phil1981UK

Just like to chuck in my alternative viewpoint, I dont know whether its a guy thing (i notice the other replys are from girls I think), but for me personally it was no big deal, and the same goes for most guys I know. For what its worth I would say if you like a girl then go for it, dont worry being in love with her and dont worry about looking back on it in the future and thinking how you wasted your cherry, if your like most guys it wont bother you, just make sure you like her (and she likes you!), she aint a slapper and you cover mr lover! Jump on the band wagon and you wont look back, believe me. Good luck.

Well, it's not always what you know about someone that makes you like them, there is much more to attraction then that. It has been proven many times that people find other people attractive on a genetic level, even without speaking to a person its possible to find someone attractive just because your genetics are in sync. You cant stop it or control it, all you can do is manage the situation as best you can. If you feel something may happen then you must be very strong. What would you do if this guy came on to you, could you stop yourself? You should plan now how you will handle this if it happens, and stick to it if it does kick off. remember your boyfriend and what you feel for him and how devestated he would be if firstly he found your feelings for this other guy and secondly if you actually acted on those feelings. Good luck, but it may take more than that!

Ask them if they heard the new album from somebody, tell em its pretty cool and you'll lend it to em. This has the benefit of talking to them at least three times about it, firstly when you say the above, the next day when you bring the album in and give it to her, and again when she gives it back to you. A social life helps, try and get out, as a guy its perfectly fine to go into pubs on your own and sit at the bar with a beer, people WILL talk to you and within a few trips to the same pub you'll become a familiar face and all the regulars will know you and talk to you. Dont be afraid, their only people! You must try n make em laugh, your lack of confidence will stop you doing this, but dont worry about sounding like a twat, take the micky out of em in a cheeky way, they'll laugh believe me. Your biggest problem, like most people in your situation, is fear. Fear of looking stupid, fear of rejection, fear of no-one listening, simple fear. You gotta let go of the fear, otherwise youll be commited to a life sentance of never feeling free to do what you want. You want to talk to these girls, but the fear stops you, get past the fear and the results will amaze you.

Depends on the kind of relationship you have, if he's a bit of a soppy guy (thats not a bad thing by the way) then send him a piece of clothing that smells of you or something he knows you really like thats personal to you. If he's not the soppy sort then he'd proberbly like something a bit more practical, if he has a playstation or something send him a game he wants, or some guy gadget that you know he likes.

Hey, she is definitely ringing your bell buddy. I dont know why you want to fight it, maybe your scared or think shes to good for you, dont be, you have nothing to lose by talking to her or asking her out, fear prevents us doing so much, walk past the fear, leave it behind, absorb what you feel for this girl and go for it. Good luck.

Hey, well I'd say him laughing isnt much of a clue, but what he says about his friends knowing what to say definitely is. And the two together should be ringing bells. I can only go on what you've told us but I would say he's not faithful to you. If he really loved you cared for you he would put your mind at ease instead of playing games with your feelings. Remember 2 can play the game, dont just sit thinking about what he's upto, get out meet guys and have some fun, control your own life, dont let him control it for you. Good luck

Sorry buddy but I'd say she's gone. Its gonna hurt like **** for a bit but you'll soon find someone else who you'll love. No point toppin yourself over it, just get down the pub and get lashed with your mates, the pain will fade over a few weeks.

One of two things is going on here: 1. She REALLY likes you and is just to unsure of herself to do anything about it, so you will have to make all the running. Maybe give her your number and tell her to call you when shes free if she fancies going out sometime, no pressure and its up to her. 2. She's quite simply a freak and you should stay well clear. She'll either boil your dog or screw your head up so bad you wont know what year it is let alone what day it is! Just what I think! Good luck.

Well, i really hope she wants to say yes, thats a lot of pressure on her if she isnt sure!

Dont want to dampen the mood, but you should be certain she will say yes if you are going to make a big production of it. Lots effort and more importantly people around that she knows and loves will put her under pressure to yes even if she isnt sure, this is unfair. If you are not absolutly certain she will say yes you should limit the people around or even do it alone, only this way will she give her true answer and wont just say yes cos she thinks she has too. Hope this makes sense. Good luck.

Hi Guys, Ok, i'll give you the background and maybe you can help me understand what to make of it. Met a girl only a few weeks ago in the pub, got on well and she gave me her number. I called her the next day (Saturday) and asked if she wanted to go out Sunday, she said yes, we went out and had a good time. In the middle of the following week I texted her to see how she was and if she would like to go out again. She said she would be down the pub again with some friends (who I know too, thats how we got talking) on Friday but didnt say anything about seeing me specifically. Anyway met her down there on Friday, sat together all night, got on well again, walked her home and held hands all the way. Next day, I texted her to see what she was doing, I told her I was in the pub, she said she was going to. Sure enough she appeared, again we sat together all night, walked her home holding hands again, she gave me a little kiss before she went in too. I told her I'd call her the next day for a chat. Called her the next day, she seemed good and I think she wanted to do something in the day, but I had other plans (though I really wanted to break them to see her), I told her if she was free later to text me and we could meet up. Sadly she had to babysit (she's an aupair) so couldnt see me. I texted her to see if I could see her in the week and she said she has to work till 9pm and she'd be up the pub with her friends again on Friday (this Friday coming) and I could see her then If I wanted. Well, I dont understand, we got on really well but she dont want to see me in the week, only when she happens to be going out with her friends anyway. So what do I make of it, i really want to contact her before friday but I know i shouldnt in case I start the whole looking desperate and pushing her away thing. I will go to the pub on Friday and I know that if I let it happen we will sit together all night and all the rest of like before. But I really REALLY like her now and want to see her more, whats going on? Does she like me, is she just playing? Does she have a boyfriend back in her own country? Should I be honest and tell her how I feel or just not go to the pub, or not hang around her at the pub and see if she comes to me? HELP!

Hi dream, Well, my guess is you are starting to see the real him im afraid. It is very difficult to accept your partner being in contact with someone who you know fancies them, imagine if he was texting a girl that you know fancied him, you wouldnt be happy either right? I would guess he is just starting to show who he really is, it takes time for the real person to appear in a relationship and maybe his time has come. If you stay together or break up will depend on how far he lets his behaviour go, in my experince it will only worsen im afraid, though if he can control it then you'll have a fighting chance. All you can do is assure him you love him and that he can trust you and he will behave how he will behave, its up to you whether you put up with it. Good luck.

Just my opinion but i'd go straight for the hyno, I had this therapy about 7 years ago, partly for the same reason as you and partly for a lack of confidence (though they are both interealted). I had 6 sessions and at the end of them I was a changed man, I was no longer jealous and in fact had so much confidence I proberbly went to far and ended up not worrying about my girlfriend at all! It proberbly depends on your personality as to how successful it is, but it worked wonders for me. Good luck

I think you need to tell him never to contact you again. If he cant take it or carrys on contacting you, you have to absolutly bury him, call the police and get a court order preventing him from contacting you. All the time you carry on talking to him you are letting him believe there is a chance you will get back together, drop all contact dead. Its gonna be hard but better for both of you in the long run. Good luck.

Hey buddy, Firstly I used to be just like you, so I know how you feel. Gyms, healthy protien diets and stuff aint gonna help you cos you either wont be able to afford it or you will get found out doing it (which you dont want from the sound of it due to the embaressment). If you have a manual labour job it will be harder, if you dont do much physical activity it will be much quicker. Basically follow these ideas, dont give in and in a month you'll notice the difference: 1. Obviously eat lots, and I dont mean nice lean meats or anything, I mean eat absolutly everything in sight. Eat big peanut butter sandwhiches, lots of bread, potatoes if you can, as much meat as possible (it dosnet matter what it is, burgers, sausages etc), just eat all the time. 2. Do what ever muscle exercises you can, you dont need to be in a gym. Do pushups, situps, find something heavy and lift it everyday for half an hour, your bed, a car wheel, an old bike, whatever, just lift things in lots of different ways so you work you legs, back, arms, and chest. You wont be "cut" from doing this and I expect everybody on here to bang on about how unhealthy it is but they dont understand what your getting at, you are too young to worry about eating lots of rubbish for a couple of years, you can eat healthy later! Just eat everything and lift something and you'll be 180lb before you know it! Dont just sit there, make a sandwhich NOW!

Hey buddy, My advice is to just drop it all starting right now, this will be the hardest thing you'll ever have to do Im sure but you have to do it, you said yourself all of your efforts are pushing her further away and this is exactly what is happening, you have to stop now. Dont call, dont write, dont do anything, just leave her entierly alone. If she really cares for you then she will contact you sooner or later, but you must leave her alone. If she dosent contact you after a few months then Im sorry but the truth is she dosent want to be friends (or anything else) and you will have to accept that and move on. Just leave her be and enjoy your own life. Good luck.

In my experince it depends on the type of woman in question, some really dont see having male friends as any kind of issue (as they shoudnt), others will only have such male friends if they have an angle for doing so. Does she talk about her boyfriend all the time, or does she avoid talking about him? This is a very strong indicator of thier relationship and her intentions towards you, if she sees you only as a friend and she is happy with her boyfriend she will almost certainly talk about him to you. On the other hand if she says nothing about him then I reckon you can assume she either isnt happy with her boyfriend or likes you more than shes letting on (or both!). Just play it cool, stay her friend and when it all goes belly up with her boyfriend (which I reckon it will), stand by her and when you think shes ready for it, tell her how you feel. Good luck.

Well, from my admitedly "guys" point of view, I suggest you act like a porn star for 2 days, I dont mean constantly at it, but just surprise every now and then by doing something pornstar'ish. Out for a walk? Push him against a tree, drop to your knees and do the business. In a restaurant? Sit close, unzip him and give him a helping hand, that kinda thing, trust me as a bloke he will never forget the 2 days for the rest of his life! Just go for it when you think he'll least expect it. I know this may sound crude but if you only got 2 days and you want him to remember them then its the only way to go, buying gifts or anything like that just aint gonna cut it! Good luck!

Hi, A quick bit about me so you know im qualified to talk about it ;-) I was with my girlfriend for 8 years, the last couple of years were pretty strange and we proberbly should have ended it then, but I think we were both absolutly scared witless at the thought of being alone, we were like each others lifeline. Anyway, we split, and 6 months later we are both fine, we are not alone, we have friends and family and have met new people. So my advice is this, get the hell outta there, it aint gonna work and you obviously know it. I have been there and its the toughest thing you'll ever do, but afterwards you'll realise you are not alone, you will meet new people who you will get on better with, they are out there and waiting for you, I promise. Have the strength, close your eyes and feel the power in yourself to do it, keep telling yourself you are strong. In the future when you look back you'll wonder what you were ever worried about. Go for it.

Hi buddy, I had the same problem till I realised that women in clubs expect to be hit on and proberbly tell 10-20 guys a night to get lost, so its nothing personal! Nobody can make you approach a girl, its upto you to do it, but i guarentee that if you approach 20 women in a club at least one will talk to you and proberbly more, i've realised rejection is part of life and you just gotta live wid it! Next time dont mess about, as soon as you see a girl you like take a deep breath and go say Hi, worst is she tells you to get lost, best is, well you can figure that out for yourself eh!