jumper

I have to say that since my gf broke it off with me a month ago, I still go to her myspace (which she just started after the breakup) to see what shes doing. I know, I shouldnt do it, but now I see her trying to hook up with all these men, leaving them I love you stuff. In a way, it makes my mind feel better about the whole breakup (like dang, I am glad I am not going to spend my life with someone like that), but it does sometimes hurt my heart to see those things. I mean her site looks like shes almost desperate for a man. I see myself looking at her site less and less.

I would like to hear some insight on why people actually rebound? Also, why rebounds do/do not work out most of the time? I know that in my situation, my ex started trying to find men almost immediately, while I wasn't even the least bit interested in seeing other women. It's been a month now, and I still have no interest in dating yet.

Thats great inspiration! I myself was extremely shy until I was called upon to be an Army recruiter a few years ago. I had to swim or drown. It was my career on the line. When I first got to my duty site, I had a seasoned recruiter take me to the local mall, he pointed to a cashier at a clothing store and told me to go over there, introduce myself and ask her is she liked short men (I am only 5'5). I was like "he cant be serious". He just told me to go and do it. I did it, and to my surprise, she laughed and gave me her number. After that it was all gravy for the rest of my time on that assignment. I have never dated so many women. The downside to that is that when I got back to my regular job, I began to lose some of what I had learned and began becoming shy again. I know what I have to do because I have learned it once. Its just going to take some self determination. Just do it! Just my experience

Here here! I totally agree with that somehow in my head not my heart. Thinking how if someone else dumped her and she comes running back because of how well I treated her. I am not second to anyone. Thats what I would feel like if that happened. She would just be with me until something better came along. Think about it.

I looked at that site. Interesting. I am wondering about my ex now. Within days of her breaking up with me, she starts a webpage looking for men, starts inviting older men over that live four hours away to stay the weekend with her, and then tells me she needs a breast job. She also tends to talk exactly like whomever she may be having a conversation with, ie from twang southern talk to ebonics type language.

I am in the same situation. I used to work on a ranch with horses all the time when I was younger. After work most of us would go to the local country dance hall to listen to country music, drink some beer and just relax. I would turn women down who asked me to dance because I didnt know how to dance very well and I was usually just tired. Anyways, I do try and dance from time to time, but the thing is, that I try to be perfect with most things that I do. I think if I could learn how to really dance well (not on a Sat night in front of everyone) I would have the confidence to hit the dance floor with any woman. Because of this, I have told myself that I am going to take a few private lessons within the next month. I am not getting any younger and I dont want to regret not dancing when I grow old. My parents never really taught me how to dance. I dont want my son to go through this when he gets older. I want to teach him, and teach him well. My thoughts

Too funny! Personnaly, I think one of the reasons that I started working out so hard was because I was short and felt like, if I couldnt do anything about my height, I sure as hell can do something about my physical appearance. As time went on though, I no longer thought that way, and just though about my health. Just a thought.

Like I said before, I weight train 5-6 days a week. I play tennis and run approximately 9 miles per week. I am very active and in great shape. Believe me. Its not fat.

This brings on a matter of great differences in opinion. The matter of someones past. The majority of the time all I hear is, leave someones past alone, its their past, especially in a new relationship. I somewhat disagree. If you really don't know that person and there seems to be some red flags there, I think its ok to ask about their past. Look, if I was interviewing an individual for a good job that took a person with great trust to fill that position, only to find out that she had quit her last three jobs just after a few months of working for them, I would definitely think twice. I may still hire her, but I would be cautious for a while. Just my thoughts

This is one subject I am familiar with. I have always done the whole courting thing since I can remember. Its how I was raised. Even women whom I am not remotely attracted to, I do this. Its funny though, most women that never had this done to them before don't know how to react and get kind of nervous. I chuckle inside when I see this. The girl that just broke up with me had been married three times and has had lots of relationships. She told me that she has never been courted like that before. Some men will do it at the beginning only, although I have not seen much of that. My parents have been married thirty plus years and my father still opens my mothers door and helps her get in when she needs it.

Thats exactly how I feel. On the flip side (I hope I am not looked at as shallow) I am not attracted to hefty women. I have even met some really nice women with great personalities, but I was just not attracted to them. Some of my family has labeled me as shallow because of this. Others have said that is not shallow and those are your standards. I can say that I treat all women with great respect, no matter their body type. The way I feel is that I work really hard to stay in shape daily, and I would prefer that a woman that I date have some similarities in that aspect. Height is something I can't help though. I just don't want to sound like a hippocrate.

I would like to hear from some females on this. I am a fairly short man, about 5'5 and 170lbs. I can honestly say that I have an athletic body and am fairly nice looking. Why are women so caught up in mens' height? I mean, I have plenty of female friends who have tried to set me up. They see my pic and then want to meet me until they find out how tall I am. I mean I have actually overheard conversations with my friends on this is, why they wouldn't go out with me. Although I am a pretty confident guy, this makes things really difficult to be confident around women sometimes. I mean the friend that I sometimes go out with is 6'3, which doesnt help matters any.

Wow blender, this is somewhat weird. That is exactly what some of my friends have said (one of them a psychologist). To a Tee. And you don't even know half of what they know. The funny thing is, on her website, she says she is looking for a man who has his life together Mr. Slightlybent, that is the reason I went out with her knowing that she was married three times at 25. We are all human. The difference is, her next marriage will be her fourth. So I am going to make a wild assumption. As the dumper, I assume that she probably is not reflecting and will just move from one relationship to another until the newness of one wears away.

Maybe you should look at why you need to be with a woman who (you perceive) needs so much help in such basic areas of life? There are theories that point to certain (well, not trying to stereotype, but...) men, who don't like to be with women who have their life together, because then they (the men) do not have the sense of superiority over those women. I don't know you, so i'm not trying to point fingers, but it might be worth looking into? That's an interesting theory. I try to keep an open mind about things, but I look back now, and think to myself, I should've known that a 25yr old woman who has already been married three times is not normal. Like any man, I was attracted to this woman and tried to persue a relationship with her. During that time, I tried to help her (not tell her) with positive reinforcement to improve her low self esteem. The smoking was for her and her son. Would I have preferred her not to have these issues and have her life together? definitely. I know I am getting off the main subject now, but now that it is over, I am not looking for another relationship right now. I am actually still reflecting on what might have gone wrong with the last one, while she seems to be doing the opposite. {Quote she is just trying to see what's out there} Within a week. Why? Anyways, the why part is what I was asking dumpers about. Thanks