CamaroJoe

lol let me start off by picking on you a little bit. If you did a complete 360, you would be back where you started in the first place. Which would mean that you'd be shy again. Doing a 180 would be more correct. heh Now that i've got that out of the way, i'm going throught the exact same thing right now actually. I find myself saying the most cocky things around people and make myself look like a complete jerk. But the key is to do it in a way that is kind of funny and cocky. When you present it this way, the person who you are speaking to doesn't really know whether or not you are being for real. Plus it's funny. This phase will pass. I'm getting better now myself. I've learned when and how to be cocky and when and how to be more modest. Just don't do it to be an * * *. Sometimes, not trying to be cocky or confident actually shows it more. And on the other hand, sometimes being too cocky and confident appears fake and that you are only doing it to hide your own insecurities. Just don't worry about it, when you 'get it' you'll 'get it' and understand what you need to do. But you've made the right step into transforming yourself from a shy wussy to a confident man. G'luck.

I would like to get an insight if anyone would feel compelled to indulge me. I know every woman has a slightly different feeling on certain topics. But I would like every female's opinion on this that I can find. So if everyone who reads this can reply even if it's extremely short. Take this as sort of a one question survey. Do you, as women, like hairy chests? And if a guy does has hair on his chest and you don't like it, is it okay to shave it?...or is that flat out unattractive?

Because girls don't make sense. She probably actually wants you but you didn't let her know you want her (if in fact you do)...or she just wants more sex...maybe this guy isn't making her sexually attracted to him. I have a lil' story to tell you. I dated this girl for about two months, we broke up and i still don't know the reason lol, but when I stopped calling her and acting all depressed, she showed up at my house one day and stayed over just to sleep with me. Then just recently I began to talk to and hang out with this girl and she said she didn't want a relationship and that she's in love with a dude in another state and i guess she also loves another guy in another state lol, but she still sleeps with me. She would say stuff like "I really like you but I don't love you" and stuff like that right out of the blue. Women...you gotta love 'em. lol

Oh, and today, since it's been raining all day i've actually given this exact subject a lot of thought. Depression is caused by two factors. Hurt (whatever happens to you to make you feel the sadness and pain) and boredom (too much time in your life to sit around thinking about your sadness and pain)...So my tip to you, even if you are out doing whatever and your mind is still concentrated on your losses, KEEP YOURSELF BUSY AT ALL TIMES! It'll help ease the pain even just a little. But even the smallest things can change the outcome.

Alright dude, i know exactly how you feel, because I feel the same way all the time when I think of the girl I lost. She was/is so perfect for me and I don't know what to do about it. I've tried the no contact, didn't work, I tried just being fun around her and accepting her as a friend, didn't work, and I tried treating her as if we were still 'talking', didn't work. But suicide is not the answer. This is going to be really harsh, but you need to be a man. Suicide is a sissy's way out. Show her you can hangle the divorce and all that. It's going to take time and you will ALWAYS think of her and of your children, but to let that drive you to suicidal thoughts is just insane. You are better than that and you know it and you need to show it. It's going to hurt, i feel you right now as I'm writing this i'm thinking of that girl and your heart just climbs into your throat and you just want to throw up and cry. But man, life is what you make it. Just accept what comes to you and run with it. NEVER LET ANYONE AFFECT YOUR LIFE...at least not to this extreme effect. And when you are around her and your children, even if you feel like dying, you have to be strong. The more you act it and say it in your head the more you'll begin to believe it. Trust me, time heals everything. But you must first accept what life brings you before you can move on. It's going to take a long time, but you can do it.

I've done a lot of studying on attraction and flirting in the past few months and I've come to the realization that ATTRACTION is not a choice for women. It is made on a subconscious level…However, what I still don't understand is how a woman can go from liking a man to not liking him in a matter of a week or even less. And I've also noticed that most of the time once that attraction is lost, it is lost forever. And if a woman places a man in her 'friends' category, no matter how attractive he becomes, it is almost impossible for him to escape the label of 'just friends'. And finally, if a woman is not attracted to a guy at first, but does not see him enough to consider him a friend, she can become attracted to him in the blink of an eye…WHY IS THIS? Also, I'm not saying that woman can't be attracted to guy based on looks. But looks alone are not enough. I've heard plenty of woman say stuff like "he's hott, but he's dumb" or "he's cute, but he's a dork". Does anyone have anything they would like to add to this? Maybe a woman reading this who knows something that may help us guys out a little bit. I'm not trying to figure woman out completely, that would just ruin the fun of it all, but it would be nice to know what makes a woman tick. I know all women are different but then again, they ARE WOMEN, and all things that can be categorized must have generalizations and universal laws. (and no comments on fame and fortune! lol ...that's just wrong. But then again, fame shows you are a dominant figure and fortune shows you can be a provider ...maybe it's not so wrong.)

I understand you completely. We do want what we can't have. But see, we were perfect when we were doing our thing. We never got bored, we had fun. I can remember I could make her smile ALL the time by doing whatever. I can still make her smile, but it seems a little different. She's still really sweet and fun but I don't know man. I just feel pathetic for feeling like this about someone, it's never happened before. I mean, i've been dumped. And i think about them for months or years. But everytime i seem to accept not being with this particular girl, something seems to happen to make me attracted to her again.

Let me start by saying that I've met a lot of girls in the past two or three months. More than I have in the past couple of years...I still have a problem picking up women at bar though, but that will come lol n e way, there's this one girl that I would pretty much give up n e thing to be with. So marraige material. But at one point I actually had her. We hung out a couple times, made out, etc.... (no sex)...but then her mom intervened and sine she's kinda young, her mom's word i guess is kind of the law. Well, it seems that I can get so many girls intersted in me. To date, have sex with, hang out, or whatever, except her. Ever since the whole 'mom' thing, she blows me of all the time. I don't call her that much and she now has a 2nd job, so she is busy. But what am i supposed to do? I don't want to appear desperate, but this is the girl I want. If I was dating anyone at anytime, no matter how hott or awesome of a person they are, i'd drop them in a heart beat for one second with this girl. In fact i just met this extremely hott girl at my college orientation class. I mean this girl is gorgeous. eyes and smile are the first things i noticed, nice body, sweet voice, etc...and if we were together and the girl i want decided she wanted me again, i'd drop this girl in a second. I don't know what to do. I've learned that if you are an * * * to girls, meaning picking on them in a funny/cocky way, that they will sleep with you in a second. But I don't want that. i just want this girl. And it seems that it doesn't work for her. i'm really in a rut and I do not know what to do. Plus, i've been out drinking, i've flirted with a bunch of girls but my mind always comes back to her. And i'm the type of person who 'moves on', and doesn't linger on one girl. But omg, this girl is so amazing to me. What do you do? have you ever heard the song 'Shameless' by Garth Brooks...that's so me with her. She's the ONLY person in the entire world that can make my heart melt just by looking at me and smiling. And i feel so much like a dork writing this cuz for real, i telll everyone that they just need to move on when they are in my state, but man....i've tried. I avoided her, ignored her, etc...i've done everything but she is just so perfect for me and I don't know what to do about it. And I can't talk to my friends about it because they'd just call me a fag and tell me to stop being such a puss. And I beileve that myself, but when you meet someone that makes everything go way behond anything physical, it just can't be explained. And i'm guessing I'm asking if there is anyway to win her back? To get her close to me again without coming off as a desperate wussy man? I know I shouldn't say this and that no one should feel this way about someone but I can't help it but i'd do ANYTHING to have her again. it's like in the movie hitch where Albert Brenamen said "I'm not desperate for anyone...but for her, yeah." ...i know, i'm pathetic when it comes to her but i don't care. She's the most peferct women there ever was...for me.

yes you did do the right thing. Do NOT EVER GO ON HIS MYSPACE, EVER!!!!!! I can't stress this enough. It's only going to make you so jealous. The best thing you can do right now is hang out with other people. Meet new men and go out with them. You don't have to fall in love or anything, just have fun. And when and if he contacts you, let him know about it. And even if him being with another girl rips you apart inside, NEVER let him know it. And don't try to contact him in anyway. What you need to do is do everything you can to try and forget him. He'll always be on your mind, but time heals all things. And if he comes back to you, then great. But if not, you just need to see other people and you never know who you are going to meet. Someone may come along and make him totally disappear from your romantic memory and you'll be able settle on just being friends. It all just takes time.

Start playing a little hard to get. Flirt with other guys in front of him. And get one of your friends to talk to him and see if he's interested. And tell the friend that is going to be doing the talking to tell him, only if he's interested, that you are also. But make sure he sees you flirting with other men as well. It works wonders...but from personal experience, don't EVER ask the guy out. A woman did that to me once and even though i agreed, it just takes away from the man's certain aspects of his duty, i guess? ....it's just strange. And plus if he's kinda 'gun shy' as you put it, it might freak him out a little. Flirt when you are around him but make being around him sporadic and enjoyable. And make him kind of jealous in a non sleazy or slutty way.

I don't exactly know what you are asking but I'd have to say to not talk to her for at least a week or two. If she calls, let her leave a msg then wait till the next time she calls to answer. Then just tell her you have been busy. Also, I'd recommend meeting new women and dating them. You don't have to get serious, just have fun. And when you talk to her, don't forget to subtly mention it. This lets her know you are a man and that you aren't going to die just because she doesn't want to be with you anymore. And it may also make her jealous to the point where she starts wanting you back. This way, it'll all be up to you. G'luck. ps... Don't EVER look at her MySpace ever again. It'll only serve to make you jealous. In fact, try not to contact her or see her in any way, shape, or form unless she's the one making the effort.

Let me start off by repeating my title. I don't know what I'm asking but I need some advice. I recently got into a 'sexual' relationship with a girl who doesn't want a 'boyfriend' but 'likes' me and is in love with this other guy who lives in a whole 'nother state. Well, I'm not sure she's my type anyway...she smokes and his really vulgar and a nympho of sorts and is obviously unfaithful. Her mom is just as bad. But this girl is still really fun to hang out with, hott and pretty good in bed. But i've never been really good at this whole casual sex thing. Especially when she talks about her ex's and the guys she loves all the time. She says she's also in love with another guy from another state. I guess what I'm asking is where can I go to find women who are not so emotionally unstable? My last 'sexual experience' before this one, the girl would sleep with me, she always made the move, then she'd freak out and start crying cuz of how 'bad' she was (she was a church going girl)...but she's gotten married since then and is no longer allowed to talk to me. Then the girl before that, I actually set a commitment. Well, i still think about this girl, i loved her but I don't think i was 'in love' with her. Don't get me wrong though, I'd take her back in a heartbeat. But she freaked me out when she started talking about getting married after dating her for a month. Yeah, my reaction to that, which was more of a subtle 'i think we should give it more time' didn't go over too well and we only lasted another month after that. She got pretty bad herself. So where can I go and how can I assure that I'm going to meet a confident, emotionally stable woman between the ages of 18 and 25? or 26? It seems they are cool at first and then it all gets dropped on me at once.

Saw - yeah, sometimes you definitely need to stick up for yourself and sometimes you have to be harsh to get your point accross. It's like in the movies SEVEN, the murderer *John Doe* made an interesting observation. He said "To get someone's attention you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledge hammer".

Thank you scout. Sometimes we just need a slap in the face. Normally it doesn't bother me, i shrug it off or turn it into a joke. But like 5 people in a matter of an hour? That's ridiculous. I really could not help myself. Actually I could have, but man, even my friends were laughing about it *at first*, then they started getting annoyed. But it's going to work out.

To start off, i've mentioned before how I look really young for my age. But let me tell you about last night. It almost pushed me off into the deep end. I went out with a friend, we went to Applebee's had a few drinks and as I was walking up to the bar to hand the bartender my drink (they bring them out two at a time at tables and I know the bartender so she holds my extra one), some girl said something like "Is he really drinking that?" Then once I got to the bar, I asked her to hold my drink and she agreed and some dude said something about checking my I.D....I joked with him a little and his friend and the bartender and made small talk and all was cool. Then we went accross the street to this popular bar and I saw a lot of people I haven't seen in a long time. Well, i went to the bar and this guy starts on me IMMEDIATELY! He's all "You better check his I.D. What, are you about 14?" or something like that... Then he said he was just messing with me and that he had to cuz he likes the Chicago Cubs and I was wearing an Atlanta Braves hat...He's from Chicago and dresses like a cowboy, go figure. Then I leave the bar and go talking to some friends. And then the guy I went to the bar with lost his cell phone. So I went around asking people if they had found a phone...About the third group of people this chick starts on me. She said something about me looking young...like "are you old enough to be in here?" I ignored her and whatever. Then she goes "Have you even reached puberty yet?" and that may be funny to some of you who do not have this 'problem' persay but that was it. I was like "Ok, I know I look really young, i'm over it, are you? I mean are you so self conscious that you have to try to make other's feel bad to make urself feel better? I mean, it's not my fault you look over 50 but u shouldn't take ur aggression out on me. And if you are this much of a b**** when you are drinking, i hate to see what u are like when ur sober." i'm normally really cool about stuff but man, she hit a nerve. i said a little more but i won't utter them here lol And that guy started on me again, so i just went to leave cuz i was ready to deck him in the face. And I was sitting down, at the regular bar (all the scenerary was at the tiki bar), and I was talking to a few buddies and that guy walks bay... "I'm sorry man, I was just having a good time." "Yeah, but at someone elses expense, MINE!" "I said i'm sorry, but i guess it's not good enough?" "Dude, just leave...leave before I freak out and get arrested" And the convo went like that for a little while. We were all telling him just to leave and well it's sort of depressing. I mean, once or twice I don't care. But people were messing with me about it all night. what am I supposed to do? i just want to go out and have a good time, not be confronted by pathetic losers who are older than dirt and still hanging out at bars trying to pick up girls. Any advice??

I'm a naturally funny guy. But just the other day I was talking to my friend and she said she really loves hanging out with me because I make her laugh. But she describes me as 'goofy'. Is there a way to incorporate your funny side without coming off as goofy or jack***? Is it just because I'm ALWAYS joking around her and I just need to tone it down a bit? Any help would be most appreciated.

I want you to practice something. Do you have a job? Or go to school? This is going to seem nerdy at first or that u just want attention. But walk around with your back straight and head up...now comes the tricky part. Make eye contact with EVERY female you pass. DO NOT look away until she does! If you do, she'll KNOW you are nervous. And when you pass her, just casually say "Hi", and keep walking. Once you are comfortable with this, then take the next step. After saying "Hi", say something like "How are you?" or "What's up?"...remembre you're just keeping it casual, being friendly, showing them you're not afraid. It also helps if you smile. This shows that you are a fun person. Then once you can do that with every female at your workplace or school, then you can start doing it everywhere...the real object is being playful and fun. Just have fun dude. Everything else will fall into place.

I know what you need to do. You need to find something you are good at and do it everyday. You need to go outside and get excersize because "excersize gives you endorfins and endorfins make you happy" - Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde. You need to build up your self esteem and confidence. Work on yourself first, figure out who you are and what you want, only then will you find someone who TRULY appreciates you for you. Also, i know how you are feeling. I felt the same way after my ex and I broke up about a year and a half ago. My stomach hurt, i didn't want to do anything, i couldn't eat or sleep, all i thought about was her. But over time, it starts to wear off. Just trust me. Or better yet, just experience it yourself. Experience is the only way for someone to understand. But I hope you chose to deal with your situation in what way is best for you and not for someone else. And I hope it all works out the way you want it to.. And remember..... What does not kill you will only make you stronger.

MySpace is an awesome free site... link removed and u can search for people in ur area and in ur interests, message them and see if they respond. not to mention is fun. try it out.

I'm going to be real blunt with this, i only read the last two paragraphs of your essay and I pretty much got the idea. And if you two can't trust eachother enough to not look at eachother's cell phones, then what is the point? Also, if you don't have enough comofort in your relationship to talk to him about ANYTHING without feeling guilty or scared, then also, what is the point? Don't misread what I'm trying to say. I think you two need to work on your communication and you need to let him know that it is not ok for him to be hanging out with his ex like that. Once you let someone do it once, they'll want to do it over and over. It's like the old saying "You give someone an inch, then they're going to want a mile." And if you do talk to him and he blows up, just remember there a plenty of guys out there looking. And that time heals all things. But as long as you keep giving in and not standing your ground, it's only going to get worse.

They don't have to be funny, but yeah that would be great. I find that humor, as long as the person you are talking to has a sense of it, works great just as long as you're confident about it and not dorky. Oh, and it can't be lame either lol

I have been working on default things to say in any situation when approaching people. Not a pickup line or anything like that, just little things so that there is no way I can get caught off my guard and not have anything to say. For example, If a woman walks into a room wearing shoes with huge heals, I'lll say something like "Why are you wearing such high heals? Are you like three foot without them?" lol (and it helps that 'im short, so she can come back at me as well). Or if a woman walks in with a big purse, you could say something like "Woa, watch it with that duffel bag. That's a big purse, do you have a bomb in there or something? Or a little kid?" lol If anyone else has any they would like to share, by all means do so. It just helps with the initial conversation...I'm actually wanting one to say to someone who looks lost, but my mind goes blank. I don't want to be too lame about it. lol

This is getting very annoying. Let me start off by saying that I am a very short guy. 5'4" to be exact. I'm 22 but I look 16 in the face but I have be told by numerous girls that i'm a 'good looking guy'. Well, i just went out with this girl saturday night and we had a good time. I messed with her, got her laughing, etc... Then when I took her home, she invited me in, needless to say I stayed there all weekend. (big mistake, and definitely was not my origional plan). We kissed a little. In fact, saturday she was pretty much all over me. And then sunday she kinda acted a little distant and weird. Her mom didn't work and she pretty much ignored me the most of the day. And the monday she was all over me again. Telling me I couldn't go home, hugging me, etc... Then yesterday she got online (i called her out on a few things, like she talked about her ex's alot, a big 'no no'. But she replied with the fact that she always had a b/f so that's her life)...well, she got online and she said she was depressed and was thinking of some guy she slept with once and had an everyday phone conversation with. He lives in another state as well. And she said she wasn't looking right now. ok, i have two questions. The first one, why can't girls just be honest? If I'm not 'her type', she can tell me. It's not that big of a deal. Just don't lie to me about her not looking. Then I asked her if she wasn't looking why did she give her # to someone to give to me. And she replied that she didn't, her mom did. But her mom said she was all jumping all over her when we talked and ...forget it, whatever. My point is is that woman are horrible liars and I don't understand why they can't be honest... Now for my second question....Stuff like this has happened to me in the past. I'd get a number, take the girl out, we'd date for a while, then she'd just get all weird on me. I have a bunch of female friends so i want to know if it is cool that I ask them if there is something wrong with me, like in the sense of having a personality trait that makes women become unattracted to me. Or would that be weird? (I have been called weird a lot and goofy, funny, a dork (usually with a slap and/or a smile lol)....is being too goofy and funny a bad thing? Thanks for any insight anyone can give me.

I'm sure there have been previous post about this and I know every woman is different. But is there a magic personality trait that women really dig? I consider myself hott, intelligent, confident pretty much to the point where I'd say anything to anyone and sometimes I go too far, i think. I'm not rude about it and I don't intentially try to piss people off or anything. Any tips on body language, tone of voice, etc...?

Whey protein is definitely the best but Muscle Milk is the best tasting and mixes the best as well. I use that for bulking because it also gives you some fat which you also need. And you may know this, but when working out, drop your sets way down to like 6-8 reps. And have a spot and when you fail, do at least two more reps with your spot pulling up on the weights (this is for bench press), do the same for curls and other excersizes, it'll look weird, some guy pushing up on the curling bar, but it helps ALOT....also try Creatine because it helps your muscles retain water which makes them appear bigger.