phil1981UK
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Everything posted by phil1981UK
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Phew, well you got it bad eh! First things first, you say she knows how you feel about her, but you HAVE to know how she feels about you before you can make any decisions here. Also I dont how old you are, if your under 18 then my advice would be to sit tight and try and stay in contact with her when she goes and in time maybe you can be together. If your older then things are different. If you find out she likes you too, then hell man, you gotta get on that bus and go with her! Your own sense of reality will be telling you not to as well as people around you, but dont listen to any of it. Let me tell you something, a long time ago I was in the same situation, I loved a girl more than life itself, she had to move, everything and everyone told me to forget her and move on rather than blowing out everything I knew and going with her. I listened to them and didnt go, I quickly realised it was a mistake but it was too late, after that I promised myself I will never let something like that slip by me again. remember, you get one life buddy, and you dont know how many times in it you gonna feel what you feel for this girl, so you MUST go for it, whatever the sacrifices and whatever it takes. Be true to yourself.
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Glad you found someone you like, sorry its not 100%! Listen, if your both shy then I bet he is thinking exaclty the same things you are! One of you has to move things on, it will be hard, but it has to be done. Next time your out and your walking along, just take hold of his hand yourself, you dont have to wait for him to do it, chances are if hes that shy he never will! Just go for it, I bet he'll let out the biggest sigh of relief that finally one of you has finally broken the holding hands barrier at least! The same applies for anything else, just go for it when you think the time is right, just kiss him out of the blue, it dosent matter where you are, just do it, it will take guts but it'll break down the barriers between you in an instant and your relationship will move to a whole new exciting level. Go for it, he's waiting for you to, I promise. Good luck
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don't know what she is thinking...very confused
phil1981UK replied to Tallo's topic in Dating Advice
Hey buddy, OK, you known her a few weeks, but you like her a lot already right? Well, in that case my advice is to not piss about and tell her the score, I dont mean blurt a load of crap about how much you like her, just confront her about what shes thinking and if shes see's the two of you making any further progress in a relationship. You have nothing to lose as right now you have nothing anyway right? Go find out the truth and dont take any excuses from her, if she hits you with them then your better off without her! Good luck. -
Depends what you want, if you want her back then all you can do is hang on in there and hope she changes her mind and wants you back. Try dating some other women if you can, this may give her a jolt that you really are the one for her, dont be her puppy waiting for her to come back to you, make her realise she could lose you. Try and relax about the whole thing, if its gonna work out then it will. Force yourself to eat and get to the docs for some sleeping tablets if you havent slept for more than a few days otherwise you health is gonna suffer. Good luck and be strong.
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Hey man, tough break. You already know what you should do, get out and find someone else, dont matter to much at the minute that you find someone you really like, just someone to break the cycle. It's tough not to contact an ex that you still like, but you gotta be strong, contacting her will do you no favours. You say your shy, well you cant be THAT shy otherwise you wouldnt have even an ex girlfriend right? Just hang with your buddies, talk to girls and relax, getting over someone is hard, but going out with other girls will help the memories and feelings of your ex fade a lot quicker and allow you to move on to what will hopefully be a more successful relationship in the future. I've been in the same boat and im a bit shy too, but I moved on and life is good now with a new girl, its out there mate just keep looking. Good luck.
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You dont say much about how you behave around them. I would guess if there being scared off that you might be appearing a bit clingy or desperate? If so you just need to relax, try not to fall for guys you like in a big way so fast, take it easy, have fun with them and keep it light hearted for a while, they will like you more for it. At 18 you really dont need to panic, just enjoy yourself, your obviously attractive cos you say they go for your looks, so that gives you a head start, then all you have to do is be chill and you'll have a fella you like in no time. Good luck
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Simple choices, 1. If you want her back, ignore her completely for a while, she be yours again within a few months. 2. If you dont want her, come on to her real strong and she run off. Nuff said.
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You aint gonna learn what women want cos there all different and all look for different things. As for the last post above I can tell you looks dont mean nothing at all, I am by no means a good lucking guy, just average, but my gf is "hot", my mates just dont understand how I got her (and neither do I half the time!), but I obviously do something for her and the fact im no tom cruise dont matter at all. If you can be confident but not arrogant, caring but not a drip, be strong when the chips are down you'll do OK, and there is no particular trait that will ever beat the simple fact that you do "something" for a particular girl, even if your average and shes hot. All you can do is be yourself and you will eventually come accross a girl that thinks your the man, and if your real lucky she'll be a looker too!
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Sounds like a relationship i was in for a long time (8 feckin years). At first she was always making me jealous, in the end, just like you I felt nothing, my love for her went out the window, and no matter what she did I never felt anything. Suffice to say we broke up, sadly not soon enough, we wasted a lot of years sticking with it for no real reason. My advice if you aint feeling nothing you gotta get out, dont waste time, my life now is great, I have a girl I do have feelings for (woohoo) and if I knew things could be this good I would have ended my last relationship a lot earlier! Bail out fella, and get the feeling back!
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Hi, glad to hear you met someone you like, sorry to hear you have a problem with it! Listen, if it was the other way around it wouldnt be a problem, you really should stop worrying about doing the right or wrong thing and do what you FEEL. He sounds like a mature kinda guy and if you get on so well stop fighting it and get together for feck sake. If you dont cos of this or that reason you will regret it big time. Call him up make a date and stop making excuses, lifes to friggin short to piss about, if you like each other go for it, screw anyone who dont approve! Go get him!
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You are having a laugh right? Hes 21 and your 17! Thats not an age gap! Thats perfectly normal, trust me that will not be a problem for him! Im 31 and my girl's 22 and it dont bother me or her so dont let it worry you! Go have a good time!
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Sorry buddy, but it sounds like a case of 'having cake and eat it'. I think your right when you say shes trying to keep you in reserve, how can she expect to go dating guys and puts you off doing the same thing, its wrong man. What you need to do is go on these dates, ignore what she says, if she gives you grief just say shes getting on with her life and so are you. The more dates you go on with other girls the more shes gonna think shes gonna lose you, then as if by magic, you will become the one she wants, the things she says are wrong with you are excuses, she likes you, you just need to make her realise it by dating some other women. She come knocking on your door pretty quick when she thinks you might have someone else, believe it! Good luck man, and be strong.
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Hi Guys, Been seeing a girl for a few months, on and off, but I've been wanting to make it something a bit more stable, I dont think we are boyfriend/girlfriend yet, but then when do you know! We have kissed a lot but recently she has felt more distant. The last time I saw her she said that I never say anything, now im a bit of a ask questions and listen kinda guy rather than talking about things myself, i never really know what to talk about myself. I see my friends with thier girls and they chat and talk on the phone everyday and they seem to be really relaxed about it all, I just think about it all to much and wonder if I should/shouldnt call, and if I do what do I talk about, its driving me nuts, I dont feel like im being relaxed or myself, im just analysing everything before it happens. How can I stop thinking/worrying about calling her and what im going to say and just relax and call her and chat about stuff naturally, I feel like a robot instead of a human being! Any advice appreciated!
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my girl frend broke up with me need some help
phil1981UK replied to badgers4's topic in Breaking Up Advice
Hey buddy, sorry to hear you've hit a wall. Sounds like shes had enough and is trying to let you down gently. The only thing you can do is leave her be, dont contact her in anyway, give her total space, if you contact her you'll just push her further away. This is the only way she might come back to you, if she dont come back after a few months you just gonna have to move on with your life, tough but true. Fight the urge to contact her and you stand the best chance of getting her back. -
What are the chances we will get back together.
phil1981UK replied to cawls's topic in Getting Back Together
Sounds like shes already it laid it on the line fella, she just dont want you and you gotta accept it, if you dont you'll spend ages tearing yourself up about it. She has made it clear there is no chance of getting back together so forget that, all you can do now is move on, its a cliche, but time will make it easier, youll start to look at other girls, then when you feel ready you start dating again too. I was in an 8 year relationship, when all of a sudden, she was gone! What was the most difficult to deal with was the being alone thing and missing all the things that you shared together, from watching certain tv programmes to what you did at the weekend, I couldnt imagine what I was going to with my time without her. Well that was a few months ago and now I have more friends then ever, a better social life, Im learning new things and have a new girl. The bottom line is, grieve for a few weeks, then start to build your own life, get your own interests, chuck away all the CD's that you shared and get new ones that have no meaning to your relationship, take the chance to do stuff you always wanted to but never have. Get up, get out and get busy, trust me, you will feel more alive then you ever have before. Good luck. -
She dont know she's screwing my head up...
phil1981UK replied to phil1981UK's topic in Relationship Advice
Err, well thanks guys, now i'm more confused then I was to start with! Basically, its been a month we been out maybe a dozen times, we have kissed, but I felt the last time we went out that she was a little distant, now I dont whether that was me just being paranoid or if I was right. I have been in many relationships, am never desperate and have never felt like I do right now. After the last date I felt like I may be losing her, this may well be adding to my strong feelings, I dont know. As for how I feel about how its going, I would say not as well as it was a few dates ago, so maybe I just want to go for broke, but i dont know. Does this help? Please dont fight over the whole girl/guy debate, just give me your honest opinions and why! Thanks for your help so far. -
Hey buddy, Well you been going out 2 months and havent been intimate for 6 weeks! Well maths aint my strong point but given those times Id say you didnt turn out to be the guy she thought you might be once she got involved with you. Sounds to me like you need to lay it on the line to her, you dont know what is going on and you need to know. Its hard but you have to pressure her to get the truth from her, could be she just dosent want to hurt you and is trying to let you down gently, so get some answers or you could end up with more hurt in the future if she has lost interest and just cant tell you. 15 minutes away and seeing her 1 day a week sounds very unstable to me, being busy is one thing but If she wanted to Im certain she could see you more than that, another sign she may have had enough. Sorry to be so pessimistic but that is my take on your situation, i hope im wrong. Good luck.
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Ok, here goes, been seeing a girl for about a month, I really fallen for her but I have no idea what she is thinking, she is very self assured and has not told me anything about what she feels about me, and neither have I to her. All the signals I get from her are very confusing, sometimes I think she likes me other times I really feel unsure about her feelings! Things is, I cant stop thinking about her, my guts are turning all day long, I cant eat or sleep, my head is really ***ed! I'm never normally like this, im normally confident and self assured myself but she has had an effect like never before, and im no stranger to relationships either so its not inexperince or desperation. I shrink in her presense. I shake when im around her, I got it bad right? My question really is that I know I shouldnt go on like this as it aint good right! So even though its only been a month is it to early for me to ask her how she feels? Should I tell her how I feel and see what she says? Any help appreciated as im gonna explode soon! Thanks
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HELP!! I am trying to figure out if she likes me or not?
phil1981UK replied to lrw301jl's topic in Dating Advice
Hi buddy, Well, i can sympathise with your situation as I am in the same position myself. I would say she is definitly interested but proberbly needs time to sort her head out after the breakup. You havent really said how close you have got, if she hugs you and things like that then you then your doing well, if she dosent have any physical contact with you when your together then it could be just a friend thing to her. All you can do is keep being there for her, dont change anything about your behaviour as whatever your doing seems to be working cos she is calling you all the time. Just try and keep your head together (though this is difficult as I am finding out!) and make sure you dont over or under do things, a difficult balance to get and timing is everything, moving through the stages to a relationship requires good timing! Just hang in there, if its gonna be, it'll be. Good luck. -
Well then your decision is made, just make the most of your time together, when the time comes for it to end you will just have to deal with it then. Good luck.
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Hi Dream, sorry to hear your hitting problems, I know how much you love your guy. Well, you really are caught between a rock and a hard place eh, pressure of an arranged marriage if you dont get married yourself pretty soon and the guy you want to marry wants to wait 5 years! Obvious question, does he know you will be forced into an arranged marriage if you dont marry him? If he does know this and still wont marry you then im afraid you will not be marrying him, and maybe he dosent feel as much for you as you think as he is happy for you to go off and be forced into a marriage with another guy. If he dosent know it THEN TELL HIM NOW! If he still dont want to marry you then the same applies, he dont love you as much as you thought. You may have to face up to some hard reality here I think.
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Wats the best way to ask for a girls number URGENT
phil1981UK replied to rusty_boi's topic in Dating Advice
Like Dream says, check her out, if you get a smile, go talk to her. Chat for a bit about anything, most importantly dont hang around so long that the conversation dwindles to an embarresing silence cos you will have missed the opportunity, when you feel your running out of things to say just say to her it was nice talking to her and your gonna go and see what your friends are up to, just before you go though, hit her with it, just say "hey, listen we should hook up sometime, whats your number?", this will take balls because your not really asking her for the number, your telling her to give it you but the advantage is she will like your confidence in saying it this way and it'll be hard for her to say no. It wont work everytime, no method ever will, but it is certainly the most successful method I (and my mates) have ever used. Go forth and land those numbers fella. Good luck. -
I believe it does apply to girls in the same way, maybe not quite to the same degree because of the social position of a man compared to a woman, i.e in general men normally approach and ask out women and not visa versa, so the importance of some of the points are watered down for girls I think.
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Like I said girls: 'I fully expect women to pour scorn on this and harp on about how they want a nice guy' For 90% of women at least 70% of what is in that article applies, if you truly know yourselves then you'd know its true, if you think its crap then maybe you need to more honest with yourselves. Goodnight Vegas, drive home safely.
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Hey fellas, If your a nice guy and getting nowhere with the chicks, check this out, its a good insight into where your going wrong. I fully expect women to pour scorn on this and harp on about how they want a nice guy, but hey, you can make up your own mind from reading this and from your personal experince eh! arches.uga.edu/~adrianmc/nice.html