rocio
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Everything posted by rocio
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I'm a 25 yr old female. I only use cash because I don't use credit cards and the fees they charge for using your debit card are outragous. I have student loans to pay off, but that's it. Soon I'll be getting a car and, eventually, a house so I guess debt is unavoidable. But credit card debt, nope. Actually, I don't think most of my friends have debts either.
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Get used to it because it's only going to get worse once the child comes. When the kid has trouble training to use the toilet, they'll blame it on your choice not to stay home with her. When she starts lying regularily, they'll say it's because of the other kids in the daycare (also, thereforeeee, your fault). When she turns 13 and starts smoking and getting piercings, they'll probably still be blaming it on you. So get comfortable. About returning to work - there are mothers who stay home with their kids and are so emotionally detached from the situation that they don't provide for the kids' basic needs. There are other mothers who work full-time and yet are in tune with their kids needs and are 100% there for their kids. I worked in a daycare for a couple years and there was an obvious difference between the families that centered around the kids and their needs, and the families that didn't. The kids from good families would come to daycare on a Monday morning full of great stories to share about the funny things mom and dad did, the cool trips they took, the friends they played with... The kids from bad families would either come with no stories at all, or would give us the full scoop on their parents' arguments, fights and personal lives. Daycare can also be great for kids development, something that older generations tend not to realise. Because they are surrounded by kids their age and older, they have peers to try and copy and tend to develop faster than when they are only in the company of adults. I personally think that part-time daycare is the optimal situation, although any childcare situation can be ideal as long as the parents are fully checked-in to their kids needs.
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Normally rude people don't bother me so much. I'm able to see through that and laugh it off. But parenting is such an overwhelming responsibility. I would hate to have her telling me something stupid like that I'm starving my child when I have trouble breastfeeding (apparently this happened with another patient).
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Great site!!! One problem - I've been calling around to every pediatrician in the city and they all refer me to a certain Dr. Joly. On that website it she gets a low rating and people say she discourages questions and makes you feel like a bad parent! She's supposed to be very knowledgable though, so maybe I could just try to ignore her rudeness and lack of people skills.
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Easy for you to say when you know nothing about me. I've never been in love. I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 24.
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Very few men don't have fears about becoming dads. I think he does have fears of his own and either doesn't want to burden you with them, or isn't even aware that he has them yet. They should come out eventually. There will be times when you'll have to be the strong, confident one. So let him take that role for now and resign yourself to being the worry-wart for now. Also, remember that your responsibilities in this are much greater than his. If the baby were to be unhealthy, you would blame yourself (after all, it's a part of your body now). You're the one who has to breastfeed and stay up with the baby and nurture it. Of course, dads do all of that too. But still, you're primarily responsible for all of that. It would be irrational not to be afraid and doubt yourself. I think the fact that you worry about being a good mother is indicative that you will be willing to acknowledge your own imperfections and have the humility to change inneffective parenting behaviors. In other words, it will make you a better mom. Being pregnant gets better in the second trimester for most women. But by the third, you're back to cursing that little alien inside you. I feel like he's beating me up from the inside and sometimes it infuriates me. On the bad days, I tell my bf that it's HIS child. (On the good days, we can share him).
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Fruit and yoghurt are good snacks - between classes or whatever. But for your meal you could have anything you would eat at home - just bring it in a tupperware container. Today I had chicken stirfry with veggies and rice. Yesterday I had chickpeas and rice. Sandwhiches can be healthy, but make you sure you use quality meat, whole grain bread, and low-fat mayo. (Cheese is good for you, but also high in fat so don't have too much.) Anything with meat and potatoes or meat and rice is good. Casseroles can be good. Stew. Spaghetti (remember to use whole wheat pasta) with meat sauce. To fill you up, you can also bring a side salad to go with the meal. Yoghurt, by the way, is really, really good for you. Read the labels and choose a yoghurt with lower calories (often fat-free yoghurt has the most calories because it's pumped full of sugar just to make it edible). And if you want something healthy to fill you up at school, soup is often a good option. Just don't take the creamy stuff.
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do a job u hate but pays a lot of $, no one likes their job
rocio replied to joe45's topic in Career, Money and Education
Just because someone chooses to go home at 3 when they finish their shift doesn't mean they don't like their job. It means they have balance between work, family, play, etc. I personally like my job and I know alot of others who do as well. Also, we get a certain satisfaction out of working hard, doing a good job, and contributing to society. Even construction workers who sweat all day and do hard labour often feel good about putting in such a hard day's work. When they go on vacation, they feel useless and bored. Of course, everyone is different. Check out my thread, "would you quit your job if you won the lottery?" Most people said they would continue with some kind of career. -
She's the one who should be embarrassed, asking stupid questions like that in front of her family. Some women have a preference one way or the other, but it sounds like she's young so she probably hasn't seen alot of guys to know the difference anyway. Once you two explore each other and she sees what a sexy thing it is to be uncircumcised, she will love it.
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Okay, what if you did have the abortion? On what planet would you stay with a guy like this anyway? Either way, he's out of the picture (unless he decides to grow a brain and step up to his responsibilities). It's up to you to decide what is best for yourself and the child. What do you think you'll do?
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^ I was addressing those 20 and under, since that was the subject of the OP
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You have a huge advantage because the 20K could work toward a downpayment on a house and you would save an incredible amount of money by spending the next 10 years paying off a mortgage instead of renting. If I were you, I wouldn't touch that money. Instead, try to stay out of your dad's way and try to find a job. Move out when you're financially ready to. It doesn't have to be expensive to live on your own. You could find share a big apartment with 5 other guys and live off of kraft dinner. It's actually kinda fun. But first, find at least part-time work.
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Professors forgot to turn in my letters of recommendation...
rocio replied to n83's topic in Career, Money and Education
Talk to their secretary or administrative assistant. Explain to her that you're going out of town for a few days and want to be sure the letters get out. -
Professors forgot to turn in my letters of recommendation...
rocio replied to n83's topic in Career, Money and Education
This happened to me and it cost me $$$. I needed 3 references and one of the profs didn't submit his. The deadline passed and, because of that, I wasn't considered for some funding and scholarships. I ended up getting some funding anyway, but the graduate advisor at my new school jokingly told me I should send a bill to the old prof because he costs me money. Get on their case! Who cares if you annoy them? This is your life we're talking about. -
Thanks Ash. I'm giving birth at home, but do you think I should just call around to various hospitals and ask?
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Okay you guys are 17, 19 and 20. Get over it. Most people do find love "eventually". But "eventually" doesn't mean "by the time you're 20". Please, get some perspective. Girlfriends aren't all they're cracked up to be anyway. They're a pain in the butt. And falling in love is about as much fun as falling into a hole. It hurts. If you start comparing yourself to your friends and getting desperate, you will just attract the wrong women (if any women at all). Take it easy, get out there are meet people, be yourself, be friendly, and you WILL fall in love soon (for better or for worse).
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Apparently there's a shortage of pediatricians in my city. I've been calling around and can't find one who is accepting new patients. I've called my doctor to ask her for a referral, but does anyone have other ideas? Baby is coming in a month and this is a bit unexpected..
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Oh darn.. There go my plans for the first week
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Three friends is a good start. When you have even just 1 or 2 friends, you can make more friends. You can go to the local pub together and casually chat with others. (That's must harder to do when you're alone. You feel self-conscious and weird just talking to strangers.) Try to take things slow with this girl. Keep it friendly and casual at first and try to meet some of her friends. Ask your other friends to introduce you to people they know. As far as dealing with the loneliness, make yourself a routine. Go for a walk each evening around the same time. Get some cookbooks and take time each night preparing supper and learning to make new dishes (instead of just throwing something in the microwave and eating it in front of the t.v.) Especially on weekends, make sure you have things planned to go and do every day. Also, keep your home clean (you can easily get depressed when your home is messy and you have no motivation to clean it).
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My midwife instructed me to buy adult diapers for that.
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It can be done, but very carefully. Personally, I'm too shy and would probably come accross as an awkward idiot if I tried. So I'll be as friendly as possible, then slip a note with my phone number under their book when they're not looking. That's probably even more creepy, but it actually tends to work. If you're not into childish games like me, then you can still do it but you have to be funny and confident. That's the only way it will work. Don't ask for her phone number. Instead, strike up conversation and try to bend the conversation in such a way that a date comes up. Like if she's reading a book about China, you could ask her if she likes Chinese food and then say you know a great Chinese restaurant and ask if she'd like to tag along one day. Once you've established the date, get her number. You could also ask if she has time to grab a coffee on the spot. Say, "if you're not too busy, would you let me buy you a coffee at the starbucks around the corner?" If she says she doesn't have time, ask if you could buy her a coffee some time this weekend instead. If she says no, save your dignity by saying something like, "that's ok. no pressure. I had to ask." Give her a sexy smile and walk away. Those approaches are less creepy than just saying, "by the way, could I have your number?" after a minute of conversation.
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Alright, for the first time in a while, I need help!
rocio replied to RayKay's topic in Relationship Advice
I'm late to the thread and, reading through, I don't have much to add. I agree that he bears some responsibility in not sharing these concerns with you sooner. You're not a mind reader and you saw the signs, but misinterpretted them. At this point, just be very careful because he's likely scrutinising your actions so you'll want to be sure to send out the right signals. It sounds like the two of you have survived worse and have what it takes to get through this. -
Nonsense. We need you to walk us amateurs through this! So what are these tucks and where do I get them?
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I would be interested to see a study of a large population that compares the proportion of gay persons vs. straight persons who have been molested to the proportion of gay vs. straight persons who haven't been molested. I doubt that there would be a significant difference, but I do think it's possible. I believe that most persons are not purely hetero or homosexual, but rather somewhere on the spectrum in-between. There are many persons out there who are gay but refuse to admit it. Perhaps men who have already had sex with men (whether it was forced or consensual) are more likely to admit that they are gay.
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That was a mean thing to say. It is absolutely not true that you need to have sex in order to have a romantic relationship. You are patronizing her by trying to "get things through her head". I don't think the problem is that she's unintellegent or doesn't understand what's happening. Some people need sex twice a day. others only need it a few times per year. It doesn't necessarily mean there's something wrong with her. The two of you likely are not compatible for a life-long relationship though.