tuffguy247

Thanks Guys

Hey Guys Im really in need of some Help! I dont know how I can start this Post without letting you guys know about my story so here it is ...please read... link removed Update on the Latest: Its been 8 weeks since we have seen each other. Although, we have talked on the phone roughly 3 times in the past 2 weeks and she did call me twice and sent me a card on my Bday. I sent a Thank You letter to her and said all this nice stuff. Its been a couple of days and Im not really expecting her to call right away but I kinda was hopin she call me and say something about the thank u card. So the ball is in her court. Ok that is what happened so far... Guys Im just really confused on what I have to do as far as sittin her down and having the talk. I mean when we talk on the phone, its just about work and how everything else is...its Weird feeling talk. Which is normal I guess. But I know I have to talk to her cause im going crazy over here thinkin ..what is she thinkin"...Why is she doin this? I know i have to sit down and talk to her. But the thing is ...we havent talked about US since the break. And she asked for the break and its been like 2 months now..and she was kinda goin on the basis of that lets wait a month and see what happens....so Ive given her more time then she asked for...and Ive been really good too. I want to tell her how i feel about her and how Im still madly in love with her and I want her in my life ...more then a friend. I want to tell her all this stuff but im scared cause i dont want to scare her away ...cause we all know we all got this information all at once..our first reaction would be...I dont know. The circumstances are kinda still the same. We work soo much that we dont have time for anything. But guys i really want to make it work. I want to try to do things slower and not really rush back into things..But i want to be there for her. So i know I have to talk to her but what Im confused about ...How to go about it.... I def want to see her in person and do this cause we havent seen each other in 8 weeks and they might create a spark that i could use to my advantage...Do i write it all down and just read it to her....do I wait til weve hung out a couple of times and see where things go ..then talk....I think it would be too much if i just came out of the blue and said all this stuff..Dont you? Just another Side note: I just talked to a friend of mine who is best friends with my ex, and I told myself to not talk to her cause i feel like she would tell my ex everyting but of course i didnt listen to myself. And I asked her...Did you see something between me and Kimmie? (Mind you she hasnt been able to hang out with my ex casue she is soo busy but they talk on the phone a couple of times ..so im sure she knows whats goin on) She said There was Def something there. Yes, Love, IN Love, I dont know. I know she may not know exactly what my ex is thinkin about For some reason those WORDS stuck in my head... Just so LOST and without a clue Guys I need help... Please help PM or reply

Well Thanks for the Replies guys, After talkin to my friend and finding out the info... i just took the initutive to just call her cause I felt in a way it was my turn cause If I was goin to show her that I can care.. a simple call would help that. It was just that a SIMPLE convo...we talked for a half hour and it was really really good...I had to end it cause she kept talkin. We hadnt talked for 3 weeks so we kinda had alot to catch up on. So we ended it good and said we'd talk to each other later and that was that. The next day she had her day off and so i felt like Texting her..cause i forgot to say it when we were on the phone....Hope you are enjoyin ur day off, Have a good week ttyl...then she Texted me back..Thank you, Hope your having a good day at work HUN, talk to ya later. Guys this may not mean anything to u guys but she called me HUN. Im not gettin any ideas but I thought that was at least a good move. I know some of you would be against it. But like i said before she was frustrated cause I didnt sound like myself with her one the phone in the first couple of weeks of hte break up...BUT i changed that and went back to the way I had always talked to her and I think she saw that and liked that. I dont know. I thought it was progress. I dont know

Heres a little Update: Im assuming you guys know the story so- I found out from a friend( that ex works with and we are all good friends from colllege and they hang out alot) my ex is not only thinkin about things but she is kinda frustrated that when she talked to me on the phone it seemed like I didnt care. The only thing I can think of is that maybe Im being too fake when I talked to her..you know i was like a friend and not like all lovey dovey ..which she is used too. I was just being normal...like almost like she wanted me too. And i dont know if this is pre card era but she has to see that I care. And I did find out the reasons that she used for the breathier was in fact true...she was just overwhelmed and it wasnt cause of someone else. She isnt tryin to talk to anyone. So that has helped me soo much. The last thing I found out was that our friend...the one that my ex always hangs out with and talks too...Said it herself...She thinks we wil get back together. So that was reassuring. I think this so called Break was more of a breathier and it wasnt as bad as I made it out to be. This time is just soo overwhelming for both of us. I talked to my good friend last nite and I know what I have to do. I have to just step up and be like Listen this is how i feel...what are u feeling and are u willing to work on this new stint of our relationship. Well thats all i have to say for now. Thanks again for everything guys.

Heres a little Update: Im assuming you guys know the story so- I found out from a friend( that ex works with and we are all good friends from colllege and they hang out alot) my ex is not only thinkin about things but she is kinda frustrated that when she talked to me on the phone it seemed like I didnt care. The only thing I can think of is that maybe Im being too fake when I talked to her..you know i was like a friend and not like all lovey dovey ..which she is used too. I was just being normal...like almost like she wanted me too. And i dont know if this is pre card era but she has to see that I care. And I did find out the reasons that she used for the breathier was in fact true...she was just overwhelmed and it wasnt cause of someone else. She isnt tryin to talk to anyone. So that has helped me soo much. The last thing I found out was that our friend...the one that my ex always hangs out with and talks too...Said it herself...She thinks we wil get back together. So that was reassuring. I think this so called Break was more of a breathier and it wasnt as bad as I made it out to be. This time is just soo overwhelming for both of us. I talked to my good friend last nite and I know what I have to do. I have to just step up and be like Listen this is how i feel...what are u feeling and are u willing to work on this new stint of our relationship. Well thats all i have to say for now. Thanks again for everything guys.

How do you guys do it? I would love to start thinkin that way. Like I have told Ray before and now you, detox5, I am in the same position. I just dont know how to move on ..its been a month and I dont want to do NC because i feel like this is a time in our lives that we need people to talk too ( We both started our working careers) So im soo confused cause my girl is also stubborn and has called me twice but I feel like its my turn to call just to see how she is. She to let her know that im here for her no matter what. God why is this so hard guys? Help

Hey Ray and fellow peeps, I just came accross this thread and Ray Im not goin to lie to ya..Im goin through the same exact thing. Just reading ur posts scare me cause it almost like you are goin through the same feelings that I have. HCI, Vert, Chai714, your advise I feel is very helpful even for me. Im seriously stuck in the same perdictment as Ray is. I dont know if you guys read my thread...Help Wanted: Whats meant to be will be?....but If you guys could kindly read it and give me some advise I def would appreicate it. Ray, its been a month for me too, and the pain hasnt gotten any easier either. It sucks. Like your ex, my ex is my whole world, and I know I can move on but its like I really found what I wanted in someone. It wasnt like we didnt have a good relationship (well if you read my story you will see) the working world killed my dream relationship. Everyone just tells me time will heal me, but its like hard to let go of something that u believed in soo much. SO i know how u feel. Im sorry I cant give any words of encouragement that you havent already gotten. Cause Im still lookin for some myself. We have to hang in there and just give it time. Let me know if theres anything I can do for ya. Thanks everyone for listening. I hope to hear from ya guys. Have a good one Tuffguy

Dude All I can say is that I feel for ya. I know that doesnt help but Im kinda in the same boat. I mean I attracted to some girls but thats all it is...The girls that i might are nothin compared to my ex and where she was in ur life..i know i shouldnt compare but what she offered is what I wanted so its ok to compare in my case. Just give it time I guess ...thats what people are tellin me. Good Luck Man

Anyone else out there that can Help! I really dont know what to do or could do. Please Help

Thanks Guys for the Advice...Ok let me get this straight Waynerwayner... Im supposed to take some kind of action. Well I have take some kinda of action..I have given her space..Almost 4 weeks...Like I said she has called me twice. And i have done one thing to let her know that im still around. SO what kind of action can I do? Guys I truly fell in love with this girl ..she fit alot of what I wanted from a partner. Its just that we both just started our careers. So its almost like its NOT a terrible reason to ask for some time apart but at the same time shouldnt this be a time where its possible to back off and still be together. I dont know. I dont want to bring it up cause I dont want to be like that. I have done that in the past and I told myself to seriously back away and let her have her time. Cause I feel so strong about this girl that I am willing to do anything. But at the same time from what u said waynerwayner...I cant just sit there...So whats TOO MUCH and whats not enough u know. Thats where Im at in all of this...Guys like I said I really care for this girl. You have to remember we just started out our careers..shes in a big city and a high class hotel/restaurant..where as I work at a high class Private country club in the suburbs...So i know she wants to see the city more and I just hope she didnt wantt to do this cause she just wanted to be single cause thats not like her.. O well sorry for the long Reply...Advice is welcome...Thanks again everyone for Your time Tuffguy

Hey Guys, Im still a little new to the forum. Ive posted a thread before and have gotten many replies, but I wanted to try to change that topic into another one. Quick Summary: -Girlfriend of 8 months broke up with me -Both Work in the Restaurant Industry -We both Just Graduated and are Managers at different Restaurants -She was little overwhelmed at work so she said she needed time for herself (Which is understandable) -Its been 3 weeks now: she has called me twice and has open up the lines of communication. -I havent tried to contact her other then sending her a card a couple days ago....I could of called her to see how she was doin but i send her a Funy card instead wishing her well at work etc. - She texted me back and told me thank you and it was thoughtful of me Heres the whole story if your interested...(It would help if you read this cause then you could get a better feel where we are) You might have to read through to see the updates too...Sorry link removed Ok enough of all that....My question is....If someone really loved you and knew they wanted to be with u for the rest of their lives....In a way dont u think that person wouldnt give everything up even if something were to come up? I mean my ex broke up with me....when up until the day off..she was tellin everyone and even me that she loved me soo much and she was lucky to have me and all that...and now with the new job she is just stressed freaked out and broke up with me. Ok I can understand that but as far letting it go a month without seeing each other and ok she did call twice but i think they were to only find out if i was doin ok cause her friend had told her that I prob wasnt....So i dont know we seem to be soo right for each other...but If we were so RIGHT..Dont you think she would be back already and wanting to work through our lack of time for each other? Dont get me wrong I work ALOT and i dont have time either...But like i said before..I want piece of mind and ill be happy....I can work through this and i can find time for my girl. I know this was a weird post..But if theres anyone out there that can help...id appreciate it. Thanks to the others that have replied. Your advice hasnt gone unnoticed. Just lookin for some more insight. Take Care Guys...Remember Chin UP

Hey Guys, Well its been 3 weeks since we have broken up. Just an update: She called after the first week exactly, called me second week exactly( on our anniversary) prob was just coinsidence. So I took the first MOVE...Must I remind you I havent called or anything before this...But I sent her a card a funny one...all it said in is was to say Hi to her rents and her family that are visiting next week (her nieces who LOVE me and will ask where I am when they come) and I asked hope work was goin well. We are on talking terms so I could of called her and asked her all this but I chose to do to the card thing. Well with the card I bought her something else. Since we are both in the Restaurant industry and on our feet all day... I bought her those Dr Sholls Gel Inserts and I wanted to put a note with it...like something funny...So if any of you have seen the commerical for the them...it has a catchy saying...Are you Gellin"? So i put that on the casing And I put a little side note....Hope these make our days easier...i know i know ..sounds stupid..but i wanted to be funny. SO the next day she got the package....and Texted me Thanks for the package, that was very thoughtful of you, Ill tell everyone you said HI ..talk to ya later. I have a serious problem of ONVER ANALAZING things...I dont want to read into this but Im just not gettin a good vibe for someone reason. Im really tryin to move on with my life..I got a promotion at work..I just ordered my dream car..and Im staying busy....Is there anything else I can do? I really would love to know how she is taking this and if she even thinks of us like that ever? This girl is what i want for my future. I see other girls and hang out with other girls...and No one is on the same level that she is...and it hurts me. Any othe advice guys? I knw its only been 3 weeks and she said in the beginning it was goin to be more like a month or so that she needed. But I dont know... I just am really scared that shes goin to get comfortable with her new ways and not want to go back to having someone to attend too... Sorry for the long reply....Thanks in advance for the replys!!! nite yall

Hey, the fact that she Called...is it still cool to send her a card? I know I could call her but I dont know I dont want to be too pushy and I dont want abuse this. I want to show her I can still be distant u know. I know she prob saw right threw me when I acted so calm and happy. Maybe thats why she called right back to ask me if I was ok. Ok STOP OVERANYLAZING..haha Thanks for the reply...Let me know if my idea is OK...Thanks for your time.

Hi, I went with muneca, and it was also my decision, to go ahead and cover myself and Texted her that I just wanted her to know that I was thinkin of her on what would of beeb our 8th month anniversary and I didnt know how to tell her when I was on the phone. I said good luck with work and talk to ya later. Thats all I put short and sweet. Guys I dont want to over anylaze this like Im doin. I have a tendence to do that. I just cant believe she called. The first call she sounded so sweet and really interested in what I had to say and it was a good convo. So its hard cause now I think about it maybe she really does care and wants to know if Im ok and thats why she called. I really hope its not cause her friend might have told when she and I just recently talked, that I wasnt doin to well and didnt seem to be moving on. I really hope she didnt do that. Im good friends with this girl to the point where she was always there for us and when we had our fights she always tried to get us back to talking. She is truly someone who wouldnt sabatoge this relationship. So its hard to think what was the real reason she called. Guys your the ony ones I can talk to about this cause I told everyone that I wasnt goin to talk about it and the noes that really know her I cant say anything to them cause i dont want to risk it. See with the anniversary thing....for the first time in my relationships i have acknowledged the anniversary and have either done something or mentioned it first to her...and i think she has been taken back from that cause some guys dont say anything or dont car. SO i think with this text message its saying that I still thought about it even though the circumstances. Guys I hope I did the right thing. I didnt get a response back like I was hoping but it might of been because she gets into work really early. Ok im signing off. Thanks for your replys

Hey Guys, She called me tonite..It was such a shock..its been another week and she Called again... I havent called or anything..this has been twice for her. The convo went well it was just really Hi and hows everything. I was positive and prob sounded like i was doin fine. So we ended the convo good. I was sooooo excited, I was jumpin up and down. Then she calls back. I was like NOOOOOOOO. She was like I have a question..I was like yes...she was like you sure theres nothing u have to say to me ..or u want to say. I was like no not really she was o ok well ok I just wanted to make sure. I was like crap why did she call. Now im all mixed up. I was like damn man shes really missng me. But shes a tough cookie and she wouldnt give in. But who knows i dont want to look into it. Im tryin to stay positive. Im just so confused right now. WHY would she call back?...See her good friend is leavin for Europe this fri and I know she prob talked to her...the one friend that i mentioned before about how she was kinda tired of talkin about it and I should move on. I just REALIZED something IT RIGHT NOW...its our anniversary..I wonder if she wanted me to say it was our day??? What do u you think?