phil1981UK

Dude... ive seen a few bushes in my time and it depends on the woman in question if she needs to shave, i would say if its going on to her thighs than definatly a little trimming is in order, does she ever wear a swim suit... that must be an interesting sight... Then again if she aint gonna do it for ya, and you dont like it, then you gonna have a problem eh.... It depends on the view you take, if she loves you enough then she would do it, but if you loved her enough you wouldnt care... tough one.

Hi, My girlfriend just went to stay at some student rooms for a while, today was her first day. So i call her up about an hour ago and she sounds all funny and is laughing and she didnt sound like she normally does, she didnt tell me she loved me till i asked her (she normally does this a lot) and kept on gigalling through the conversation. I ask her if she was drunk, she said no, I asked her why she was sounding strange and not like she normally does, she said she is around new people and dosent feel relaxed... but all the time she was relaxed enough to keep laughing at something... Now i call her and there is no answer on her phone... so right now she is somewhere else out of her room and left her phone behind... arrrgghhhh i am going crazy with i guess jealousy and wondering what she is doing.... This is her first night there and she has never left her phone before, i have alwasy been able to talk to her. Bu tnow it just rings ad goes to answer phone so she is somewhere else in the student rooms... at 1am in the morning.... I dont know what i expect anyone to say, im just sitting here right now going crazy thinking about it...

Ok i will try to cut to the chase... Have girlfriend, she from poland i from england, everything going ok except for a few things on my side (my insecurities?) She has dropped hints about when she was involved in some kind of strip card game and ended up naked, but never told me the whole story, i have a great imagination and it has filled in the gaps for me, but is this a common thing... i never did it... but i havent been a saint either... so why am i thinking about it so much? And the big thing... well for me... she has two brothers... so there are three of them and they are all around the same age..., my gf is 23 and her and her 2 brotheres were all born within 3 yesrs of each other. So she has told me they are very close... mmm but now i have thoughts they are too close... know what i mean? When she was with me she had a SMS from one of them tellling her they wish she had left her hand behind... and that his hand was hurting from too much masturbation on that day!!! Mmmm so ok, and then tonight i call her to talk... she tells me first she is in bed and then it emerges she is in her brothers bedroom watching a film... in bed with her 2 brothers watching a film...mmmm ok. So i carefully get to asking what she is wearing, she tells me she is wearing her robe... i know she wears nothing else when she is wearing a robe... mmm and in bed with her 2 brothers watching a film... Am i paranoid or what.. i dont know!!! Can brothers and sisters be this close without anything "weird" Any advice greatly appreciated!!! Thanks

Thanks for your reply. In answer to your questions, i am anly asking her to come here for a few months to see if we can work, i am not blind to the fact that if we live together it could all be different and we might not be so keen on each other, i just want some time together to find out. She finishes work there in January, and then goes back to poland, then she is talking about going to australia next year... so maybe she still will not come here... mmm... maybe she is trying to tell me something... She loves me i know this, but she has commitment issues, this is a big thing for her to come and live with me for a few months. I guess all i can do is try.

Hi, I have posted previously about my situation, but heres a quick summary. My girlfriend is in miami working on a cruise ship, i am going to see her tomorrow for a week, i went to see her 7 weeks ago as well. We have been seeing each other for a year. She is polish and i am english living in England. I have visited poland 3 times this year and miami twice on the ship to see her. I have had enough of waiting 2 months to see her for one week. She has never done anything to see me. I want her to leave the ship and come back to england to live with me for a while. Maybe i want her to prove her love for me. Is it unreasonable for me to ask her to leave the ship and come to england to see if we really have something? Do i have a right to ask her this? If she says no it will be hard for me and I may have to break up with her, the time away from her is too hard. I need to be true to myself and what i want from her yes? And if she isnt prepared to do it then I should get rid of her? If she really loved me enough and cared for me enough she would do it? Is this a reasonable thing to ask of her? I am going insane without her. HELP!

I'll try and keep this short, but i wont ;-) My girlfriend is working on a cruise ship in the caribbean, i am in england. She is very friendly to everybody, guys and girls and this is fine by me, i am not a jealous kind of guy, but I am not stupid either!!! We have been together for a year, and she left in June to work on the ship. I went to see her on the ship about 6 weeks ago, and we had a great time and i met some of the people she works with. She told me how most people on the ship have boyfriends and girlfriends on the ship to, even if they have girlfriends or wives etc at home, i was pretty shocked at this and it did make me wonder how many guys on the ship would try and make her there on board girlfriend, but i trust her and so was not too concerned. Anyhow one of the guys I met who she is friends with seems to have been spending a lot of time with her recently, she tells me how they go and do things together when they have free time, and then she told me that he wanted to do an overnight stay at a hotel instead of going back to the ship last monday night and go and see a late night film with her, they couldnt do this because they had to go back on the ship becasue it was leaving port, but the fact is he was willing to miss the boat (and maybe lose his job) so he could do and "overnight stay" with my girlfriend!!! My girlfriend is very friendly and she takes people at face value and this means she is often blind to there true motives... this overnight stay thing didnt really register with her as being anything other than a friendly offer, being a man i know exactly what this guy is up to, and he is playing on her nievety to try and get it. She has spoken many times about many guys and I have never had reason to worry, I trust her and dont think she would do anything, but she is easily influenced and could get into a position, and with the right words I know some guy could work her, she is a sucker for heartbreaking stories and all that, if he goes down this angle, she might do something out of sympathy. Thing is I dont want to bring it up so obviously because she will just say i am being stupid and he is just a friend, which as far as she is concerned is exaclty what he is, but to him it is obviously something very different, or at least he wants it to be and she cant see it. So question is, how do I try and make her realise what this guy is up to without sounding like a jeolous idiot, i am not jealous, i just want her to see he is trying to play her and she should spend less time with him. Any advice is much appreciated. Thank you.

I dont believe what will be will be, i believe you make things happen, you can make the difference between things going your way or not, dont leave it up to mystical forces, take action. What action, well i dont like the word but "cunning" i spose covers it, if she needs space, take action to give her space, she'll think youve accepted it and may end up wanting you back, you took action you win. Never leave anything up to "if we are meant to be together we will be", if she truly dosent want you, then there is nothing you can do and you must accept it. If she is still interested then take the right action and she will be yours... no question. Good luck dude, dont sit back and hope, be fierce in your quest ;-)))

ahahah hehehe hehe hahah, sorry couldnt help that... its the same as normal except somewhere in there another person has to fit... use your imagination!!!

I replied to your original post with my thoughts that didnt really go along with everyone else's, and im afraid to say I gotta do it again!!! This is getting seriously out of hand dude, friends is one thing, it seems this is something else. Ok there is a slim chance that nothing is going on (and i expect everyone else to tell you that nothing is proberbly going on just to make you feel better), but this is real life dude, with a real man and a real woman spending a whole lot of real time together in real situations... it dont take a genius to guess there is a good chance there is more to this than she is letting on. OK, she may be telling the truth but i dont know, are you still living away from her or are you living near her now? If you are near her than she should be spending this time with you! If your away from her than keep your guard up and be prepared for the worst. Ok so what to do about it, well if you want to keep her, you cant accuse her anymore, this just pushes her towards him, be cool and make it clear you trust her (even if you dont). When you know for sure either way then you can take action. If you dont want her or are sure she is playing you then you gotta row her out fella, dont argue, just tell her you cant handle the situation (which is true) and you want out of the relationship, if she wants you she will try to stay together, if she dont care shell just accept it and you know she was most likely playing you. Good luck!

Hello, not really asking for advice as much as want to just moan to someone about my life right now. I am in the mood for writing a lot so go elsewhere now unless you want to die of boredom. I met my girlfriend in October last year while she was working in England (where i live), she is from poland and went back in December sop we had a great couple of months together, when she went home she wasnt to keen on keeping things going saying she need to be free, I talked her I would be at a certain place at a certain date and time in poland and I wanted to see her there, but I said it was up to her. I went to the place in february and she showed up, we spent a great couple of days together, but again she didnt want to continue, again I talked her round to just seeing how we go. Then I went to see her again in April, I surprised her this time, I just went to poland and told her i was there, she came to see me and we had a good time. But she still wasnt sure about keeping it going (a pattern eh) Around this time she was also saying how she was bored at home and needed to do something, that something turned out to be going to work on a cruise ship in miami for 6 or 7 months from June. So I went to see her just before she left for miami and we had a good time again, but the same old story, she wasnt sure about keeping it going. And so she left, I told her I would go see her on the ship for a week in early august (2 weeks ago), and she spent all the time she wasnt working with me and we had a great week together. But again she wanted to break up, but couldnt quite do it. Just for the record she always tells me she loves me and I make her so happy, despite the fact she wants to break up all the time, the reason she says she wants to break up is cos she is scared of her feelings and not being in control of them, i try to understand but it is hard, i wonder if she just wants to be free more than she loves me. I came back from seeing her a week ago and am missing her like mad, also I am worried now she will find someone else on the ship and get into a relationship (even if only a brief one), she told me lots of stories about crew members having partners on board as well as at home having partners or wives. And she is very friendly and very attractive and it was clear all the guys on the ship were after her to be thier "on board" girl friend. Since I got back this has been worrying me a lot as she is friends with many guys on there and it is obvious many of them want her for themselves even though they are playing as friends. They have crew parties and go clubbing all together and things, i just feel some guy will work her aorund and get close to her and she will just go with it. So now i am back in england again, alone and missing her like mad, i am meant to be going to see her on the ship again in 6 weeks time, but i am so worried about losing her and her doing something with someone on the ship, its drin=ving me nuts, i hardly sleep or eat and think about it ALL the time. I dont know what to do, if you have read this far maybe you can give me something, but i really dont want to lose her so I dont think i can break up with her, maybe i just need to know how to cope, I know i should keep busy but I cant, i just sit and think about it, even if I try to do something else it dosent last. I hate this situation, i just want her with me. Thanks for listening.

For what its worth i am in the same situation, I want her to be with me and she isnt, i miss her and I am more unhappy than I have ever been, lifes a real bitc*. All I can say is good luck and I hope it works out for you, all we can do is hold on to hope.

Personally i like nothing better than settling down there for a few hours... heh, i love giving my gf oral... but then maybe im a dirty Bastar*!!!

Heh, as ever my opinion is at odds with everyone else's so im proberbly wrong, but for what its worth i'd say you always need to be realistic in these situations about what might be going on. I dont wanna scare you but im not going to tell you its all proberbly OK and theres nothing happening, life is never that simple! When two people get close and get on well with each other then there is always potential for an intimate relationship to begin rather than simply a platonic one, think how couples get together, they meet they spend time together, they fall in love and they be together, the line between the two types of relationship is very VERY thin!!! Your in a tough situation becuase if you ask her if something is going on she will think you dont trust her, on the flip side if you dont ask her you eat yourself up with thinking about it. I have the learnt the hard way to expect nothing from anyone, yes there are good people out there but never be so nieve as to think everything is OK. Personally these days I almost accept things happen (I have done it myself). If your relationship is truly strong you will be OK, if there is a problem you wont make it, its that simple, what ever she does ultimately is irrelivent because you cant do anything about it, she'll either be yours or she wont. When you move there everything will become clear, you will know pretty fast if she is cool on you and hot on this other guy. I want to say everything is most likely ok, but im realistic and know very well how humans (even good ones) work, if I were you I would just think she is yours until you know otherwise, but dont ever blindfold yourself to the how things work in the real world. Good luck

Great was life, carefree was life, what happened to those days. Now it seems only unhappiness surrounds me, embraces me and crushes me with a force for which I have no armour. I am told things improve with time, things get better and life goes on, funny how hard it is to see these things through the wall that has been built in front of my eyes. I am in a dark place now, my heart is growing cold, though i am not without hope in my life, as often is the case, there is someone with the power to engulf me with light if they wish to do so, for them all i can do is wait, for them I would give everything. The need to place such importance on one individual is a cruel side effect of being an emotional animal in this world. What ever lies ahead for me, I promise myself never to get into this hell again if happiness does not return, better a cold heart than a broken one.

Sorry but i have to disagree with most of the advice given here so far. Yes you need to break up with him, its clearly over, however DO NOT tell him you still love him, this will only confuse him more, make it clear all the feelings have gone and you no longer love him, if you give him a hint of hope he may cling to it and not be able to move on and this is not fair to him (and he needs to treated fairly dont you think), even if you do love him, you must tell him you dont. Secondly, I would tell him about this other guy (including that you have been sleeping with him), this will reinforce the fact it is over between you and he will be able to move on quicker and it may be easier for him to accept you have finished if he can maybe hate (wrong word but you know what i mean) you a little. Yes this all may make you sound like a bit of a biatch but I believe you should be thinking of making it as easy as possible for him to accept now you have made your disicion (and acted on it!), if you have any love for him this is the right thing to do. If you dont like him and want him to suffer, follow the other advice given here. Hope this makes sense Good luck (and to him, he will need it!)

I dont know if there is help, i expect everyone to just tell me to end it if i told you the details, but i cant end it so this would not help. The only thing I can do is hang in and hope it all works out, in truth the chances are less than 10% and i know it, i just cant accept it. I wish I was stronger than my love for this girl, but when it comes to what i feel for her I am feable, i shrink in her presense and she warms my heart. I guess I just have to wait for the end, i feel it will be soon, i will need you guys then i think. Thanks for listening.

Long distance relationships suck, sorry just having a bad day and venting... damn these circumstances, damn this life and damn my feelings... I just wish it was easy. Thank you.

Hi Guys, dunno if anyone has experinced this themselves or has been in a relationship with someone who felt like this, but basically my girlfriend says she is scared of what she feels for me because she is not in control (of her fellings). She loves me and i make her happy (and vica versa), but it dosent stop her fear (maybe of losing her freedom), she says when i talk about where I want our relationship to go she gets scared and feels like running away... but so far she hasnt, i think her feelings are just enough to keep her hanging on to it at the moment, but i dont know for how long. On many occasions she has talked about breaking up because she is so scared... but she still hasnt, she says why cant she just be "crazy in love" instead of being scared, but she has a great fear in her gut, which despite her feelings for me, is close to making her end it. Has anyone else felt scared like this even though you love someone a great deal? Or does anyone have any opinions on what might be going on in her head? I love her and dont want to lose her, i never put her under any pressure, i let her do whatever she wants so she is not sufficated in anyway. She is just scared of any commitment i think because her feelings are out of her control and she dosent like it, but i dont know. Opinions appreciated. Thanks

mmmm define long distance... hows this... I live in England, my girlfriend is from Poland but currently working in miami... 4500 miles away... i get to see her once every 2 months for a week at the moment, this will continue at least until January... maybe longer... Long distance, i dont think it can get much longer, certainly in time apart before seeing each other, 2 month gaps feel like lifetimes, its not fun, but when were together it makes up for it and someday we may be together if we make it through, we shall see eh. If the feelings are strong enough and both people are realistic the distance makes no difference. Good luck to all the ldr's!

I agree, its a non issue, if you find a guy you love and you want to go for it then just do it. My girlfriend is 22, and we had sex for the first time a few weeks ago after being together for a year, i could tell from the first few times we did it that she hadnt had much (if any) experience, turns out she didnt... she was a virgin, but it was never an issue so she never mentioned it before, she just felt the time was right and the guy was right (lucky me ;-). The only reason she told me was cos it was clear she had little experince and i think she wanted to make me understand the reasons why she ummm had trouble with some things Anyhow if it feels right go for it, now were at it like rabbits and she is loving every minute of it... heh! Good luck!

Its a total communication problem dude. Just talk to her about where she feels you stand together, you must talk to her and stop trying to second guess what she is thinking. If you cant talk to her, then just forget the whole thing and move on or youll drive yourself nuts trying to work it out!!! Good luck!

Man oh man, what a situation your in eh! Well, is not for me to say, but man why did you let your wife go with another bloke!!!! You may have been her first, but she new that and accepted that when she married you dude, now she wants her cake, she wants to eat it, then she wants seconds! I cant understand why you would let her do that if you love her as much as you say you do!!! Anyway, what to do, well my advice is to row her out man, from what you say I think she is playing you for a total mug, she knows your a push over and will put up with whatever she wants, so she gets her nice safe home life AND gets laid by anyone she wants and you dont do anything about it! Its this simple man, if she really loved you she would not be doing this, no question, so you need to face up to the fact that she dont love you know more, kick her out and get yourself a woman that will love you, respect you and not want to go round playing hide the sausage with other guys! Wheres your pride man, take control, shes playing you and your letting her do it! I know you love her, but shes crossed the line buddy, love or not, you need to bin her. Good luck whatever you decide.

Hi, Communication is tough in an LDR, i am in the same situation as you, I live in the UK and my gf is polish and currently lives in Poland. We try to make it work but its tough when you are not directly involved in each others lives everyday, email, text messages and the occasional phone call are you can have and you need to make the most of them. However people are different and have different levels of need on the contact front, i am fortunate that my gf is happy with contact every few days rather than 10 times a day, and this suits us both. You need to find common ground on your communication otherwise you will be in trouble! And you'll be together in 5 months so its not to bad, i cant be with my gf for at least 18 months and only get to see each other every 3 or 4 months, its tough but possible, just communicate as best you can. Dont worry that he dosent reply to your mails and things as long as he dosent drop contact all together, guys (myself included) seem to need less contact but still believe in the relationship. Good luck, youll be together soon and it'll all be cool.

Just my opinion dude but I would be careful as hell with this one, especially if you love her so much. First potential problem, she ends up resenting you for doing it cos whilst it was a good fantasy in her head, the reality may be a whole different matter. Probable result: End of relationship. Secondly, as you mentioned, it could be to give herself a reason to be with another guy, i think this reason holds a lot of water as you were both virgins, maybe now shes wondering what another guy would be like and a good way for her to find out is by letting you go for it with another girl! Probable result: You have to let her do it cos she let you, then you cant handle it, end of relationship. Third, you have a great time, want more of it, she dosent want you to but you cant stop yourself. Probable result: End of relationship. Of course you may both have a great time, chalk it up to experince and both move on together, but it is massivly unlikely that there wont be some kind of negative repercussion from doing this, it just depends what it is and how bad it is. All that aside, if you do go for it, have a great time ;-)

Err, if understand what you are saying, i think your attitude to this entire situation is completely wrong! He's your ex, you must move on, stop thinking about getting him back and start getting on with your own life, dont contact him at all, just start living your own life, seeing other guys and enjoying yourself. If he comes back sometime then fine, but dont wait for him, you'll destroy yourself! Move on. Nuff said.