tuffguy247

Thanks Guys

Hey Guys Im really in need of some Help! I dont know how I can start this Post without letting you guys know about my story so here it is ...please read... link removed Update on the Latest: Its been 8 weeks since we have seen each other. Although, we have talked on the phone roughly 3 times in the past 2 weeks and she did call me twice and sent me a card on my Bday. I sent a Thank You letter to her and said all this nice stuff. Its been a couple of days and Im not really expecting her to call right away but I kinda was hopin she call me and say something about the thank u card. So the ball is in her court. Ok that is what happened so far... Guys Im just really confused on what I have to do as far as sittin her down and having the talk. I mean when we talk on the phone, its just about work and how everything else is...its Weird feeling talk. Which is normal I guess. But I know I have to talk to her cause im going crazy over here thinkin ..what is she thinkin"...Why is she doin this? I know i have to sit down and talk to her. But the thing is ...we havent talked about US since the break. And she asked for the break and its been like 2 months now..and she was kinda goin on the basis of that lets wait a month and see what happens....so Ive given her more time then she asked for...and Ive been really good too. I want to tell her how i feel about her and how Im still madly in love with her and I want her in my life ...more then a friend. I want to tell her all this stuff but im scared cause i dont want to scare her away ...cause we all know we all got this information all at once..our first reaction would be...I dont know. The circumstances are kinda still the same. We work soo much that we dont have time for anything. But guys i really want to make it work. I want to try to do things slower and not really rush back into things..But i want to be there for her. So i know I have to talk to her but what Im confused about ...How to go about it.... I def want to see her in person and do this cause we havent seen each other in 8 weeks and they might create a spark that i could use to my advantage...Do i write it all down and just read it to her....do I wait til weve hung out a couple of times and see where things go ..then talk....I think it would be too much if i just came out of the blue and said all this stuff..Dont you? Just another Side note: I just talked to a friend of mine who is best friends with my ex, and I told myself to not talk to her cause i feel like she would tell my ex everyting but of course i didnt listen to myself. And I asked her...Did you see something between me and Kimmie? (Mind you she hasnt been able to hang out with my ex casue she is soo busy but they talk on the phone a couple of times ..so im sure she knows whats goin on) She said There was Def something there. Yes, Love, IN Love, I dont know. I know she may not know exactly what my ex is thinkin about For some reason those WORDS stuck in my head... Just so LOST and without a clue Guys I need help... Please help PM or reply

Well Thanks for the Replies guys, After talkin to my friend and finding out the info... i just took the initutive to just call her cause I felt in a way it was my turn cause If I was goin to show her that I can care.. a simple call would help that. It was just that a SIMPLE convo...we talked for a half hour and it was really really good...I had to end it cause she kept talkin. We hadnt talked for 3 weeks so we kinda had alot to catch up on. So we ended it good and said we'd talk to each other later and that was that. The next day she had her day off and so i felt like Texting her..cause i forgot to say it when we were on the phone....Hope you are enjoyin ur day off, Have a good week ttyl...then she Texted me back..Thank you, Hope your having a good day at work HUN, talk to ya later. Guys this may not mean anything to u guys but she called me HUN. Im not gettin any ideas but I thought that was at least a good move. I know some of you would be against it. But like i said before she was frustrated cause I didnt sound like myself with her one the phone in the first couple of weeks of hte break up...BUT i changed that and went back to the way I had always talked to her and I think she saw that and liked that. I dont know. I thought it was progress. I dont know

Heres a little Update: Im assuming you guys know the story so- I found out from a friend( that ex works with and we are all good friends from colllege and they hang out alot) my ex is not only thinkin about things but she is kinda frustrated that when she talked to me on the phone it seemed like I didnt care. The only thing I can think of is that maybe Im being too fake when I talked to her..you know i was like a friend and not like all lovey dovey ..which she is used too. I was just being normal...like almost like she wanted me too. And i dont know if this is pre card era but she has to see that I care. And I did find out the reasons that she used for the breathier was in fact true...she was just overwhelmed and it wasnt cause of someone else. She isnt tryin to talk to anyone. So that has helped me soo much. The last thing I found out was that our friend...the one that my ex always hangs out with and talks too...Said it herself...She thinks we wil get back together. So that was reassuring. I think this so called Break was more of a breathier and it wasnt as bad as I made it out to be. This time is just soo overwhelming for both of us. I talked to my good friend last nite and I know what I have to do. I have to just step up and be like Listen this is how i feel...what are u feeling and are u willing to work on this new stint of our relationship. Well thats all i have to say for now. Thanks again for everything guys.

Heres a little Update: Im assuming you guys know the story so- I found out from a friend( that ex works with and we are all good friends from colllege and they hang out alot) my ex is not only thinkin about things but she is kinda frustrated that when she talked to me on the phone it seemed like I didnt care. The only thing I can think of is that maybe Im being too fake when I talked to her..you know i was like a friend and not like all lovey dovey ..which she is used too. I was just being normal...like almost like she wanted me too. And i dont know if this is pre card era but she has to see that I care. And I did find out the reasons that she used for the breathier was in fact true...she was just overwhelmed and it wasnt cause of someone else. She isnt tryin to talk to anyone. So that has helped me soo much. The last thing I found out was that our friend...the one that my ex always hangs out with and talks too...Said it herself...She thinks we wil get back together. So that was reassuring. I think this so called Break was more of a breathier and it wasnt as bad as I made it out to be. This time is just soo overwhelming for both of us. I talked to my good friend last nite and I know what I have to do. I have to just step up and be like Listen this is how i feel...what are u feeling and are u willing to work on this new stint of our relationship. Well thats all i have to say for now. Thanks again for everything guys.

How do you guys do it? I would love to start thinkin that way. Like I have told Ray before and now you, detox5, I am in the same position. I just dont know how to move on ..its been a month and I dont want to do NC because i feel like this is a time in our lives that we need people to talk too ( We both started our working careers) So im soo confused cause my girl is also stubborn and has called me twice but I feel like its my turn to call just to see how she is. She to let her know that im here for her no matter what. God why is this so hard guys? Help

Hey Ray and fellow peeps, I just came accross this thread and Ray Im not goin to lie to ya..Im goin through the same exact thing. Just reading ur posts scare me cause it almost like you are goin through the same feelings that I have. HCI, Vert, Chai714, your advise I feel is very helpful even for me. Im seriously stuck in the same perdictment as Ray is. I dont know if you guys read my thread...Help Wanted: Whats meant to be will be?....but If you guys could kindly read it and give me some advise I def would appreicate it. Ray, its been a month for me too, and the pain hasnt gotten any easier either. It sucks. Like your ex, my ex is my whole world, and I know I can move on but its like I really found what I wanted in someone. It wasnt like we didnt have a good relationship (well if you read my story you will see) the working world killed my dream relationship. Everyone just tells me time will heal me, but its like hard to let go of something that u believed in soo much. SO i know how u feel. Im sorry I cant give any words of encouragement that you havent already gotten. Cause Im still lookin for some myself. We have to hang in there and just give it time. Let me know if theres anything I can do for ya. Thanks everyone for listening. I hope to hear from ya guys. Have a good one Tuffguy

Dude All I can say is that I feel for ya. I know that doesnt help but Im kinda in the same boat. I mean I attracted to some girls but thats all it is...The girls that i might are nothin compared to my ex and where she was in ur life..i know i shouldnt compare but what she offered is what I wanted so its ok to compare in my case. Just give it time I guess ...thats what people are tellin me. Good Luck Man

Anyone else out there that can Help! I really dont know what to do or could do. Please Help

Thanks Guys for the Advice...Ok let me get this straight Waynerwayner... Im supposed to take some kind of action. Well I have take some kinda of action..I have given her space..Almost 4 weeks...Like I said she has called me twice. And i have done one thing to let her know that im still around. SO what kind of action can I do? Guys I truly fell in love with this girl ..she fit alot of what I wanted from a partner. Its just that we both just started our careers. So its almost like its NOT a terrible reason to ask for some time apart but at the same time shouldnt this be a time where its possible to back off and still be together. I dont know. I dont want to bring it up cause I dont want to be like that. I have done that in the past and I told myself to seriously back away and let her have her time. Cause I feel so strong about this girl that I am willing to do anything. But at the same time from what u said waynerwayner...I cant just sit there...So whats TOO MUCH and whats not enough u know. Thats where Im at in all of this...Guys like I said I really care for this girl. You have to remember we just started out our careers..shes in a big city and a high class hotel/restaurant..where as I work at a high class Private country club in the suburbs...So i know she wants to see the city more and I just hope she didnt wantt to do this cause she just wanted to be single cause thats not like her.. O well sorry for the long Reply...Advice is welcome...Thanks again everyone for Your time Tuffguy

Hey Guys, Im still a little new to the forum. Ive posted a thread before and have gotten many replies, but I wanted to try to change that topic into another one. Quick Summary: -Girlfriend of 8 months broke up with me -Both Work in the Restaurant Industry -We both Just Graduated and are Managers at different Restaurants -She was little overwhelmed at work so she said she needed time for herself (Which is understandable) -Its been 3 weeks now: she has called me twice and has open up the lines of communication. -I havent tried to contact her other then sending her a card a couple days ago....I could of called her to see how she was doin but i send her a Funy card instead wishing her well at work etc. - She texted me back and told me thank you and it was thoughtful of me Heres the whole story if your interested...(It would help if you read this cause then you could get a better feel where we are) You might have to read through to see the updates too...Sorry link removed Ok enough of all that....My question is....If someone really loved you and knew they wanted to be with u for the rest of their lives....In a way dont u think that person wouldnt give everything up even if something were to come up? I mean my ex broke up with me....when up until the day off..she was tellin everyone and even me that she loved me soo much and she was lucky to have me and all that...and now with the new job she is just stressed freaked out and broke up with me. Ok I can understand that but as far letting it go a month without seeing each other and ok she did call twice but i think they were to only find out if i was doin ok cause her friend had told her that I prob wasnt....So i dont know we seem to be soo right for each other...but If we were so RIGHT..Dont you think she would be back already and wanting to work through our lack of time for each other? Dont get me wrong I work ALOT and i dont have time either...But like i said before..I want piece of mind and ill be happy....I can work through this and i can find time for my girl. I know this was a weird post..But if theres anyone out there that can help...id appreciate it. Thanks to the others that have replied. Your advice hasnt gone unnoticed. Just lookin for some more insight. Take Care Guys...Remember Chin UP

Hey Guys, Well its been 3 weeks since we have broken up. Just an update: She called after the first week exactly, called me second week exactly( on our anniversary) prob was just coinsidence. So I took the first MOVE...Must I remind you I havent called or anything before this...But I sent her a card a funny one...all it said in is was to say Hi to her rents and her family that are visiting next week (her nieces who LOVE me and will ask where I am when they come) and I asked hope work was goin well. We are on talking terms so I could of called her and asked her all this but I chose to do to the card thing. Well with the card I bought her something else. Since we are both in the Restaurant industry and on our feet all day... I bought her those Dr Sholls Gel Inserts and I wanted to put a note with it...like something funny...So if any of you have seen the commerical for the them...it has a catchy saying...Are you Gellin"? So i put that on the casing And I put a little side note....Hope these make our days easier...i know i know ..sounds stupid..but i wanted to be funny. SO the next day she got the package....and Texted me Thanks for the package, that was very thoughtful of you, Ill tell everyone you said HI ..talk to ya later. I have a serious problem of ONVER ANALAZING things...I dont want to read into this but Im just not gettin a good vibe for someone reason. Im really tryin to move on with my life..I got a promotion at work..I just ordered my dream car..and Im staying busy....Is there anything else I can do? I really would love to know how she is taking this and if she even thinks of us like that ever? This girl is what i want for my future. I see other girls and hang out with other girls...and No one is on the same level that she is...and it hurts me. Any othe advice guys? I knw its only been 3 weeks and she said in the beginning it was goin to be more like a month or so that she needed. But I dont know... I just am really scared that shes goin to get comfortable with her new ways and not want to go back to having someone to attend too... Sorry for the long reply....Thanks in advance for the replys!!! nite yall

Hey, the fact that she Called...is it still cool to send her a card? I know I could call her but I dont know I dont want to be too pushy and I dont want abuse this. I want to show her I can still be distant u know. I know she prob saw right threw me when I acted so calm and happy. Maybe thats why she called right back to ask me if I was ok. Ok STOP OVERANYLAZING..haha Thanks for the reply...Let me know if my idea is OK...Thanks for your time.

Hi, I went with muneca, and it was also my decision, to go ahead and cover myself and Texted her that I just wanted her to know that I was thinkin of her on what would of beeb our 8th month anniversary and I didnt know how to tell her when I was on the phone. I said good luck with work and talk to ya later. Thats all I put short and sweet. Guys I dont want to over anylaze this like Im doin. I have a tendence to do that. I just cant believe she called. The first call she sounded so sweet and really interested in what I had to say and it was a good convo. So its hard cause now I think about it maybe she really does care and wants to know if Im ok and thats why she called. I really hope its not cause her friend might have told when she and I just recently talked, that I wasnt doin to well and didnt seem to be moving on. I really hope she didnt do that. Im good friends with this girl to the point where she was always there for us and when we had our fights she always tried to get us back to talking. She is truly someone who wouldnt sabatoge this relationship. So its hard to think what was the real reason she called. Guys your the ony ones I can talk to about this cause I told everyone that I wasnt goin to talk about it and the noes that really know her I cant say anything to them cause i dont want to risk it. See with the anniversary thing....for the first time in my relationships i have acknowledged the anniversary and have either done something or mentioned it first to her...and i think she has been taken back from that cause some guys dont say anything or dont car. SO i think with this text message its saying that I still thought about it even though the circumstances. Guys I hope I did the right thing. I didnt get a response back like I was hoping but it might of been because she gets into work really early. Ok im signing off. Thanks for your replys

Hey Guys, She called me tonite..It was such a shock..its been another week and she Called again... I havent called or anything..this has been twice for her. The convo went well it was just really Hi and hows everything. I was positive and prob sounded like i was doin fine. So we ended the convo good. I was sooooo excited, I was jumpin up and down. Then she calls back. I was like NOOOOOOOO. She was like I have a question..I was like yes...she was like you sure theres nothing u have to say to me ..or u want to say. I was like no not really she was o ok well ok I just wanted to make sure. I was like crap why did she call. Now im all mixed up. I was like damn man shes really missng me. But shes a tough cookie and she wouldnt give in. But who knows i dont want to look into it. Im tryin to stay positive. Im just so confused right now. WHY would she call back?...See her good friend is leavin for Europe this fri and I know she prob talked to her...the one friend that i mentioned before about how she was kinda tired of talkin about it and I should move on. I just REALIZED something IT RIGHT NOW...its our anniversary..I wonder if she wanted me to say it was our day??? What do u you think?

Thanks for the Reply Belle4. I think what my friend was tryin to say in the nicest way possible was to Stop talking about and MOVE ON. I mean I talked to her after it and she said that she just didnt know what to say anymore and she was leaving for Europe this weekend so she kinda wanted me to start thinkin I had to move on. It was like her last words. I know she didnt mean it to be mean. I have talk to alot of people and its hard to believe whats right and what I should do. In the past I have made some mistakes as far as tryin to be a friend after a relationship and what not and it didnt work. I dont want to blow this. This is the girl I would love to spend more time, and poss marry. I felt like we didnt have enough time with the strong love. Its just that the WORLD is against us. She is just workin too much to even think about it. But I hope she is takin this time to think. I know she scared, cause she told me, that if we took this break that shes goin to get used to not havin me around and shes not goin to want to come back. And I dont know if she said that just to make me think that its possible that could happen. Im just soooo confused cause everything was soo right and she was tellin me how much she loved me up until the day of the break. I just cant believe how she can just end this like this. I know its a break and I know she said she goin to need like a month, which was fine but Id like to be sure that the NC is workin and she misses me and after that time she will come back. Sorry for the Long Reply...I plan on doin the funny card thing either this week or next..it will be 3 weeks since. Its just a HI, hope all is well. That brings me to a question that I have? For this card I know i shouldnt put I LOV U and all that stuff. But whats just enough to make her think that i still think of her. When we last talked we said we were goin to be friends and I was fine with it. So its like i dont want to go against what I said I was goin to be. But I still want to show her that I think about her and LOVE HER. If you guys have any remarks on this please let me know. thanks for your time. ~Tuffguy

Hey Guys, I was just talkin to one of her friends, who also on of mine. And she has been there for me thoughtout this. But she has felt like she has consoled me enough that she cant do anymore. Cause she feels bad cause she feels like shes goin behond her back. So she emailed me and told me that she wants to stop talkin about it and for me to MOVE ON. Which is totally true. Im in the wrong for puttin her in that situation. She also told me ...and this comin from a girl that lived with her at school and has been there threw my ex's other break ups. She told me that she really feels like my ex wont come around. And when i heard this I just started balling. She was like you have to move on and go on without her. And i know thats what I have to do but from someone that was always on my side when it came to something with my ex and me. How do I move on but still hold on true. I really need help guys. Im not tryin to be psycho at all. But im afraid that its taking over me and I wont know how to get over her. What do I do? Please Help

Thanks Rich. I really appreciate your post. See Im pretty sure its not beacuse she wanted to be single. Im really poistive..unless shes not tellin me but she just needed her time. But I have talked to so many people and they say when someone wants a break that means in a way..they dont want to be with you. Im hoping they are wrong. See she has been goin out with her managers and stuff and from what I know they are really cool and good looking and have the connection throughtout the City. So I mean it doesnt look good on paper but I dont know. I know shes not the girl to go after her Managers..I know she believes in a good Work ethic. SO im hoping that shes being good and its cause she just needed time for herself. I mean if she didnt have time for me...the best boyfriend she has ever had...that was her remark...then I pretty sure she wouldnt do anyting with anyone else. Lets HOPE Im right. Thanks again for your time.

Hey Im new to this forum. And I need help!!I just stubbled accross this and I wanted to give it a try. Heres my story: (Bare with me) My girl and I just recently decided to take a break.(that was 2 weeks ago) We met at school and have been dating for 8 months. Within those 8 months.. we grew a STRONG connection. I never experieneced it before. She was all that I wanted and it was strange how she fit almost everything that I saw in a future wife. Well we grad college in May and we have started the REAL WORLD. We both grad with a degree in Restaurant Management. I work at a country club as an assistant Restaurant Mgr. workin 50 hrs a week. Ive worked there before so i have come comfortable there. Now she on the other hand just started her job, like a month ago. She works for the Four Season, a very well known HIGH class Hotel and Restaurant Chain if you havent heard of it. Its BIG time for our industry to come out of school and have this job. She was very fortunate to get it. SO with this job comes alot of responsibility. I mean its not like any restaurant...this is where celebrities come to stay when they are in town. So anyways, we only live 50 mins apart... so we arragned 2 of the same days off each week. SO we would go back and forth to each other's places each week. Well she had to drive an hour to work every day and back. Her schedule is from like 5 am to 3pm....and she comes home and eats and then goes to bed. Then she gets up and repeats it all again. So on our days off, all we both would do is what we couldnt do during the week. Our errands and just laying around. Which was fine with me cause I love this girl soo much that I didnt mind just letting her sleep on me and rubbing her head. Ok so one day I mention to her that I felt like we didnt have enough alone time anymore...That is because we both live at home and her mom works at home and my dad is always home cause hes retired.... So she agreed and just kinda started Crying.....She told me shes been feeling this way for awhile and didnt know how to tell me and not hurt me. She felt like she doesnt even have time for herself and the things she has to get done on her days off. She said she wanted to take a step back and have time for herself. SO it was a TOTAL shock to me cause i didnt know by bring something up was goin to cause a a "break' in our what seem to me a TOTALLY perfect relationship....its not like it was goin sour or anything...we fought sometimes but other then that....we both are madly in love with each other and never have met anyone like each other before. SO as far as the relationship went, it was perfect. And people around us knew we were good together. SO anyways, sorry for the long reply, It came down to that she very stressed out and she a little bit of a perfectionist so she likes to be in control and she didnt have control of somethings so she ReActed to what was easier to get rid of at the time. SO here I am madly in love with this girl and Im destroyed. She was heart broken cause she had hurt me and she had said before that she would never hurt me cause she was always the one that was hurt in her past relationships, so she was devestated that she had to do this to me. Dont get me wrong I work the same amount of hours as her (45-50hrs), but All I need one i get home from work is piece of mind...and she was that for me. I didnt care what happened at work or whatever..As long as I had her to hold and to love then I was fine. Now Ive been tryin to find ways to let her know that Im still thinkin of her. Nothin over the top cause i dont want to scare her off. I want to give her her space. She did call me a week after and wanted to see how i was doin but i know she called to make sure I knew it wasnt goin to be a short period of time. Cause she was thinking more of a month or so. But we established that we can be friends and if we need to talk to each other we can call. But we both know that if we call its not gointo help things. SO we havent talked since. But there are so many ideas running around in my head as far gettin her to realize that what we had was good. One idea was to just send a card, a humorous one, just sayin hope work is goin well ...just wanted to say HI ....something like that... I mean I also have this huge idea (I wouldnt do this to later of course, but I would love to do this) but I have alot of candles, so I was goin to drive to her house 50 mins away and spell out I LOVE YOU on her front lawn and id call to wake her up and tell her to look out her window or something like that. I just love that idea and I sooo want to do it.. But I cant I know I cant. Not yet at least. So I guess Im just asking the Forum..What can I or what should I do? I want to give her her time but at the same time Im worried that our love is goin to fizz out. And Im not goin to let that happen. What does one do for this situation? If anyone can help please let me know. Thank you sooo much for taking the time to read this. I know it was long but I hope its readable. Best Regards, Tuffguy