izzycat
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I've posted earlier on this issue, but here's an update. I hang out with a group of people every week at this bar, and there's one guy who I met a few a few months ago that I see there. We're friendly, and initially I thought perhaps he was flirting with me (kissing my hand, he's very touchy with me...but he seems to be kinda touchy with other women he's friendly with too, soo...).Well, someone in the "group" knows him pretty well, and says he will NEVER initiate anything and that he's "gun shy" (he's in his late forties!) I know that at the very least, he likes me on SOME level. His social skills aren't the greatest, so it' s hard to read him sometimes. last night we all went out and we played a game and we were teammates (we have been before too and enjoy playing together) and I said something like "you have to kiss my feet now" because I made good play, and He said "you now I have a foot fetish, so I may have to take you up on that...". My friend has asked me how I want to handle it, such as have her say something or ask him if he' s intereseted in anyone or whatever. I dont' mean to sound all 7th grade here......but I just know how to take this to the next level, and I worry that asking him out or something will lead to my embarrassment, rejection, etc.....and I'd have to see him just about every week! UGh. Suggestions??
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I've posted earlier on this issue, but here's an update. I hang out with a group of people every week at this bar, and there's one guy who I met a few a few months ago that I see there. We're friendly, and initially I thought perhaps he was flirting with me (kissing my hand, he's very touchy with me...but he seems to be kinda touchy with other women he's friendly with too, soo...).Well, someone in the "group" knows him pretty well, and says he will NEVER initiate anything and that he's "gun shy" (he's in his late forties!) I know that at the very least, he likes me on SOME level. His social skills aren't the greatest, so it' s hard to read him sometimes. last night we all went out and we played a game and we were teammates (we have been before too and enjoy playing together) and I said something like "you have to kiss my feet now" because I made good play, and He said "you now I have a foot fetish, so I may have to take you up on that...". My friend has asked me how I want to handle it, such as have her say something or ask him if he' s intereseted in anyone or whatever. I dont' mean to sound all 7th grade here......but I just know how to take this to the next level, and I worry that asking him out or something will lead to my embarrassment, rejection, etc.....and I'd have to see him just about every week! UGh. Suggestions??
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I've been good friends with this guy for about 3 years now--we've gottten closer over time. Initially, I was very attracted to him (I still find him attractive) but I wondered about his sexual preferences...but he has had girlfriends, just not for awhile now, although he dates here and there, but has committment issues. It's complicated to explain, but he has made many many comments to me about men, about who he finds handsome, etc....he's never come out and said he wants to sleep with men, but he has discussed mens' bodies, looks, etc in a way that most "straight" guys don't. ON the other hand, lately especially, he is always complimenting me on how nice I look "you look lovely this evening", how chic I am, what colors look good on me, etc. When we first started hanging out, I was frankly confused whether they were "dates" b/c he would come and pick me up, pay for dinner (he often still does). A while back, in a drunken moment I did sort of confess that i had a crush on him but we got interrupted, but he basically said that he just assumed "we were friends". I'm babbling. But it sort of pisses me off when he gets all sweet and complimentary with me and hasn't even ever tried to kiss me...we all so compatible in every way possible...... but I just can't figure out where the hell he' s coming from sometimes.. HELP!!
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So, what are you saying, exactly??
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I work in a fairly small office building, and recently I've noticed this guy either in the hallway or outside the bldg...we always smile and say hi, although I had no idea where he worked. Well morning, I was headed into the building, in a rush b/c I was late, and i see walking toward me. I was prepared to do the usualy hi thing and keep walking, but he stopped and introduced himself and said he'd noticed me around the building. I was caught off guard as I was running late, and not exactly looking my best, ahem....we briefly told us where we each work (he's in a totally different company). Anyhow. There's no question here, pere se, but my first fear is that he may be married (this same type of situation happened to me not long ago), or just "being friendly"....i get my hopes up so quickly, and next time I see him, would like a chance to talk more. Just curious if he's "interested" or what... I have been curious about him since I started noticing him and caught him smiling/looking at me....
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Ash---I was (partially!!) kidding about the are you single thing...you're pretty far north there. (i'm in boston) but the age is right, and you seem thoughtful and genuine. What do you make of a moped, anyhow?? Most of my friends laughed when I told them about that.....like, who the hell drives mopeds these days? (in the city, at any rate...)
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Thanks for the nice and encouraging response. Hmm.....are you single?? Ha ha.... Yeah, it's frustrating! He was all gangbusters on the date, then.......nothing. Go figure. I do try to just take each date as a little adventure/experience....and I'm not losing sleep over this one. I even rode on his stupid moped with him!! Yes, a moped.
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Honeslty, I'm not even sure I like this guy all that much, but I feel like I always give guys at least another chance, as first dates are always a little weird and awkward. Experience has shown me that guys almost always write or email very soon after a date if they're truly into you and want to see you again. He still hasn't made any contact (since a Sat night date). Now, guys out there, why would a guy ask several times about doing something the next day/ask me if I was busy (which I was) and even talk about a restaraunt he wanted to check out with me "another night"??? I mean, why say this sort of thing if you're not gonna call??? I just don't get it. Here I am, willing to give him another chance after he was only partially honest about his marital status, and not even sure I was that attracted to him, and it already feels like he's moving right along past me. A female friend told me "they have 7 days to call" after a first date.....not sure where she heard that one. I"m feeling very disenchanted with the whole dating thing and about the prospect of ever meeting someone. What are guys looking for, and what's with the mixed signals, fellas?? I'm aware women give out mixed signals too, but the minds of men can be hard to figure...
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Met a guy online and we went out Sat night. I would say we got along quite well; we were out from 8pm til midnight. No goodnight kiss, however ( a quick kiss on the lips, although I was open to more.....). He asked me if I had plans the following day, which I did, and at one point, talked about a place we should try "another time". He hasn't called yet (since Sat night)---not that this is a sign of lack of interest, but how long should one expect to wait??? also, on his profile, he said he was divorced, but told me on the date he's separated, in the process of divorcing. We didn't get into too many details, but he seemed pretty firm about it being over, but I dont' like getting into all that stuff so early on. Anyhow. Thoughts about his slight misrepresentation re: his status, and on when this guy should call, if in fact he is interested?? Or on the lack of a real kiss???
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guy likes girl, sleeps with girl, loses interest in girl....
izzycat replied to izzycat's topic in Dating Advice
So, by your logic, is a guy not "boyfriend" material if he sleeps with a woman right away? What' s the male equivalent for " * * * *"? And you don' t think women agonize over unrequieted crushes and deal with the whole "let's be friends" line and deal with mixed signals??? PLEASE!! Let's just be honest here. Women have an easier time with processing their emotions and with being honest. Most women. Most men, no. Not all men!! I can't believe you're suggesting that a woman who beds a guy right away must do this often and isn't "girlfriend" material. What a double standard! What about the boys who do the same?? So you're saying guys want to marry the "sweet" girl and just sleep with the "loose, slutty" one?? -
guy likes girl, sleeps with girl, loses interest in girl....
izzycat replied to izzycat's topic in Dating Advice
in response to what diggity dog........i wasn't saying anything wrong about him being out without her.....she was thinking of dropping by, anyway. Women don't expect an instant relationship after sleeping with a guy, but guys should, assuming they are decent human beings, call a woman at the very least and be up front and honest about where there at, and not leave women agonizing and wondering what's going on. And 4 days is a long time, buddy, sorry. And his message he left her was VERY vague, he said nothing about having a good time or to see her again. He hasn't called her since she called him back a few days ago. Was he telling me all that about his ex etc. stuff he said so that I'd tell her and so he wouldn't have to call? He may not even call her at this point. I guess the whole issue is often, why do guys like the chase, and after sleeping with a woman, so often just end it there? Don't they want more sex at least, if not a "relationship"? And by the way, she is not saying she wants a relationship, just a little respect and consideration. -
guy likes girl, sleeps with girl, loses interest in girl....
izzycat posted a topic in Dating Advice
seriously, this is about a friend, not that I havent' been in a similar situation myself. My friend met a guy at a bar last week (she met him through me), and they instantly hit it off, left together. They met up again a few days later, flirted and danced all night, and then slept together and he spent the night. He didn't call her for 4 days, which is always a "red flag". Anyhow. He left a sort of vague message, saying nothing about having a good time, just "checking in". She then left him a message. Last night, I saw him (we hang out with a group of people every week) but she wasn't there. He approached me to ask about her.......he said "she's really nice", "we had fun" but my ex flame came into town last week, my head's all messed up, blah blah. He said, I'm gonna call her, I just don' t want a relationship right now. I told him to just be honest and direct with her and to call her. She's of course, angry and disappointed......is this whole "ex flame" in town just some B.S? Thoughts?? -
I met this guy about 1 month ago--a group of us hang out once a week at this bar. I sensed perhaps some interest/flirting on his part initially, but a month has passed and he hasn't asked me out or said anything, but we do always see each other each week, same place/time. We usually end of talking alot, and he seems to pay alot of attention to me. I sense he's shy maybe unsure....a few weeks ago, as we were both leaving the bar, he took my hand and kissed it as a way of goodbye. The other night, he and I were pretty much the last of the group to leave, and we sat at the bar for a while and talked...and he said he'd be away for a few weeks visiting family. I'm definetely gun shy when it comes to asking men out, and I'm extremely sensitive to rejection ,esp. when I know I'd see him at these weekly get togethers......He's straight, he's single......he may not be "the one" for me, but I'm intrigued, and at least want to be alone with him!! tips/suggestions/feedback welcome and appreciated!
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and an interesting one. I would read it as she likes you, and it's an intimate presonal gesture the way you describe. What about when a guy does it?? A few weeks ago, a guy I've recently met and am getting to know (we hang out with a group of people at a bar every week) took my hand and kissed it at the end of the evening as we said goodby. He and I and 2 of his friends stayed way later than the others. I've seen him twice since; he hasn't repeated the gesture, but we talk much of the time we're in the group... My first reaction was I felt all abuzz inside and sort of intrigued.... i don't recall the last time a guy did that. Thoughts/feedback??
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thanks! actually, the other night we were talking about live music and different bars, he mentioned a friend of his in a band who's playing soon...not sure if that was a "hint" at us hanging out or going together, but he didn't come out and ask. So, we'll see if I'm feeling brave next time, or if maybe he just comes out and says something. He'll have had a few weeks to get up his nerve!