amtjrtcet
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Everything posted by amtjrtcet
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He's just not that into you.... I know it sounds a little harsh, but I wish I would have had someone tell me that about the last guy I was seeing. Same situation. Don't take it as something you did, its not you, its him. You've given him the opportunity to be honest with you & a way out if he's looking for one. He may not ever respond, don't expect him to. Move on honey. He's not a real man if he can't be honest with you. You're better then him.
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I've had the same thing happen to me, it leaves you wondering what went wrong....But just leave it be. If he's truly interested he'll call. Don't worry yourself with it. I know its hard, but worrying about it won't change anything. I do think its possible that men can change their minds very quickly, as can women. For what reason, I don't know. Give it some time. Whatever happens it'll be fine.
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Who else is in the first phases of NC?
amtjrtcet replied to Cassie's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
I'm on about 3 1/2 wks of NC, w/out communication. And about 10 days on not seeing him at all (I kept seeing him out, not by choice). Its hard, I find myself still hoping he'll call, wondering what he's doing, if he's thinking about me (which he's not). But the pain does begin to subside, it still hurts but not quite as much. Stay strong -
Its too soon for him to be back in your social group. You're not over him, and you need not to have contact with him until you truly are. You may be feeling like you'd rather have him as a friend then not at all, but trust me...NO CONTACT. Healing takes time, give it that.
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I'm sorry you are going through this. I've been burned pretty bad & its caused me 2 become a "one chance" kinda person with NO exceptions.....There are decent people out there, you're one of them. Don't settle for anything less then what makes you happy.....Don't worry about explaining things to anyone, its your life........In my opninion, if you don't have trust, then you don't have anything. Good luck, stay strong
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Our Dreams Differ...is this destructive?
amtjrtcet replied to heavensent's topic in Marriage/Long Term Relationships
Pico is right.....If you want to show him you support his dreams & that you're not trying to hold him back, then do just that. When he tells you about these dreams and goals of his, don't respond with anything negative, even if its just you trying to be more realistic-it'll come accross to him as you just shooting him down. Be supportive, be positive. He wants a better life for the both of you and there is nothing wrong with that. -
I know how you feel....I recently got burned, bad. And it seems like every time I turn around something else goes wrong, and he is just carrying along, happy as can be, not even concerned that he ripped my heart out. But I try my best to focus on the good in my life, & though it may not be very helpful-things could always be worse. I'm alive, healthy, have a roof over my head, and there are others who truly care about me even if he doesn't. Hang in there, I'm tyring to. It has to get easier.
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What are these feelings?
amtjrtcet replied to handsdown's topic in Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend Relationships
Well put kellbell -
Hey, yeah I did it for a while. Don't recommend it. You basically got to resurants and stores and observe the employees and the atmosphere. You rate them and make a report about their customer service, friendliness, helpfulness, ect. Sometimes they'll pay you for your meal, or allow you to keep the items you purchased (which were on their list). After I signed up it took 7 months for them to send me an assignment. It also only works for you if you are located close to a larger city.
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Not all women are concerned w/a mans height. I'm 5"4 (average height for a woman I think) and the last guy I dated fit your description on height and weight. I adored him. I didn't care at all that we were so close in height. He was pretty insecure about it, but I tried to make him as comfortable as possible. I was proud to be seen with him, till I found out what an * * * * * * * he really was. Now maybe if I were taller, I'd want a taller man. Be more confident with who you are. Confidence, to me, is more attractive then a man's height.
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Life Support or no life support
amtjrtcet replied to dazedandconfusedbydestiny's topic in Grief Loss and Bereavement
I know your feeling of "what if". My father had a cat. stroke on 05/06/04. We were told the same, he'd be in a vegetable state if he survived. My mother and I had to make the decision to take him off life support. How could we be expected to make that decision, and play "GOD"? But we prayed for hours in the hospital, & we knew my father would not have wanted to live like that. I'll always wonder "what if". But I know he's in a better place now, and that's all I allow myself to focus on. -
Oh honey, his mind is gonna wander. There's NOTHING you can do about it. You'll only drive yourself crazy, and possibly drive him away by being so insecure. Trust me sweetheart, he's 18, he's gonna want to pleasure himself, and you shouldn't feel like you have to have sex w/him just to keep him. Relax, real love shouldn't make you feel so insecure.
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From reading your previous posts about him he's definitely not a NORMAL man. He's mentally and verbally abusive and him saying things to hurt you is just his way of trying to still control your emotions. Of course you're angry, you have every right to be. Focus on your anger for the way he's treated you by ignoring HIM. I know there's probably a million things you want to say to him, questions you want to ask him. But he's not going to give you the answers you need or the closure that you need. You have to give it to yourself. I know exactly how you are feeling right now, I'm battleing that same pain. Good luck, stay strong
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Well if you haven't had sex then you don't have to worry about being pregnant, but I would definitely see your doctor. This will give you piece of mind & also make you aware if something is wrong.
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I think sex is very important in a relationship. Have the two of you been sexually active before??
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ill prepare for all these lies
amtjrtcet replied to neva_black_n_white's topic in Poetry, Prose, Art & Photography's Topics
I love it. Its great -
Oh God do I know how you feel!! That sounds exactly like my situation. If you figure it out let me know.
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If I may suggest a book that has helped me to try and understand men. "He's Just Not That Into You" by Greg Behrendt. It brutally honest and painfully enlighting.
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He's a jerk!! I know how you're feeling. You're probably asking yourself what you did wrong. And weren't you at least worth the break up? It's unbelieveable how someone can just shut you out, just like that. He's not going to give you the closure that you need. You're not going to get the apology that is due to you. He's not concerned with your feelings. But don't blame yourself. Honestly, its not you, its HIM. NO CONTACT. Don't call him or email him, don't ask his friends about him. Stay away from anywhere he might be. At least until the pain subsides. And it will. It will take some time. But try to keep in mind, no matter how great it may have once been, if he can just toss you aside and shut you out of his life just like that, he's not good enough for you. You deserve better, and there's better out there. Be strong and hold you head up, it will get easier.
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Don't feel stupid, you were being honest with her. I agree, it is harder to think clearly at night. And its also harder to think clearly when you are overworked and sick. Don't call her or txt again until she replys to you. You don't want her to feel smothered. Don't apologize for telling her how you feel, there was nothing wrong with that, but give her some space. If she's not feeling well & its only been a couple months she probably doesn't feel comfortable enough to have you there while she's sick. Honestly she does sound a little distant, but you can never really tell by a text msg. Like I said, let her be the one to make the next move. I know it'll be hard, but let her be the one to contact you.
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Hey there, I was recently in a very similar situation.(But the guy ended up being a cheating * * * * * * *!!) It may have been a little early to ask the "where do we stand" question, but its ok. It sounds like she is really focused on her future & working very hard to get there. Just support her, don't give her a hard time about how busy she is. Give her a little time to reply to your text, b/c you don't know how busy she's been since you sent it or what she's been doing. But don't allow your self to be blinded by your feelings for her, if she doesn't reply at all, let it go. Sounds like you are doing all the right things, so you can't blame yourself.
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Good for you honey!! A lot of women can only please themselves at first. A womans orgasm is totally different from a mans. We have to know how to get ourselves there before a man can make us orgasm. I don't think the fact that you use your vibrator 3x a day is abnormal, if I had enough time in the day I'd probably do it too!
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I THINK IF I WAS YOUR BEST FRIENDS I'D GIVE YOU A GOOD A** KICKING! You will learn once you GROW UP that the way you are acting is not what constitues high self-esteem or confidence. The way you are acting will cause guys to have NO RESPECT for you b/c you have no respect for yourself, plus I don't see you having many friends for very long. Grow up honey.
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You sound just like I did in my last relationship. It is very frustrating to be the one to always initiate communication and affection. It leaves you feeling empty, and constantly wondering where you stand. I don't really know what to tell you to do being you are the man. I'd tell a woman in your position to back off for a while, let him call you. I guess you could try the same thing. I will honestly tell you, there is almost nothing more unattractive to a woman then an insecure, needy man. It drives women away. Probably just like the same type of woman drives men away. Good luck.
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RayKay is right. A woman has to find the orgasm on her own, and does have to be relaxed. She's probably nervous, & obviously not experienced. Its not your fault.