). You miss them, you want to be with them and you cant, you have other opportunities with people close by which you turn down because of the LDR but its tempting becuase your lonely so you have to be very strong. Its hard work mentally. Given my time again I wouldnt be in the LDR i now am, but its to late for me cos now I love her and want to be with her, but part of me wishes I never met her because its tough missing her. I would never get in an LDR again (though I probably would cos im stupid like that) My advice, get out while you can, its tough in here buddy and given the choice you should avoid it, of course if your already smitten then its probably to late for you too and you'll go for it... be sure your strong enough if you do. Good luck what ever you decide.
  5. phil1981UK
    dude, your thinking about it to much, you know your not gay, you fancy women, not blokes, you just like a physical thing associated with gay sex, dont worry about it and enjoy your woman!
  6. phil1981UK
    Well, you probably wont do it, but I suggest no matter how much you love her you be strong enough to tell her to get lost, shes cheated on you man... think about it... keep some pride. Get out there and have some fun, there are loads of girls out there, you dont have to commit to them just have a good time for a while. Dont let her back in, cut yourself off from her and meet other people, its the only way you'll get over it. Good luck.
  7. phil1981UK
    Hey dude, sounds like you got a situation there. Well, It certainly sounds like she dosent really want to lose you, she is trying to keep you in her life and thats a good thing. But you should be wary that she isnt trying to have her cake and eat it so to speak, she says she dosent want a relationship and that to me sounds like she wants to play the field a little, but at the same time she is trying to stop you doing the same by saying things like she couldnt bear to see you with anyone else, so be careful. The best thing I think you can do is go out with your mates as much as possible and enjoy yourself. Whatever else you do dont cut yourself of from new opportunities with other girls, if one comes along that you like then take her out, its no commitment, but it will help you. And it may well make you (ex)girlfriend realise she wants you back! Be strong and get on with your own life and she will respect you for that, in the end if she wants you she will let you know, if she dosent then you wont have wasted a lot of time waiting for her. From what you say, theres a good chance youll get back together, just make sure she dosent make a mug of you in between. Good luck buddy.
  8. phil1981UK
    I agree with the above, I think there is something seriously amiss here. Firstly, you need to to sort this guy out, he knows she's got a boyfriend but he's still giving her major sex based attention. If I were you, I'd skip round there and tell him to back off, people on here will no doubt flame me for saying this, but if what your girlfriend says is true, its HIM thats causing you a problem, not your girlfriend, so go have words (assuming he's not a kung fu expert or something If you cant do this, or you do and it continues, then I would have a serious think about whether you should stay with this girl, if she has a past history of cheating and has lied to you already about things then I dont know whether you can trust her, if it turns out she has been playing how are you gonna feel, can you take that risk? Be honest with yourself, if you cant trust her, bin her and get someone you can trust. Good luck man.
  9. phil1981UK
    Well, if it was me I would go for it, not hit her with the whole love thing, just ask her out somewhere, tell her you like her, but keep it light hearted and fun, this way you wont scare her off. I dont believe you should back away from it, give it a go, she might not be the person she is making out to be...
  10. phil1981UK
    Hi, I agree with Kung, a letter would be the best thing, im in an LDR right now and there is nothing I would like to receive more from her than a loving letter (though I dont think i'll get one! Make it heartfelt and he'll love it. Anything you do to keep the love is good though, so dont hold back, just get creative and do things you think he'll like. Best of luck, I hope it woeks out for you.
  11. phil1981UK
    Personally, I would say a month is too long, if you got something to say or just wanna chat then call, dont think about "oh but I only called last week", just call. Step away from the programmed timing of contact and just go with how you feel. Obviously every day or 2 is too often but anything else is fine i think, if you feel it, do it, stop calculating! Sorted...
  12. phil1981UK
    Dude, rough times, everythign everybody else has said is right, keep yourself busy, you know shes coming back, just concentrate on that. 2 months will pass very quickly, its no consolation to you but I live in the UK and my Polish (i know its confusing!) gf has gone off to work in the caribbean until December!!!! The time will pass so quick and she'll be back in your arms before you know it. Be strong my friend.
  13. phil1981UK
    I find just saying hi and then asking there name works, then immediately afterwards say something wacky to spark there interest... what wacky thing should you say? Use your imagination, just make sure its bizarre and funny and wont make you look like a nutter! Tell em you wrestle hampsters 4 a hobby or summit, you get the idea.
  14. phil1981UK
    Hi Guys! OK, I wrote some advice requests here before xmas about my relationship with a Polish girl who was going home for good at xmas. Well she went home and we stayed in contact and I went to Poland to see her last week. We had a great time. I managed to convince (note this) her that it was worth trying to give the LDR a go even though she really didnt want to. She couldnt imagine it working and just wanted to leave it as it was and never see each other again! Anyhow she agreed to try. We do love each other so it may work. Enter girl 2... well I met another girl just before I went to Poland and she wants to see me, shes good fun and I like her. But I have the girl in Poland and now dont know what to do. If the girl in Poland was absolutly sure that she wanted try the LDR it wouldnt be an issue, I would tell girl 2 to go away. But as the Polish girl wasnt sure and it took me convincing her to make her agree, I wonder if she will call it off sometime soon and that will be that. Do i try seeing girl 2 incase Polish girl drops it? I love the polish girl but I am realistic that she may pull out of our agreement or that it just wont work out? I like girl 2 and she is here and not 800 miles away. Any help or advice, even if its calling me names for even thinking about dating another girl would be much appreciated. Thanks
  15. phil1981UK
    Hi Guys, I've posted a few requests about this girl Im seeing in the past, and I now have another one! In a nutshell, Im in the UK, shes from Poland and been over here for 6 months. I've been seeing her for about 3 months. Shes going home on the 21st December, for good. Now Im certain were stay friends, as for anything else I dont know, neither does she, were both realistic about it and know friends is maybe all it can with the distance but theres hope. Anyhow, I really like (love?) her and am gonna go nuts over christmas and after new year cos I wont be with her, any tips on coping with it? An any tips on how we can possibly make it work being in different countries would be appreciated too! We could certainly see each other 6-8 times a year for a week, is that enough? Thanks for any advice.
  16. phil1981UK
    Well if you dont care then blow her out and move on, get a girl who isnt a push over and dosent get drunk and sleep at her bosses house! She sounds like she got troubles, but hey if you dont care enough for her to stick with her through them then drop it. Be true to yourself buddy, she sure dont sound like the kinda girl id wanna be with and the same is probebrly true of most guys, including you by the sound of it. Paint a picture of who you really want and go find em!
  17. phil1981UK
    Well, for my part, I think it'd be better not to have loved. I have felt so much for someone, shared so much and felt so close to them like we were each half of the same person that when I lost it it really blew me away. If I had never have felt so good, I would never have felt so bad, and the bad lasts much much longer than good ever did! They say what goes up must come down, and its true, thing is you only hit something hard when you come down. If I ever feel like that again with anyone else I'll consider myself a very lucky man, and if it lasts Im sure my view will change.
  18. phil1981UK
    Elbobowolobski got it just right i reckon. If you call her or see her it has to be for a casual reason, dont go overboard with anything romantic, you have to make it look like you have moved on. This is the only way there may be a chance you'll get her back cos she'll start to wonder how good your life is going and what your up to. But you need to stay realistic sadly, the fact is she has form, she dumped to be with you and she dumped you to be with someone else, not a good record! My honest advice (but the hardest to do) is to forget her and move on, get out and try and get some dates, maybe even a new girlfriend, you will have to be strong and force yourself to do it, but the feelings for your ex will fade and one of your dates maybe the REAL one for you! Hang with your buddies, dont sit indoors being depressed. Stand tall, be strong and move on, until you do your life will be in limbo, thats a waste of YOUR life.
  19. phil1981UK
    More "proactive", heh, man you just gotta go with the flow. If you think she can handle a bit more then kissing then go for it, move your hands to other places you havent so far, her butt, breasts, kiss her neck, do whatever, she will so let you know if she aint happy with, trust me on that! Forgot any methods or procedures you think matter and do what you feel, dont worry about trying to read her signals, if you put her hand on her butt and she pulls it off then you know the score right! Go for it and good luck!
  20. phil1981UK
    I dont know what food you ate before hand, but it should have been a high carb based meal. Once your work out is done you should move to more protein based meals. As for the dizzy and sick feeling, this is almost certainly a lack of decent suger in your system. Try eating an apple or banana just before your workout, these fruits release there enery very quickly and it should enable your body to stay loaded with suger (and thereforeeee energy) during the course of your workout. By the way dont eat suger itself thinking it'll give you the same effect, it wont, fruit sugers are absorbed much more quickly then other sugers. And it goes without saying to ensure you drink plenty of fluids during the workout, the best thing to drink is one of those sports drink, again to keep your energy levels up. If you still feel dizzy and sick when working out after following the above I suggest you see a doc about the possibility of some other medical issue you may have. Good luck and stay motivated man!
  21. phil1981UK
    Hi guys, Been seeing a girl for a few months, i really like, and I mean REALLY like. I think she likes me too but maybe not as much, im not sure. Fact is I live in the UK and shes from Poland and shes been working over here for the last six months, sadly shes going home for good in a couple of weeks. Now I have had many relationships and I can honestly say I havent felt for any of my other girlfriends what i feel for this girl. I suppose what I want to know is should I go for it and tell her my true feelings and that even though shes going home I would like try and maintain our relationship and if it all goes well maybe in future we can be together permantly? Never in my 31 years have I felt like this, maybe I wont again, thats what makes me want to go for it, I have nothing to lose right, if shes says no then at least I will know, If i dont go for it I will always be wondering? Any advice appreciated as I dont know what to do, listen to my head or heart!
  22. phil1981UK
    Hi dude, Well I dunno what sort of personality you got but people who have a lack of self esteem or confidence in themselves are often the ones who feel like this (myself included on many occasions!) whilst others seem to not even think about it, I think its cos they have enough confidence to think about the future and the new people they are going to meet instead of thinking about an old relationship. Of course I might be talking rubbish but thats my view, it always seems to hit me harder than the other person when girlfriends and I have broken up, so I think its a personality trait rather than the actual feelings for someone (though this is obviusly a factor). Bottom line: Nothing you can do, it will pass with time, just try and find some dates to take your mind of her, works for me. Good Luck
  23. phil1981UK
    Hey, sorry to her your struggling. Listen dude, it does get easier, the time depends on lots of things, how strong your feelings are, how it ended, how long you were together. I seem to remember reading somewhere it takes 1 month for every year you are together to cope with a break up, obviously it depends on the person though. It does get better, I was in an 8 year relationship which went the way of the pear, but after a few months I met someone else, might not last but at least its getting me over the long relationship. Hang in there, when your ready get out and try and land some dates, nothing like someone new to take your mind of someone old! Good Luck.
  24. phil1981UK
    You'll never regret the things you do in life as much as you'll regret the things you dont. Nuff said.
  25. phil1981UK
    Only one way buddy, thats to get out there and start dating, hell get a new girlfriend, she'll take your mind of your ex in no time, if you dont do this all you have to think about is your ex, thats no life! It'll be hard and you may find you dont especially fancy any of the girls you go out with, but it dont matter, its the act that matters, it gives you summit else to think about. Move on with your own life, your ex has gone and you need to think about yourself now, get spruced, hit the bars and check out all the beautiful single women who are out there waiting for ya! Good luck.
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